It’s been about two and a half weeks since you walked out on me, taking with you my best friend, my family, my soul mate, my life. I can’t understand how I was so deeply committed to our future and life together I guess I was so wrapped up in it that I didn’t take the second to see that you weren’t. A three year relationship which was often filled with talks of marriage and children, however, the past couple of months a light went out in your heart and I was left all alone. After all of this all you could say was, “It’s me not you,” and “I still want to remain friends.” Really? Three years and this is the thanks I get for completely taking care of everything in our lives, doing everything for you. You didn’t lift a finger for the year and a half of living together, you know that I don’t take that arrangement lightly and you just up and left me behind. I’m completely lost and confused and so many things. I don’t understand how you can go on and act as though nothing has happened. You look at me and talk to me as if a cold hearted man has possessed you, as if you’re someone who never cared in the first place. I wanted and tried with all my power and heart to build a future, to help you get on track, would have supported you completely in order to go after whatever it was that you desired, and again, up and left at the blink of an eye. I’ve never been so disappointed. —Your B***h
This article appears in Aug 4-10, 2011.
When will people realize that they have ONE life…..nobody else can be your life. We are all singles in this world sharing/partnering with another single. Enjoy the good and manage the bad but be true to self and YOUR LIFE will be fantastic…I know mine is!
Jeesh, someone has dependency issues.
giving is living. don’t let this experience stop you from giving
Sounds like you were planning his life with wedding bells and visions of babies so he bolted. You sound very needy, OP – to say he was ‘my best friend, my family, my soul mate, my life’ indicates someone who is depending on another to make them whole. Your ex saw this and didn’t want to have that responsibility. Who could blame him?
Now it’s time to work on your self-esteem and learn to love yourself or history will simply repeat itself ad nasuem.
Koda’s got the right idea. OP it sucks… you can handle it one of two ways. I hope you don’t let your ex’s actions effect your life, because it’s yours. There’s really no advice or wisdom we can offer you right now except life goes on. I sympathize.
“to help you get on track” Been-there-done-that. In my experience relationships work better when both parties are already “on track”. Something to consider when jumping into the dating pool again.
Sounds like a one-sided relationship to me. You gave, he took. He also took you for granted and when the talk of marriage, in-laws, coupleship and babies started to sink in, it sounded like he might have to make some effort in the relationship so he took off.
It takes two people and a lot of work to keep a relationship going. If you are doing all the heavy lifting the relationship will not work to your satisfaction.
When he tries to come back and he will if he had it that easy, slam the door in his face. Do yourself that much of a favour.
Can i give you a harsh reality check? He wants to have sex with people that are not you. In fact, in the “past few months” he’s likely developed an interest in someone else and is too chickenshit to tell you the truth. He’ll likely get it out of his system and then return.
So when he does this, can you please, PLEASE shut the door in his face? Or better yet get a half naked boytoy to do it for you? Because if you let him come back now, this hot/cold shit will continue indefinitely.
Yes. It sucks. So forget about him.
I’m with TTFN & troodon4, kinda sounds like you’re the one who was talking marriage and kids.
http://www.omerfarukayranci.com/wp-content…
On the other hand, three years is a pretty big investment, too bad it didn’t end sooner.
He’s gone, the pain will take longer. Good advice above – don’t take him back. But if for some reason you do, make the fucker work for it.
You’d also do better in remembering that you are your own person, you are not defined by others. Get some self-confidence and realize you don’t ‘need’ a man, but it’s OK to ‘want’ one.
Going through a breakup with someone you clearly loved so much must feel like the end of the world but you can’t keep looking at the past. I know it’s only been 2 weeks or so but you can’t keep thinking “But I did this and this for you! How dare you leave me!” Don’t be doing things for someone if you’re going to keep track of it all, only to throw it in their face when they want to leave or if anything goes wrong. I fucking hated this about people and now try to keep everything as equal as possible. If you truly did something out of the goodness of your heart, you shouldn’t be expecting that they now have to stay with you forever or owe you something because you helped them out. The fact is simple; they don’t love you anymore. Some day (hopefully) you’ll realize this is juvenile and detrimental behavior and treat relationships differently.
-Dr. Mel jkk ;D
He’s fucking someone else and under no circumstances should you maintain a friendship with this guy. If anything, he’s just trying to keep you on the back burner. No matter how much it hurts you have to accept he’s not the guy you thought he was and this relationship is finished.
Make a clean break. No texts, you can’t be FB friends, do not hang out socially. Things will be difficult for a while but you will be better off for it in the long run.
Take all the advise from above and close the door on this relationship. You are only setting yourself for failure if you think he will change and come back to you. Don’t bother being angry, your energy is better spent elsewhere. Feel sad if you need to, but I stress don’t be angry, it takes way too long to fade.
Why would he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free.
Many guys will dump you and say they ‘want to be friends – the bastard’s just trying to keep you in reserve in case his dick needs servicing and his vacuum’s busted. Not only should you nail this particular door shut, you should assign some muscled-up lawn gnomes to guard it.
“Why would he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free.” That phrase frustrates me to no end … but that’s for another post I guess …
lol Why Donk..? Tell us why u mad! I wanna know. If for no other reason than I want somethin to read tomorrow at work. And I find the topic interesting. Milk that is.. so long as it’s free:P
Nobody gets the milk for free, imo.
People do change, by times…but don’t expect it.
Maybe he got tired of all the “OMG I LOVE YOU BABY SO MUCH YOU’RE SO WONDERFUL AND THE BEST PERSON EVER AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT YOU OMGOMGOMGOMG I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH I CAN’T BREATHE WITHOUT YOU!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOO <3 <3 <3 <3" messages on his facebook wall.
Move on.
Oh, honey…I’m so sorry for you. Your Auntie Xenophilia has been there–gosh, was it 25 years ago?
I want you to know that YOU WILL SURVIVE! In fact, If I had my exes’ address, I would write him a thank you letter: “Thank you for dumping me. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have gone back to college, changed my career, and met the man I am still married to. I would still be in the hotel industry following your sorry ass around the east coast…” You will look back at these years in just the same way honey, I promise. Just be lucky you didn’t waste any more years on the looser!
The sooner you move from sad to pissed off, the sooner you will get over the bum. Turn off the Bonnie Rait and Adele and make yourself a mix with songs like
• You had me, you lost me (Eve)
• son of a gun (Janet Jackson)
• I will survive (Cake)
• black T shirt (Ben folds)
• Only glad you’re gone (Kati Ingino)
• You Jerk (Kelley Rowland)
• Get Out (Macy Grey)
• Not Today (Mary J Blige)
• Really don’t want my love (Missy Elliot)
• Fuck off song (Reel big fish)
• some choice cuts from Alanis Morrisette,
• almost anything by Avril Lavigne.
I’m sure my fellow readers have some other choice cuts to offer!
Every Breath You Take – The Police
>; )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13mYOXESv18
This is on my motivational play list 🙂
Oh, Hugo, that’s a great song! I need to sing it in my car with the windows down and driving really fast.
the video takes me back, too: I once drove a Plymouth Satellite (faster than the speed o’ light!)
Pete Doherty’s ‘Fuck Forever’.
My milk cannot be taken away. It cannot be consumed. My milk shall not be bought or sold, it’s for the one I choose. My milk is not a trap, for making you commit. It’s certainly not a bargaining chip, exchange rates don’t exist.
He has my milk because I let him have it! My worth lies not in milk.
That …and I’m not a cow. Lolz
Moo!