To the woman who brought an infant to the movies on the weekend, your baby was fine. I thought I heard a little coo here and there, but nothing else. From the baby.
You on the other hand were an annoying twat. Here’s what I heard through the movie until my partner leaned forward and told you to be quiet:
WHOSABABY…WHOSABABY…WHOSABABY…ZUBBAZUBBAZUBBAZUBBAZUBBAZUBBAZUBBAZUBBAZUBBA…ASHUSHSUSHSUSHSUSHSUHSUSHSUSHSUSHSUSHUSHSUSHUS…WHASSAT? WHASSAT? WHASSAT? WHASSAT? WHASSAT. ISSAT A TOE? ISSAT A TOE? ISSAT A TOE? Who’s got the baby’s toe? MOMMA’S GOT THE BABY’S TOE!!! Who’s got the baby’s toe? MOMMA’S GOT THE BABY’S TOE!!! Ohhhhhhh….ZUBBA ZUBBA ZUBBA ZUBBA ZUBBA ZUBBA…
I could go on but I’m annoying myself. Next movie your baby is welcome but you should stay home. And I’m not a fan of babies so that’s a big thing for me to say. —The back seat shusher and boyfriend
This article appears in Nov 11-17, 2010.
AHHHHHH…I want to gouge my eyes out just from reading this bitch
Wow. That sucks.
Naw, babies are cool. It’s the people who talk to and about their babies that are annoying as shit.
Same with cats… cats are cool… but I hate it when people talk about their cats. Nothing anyone says about their cat or baby has any relevance or value to anyone else.
Oh snoop. You must abhor our kitteh chat here. :~)
You could’ve broadened the kids vocabulary by saying to the Mother in a babyish voice “who’s a noisy cunt then?”
i’m still laughing at the zubba whassat line. how’s freedom feel baz?
In a Yorkshire accent to boot, Baz. How’s life with 40 acres and a mule?
Morning Painey.
Freedom is good, early days yet of course, but it was nice to get up put the walking duds on and pound the rails to trails and watch all the poor folks driving in to work.
My next task is to complete my lifetime goal of getting cyrhosis of the liver – one beer at a time.
I got some really lovely bye bye prezzies, including one of those e-readers – the jury is still out on that.
Life is Good.
no watch? subscription to field and stream? mornin ivan
Beer on your cornflakes is cute – once, for bragging rights.
AN E READER! For fuck’s sakes. Thems the work o’ the devil, they is. Luddites unite and rally round the printed page >; )
Yes, I got a beautiful watch and 2 beer glasses from NS Crystal – a few fun things, and oh I almost forgot – a fucking nice retirement check !!!
yahoo for baz. go uol go
What a funny bitch! I couldn’t do that in public with my baby, i feel goofy enough trying to sing along to ‘rolly polly’ with all the other moms in circle time at play group. But i do it anyway because he loves my hideous off key singing voice.
Agreed, Ivan. My mom threatened to get em one for Christmas, I said no thanks. I love books!
Congrats, Baz – I’ve only got, er, 30 years or so left. Sigh.
She must not know about the “Reel Babies” Empire Theaters offer. A movie for Moms …or Dads… and their babies. They offer a regular adult movie (last week was Due Date), with the lights on low, sound down lower, bouncy chairs, bottle warmers, swings etc. in the front on the screen. So, at least, you won’t annoy anyone if your baby cries because everyone there has a baby and understands. It’s basically just to get out and in public. Great idea.
Maybe the mother has brain damage? Maybe the baby came out sideways.
And the saddest thing about this….the “baby” was actually a 5 lb bag of yukon gold potatoes wrapped in a blanket!!!!!
This bitch was awesome…I lol in tears almost! thank you OP.
And REEL babies is great! and it gives you something to do in the cold winter to get out of the house.
reel babies?
sounds like something you do when trying to catch a shark….
Empire Theatres…in Ontario it’s called Cina-babies….it’s just a once a month movie..shown in the middle of the day for parents and their newborns. The bring in a cart with bottle warmers and they keep the lights on just a little, and the sound isn’t earth shaking. You can sign up and vote every month which movie is shown. And as I keep going on I realize no one cares and I don’t work for the theatre so I will shut up now.
if the boy was still wee rc, i would find this info useful and well, it’s info afterall…bleep bloop
I was going to say, do they sponsor you or something?
you’re really pimping the babies…
What do you mean pimpin the babies?
Nah ralmn, your guys’ cat talk is okay because I can just not read it. But when you’re having an oral conversation with someone there is no escape! Although I’m getting pretty good at ending conversations by saying something really creepy and weird out of the blue.
“Mr. Tinkerpaws is so intuitive! He Always seems to know exactly when I’m going to be…”
“Did you know that dogs can smell your menstrual cycle up to 50 yards away?”
“…”
*walks away*
I saw the new Harry Potter and there were stupid parents who brought little kids. Then when the snake eats the woman and when Voldemort blows a hole in the person’s head the little ones went apeshit and disturbed the whole theatre for 10 minutes before the parents could get them out. How about a little research to see if the movie is age-appropriate, numbnuts?
Most people miss the marketing strategy that went into the HP series. The books/films were designed to follow the character’s growth from which follows that as Harry and his classmates have approached final year, the storyline has also grown from it’s inception with first year students. The stories are now aimed at the young adults who have followed the books/films since they were youngsters. Bringing young children to film made for an older audience is a good way to proclaim one’s ignorance.