I realize I am a female in her 20’s. I realize this makes me a target. That does not mean, however, that when I express my desire to travel the world on my own, you need to remind me about how I’ll get raped, robbed, and murdered. The world is a dark and scary place, but come on. I am an adult now and know better than to talk to/make eye contact with strangers, hang out in dark alleys, and carry anything in a purse.
I’ve shown you my research, my plans, my budget, my goals, and what I plan to do in given situations (not that any amount of planning can keep from something bad happening, it helps any way). Now leave me alone and let me learn from my own mistakes.
Thanks.
—lady nomad
This article appears in Mar 19-25, 2009.
I had the same hassle when I hitchhiked from province to province back in the 70s. You can’t reassure those who think the worst will happen so don’t even bother trying. My mother would go totally apeshit just before I’d leave but it didn’t stop me. I used to have to listen to how my body would be found in a ditch one day, yada, yada, yada. Just go, always be on the alert and, most of all, enjoy your adventure!
Watch the new movie in theatres “Taken” . You might re-think your desire to travel alone.
I’m in my late 20s and my mother STILL lectures me when I go out after dark. I have a night class and she insists on picking me up and driving me home after class instead of taking the bus. When I go OUT after dark and mention to her (stupidly mention) I’m going out she grills me on how I’m getting home. She also goes on and on about “watching my drink.” I finally have to remind her of how old I am and give her a nice “fuck off, mom” comment. She cares, but c’mon! It’s come to the point where my dad keeps telling me to keep my mouth shut and not tell her this stuff and just say what she wants to hear rather than the reality of the situation. How sad is that?
So I feel your pain, OP, but if we all listened to some people’s opinion on the subject we’d all lock ourselves in our houses all the time. The world is a scary place, but damn. Take proper precautions, sure, but no one can live their lives around what ‘might’ happen.
Go on your trip and tell naysayers to suck it, OP.
no one can or should lock themselves up in their houses to avoid what may be. male or female. however OP i think that the “talk to strangers” thing doesnt really apply these days.
im not saying you will get raped, or beaten in your solo travels. i would say however that your loved ones are concerned that one of the mistakes might be more than a life lesson. find a travelling partner.
I’m too much of a sissy to travel alone at night, every step I take my heart is in my throat. Word of advice: do not watch horror movies that terrorize women. They put sick thoughts in your head and turn you neurotic. Travel easy young one…
Time for The Coast to have a ‘Do not visit’ section. Pakistan would be #1 on my list.
John: I would live to find a travel buddy, but there is no one! My SO can’t get out of work/school, friends are all in Uni and can’t afford it, and I don’t have any family left except for a sister who owns her own business and has no employees. So.. who is supposed to go with me? Besides, I’ve got friends of family not far from where I’m going, so if times get rough, I have some place to run at least. As well as the fact that I don’t drink or party and have connections to all-female hostels, convents, and hotels, I’m feeling pretty confident.
Finally, I think comparing things to movies is silly.. Its all hype and a well thought out story line. Things in movies happen often, but not often enough to bring the tourism industry to a halt.
Hell, I’d be your travel buddy if I wasn’t so tied up right now. I’m in the mood to hit the road.
I disagree Joeblow, either Bangkok – Thailand or North Korea would be my Numero Unos.
well nomad, at least you do have some course(s) or action should things go wrong.
and if i believed in movies; after watching the hostel, turistas, the ruins and others. id never travel. number one no go destination right now for me would be mexico border towns.
If your travel worm does get the best of you, promise me you’ll bring a taser and wear a backpack that says ‘don’t fuck with me’ painted on, just in case.
Just use common sense. If it’s overseas travel you’re hankering for, stay out of countries where women have little or no rights. And, oh, yeah, always know where the Canadian Embassy is. If they’ve burned it down, you might be in shit.
Funny – I haven’t seen any recent headlines that read: ‘RAPES INCREASE 75% MIMICKING BOX OFFICE HORROR HIT’ lately.
True – however I did recall one story of a boy who idoled Jason and took a chainsaw to his ex-girlfriend. Not savory. I suppose with the choice of watching horror films one has to double check their consciences before hand.
Another high risk country I advise steering clear from: Saudi Arabia. Saudi women have no rights WHATSOEVER.
Absolutely go for it! I spent a few months in South America recently and met tonnes of women travelling on their own. Other than things like local children being overly fascinated with blonde hair, I don’t recall any of them having a bad experience. The difference between the safety of men and women travelling on their own is miniscule – there are simply things you should and shouldn’t do, regardless of sex.
A lot of places in the world seem really sketchy when you see them on TV or in pictures, but when you actually visit them, it’s a total different experience. Like you say, exercise common sense and try to know enough about the culture/language/people that you don’t make life unneccesarily hard for yourself. Sure there are some hazards, but there are just as many different ones right here at home.
I’ve had some of the greatest experiences, and met some of the greatest people of my life while travelling. The fact that you’re even considering it means that you’ll probably love it. Don’t let anyone or anything scare you off. Put your research and plans into motion!
Do it up, enjoy the world and be safe. Stay in the right places and follow your instincts.
Saudi, is OK except for the ‘women issue’. It is not as volatile as Pakistan, parts of India (in the north). Bombay was OK until the terrorists went nuts; India could be dodgy for any visitor (tensions between different religions)but in general I found them gentle people, except when you need them to not be gentle. Bangladesh, monsoon season is a bad time to be there – rains like hell and floods rapidly. Stay away from Sri Lanka until that mess is solved (Soon I hope). Yemen. Certain parts of N Africa have problems. Burma, or whatever they call it now. S Africa has quite a crime problem in the major cities and has stunning scenery at the coast and inland. Mozambique is OK, quite well educated people with very interesting history if you want to learn about slavery. Zimbabwe – very nice people with a deranged monster in charge. Trouble is the 60’s and 70’s there were few places to worry about. The nutbars were in certain locations and generally under control.Now the nutbars are all over the place. Don’t kid yourself that a Canadian flag will save your ass, you are a westerner and some people just don’t dig you. That is enough for now but I could list a lot more.
I did the European tour in the early 1980’s; people all thought I was insane for going alone, and all along the way, people wanted to hook up with me. That was fine, but on the whole I preferred going alone; no arguments about where to go, or how long to stay, and no one else’s fears getting in my way.
Staying home can be dangerous, too! And I have a funny story about two guys trying to rob me in Amsterdam. It would have been less funny if I hadn’t stopped them, but it still would have been a story! Don’t let fear (especially some one else’s) stop you from living your adventure!
Any animal knows there’s safety in numbers it just sometimes takes the young ones a while to figure this out.
Lady, when I was 18 crotch rockets were the thing… you know? Bikes designed to go 200 kph…? Are ya hearin’ me here? DANGER DANGER DANGER!!! My parents were appalled. I thought they were trying to control me and I hated that! I did what I wanted and survived! HA! …But you know… looking back, I realize how my life could have ENDED… just like that… in a moment… in a heartbeat… in a breath. I didn’t realize that until I was 30+ so listen to your parents and don’t be STUPID especially having such talent for forethought and planning. Don’t be STUPID. If you gotta go, at least make sure there’s someone there to “receive” you.
Safe travels.
I actually agree with kay…
Make sure to have at least one contact where ever you go, some local that knows the area and customs, etc.
There was this one guy hitchhiking that used his thumb to call for a ride – allegedly the thumb was like the middle finger here – a truck of men jumped out and beat the hell out of him. Cultural customs are a gift and a danger – know them well.
Thanks for all of your comments everyone!
Kay–I’d listen to my parents, but I don’t have any, they’re both deceased. I’ve sort of been a drifter more or less for the last decade. My friends, boyfriend, and sister are my safety net right now.
I don’t plan on going anywhere super crazy, the plan is to start out in London, train to lilles, paris, and marseille, and possibly, if I reach my budget goal, Rome. Rome is still in debate for me because I know the place is notorious for pick pockets and petty thieves.. Physical violence is almost unheard of there but everyone wants your stuff. I know London very well and I can speak french (even if it is a bit different then european french) so I won’t feel too freaked out in a french speaking country..
Anyway, hopefully it all works out for the best.
By all means go out and have some fun…. just don’t get in with the wrong people.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/worl…
I would definitely try to make it to Rome, even if it costs a little more money. Any major city, especially one with as many tourists as Rome, will have pickpockets. Keep important documents in a waist pouch thing, carry only as much cash as you can afford to lose and hold onto your camera/bag while on busses and trains (I’ve had two cameras stolen because I didn’t do that…).
And don’t worry too much about the language issue; don’t get me wrong, it’s good to know a little – say, enough to order at a restaurant – but I would never avoid somewhere just because I didn’t speak the local language.
Finally, it terms of travelling alone, it will almost certainly be easier than you think, especially in Europe. Staying at hostels, you’ll meet all kinds of great people and with any luck some of them will be going your way. It’s the kind of thing that snowballs, because once you know a few people, you’ll meet others much more easily. So you’ll technically be travelling on your own, but never a lonely traveller.
I think the most of these comments are positive, but some are way off base – the movie Taken? Crotch rockets? Chainsaw murders? And why would a first time traveller go to the middle east or the worst parts of Africa? Don’t try to scare someone from travelling by rambling off these ridiculous points – try offering something constructive.
Thank you mrman!
optimus–what a gruesome story. Thats the kind of stuff you think you’ll only have nightmares about!
I was all over England and a good chunk of Europe in my 20s, by myself. Particularly if you don’t drink, and you’re planning on staying in women’s hostels/convents, you should be just fine. Lonely Planet, Rough Guide, etc., all have useful practical tips for minimizing your chances of being a a target. Stay alert particularly around tourist attractions – that’s where you’re going to find most street criminals. Use a waist pouch. Travel with minimal stuff. And have fun.
Thank you Alisea and everyone for your support, I’m feeling a bit better about things. If things go on schedule I’ll have the funds for my plane ticket and train passes by the end of April 🙂
Thank you! I get the same reaction. It’s never “Oh good for you setting goals and having dreams!” It’s “This is a very bad idea, you need to go back to school and travel when you’re married and have children.” or some other shit. I want to travel. If I can’t get a travel buddy, then I’ll go alone! Stupid shit happens, but if you take the right procautions then it won’t. And putting those negative thoughts out there just increases the chances.
Its true, Darcinator.. The moment people start telling you about everything horrible that will happen, you become a paranoid wet blanket. I don’t know why you should wait to be escorted.. and on top of everything, how are you supposed to travel after drowning yourself in student debt? Or when you have kids and a husband/wife to work around? Its so much easier just to take off on your own when you have no commitments. Hell, I’m already done my schooling so far, and I paid for a it all myself, so I’m going to travel now before I get back to the educational grind stone.