Know Your @#$%ing etiquette before golfing you beginners!

OP= DoucheCanoe.

You hit someone on purpose, you deserve the 3-Wood enema you’re going to get.

You sound like a heart attack waiting to happen.

OB, awesome bitch. Friends and I complain every year about those fucking morons who try to take up the sport but end up pissing off every seasoned golfer. We like to play tricks on the newbies….when they ask which way to the clubhouse, we direct them in the opposite direction. Telling them there is a shortcut through the woods works well too. Just try not to snicker too loudly.

i have found that golfers, are pretentious douchbags.

“I’m DEMANDING that you get out of my way before I smash my ball right at you….Move, because I am rolling through”
Fuck you, douche. They paid their green fees just like you and have just as much right to be there as you do. If they are slower than you, then golf etiquette states that they should let you play through. (Most courses will have this posted as part of their Course Rules) If they don’t, then politely point out said rule and ask them if you can. I have NEVER heard of or experienced anyone refusing to let someone play through so long as they were respectful about it. If, on the other hand you are shouting obscenities or even teeing off your ball knowing that they are well within range of your shot, I won’t feel sorry for you when you try to find your bloody chicklets in the grass after getting a 9 iron to the chops. You deserve it. Slow your roll, Dick. It’s not a race. Take the time to enjoy the scenery and peaceful tranquility of the course. It’s supposed to be a relaxing game, not the cause of an acute pulmonary embolism. I’ve had someone purposely take a shot at me before. So, I just picked up my ball and played theirs instead. They didn’t see me do it but I think they may have clued in not long afterward. Either way, they fucked off and left me alone.

“If you are ever LUCKY enough to leave a ball mark on a putting green, fix your damage. If I have one more of my putts miss because some beginner didn’t know proper etiquette, there will be hell to pay.”
Perhaps if you weren’t in such a rush to complete your round as you sound like you are, and actually took the time to line up your putt, you’d notice any debris and ball dents in your line. They’re pretty obvious to spot. Otherwise, fuck off. What are you going to do, chase me down and beat me up cuz you missed your putt? Relax there Fuzzy, you’ll live longer. It’s a GAME. Not life or death.
“This game called golf is a war. You and I are enemies. The course represents a battlefield…”
Last time I checked, golf wasn’t a contact sport and you compete against members of your own group, (two-some, three-some, four-some), not against all the other golfers on the course, unless you’re in a tournament. Boy for someone who claims to be the next Tiger Woods, (THERE’S someone to model your life after..*rolls eyes*) you really don’t seem to know much about the game.
“I am a better golfer than you, therefore I am a better person.”
Typical, shallow jock comment. Smacks of desparation, dude. You can’t hack it anywhere else in life but hey, at least you dominate the golf course. Yay you. Fucking loser.
If you really cared about the game and were as half as passionate as you claim to be about it, you should be purposely going out of your way and bending over backwards to encourage beginner and novice golfers to keep going. You should be happy that people have taken enough interest in the game to take it up as a hobby or even a passion. Instead, you berate them, intimidate them and insult them. Just remember, chump. You were once at their level of play. (Although I’m sure in your mind, you were a born natural prodigy). Fuck off and cut them some slack. Otherwise, go join a more exclusive club where only the truly talented golfers join. Or are you afraid the truth may come out and you’ll get your ass handed to you? Your tour card is in the mail. Until then, I hear Golf Town might be hiring.