What happened to LTWWB? It used to be a shining bastion of nastiness and political incorrectness. Now it’s been stripped, sanitized, and de-clawed.
Bring back the raw, unadulterated hatred and disgust. Let the masses roil and throw themselves, with teeth gnashing, at each other. Give me back my old LTWWB!
—Old School
This article appears in Jul 22-28, 2010.
we prefer to keep it a little tamer… and NOT be sued.
Aw, lick my mud flaps. Happy?
Oh go fuck yourself. Happy now?
People got educated while you were gone, OP. People also realized that this is 21st century too. And I do not feel comfortable using the F word. I apologize if my tameness offended you, OP. *evil grin*
i agree with this bitch
write a new bitch 666^^^
wasn’t me.to many big words
and the sentence structure is to refined.i think it is
nonono…i meant you write a new bitch. i knew that wasn’t you numnuts^^
can’t write a new bitch, i am distracted by having numnuts.do you think its a medical condition or is it mental.and how would i find out.
Hit them real hard and if they hurt it is medical, and if you feel good it is mental.
Hit them real hard and if they hurt it is medical, and if you feel good it is mental.
hilarious that was a funny comment.i love it
well, go get fucked then, how’s that for ya.
Our Dear Maude, while a really sweet gal and all, seems to be a bit too tame for these here Bitch boards. Whatever happened to the “Another boring breakup story” and “Another bus bitch” tags?
It’s been a lot less exciting since BMF and kay have left (or have dramatically reduced their postings) too… and MEEEEE though I still like to poke my head in from time to time.
O-CEAN-LADY was a health nut.
She did her cooking in a wok
LIFESUCKS didn’t like it
because he has a giant…
Cock-A-Doodle-Doodle
NEWTOHALIFAX just won’t quit.
She’ll eat MARTYM’S cooking
even though it tastes like …
Shih-Tzus make good house pets.
MINDSNAP says they’re cuddly and sweet.
Can’t say the same for ZZZ
because he always beats his…
Meetings in the office,
with THEBLACKROSE in the halls.
That’s how BASIL FAWLTY
gets us all to suck his…
Balzac was a writer.
He lived with MAUDE and Alan Funt.
TTFN doesn’t like him.
Perhaps she is a…
Contaminated water
made SIXXES awful sick.
BROTIM got a kidney stone
and blood came out his…
Dictate what PAINGIRL tells you,
So KARMA brings you luck.
And if IVAN has misused the term
he doesn’t give a flying F*#@!
An early Happy Natal Day to my civilized, sanitzed and bowdlerized Bitch-Buds >; )
*****and the award goes to our very own commander. what’s he win johnny? a year’s supply of rice-a-roni…rawk^^
Great stuff The Ivan Who Would Be A Poet Laureate!!!
Okay, let’s set this beauty to music! With the hot, hot heat of summer maybe a riddim would be appropriate…
The Ivan Who Should Be A Rockstar deserves an extra slice of blueberry pie for coming up with this gem! Hell, give him the whole damn pie! What a hoot!
For anybody who I may have left out, there will be a longer “Director’s Cut” DVD released in time for Xmas, with accompanying video featuring Sting, Bob Geldof, Bono, The Edge (but not the other 2 wankers who nobody cares about) Ringo Starr, Aretha Franklin, Lionel Ritchie, Donnie Osmond, Beyonce, Katy Perry, and Justin Bieber with special spoken introduction written and performed by Nelson Mandela.
Mmmmm – Rice-a-Roni, and Blueberry pie. Dis is truly as good as it gets.
And anybody curious about hearing the original source material on U-Toob- key in South Park Wendy’s Song.
Thanks Bitch muses >: )
i wrote a bitch about subsidized day care spots for welfare kids, i guess she didnt like that one……
try try again vot
gonna say Ivan, it almost sounded like a mad lib and you just put in names….
Plagiarism IS piracy.
Plus, just to mimic the movie industry, every friggin’ book should have the first 12 pages as anti-piracy ads and they should somehow enforce you reading them before gaining access to the remainder of the book.
I always thought that plagiarism was the sincerest form of flattery. Besides, the Coasties aren’t gonna rat me out now, are they? Besides, I can always say I got it off of Wiki-leaks
i could give a flying fuck…as long as you keep me entertained. it’s a dark day for painey
I think the old LTWWB is gone forever, OP…I too miss it, used to be the first site I checked every morning and last one B4 the whistle blew at 4pm…now you’re lucky if I drop in once a week.
Sorry moderator, but deleted posts and ignored bitches just ain’t the way this shit used to run…you should’ve got better training or some shit!
Oh Painey – . Is it anything you can refer to here, however obliquely? Concerned Rawk.
It was a beautiful poem, and it picked me up on a crappy day too Ivan, my King. Perhaps I’ll make it into the sequel – mad lib plagiarism or not.
*mouse ears* to you pg.
it involves a trip to a brick building on sgr…i will let you know on the morrow…nervous rawk
everything be otay…lawyers can be angels. freedom rawk
Keeping a good thought for you Painey. We *mouse ears* happy outcomes for our bitch-buds. Optimistic Rawk.
How many times in the course of one’s life do you expect to say that huh? They take a lot of stick but when you really need em…. Now I’ll hoist a cold one to corbies and absent friends
Hey, I saw a pair of cardinals on the grounds of the dacha yesterday morning.
Good omen Rawk.
how do you come up with these things ivan,funny crazy funny
My super-power, Sixxes, is knowing what steal from and when to steal it. No need to thank me citizen; it’s my job.
I’m PLAGIARISM MAN. TO REPETITION AND BEYOND!
Why does it say I just won’t quit? I talk too much? 🙁
*sobs*
Hey, at least you got a mention. I had to deal with the prospect of at least a dozen male regulars complaining that weren’t in the first verse. >; )
I am so changing my avatar to something more authoritarian and important looking than yours Ivan so you will FEAR ME. Something like a picture of Theodore the Tugboat.
I did fear the ceramic Raccoon Dogs with the giant goolies. Boy did I fear those. Evil, fetishistic japanese knick-knacks hangin’ brain. Cripes almighty I couldn’t sleep for days.
For sleepless nights:
http://www.absurdintellectual.com/wp-conte…
Just for you Ivan.
Y’know Newt, I could have lived the next 20 years very nicely without seeing that. Very nicely indeed. >; )
Not sure which is more scary, the women or the candy they are holding in their hands.
50/50. And you said you were coming to this party as Theodore Tugboat not Roadkill Panda.
Geez Louise.
Oh right, the Tugboat.
I agree. The new mods on this board suck.
FYI LTWWBers:
Around these parts Bitches are not ignored, if a Bitch isn’t posted it’s because it’s offensive, inflammatory, redundant, or unable to be edited without being reworked into but a shadow of its former self. So if you want to see your bitch online follow the guidelines posted.
It can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days for submissions to go live.
Comments/posts are deleted only if they cross the line, and sometimes when questionable content is reported.
In the meantime choose your poison; either you want a hard-ass mod who lets nothing slip by, or a mod who gives you a little more room to play. Doing so doesn’t make me a push over…
Lastly, if you want something to change around here email me with your suggestion or request. I make no promises except that I will consider every legitimate comment I receive. Hell, if you you want standard tags like ABB, or ABBS then tell me so. Although I wish the opposite were true I’m sorely lacking in the esp department.
I thought bitches were supposed to be offensive and inflammatory. Redundancy doesn’t matter and it is redundant to cite it as a reason. Reworking should be limited to the removal of proper names only.
Fuck me, I can take responsibility for myself. If someone wants to sue me because of something I wrote on this board then so be it. It is not the responsibility of a mod to protect me from myself. Besides, the Coast has already demonstrated that they’re not about to protect the people who post here so it should not matter.
The comment about choosing our poison makes absolutely no sense.
I was told the reason one of my bitches didn’t get posted was because it was similar to another bitch that had already been posted yet I’ve seen multiple bitches posted about the commons, crosswalks, parking bans, etc. etc. So, really the reason it didn’t get posted was because mod4.0 didn’t like what I had to say but can’t admit it.
I’ve also received emails stating that some of my posts that were not offensive and didn’t cross any lines were deleted by mistake “oops sorry”…
I have a feeling Mod 4.0 takes things a little too personal and because of this has driven away some of my favourite posters… (Miles where are you?)
I kinda wish they’d drive pavillion and lorilulu away…
posting on the very site you’re bitching about….
that’s like complaining your own clothes make you look like a sack of shit, but just wearing them anyways.
Pavillion: offensive to a point – sure, but many submissions cross that line in the extreme. It would be great if Bitches were submitted so that they required little to know editing but alas, that is often not the case.
As for redundancy, sure many bitches are about similar things, and often similar things get posted, but usually not on the same day.
While I do care for the well-being of commenters on the site, I am primarily concerned with ensuring things don’t get posted that end in a hullabaloo akin to the firefighters debacle. And it IS my responsibility to do so.
lorilulu: yes, during the great spam deluge of 2010 a few comments got deleted that weren’t supposed to. Turns out I’m not perfect, who knew? As for not liking what you have to say, submissions are anonymous so I don’t know whose bitch belongs to who. I don’t like the submissions at times, but unless it crosses one of the lines mentioned earlier even those get posted. We do, however, reserve the right to post or not post at will, and edit submissions as we see fit. Just in case you haven’t read the Bitch preamble lately here it is:
Submit Your Bitch:
Get something off your chest and it could be published online and/or in print. Bitches are anonymous and may be edited for length, grammar, spelling and our lenient standards of propriety.
IMPORTANT:
The primary rule of the bitch section is that you must not use any specific names or IDs—either in reference to yourself or to who you’re Bitching about. Secondary rules include such basics as no violent personal threats or breaking any Canadian Hate Laws: do that, and you won’t get your Bitch posted.
Respond to other Bitches in the comments section below the Bitch in question. Do not respond here; new Bitches are for, er, new Bitches. Likewise, if you take issue with a particular article in The Coast, why not comment on it in the article itself, rather than Bitch about it?
To report an abusive Bitch or an abusive comment on a Bitch use the REPORT THIS COMMENT link underneath the Bitch in question. This will flag the Bitch and report it to our editors.
Man I woulda just said “Like it, or leave it.”
No justification from me 😀
…and i would add miss maudey, if you don’t like the rules here go elsewhere. grrrr
Zigactly ! I’ve had comments deleted and a bitch not posted and I’ve got a pretty good idea why. No complaints from me with either the house rules or the way Maude enforces them. We lost a couple of great regulars after the firefighter imbroglio and face it, some people get burned out, start taking things (or themselves) too seriously, or no longer like the emotions the site stirs up and need a hiatus. Blaming the Moderator for an imagined paucity of good bitches is both puerile and factually wrong. The onus is on us folks.
There are a few bitchers who presence has been missed here by this bitcher. Not so for one who felt it necessary to bash someone hard just because they have a differing opinion that wasn’t to their taste. I think most of us come here to share/debate/uphold/challenge our opinions. Bullying not required. Bullying is such an immature response. Can’t say I miss the silly bullytard. LTWWB and Nova Scotia are so much better now:)
i miss miles, der, ruby jane, no dogma, bmf etc…but the other shall remain nameless^^^
i found it sweet racoon girl^^
ah thanks paingirl, I miss out on so much discussion while I am at work.
you are welcome…might as well put my giant brain to good use
My brain is usually fried by the end of the day. I envy you for being able to make use of it.
it’s a win/lose scenario…ahem i will put it this way
there once was a girl who had a curl
right in the middle of her forehead
and when she was good
she was very very good
and when she was bad she was horrid
rawk. grrr. rooo. snort. heehaw and rawr—->for the leos
I’m Ivan Sonofabitch, and I endorse this message.
Rawr! I am Leo, here me ROAR! 🙂
me ma read that to me, when i was wee. it might have been mother goose…freak. snips and snails and puppy dog tails…and the grimm stuff was creepy. beats the hell out of some shite today…merci
They should get someone a little older than the current mod, more seasoned. Someone who won’t throw up their dainty little hands when someone says ‘suck on my knobhairs’ – there’s way too much fucking censorship (it reeks of Women’s Studies which makes me want to vomit with rage) and this board needs someone a little more jaded to go thru these posts and comments constructively. But since that ain’t gonna happen, all we can do is collectively suck it up, then sigh with resignation that the Bitch Board as we once knew it dissolved with the exit of Andy and Tim.
Hey Paingirl,
Thanks for the mention!!
I’ve just been really really busy at my new job. Too busy to post most days, but when things get too crazy, I still check in for a dose of sanity (!) on the ol’ bitch board.
Seeing all my favourite posters in fine form always makes me smile.
And, to you, Herr Ivan, you are really on a roll these days.
Love y’all!!!
TTFN:
Age is nothing but a number. I do my job as it demands, as anyone in the position would do. The only censorship here involves removing names or identifying information that reveal who the posts are about. I actually let a lot slip by that would be well within my right to remove according to board standards… but go ahead and complain if you want, that’s par for the course.
TTFN, not just women’s studies, but pretty much all politically correct dogmas that have come to exist in the last 15-20 years. The political correctness of this place since the introduction of the newest moderator has become stifling.
Mod 4.0, these things that you believe are well within your right to remove, why not let them slip a bit further (except for the exact names) and let the inhabitants of the board deal with the miscreants with their responses and general chagrin. Being called out for being a stupid prick works a lot better on most people than being told to be quiet in the corner for a time out.
Thanks Invisible Lady (Barney Gumbel voice)
hey sweetie…i know who you are but i won’t say nowt. thanks for stopping by^^
I love how everyone’s telling Mod how to do her flippin’ job.
y’all do you your own god damn jobs and let her do hers.
as many have done in the past, FIND ANOTHER BOARD if you don’t like the rules round these parts. There’s a whole interweb of ridiculous boards you can splash your useless banter on.
Pavillion: I do, unless – of course – things are flagged. Then they are removed unless there’s really no problem. I let you folks rip each other – and the world around – up on a daily basis. I think you have me confused with 3.0…
I don’t believe I have the right to remove I know I do, that said I don’t actually remove much… However I do have rules to follow and enforce… It’s my job and I’ll continue to do it as necessary.
There’s always 4chan if you want no holds barred…
side note:
To the person sending bitches about ‘EP’ in PPP. And bitches about me not posting those bitches… It wasn’t her, she’s been out of town – she does however have a doppelganger who lives here too, who gets approached all the time… But once again, no real names people… please!
awww… I want a doppleganger…..
I could live with going to work only every other day.
Why am I suddenly thinking of that calvin and hobbes stretch where he makes the duplicator out of the cardboard box?
does cardboard have that ability?
maybe with markers and a glued on button….
TTFn and Pavillion, maybe all the people defending mod weren’t around long long ago when things used to get crazy…I remember how I would laugh at some of the arguments between regulars who hated eachother and how every new poster would unknowingly pick a side….oh those were the days. Although I’ve never posted much, I enjoyed dropping in daily…it seems everyone on here now only wants people like themselves, with the same interests posting…doesn’t make sense….it’s so much better the other way!!!
Oh and Zzz: come on out of mod’s ass for some fresh air, wouldya?
lori… I know the whole ‘friends’ concept is foreign to you … where you’re quite a beeeehotch….
so look it up.
Ya Zzz, unlike you I tend to keep my friends in the human form and internet aquaintances, well, on the internet…
Ooooooooh she went there.
i remember those days well lorilulu. i am nostalgic for them, in a sorta masochistic way^^^i did get tired of the gdiaf but i lurked more often than i posted
I’m quite glad I didn’t to be honest. Some of the best people I’ve met lately were on here….
So I guess I’m glad not to be like you…
as should all the rest of us
and we’re real-world friends too, albeit new ones…
“So I guess I’m glad not to be like you…
as should all the rest of us”
….right guys? guys? are you with me? we’re one big happy family right guys?
It’s kinda pathetic zZz…I never really saw you this way before. Usually you come off as a bigger Biotch than myself but now you’re all “butterflies, rainbows, and hugs”…is this really all because you’re trying to get laid by mod? Either way, you are right …you should be glad you’re not like me cause I’m all “sex, drugs, and R&R” trust me, you’d hate it! Keep attacking people who aren’t like you….that’s an awesome way to keep meeting people just like YOU!
rainbows? butterflies? hugs? Holy shit on a christmas tree…..
if you think that’s what I’m about you’re more delusional than I thought.
I’m sure people can contest that though I don’t really need them to.
It’s sad though because if you’re the rocker you claim to be, we’d likely get along.
Pffff, you’re probably my BFF…you just don’t know if cause I don’t talk LTWWB with my real-life friends…LOL
We gettin high tonight?
sadly, my anonymity is degraded to the point of transparency so I cannot confirm, nor deny what said intentions tonight are….
and do excuse me for acting a little warmer at times on here instead of being my old zany, thrashing lunatic…
I’ve been slowly drowning in chaos and can feel the warm grasp of insanity on my brain.
it makes me smell burnt toast from time to time, but I like toast so it’s kinda ok.
So make yourself some tea, some toast, draw yourself a warm bath and climb in – with the toaster. >; ) Just joshing zZz. Like you I’ve made some kickass friends on this site , and friends are worth going to war for. *Snort.
oh, I don’t think I could leave jonnoman without a toaster… that would be cruel.
and really…. giving me tips?
really?
I wonder if the cord reaches…. they make them so bloody short these days.
The subliminal seed has been planted. Heh, Heh, Heh. For what it’s worth your sense of the absurd is far more entertaining than two regulars calling each other assholes for a dozen posts before reaching for the thesaurus. Now, please tell me to go fuck myself so I can retreat to my insular world of cheap vodka and Dostoyevskian self-doubt. Existential Rawk^^^
lemme guess…. prince igor?
ug… I wouldn’t use that for mouthwash let alone drink it….
Worse – Kalinka. You can use it to cauterize festering open wounds. Without vodka – nothing make sense.
we have black flies(vodka dwink) and fosters…slowing down at the shop. probably close early on the morrow…2 days off. but the boy is leaving. sad proud ma rawk
I’m not gonna lie: the internet can be great for cultivating friendships. I got to know a lot of my current friends who I initially met in person because we’d talk and get to know each other over msn or whatever.
I met a ton of great people when I was in Quebec, but unfortunately none of them live in halifax so it’s usually FB chat or msn to keep in contact.
And one of my good friends is someone who I met online — we went to the same university and didn’t know each other until we posted on the same message board and was introduced via an 8 way msn chat and we just clicked and have been good friends ever since.
Most of my friends, actually are in far off places and without the internet I would’ve lost touch for sure. So A++, zZz for meeting new friends from the bitch board 🙂
it’s true… sometimes it does work wonders. Even if they know you as the crazy dude who condones cats fucking babies and eating plump people in a nuclear bunker.
What ever happened to Blavod? I can’t find it anywhere and I loved that stuff….
i have never physically met anyone here, unless you came into the shop and didn’t identify yourself. i know what zZz looks like from a picture, and i can guess what some of you might look like. youse guys are my sanity savers. like pk most of my friends don’t live here but i would be adrift in a sea of banality without the bitches…grateful snorting^^
Without giving away more than your are comfortable with Painey, is it Uni or employment opportunities? I remember how glad I was to get out of Debert to come to college here. Completely oblivious to my Mom’s sadness like the self absorbed little prize I was. They decided to quit smoking after I left in September (thanks shitloads guys, hack hack >: ) and wouldn’t visit for about 6 weeks because of the withdrawal. Is the lad going to be close enough to come home for long weekends of good home cookin’ with big bags of laundry. (Again, drawing upon my own experience). Wistful, Empty-Nest Rawk.
he is off to ontariariario for school, but i have old friends who will keep him fed on sundays…he has wanted to leave this burg since he was eight. he is most upset that he can’t take his drum kit…i will miss that sound…better than the squeaky sounds of violin from gr.3 to 9…sigh
In the early 80’s after I graduated and was living here my folks got their Germany posting. 3 Xmases spent apart. They used to have young officers who couldn’t get home to Canada over for turkey, smashed taters and punkin pie. Their apartment was essentially the attic of a bungalow, a real German efficiency unit with sloped ceilings. The bathtub was 2 feet long and 4 feet deep with a step to sit on. How Mom cooked for 12 in a kitchen the size of a broom closet is beyond me.
haha, me ma made a turkey dinner with all the trimmings on a small sailboat…she had many adopted/bastard children when we left home. ma’s rawk
Ah…painmom…staring empty mest syndrome right in the face. That’s a tough transitional phase I’m sure is worse on the moms than the kids. I get pangs of missing my spawn in the childhood stage, the sweet child-voice and all those mother-child years. The toughest part is when there are several provinces between us and them. You know what they say though…(cue drums)’good things gro-o-ow in Ontar-eye-o’:) Rawk on painmom!
paingirl knows what i look like too, she thought i was a “cute little thing” i guess i should get out the more realistic pics of frazzled bedraggled hair after nights of being up with the kids haha
Then I can call you “Sir” in good conscience, right >; )
thanks ol, sorry vot i forgot…and you are right some cute^^my hair is always bedraggled, i was thinking of rawkin some dreads…bad idea
This is going to be a historic weekend. For the first time since he was elected president Bill Clinton is NOT going to invoke Primae Noctis at a wedding to which he has been invited.
So basically, if you don’t like it here go find someplace else? What a lovely and constructive suggestions. Morons.
Oooh PG: what do you think PK looks like????!!???! I’m curious!
short with little feet and nice teeth and hair^^^