I hate men. Why am I telling you this? Because I am angry. I like to think I’m a nice person (for the most part), and that I deserve a nice, attractive, ambitious guy. But no. I always get the “I’m not looking for anything serious right now” guy, who then turns around and shacks up with the generic, princess/high maintenance/diva chick. Mind you, I’m not one of these low self-esteem types that goes home and cries about it. I’m also willing to accept that maybe I’m not that awesome. Maybe there is some fatal flaw I’m not seeing, but I will tell you this: I know some really awesome chicks. Like really awesome. I have a friend that’s a bit older than me. In her 30’s, and has never found love. She’s beautiful, skinny (but not too skinny), has an awesome job, funny, smart, has lots of hobbies, isn’t a diva- a real catch yet no luck in love. I’ve even seen her with guys and she’s not doing/saying anything wrong. It worries me. Why is it that awesome, successful, independent girls are overlooked? Do I need to dumb myself down to be liked? I mean, regardless it’s not going to happen. A guy’s gotta accept me for who I am, but I guess I just wonder if that’ll ever happen. Will I be one of these “power women” in their late 30’s who has everything, but a man, and gets the constant judgment/disapproval from society? F***ing lame.

Oh and just in case you were wondering, I do have friends that are shacked up. The trend among many of my partnered friends is that they dating mama’s boys, the guy who always had his mom taking care of him and now his girlfriend does. Now all this said, I have friends that are the power couples. They hike volcanoes in South America. They share the load financially and domestically. They are everything a couple should be and more. They make me both extremely jealous, and also want to believe that that could be me one day. But how the hell does one attain this shit? When in doubt- personal development. I volunteer, I’m in a running group, I take every opportunity I can to be social and meet new people (guys and girls). I tell myself to keep busy and you won’t notice how angry and bitter and alone you are. Just be a good person and you’ll meet someone good when you least expect it. But I’ll tell you I am frustrated and impatient as hell. F*** men, and f*** you society for making me feel inadequate as a single woman. —Confused and Alone

This article appears in Jan 12-18, 2012.

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94 Comments

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  2. You could say the same things for many of the guys in this city as well. I have friends like yours, and I can relate to your post fairly well (except reverse the sexes)

    There’s always the dilemma of choosing whether to change in order to find love, or hoping that love will find you as your are. Personally, I support change, but not with the sole goal of making someone fall in love with you (that should happen naturally)

    Also, amazing people usually don’t want to ‘settle’, instead waiting for someone that they perceive would be an equal or better partner. There could be many opportunists passing you by, but if that person isn’t awesome enough, or you don’t take the time to give them enough credit, you could be missing out on a lot.

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  3. Yes. A lot of men are turned off by confident and strong women in the same way a lot of women are turned off by men who exhibit stereotypically “feminine” traits. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m saying this is my observation.

    Women like you and your friend will attract the best kind of men. Unfortunately there aren’t many of them. You’re comparing yourself to the “average” woman out there and trying to find your partner in the sea of “average” men out there.

    Don’t.. it’s really not worth it.

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  4. F*** men? NO, F*** YOU!!!!!! When in doubt, blame the men. Maybe there is something wrong with you. Don’t blame someone else. You said they always say they aren’t in it for something serious? Well, ask yourself, what did I do that made them back away? Did I talk about wanting kids? Cause some men shy away at the talk of kids.
    My point is, don’t blame somebody else until you actually know the reason.

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  5. and speaking of “power couples’ you sound like a “power dater”. I mean, yo! You are SERIOUSLY hardcore aggressive (at least judging from your bitch) about figuring out what’s wrong with the world in relation to your dating style and finding a partner that fits your dating style.

    NOBODY, man or woman, likes an aggressive hunter. Why not just take a breather? Chill out. And most importantly change your standards if you haven’t already. I’m not saying LOWER them.. not at all. But change them. Lots of guys have trouble finding girls for the same reasons you’re describing.. ish.

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  7. OB I’m sure you are what you say you are, All that and bag of chips, but maybe just maybe your a tad too fussy or picky. I dated a girl like this many years ago, she couldn’t relax or be content, bascially had to talk to hear herself talk, not a bad person but way too much to deal with. You will find it just stop trying so hard.

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  10. How fat PK? Like finding week old Cheetos in your fat folds or the lovable type fat that chubby chasers drool over? Either way….I’d give you the old rub and tug…if you catch my drift.

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  11. ——-
    ***k men
    ——-

    A big example Of why you’re single. Guys don’t find bitter women attractive. I know I don’t.
    Finding a lasting love isn’t a matter of BE this, DO that, and it WILL happen, happily ever after. It’s a long procesd of getting to know yourself, what your strengths and weaknesses are, and learning to love yourself first.

    The big thing I learned is it happens when it happens. One sign of your true character is how you are in these “dry spells” and how you are with the ones that don’t work out.

    Be patient. If it happens, it happens. If not, enjoy the journey and share yourself freely, ready for The One. Otherwise a great guy will see you as a bitter pile of hurt and pass you by for someone with their shit together.

    In my humble opinion.

    Wpaul

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  12. So much wrong with this bitch. You hate men, but want one. You’re considering changing into the type of girl you seem to detest, to atract the type of guy you don’t like? Huh?

    As far as the age thing goes, is falling in love by 30 manditory or something?
    Don’t rush it. Tick, tick…

    It takes brains, to appreciate brains.
    It takes maturity, to appreciate maturity.
    etc.

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  13. You said you’re 52% sure of who I am… who do you THINK I am — email me at prettykittylady@gmail.com. I WANT TO KNOW OK?

    And no, I don’t find week old cheetos in fat folds, and I DO wear regular sizes (no plus sizes), but that’s deceiving because I’m apple shaped.

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  14. PK you never said no to the rub and tug….so I’m assuming you’re down for it. We’ll need butter, apple martini lube, and bread crumbs.

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  20. miss kitty is one of those women i would switch batters for^^you sound very frustrated op, hating men won’t help you. perhaps more visits to this sandbox, would be beneficial

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  23. i would find it difficulty hating men…i hate you bear, boy, dad, brother. big paint brushes work quickly but can be very messy

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  24. Hating men won’t help, you’re right on that on PG. Sometimes I’m sad I’m alone, but I’m not ‘bitter’ about it. It’d be nice to have someone around at times, but I have so much more going on in life that I’m not going to crumble into pieces if I don’t have a ‘man.’

    And you can email me if you want, dartmouthy 🙂

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  25. Such a shame that you feel a man is necessary to complete your life. Maybe if you liked yourself better and stopped trying so fucking hard, you’d have more success. This post isn’t exactly brimming with self-confidence.

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  26. Well OP that is the mystery of the universe. That is why so many books and movies sell on the subject. I think men say they want independent, strong women but some of them become intimidated by them soon after they get them. So many times I see men pick the girl that has issues and less going for them. Sometimes single women make their lives look so wonderful they think that will attract the perfect man. They run, they go to the gym, they have money of their own, they travel, they really just don’t need a man and make it known. The problem I think is that men need to be needed it is in their DNA. If your life looks like there is nothing they can do for you they are not attracted. They need a purpose. Even though you claim you only need men to enter your perfect life and enjoy the perfectness of it. They don’t want perfect. They need to see you Vulnerable. I know for strong women that is hard to even pretend but no one’s life is perfect so stop trying to attract a man to perfect. They will be more attracted to truth they need to contribute to something more than perfection because no one can match that quality. That would be intimidating. Just my thoughts as I go through the same thing as you OP and so far that is what I have learned.

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  28. I agree with TTFN. You say “I’m not one of these low self-esteem types that goes home and cries about it.” But, it sure comes across like that’s exactly what you might be. Not only that, maybe you’re not giving some guys a chance because you think they aren’t up to your standards. I find it’s better not to judge someone until you know them. You could be missing out on your Mr. Right.

    PK- I’ll fight you for Dartmouthy

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  29. “men need to be needed” – Actually Robyn, while that may be true of some people, it doesn’t apply to a lot of guys.

    Me for example, I want a woman who wants me, not a woman who needs me.

    BTW, smart, independent women are damn sexy.

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  30. Stop this “looking for love” nonsense and you’ll be surprised how less stressed you’ll be. Nobody wants to hang around with someone who’s on the hunt unless they’re needy and desperate themselves, and you don’t want those people. What’s so bad about going about your life solo? Humans are perfectly capable of living a life without being tethered to someone.

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  36. ——-
    men need to be needed
    ——-

    I’m with my man Hugo on this.
    I don’t “need” a woman to complete me. I really do enjoy building a relationship with an awesome girl though.
    I do “need” human relationships. All kinds.

    And I think in general some of us need to cast a wider net as to what we want. Variety is pretty sweet, and you can be very pleasantly surprised by, say, the sweet-smelling guy in the chair.
    Just sayin’!

    Wpaul

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  39. I have these feelings sometimes too, OP when I see women fall for the dumbest, douhchiest, most selfish, clueless and downright disgusting men. I think “Really, ladies? This is what you want? A caveman with a 10 word vocabulary who can’t keep his dick in his pants? Should I just go and buy a bunch of skin tight v necks and a gallon of hair gel, and laugh at all your jokes to make you feel like I care? Should I just never disagree with anything you say, even if that means I’m not listening to anything you say? Or maybe I should just give you my backbone and balls and lick your ass and do everything you tell me to, even it completely compromises my manhood.” I could go on and on but you get the picture.

    But it’s their loss. I’m not interested in dumb bitches who don’t know what’s good for them and stay in stupid relationships because they’re too chickenshit to go out and demand better for themselves. Or girls who don’t know the first thing about how to pick a man that’s good for them, or at least not totally detrimental and toxic. A lot of these people who are in a rush to find someone end up fucking miserable. I try to shy away from those people, maybe that’s what’s happening to you? I’ll be 25 in June and I swear some of my female peers make it sound like we’re knocking on death’s door. People confuse being an adult with being “old”

    I’ve been in a few relationships and I think I’m a damn good boyfriend, but I’m kinda picky about what I want, and a lot of the qualities I look for are hard to find. I’d rather live alone forever than live a lie. I really mean that. When I think about it, being old and alone and free really doesn’t sound that bad to me. I know a lot of men say this but I really DO want an independent woman with her own life who doesn’t need my attention 22.5 hours per day. That right there eliminates like 75% of women in my age range. And I DON’T want to feel needed, like so many people. I want to feel appreciated, I want to feel like my gf would be fabulous without me but CHOOSES to be with me. Not because she is somehow dependent on me, or because she thinks I’m the best she can do, or because she’s “comfortable” but because she actually enjoys me and how we compliment each other. This is hard to find because, you guessed it, a lot of these women prefer to stay single, maybe because they find the average dude isn’t secure enough to handle them.

    So really it comes down to the good ones are hard to get, even harder to keep, especially if you’re not doing enough to separate yourself from the pack.

    It’s not fuck men or fuck women, the sad truth is that people are so fuckin selfish these days that the vast majority are no good for anyone. There are so few examples of successful relationships that people think dysfunctional, unhappy relationships are the norm and don’t put in the effort it takes to be the best partner they can be.

    Look, people can smell that victim mentality a hundred miles away, and nobody finds it attractive.

    I won’t give you advice but I’ll say this.

    I think one thing that a lot of women lack is approachability. You could be the most beautiful sexy, successful woman on earth, if you’re not smiling and outgoing people won’t want to approach you. And don’t be afraid to approach a dude either! Some (insecure) guys might get turned off by this, but fuck them anyways. A secure man will appreciate the initiative (and the luck! lol).

    In parting I will say that finding love is not a guarantee. That’s what bugs me so much about people’s approach. It’s not something to be taken for granted, or to feel entitled to, if it happens for you then great, but if it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. I think something is wrong with those people who are always chasing love or trying to fall in love, or thinking that kinda liking somebody is love. Basically got the tuxedo and ring picked out already, just looking for a man, any man that can fill that role. That’s what a lot of people in relationships are theses days, delusional. You know what you want OP, so don’t settle for less! Get to know someone before jumping in a relationship and truly BE (not just act) happy with yourself. If you don’t do that the rest doesn’t matter.

    Props to anyone who took the time to read that, even if you hated it lol.

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  40. lol, Painey, I was thinking of wookin’ po’ nub, too!

    OB, here’s my 2¢

    •There was a time in my life when I was bitter—when my mum called me on the phone to say “Turn on your TV! Oprah’s doing a show on beautiful women who can’t get dates!”
    •There was a time in my life when I realized that my ‘type’ of guy (tall, dark hair, broad shoulders, nice car, independent income) had done absolutely nothing for me, and it was time to find a new ‘type.’
    •There was a time in my life when I decided to stop looking for a life partner and cobble together a life from its components. I lived in a big farmhouse with other people, and turned cougar/depended on pity fucks to get by sexually.
    Then, surprise! I met Aesop… Just when I’d given up looking. Not saying this is where you are or what you should do…oh, wait—here’s a tip you can use! Do you like beer? You should try brewing your own. Guys who brew tend to be really cool, and there’s a brew club in Hali, the brewnoses. Aesop brews and his brew club is loaded with cool, geeky guys.

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  41. I’m going to throw in with my Bro Tim on this one. For someone who doesn’t like being judged by society OP certainly has handed down some sweeping verdicts from “the bench” And for someone who doesn’t want to be pigeon-holed she has the jargon of social taxonomy down pat. In fact, she sounds a lot like Ms. 10K Runner from yesterday.
    Helpful Hint: a weekly teaspoon of fresh lavender in your pot pourri masks the smell of cat crap, quite nicely.

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  42. I would have to agree. I can’t stand the downtown skanks who want nothing but attention and for guys to drool all over them. I don’t want to be like that and I’m fine the way I am. I think I’m attractive, funny and smart just waiting for the right guy who’s not a total douche.

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  43. “f*** you society for making me feel inadequate as a single woman.”

    Give me a break. No one can make you feel a certain way but yourself. If you were as awesome as you claim to be you wouldn’t think that way.

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  44. First off, I am fat and not single PK!! Also, when I was single I enjoyed a healthy dating lifestyle and had a blast.

    Secondly, if you are looking at your single friend and dont think she is doing anything wrong, you are both doing the same thing wrong but cant identify it in yourselves.

    Thirdly (third?ly?) try being less agressive, read Patty from the Millionaire Matchmakers book. Or “Act like a lady, think like a man” by steve harvey. Dont sleep with guys right away. That helps too.

    Be yourself as well – dont be a half truth and then surprise them 10 dates in by unleashing the crazy bitch in you.

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  45. OB.. It is my opinion that either you are being too passive in your approach, or you are shooting for the stars when it comes to the kind of guy you want. And as far as your awesomeness is concerned- well, how awesome you are is up to you.

    Most of the available men in this city are, well, in between mediocre and desirable. They are the bread and butter of this city and won’t necessarily turn heads when they walk by a crowd. But you know what? They are the ones who will end up making you feel more beautiful than you ever imagined. The ones who appreciate simplicity but find a way to make the biggest deal out of even the simplest things. So with honesty- just what kind of man have you set out in your search to find? Nice/ambitious- there is plenty of that. But when you say attractive, just how high do you set the bar?

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  46. ho’ de do’ Tommy! (hold the door)

    You really don’t know what it’s like to be a single woman, and while I don’t want to lay it on too thick oppression-wise, there is a difference between being a single woman and being a single dude in today’s society. Who was it who said a couple of weeks ago that she feels sorry for single women? Remember how I recounted how I was seen as some sort of predatory man eater? Does any one ever pity you or mistrust you around his girlfriend because you’re single? I’ll just let you reflect upon this for a moment.

    I do agree with your previous post (I liked it right away!) but I feel I must correct this apprehension of yours. Standing to pee is just the beginning, not the whole story and don’t even get me started on the gender tax.

    Love ya, though, young Thomas. Like so many of us oldsters on LLWWB, you’re like the white son I never had…

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  47. i’m not sure if this ob was looking for advice, that other one got all riled up…anyway, lots of good useful/rants…thomas, we need to have a summit, for your sake. love your avatar, nolies…my pa always says that

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  48. ..so you’re look’n for a metrosexual type..that wants a long term thing..the words .needle and haystack come to mind 🙂

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  50. That was a really great post, Thomas.

    I totally get what you’re looking for and I don’t think it’s something limited to the ladies. I think it’s just a people thing. I’m quite independent and I’ve always been the type who can amuse myself and the problem in past relationships involved my significant others wanting an all consuming relationship. That’s just not who I am. There are times when I just want to do my own thing and I don’t feel that not seeing a significant other every single day is a bad thing and I’ve always ALWAYS said that there’s really no point to being with someone ‘just because.’ I have so many friends who do this. They break up with someone and the next day they’re with someone else. They can’t function outside of a relationship and it doesn’t matter who’s there to fulfill that role. I’d rather be single than be with someone ‘just because.’ You should be with someone who compliments you — who you enjoy being with and who has similar views on relationships.

    And you can be damn sure I don’t “need” a man for anything. I think you make an excellent point, Thomas, when you mention “need” and “appreciation.” I don’t want to be needed, either. I just want someone who appreciates me and vice verse.

    It just seems like there are so many women who can’t function without a man. And that’s sad. I might get sad and lonely being single sometimes, but really, it’s not the end of the world. I have much more going for me than to base my life around being with someone. I wouldn’t’ve been on my own as long as I have if I thought otherwise — I’ve HAD offers, but nothing that really appealed to me. I can wait, and if it never happens, well, I still have my career, great friends and family, my intelligence, talents, and hobbies and interests.

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  55. You’re making your own self feel inadequate. Ask yourself, what is a man going to do for you? Save you? From what? Yourself? Make you feel less lonely? Many married couples are the most lonely people. You can be with someone and still be lonely. Atleast you’re not trapped in a marriage, like some… atleast you aren’t depending on a man for security. There’s a lot to be said for single women. Men are intimidated by chicks that aren’t needy and co-dependent. They feel threatened if their woman earns more money and has a better job. Do you want to sell yourself out and dumb down and pass on career opportunities just for a dude – No. The power couple you speak of, may look good in the pretty pics. Them hiking mt. everest together oooh… him pushing her on a swing…oooh. Him rubbing her baby bump…ooooh. What you don’t know is the power man of this power couple is sleeping around on her. She is probably stuck home with the kids while he’s off runnin. Hun, nothing is perfect.

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  56. lol touchee Zilla.

    Xeno.. I don’t claim to know what it’s like to be a woman, single or otherwise, all I said is that “society” can’t “make” a person feel a certain way. I for one don’t look down on the type of “power women” that OP speaks of for example. So what if they’re single? Good for them I say! This stigma is in large self perceived. I think she’s the one who has the problem with it so she puts it on everyone else. Society doesn’t make her feel inadequate, she makes herself feel that way.

    I don’t do men/women arguments anymore, new years resolution 😉 lol

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  57. It’s posts (and and some responses) like these that put me in mind of something that the old sage of manhood once said: “I’m a man….But I can change….if I have to….I guess.”
    -The man’s prayer, Red Green.

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  58. ——-
    Aesop
    ——-

    You rule, Xeno. I’m glad you’re here.

    Tommy: great Long Fucking Post, You Asshole.
    Lots of good info. I usually “tl:dr” wen I see those. You hit a lot of good points.

    Avast: “shake and bake”?
    (fapfapfap)

    It’s the “need” that makese feel weird too, Treehouse Gang. I find confidence sexy, and the older I get, the more confidence *I* get. Which is weird, given my disfigurements (being honest- please don’t see this as me fishing for a compliment). The more I know myself, the more I know I’m a good man for a lucky woman. My gf is pretty awesome too, and I’m having the greatest time not feeling in a rush or anxiety. Just hanging and spending time.
    No “need”, but lotsa “want”.

    You feel me, Treehouse Gang?

    Good work here today, people.
    See you tomorrow(punches out).

    Wpaul

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  59. Good GOD I hope work picks up tomorrow. Today’s been sloooooooooooooow.

    As much as PK loves LTWWB, even she has her limits.

    Summit soon, guys? Or even a mini summit with a select few? I need some face-to-face bitching with some select bitchers. 😛

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  61. I take it I won’t be invited to a face to face meet. Too bad….I really wanted a stab wound from tommy.

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  64. oh me oh my, another man hater. well darlin, who can really blame you, what with all the douchebags running around, shooting cum at anyone that will except it.
    jebus, that was strange, even for me to write.guess i must be getting senile or something. can’t be the grass, cause it is frozen just now. i know, this has to be kitty writing this bitch. we all still loves ya missy.

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  67. Well, there was that incident where PG put me in a headlock while TTFN worked my ribs, Colonel, but that was peacefully resolved.. as in I paid their fee and promised never to disrespect them again.

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  69. Oooh oooooh oooooh pick me! pick me!

    GAHHHHHH.

    Hay guys. It’s like. But then it was. And I was all. But then it wasn’t. And I was all WTF? So much that I had to take a moment. And there was jaw dropping. AND OMG LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME SOMEONE GIVE PK SOME LOVE YOU KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE. *FACEPALM* do it already. DO IT.

    Yes, I’m as confused as you guys are right now, but I promise I’m not drunk or on drugs.

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  70. I’m down for a summit! And I don’t think you’re as confused as me PK… what’s happening!!?!? I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT.

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  71. Jesus, I hate being a nighttime poster. Seventy comments on this topic already most of which have eloquently covered any points I was going to make.
    If you are all you say you are OP, you do not need a man to “complete” you. (five “you”s in that sentence). Be yourself, follow your interests and maybe you’ll bump into that man you’re looking for.

    On a side note, what the hell was that last post about PK? Explanations are needed.

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  72. A post-feminist wunderkind named Kitteh
    Valued learning over “Sex in the Citeh”
    A coterie of older male friends
    sought to make humble amends
    For picturing her undraped,superimposed,horizonteh.
    >; )

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  73. Hahaha Bravo, Colonel, Bravo. Also, I think PK’s blood sugar level is incredibly low/high. 😛

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  74. HAHA, sorry, guys, I was a little stressed last night and lamenting over unimportant things and unimportant people. It was all just a jumble of things rumbling around in my head.

    Hay, is it just me or are people kinda… in weird moods today? I’m tired as frig, my tummy hurts and I spent most of last night convincing bell I actually did pay my cell bill so they really need to fuck off with their outgoing call restriction, and I’m STILL pretty up beat….. meanwhile, everyone else seems so….. not quite cranky…. but… y’know.

    Also, Ivan, you’re AWFUL! But don’t restrict that to older menz. THERE ARE YOUNGER ONES THAT ARE DOING THE SAME THING TOO.

    Why are all these menz coming out of the woodwork now that I”ve decided to give them up for a year?

    *sigh*

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  78. Kool Vastie (lovin the new moniker, by the way) Any truth to the rumour that Achmed the Dead Terrorist is doing an episode of “Little Mosque on the Dreary” when he’s up here?

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  79. Sounds like a case of another stuck up woman with unrealistic expectations of what her “perfect man” is, and getting jilted when she doesn’t find what she wants right away. Believe it or not, if you have the expectation that A guys “gotta accept me for who I am”, then you may have to reciprocate that sentiment. You are the type of woman I have little sympathy for. I have lots of attractive lady friends, and the amount of men they turn away is unbelievable, citing that all of them are not good enough. Well guess what honey, guys are not lumps of dough to be molded into some cookie cutter vision of YOUR perfect boyfriend, solely based on some ridiculous law of first attraction. The problem is you are shallow and jealous, looking at what other people have and stewing about not finding all that and more, not realizing that that may not be what you want at all. Look deep inside and figure out what you want, it may not be anything any of your friends have.

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  80. Thanks, Ivan. Did you ever just have some silly, random song pop into your head for no apparent reason and get stuck there? And no matter how hard you try or what you did, there is no getting rid of it? Yeah….hence the new moniker lol. I’m not even, what you’d call, a fan of Marty Robbins, let alone remember the last bloody time I heard the song…but yet….”BOING”…there it is, playing back on continuous loop in the immense open, empty spanse that is my brain. (I’m about ready to drop- kick Felina at this point; stupid whirling bitch!)

    Really looking forward to tonight. And I know, to some, they’re asking why on earth would you want to go see some guy talk with puppets? This ain’t Sesame Street! But, after seeing his videos and damn near pissing my pants laughing at him, tonight should be a good time indeed. As for Achmed doing an episode of Little Mosque, I haven’t heard as such. But it would seem that CBC may have taken a page of Achmed’s book with regards to the show: “Silence! I CANCEL you!”

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  81. Happens to me all the frickin time. And, sociopathic little man-child that I am, I replace the lyrics with images of such shocking depravity that common decency forbids me from relating them here.

    As far as the Ceeb is concerned – we can only hope. I don’t know what that big steamy pile of tax dollars needs to make it even vaguely tolerable – a big sweaty Greek collecting logs or perhaps a German Shepherd who solves crimes….

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  83. Who remembers the ep. of TPB where Ricky’s sitting in the shitmobile ,at night, watching “Littlest Hobo” and singing along to the theme. Still makes me tear up (for realz)

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  86. >: ) When things at Dunder-Mifflin are getting a bit too nutty, I walk around the warehouse talking to my Conky finger-puppet. Lets the bosses know it’s time to ease up a bit.

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  88. God Dammit Avast, somethin might be goin around! I can’t seem to shake Hotel California from my brain! I don’t even know the words!! Agh, sometimes it switches to “We Built This City on Rock n Roll” someone needs to make a pill for this.

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  90. On a dark desert highway
    Cool wind through my hair
    Warm smell of colitas
    Rising up through the air

    Up ahead in the distance
    I saw a shimmering light
    My head grew heavy and my eyes grew dim
    I had to stop for the night

    etc etc….classic air guitar song, right there! But, to somehow morph it into Starship….well that’s just fucked TJ. You need help man. For real. 😛

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  91. lol…awww, poor Painy…..sorry hun.

    “First I was afraid, I was petrified
    Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side…….”

    Oh shit! Wow, where did that come from? Sorry PG.

    “We are fam-i-ly. I got all my sisters with me…”

    Damn, there it goes again. I can’t seem to control it.

    “Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl
    Yellow flowers in her hair and a dress cut down to there…..”

    Ah shucks! I don’t know what to say, Painy. I can’t make it stop. I’m so very sorry. :P:P

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  92. OMG Vastie, I’m going too!

    I got free tickets. And beer. Free beer too.

    And that’s all I can disclose.

    Awwww, Donk!!! You’re so sweet 🙂 Come say hi next time, Missy!

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  94. Love Walter. He says things everyone else is afraid to say. If you disagree – “I Keeel you”

    Summit, summit, summit. I will make sure no work or airport.

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