My wonderful cousin, I love you dearly and absolutely love the fact that you are openly gay, especially within our specific community. However, you’re an attention needing nuisance. I can’t speak about my day, my life, a date I went on or anything with you! It’s like you don’t hear me and somehow always manage to go off about yourself and how wonderful you are. Secondly, STOP LYING. PLEASE STOP! I’ve never met anyone who tells as many lies per minute as you do. Do you honestly think people are stupid enough to believe you? Everyone just nods their heads and smiles because it’s easier to let you go on and on and on about yourself than put you in your place. However, I have put you in your place hundreds of times. For some reason it doesn’t work.

I would also appreciate it if you stopped telling horrible lies about your family. Nobody beats you. Nobody fucking told you that you can’t do this or that because you’re gay. Stop with this shit. They’re my family too and when you tell people bad (untrue) things about them, it often comes back to me.

Also, I don’t care if you like going downtown all the time and drinking. But, it frustrates me that I always make plans with you, and then at the very last minute you make up some stupid excuse along the lines of “I’m tired” or “I forgot I had to do this”. Don’t make plans with me if you have no intention of actually committing to them. OK?
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love you. We’ve been friends forever, I’m just getting really tired of your shit. I’m getting tired of trying to figure out what’s true and what isn’t and I’m getting even MORE tired of having to defend your shit. It’s all going to come back and haunt you one day. Karma is a BITCH. Please wake up already. —Your Favourite Cousin

This article appears in Jul 7-13, 2011.

Join the Conversation

13 Comments

  1. Reply

  2. OP, please reread your post and ask yourself just who it is precisely who needs to “wake up already”. Perhaps the person who ALLOWS this drama to darken their door. Only you can control just how much of a drama queen’s maelstrom is acceptable in your life. Or grow a pair and educate cuz on the facts of life i.e. liars and irresponsible oafs eventually end up alone wondering why no one wants them around.

    Reply

  3. Nope. The gay cousin needs to wake up and quit lying.

    OB, is your cousin named sebastian?

    Reply

  4. Good for you for actually putting them in their place. There are sooo sooo many compulsive liars are allowed to run rampant and not a soul says a thing to them. That’s all you can do and if they still don’t change, seriously ditch them.

    Reply

  5. Make your life easier — just avoid them, if they give you such grief. It is not ‘love’ to continue to enable them in making your life miserable. They likely will not start listening to your tales, stop their lying or suddenly stop making plans with you and breaking them. So unless you just enjoy carping about or to them, or ‘putting them in their place’ all the time, just drop them out of your life. Then you may really be a ‘favourite cousin’.

    Reply
  6. Reply

  7. just like the song, go your own way, o.p., go your own way. fuck your cousin or whatever, no one asked or told you to babysit their dumb ass.

    Reply
  8. Reply
  9. Reply

  10. I didn’t get that part either. Like who gives a flying fuck? I don’t have to love Ivan because he’s openly Russian.

    Reply
  11. Reply
  12. Reply

  13. OP, your cousin has issues, that’s for sure. Ditch them now. You don’t need that drama. Christ, even the gay community doesn’t need his drama. Suggest he move to Toronto where he’ll blend in with the rest of the mentally unstable ones. He sounds like an attention seeking whore.

    Reply
Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *