The internet was great in the 90’s. What the fuck happened? Now it seems I can’t go online to do anything without constant pop-ups and annoying as fuck advertisements before every video I watch. The internet used to be a place where you could go to escape commercialism and all that shit that corrodes TV. You could stream a movie or song, go to any site with ease. But then the big-time corporations just had to stick their dicks into it and taint our once-beautiful sanctuary… Now ya gotta fight Adware, spyware, download this shield, install that blocker – it never fucking ends. I didn’t agree to install your shit software, where the fuck are all these programs coming from? This should be illegal! I’ve gone through 3 computers this year! Now you can’t even click the X (close) button on an advertisement without it secretly installing malicious shit on my beloved porn machine. Why must the Man ruin EVERYTHING that is holy and good? FUCK YOU and your unethical hijack-advertising methods. When I see your ads I will NEVER buy your products now, out of spite! —Another One Bytes the Dust
This article appears in Feb 9-15, 2012.
Oh no! We’ve lost a valuable customer!
yeah, watching video on dial-up was so much fun. What fucking sites are you on that you’re bomb-barded with distractions? I use most of the ones listed in the Coasts current issue and other than some annoying windows of online chats popping up once in awhile, I have unlimited video going off the hook.
man, you’re using some really cheapo porn sites….
get a credit card and wank to proper porn there cheapskate.
It’s not the internet’s fault you’re a dumbass.
You’ve gone through 3 computers this year … it’s Feb. 9th … I think you’re broken OP.
Hey OB, I’ll fix your computer for half the price of a new one.
Then I’ll show you where to get the proper anti-whatever programs, for a small additional fee of course.
a) Get a Mac
b) stop going on porn sites. Torrent the shit, less risky and better quality, that goes for sites that let you watch TV or movies on them too, a lot of them have spyware and bullshit that will eat your computer for breakfast. It’s just not worth it.
Download dude. If you’re scared of legal ramifications just delete it after you watch it, you know, in case the cops kick down your door.
Oh and also, don’t complain about the shit that comes along with getting free shit that cost someone lots of money to make, especially if you’re doing it wrong. Happy jerkin
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and taint our once-beautiful sanctuary
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Taint.
(giggles)
Wp
even i don’t watch that much porn to go thru 3 computers. holy fuck o.p., you must be spanking that fucking thing 20 plus hours a day. either that or cumming all over the tower or screen and keep blowig them up. try using a condem next time. or how about going out and finding a”gasp”, human female.
Why don’t you just wear loose clothing like jogging pants and then when you are out and about and see someone that makes you wet and twitchy, jump in a bush and wank it right there. It will be like 3D Hi-Def porn and you have less chance of catching a virus although a higher risk of getting grass stains on your pants.
Fuck porn. Before I started going out with my hunny, I wacked off whenever I heard neighbours in my apartment building having sex. I still do it every now and then. Whenever I hear a moan or furniture shaking from another unit and I’m alone, I pull out my dick and get ready…if it’s confirmed that it is indeed neighbours fucking and not a false alarm, a-wacking I goes.
When I was single I had a friend once who needed a roommate and one time he went on about his very active sex life. I saw an opportunity arise and told him “I’ll be your flatmate!” Always had something good to masturbate to. The cum stains in my bedroom during that time….
taint !
Isn’t that the little area of skin on the body that seperates the asshole from the vagina ?
You know it taint ass & it taint pussy
~8p
No, not taint. That piece of skin is a Gaziff, “gaziff it wasn’t there, we would have on big hole”…hehe
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?…
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/tainted
so tainted love has several meanings
Glenn, Glenn Quagmire, is that you?
http://ts2.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.as…
http://ts1.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.as…
http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.as…
Would this be one of those first world problems?
Didn’t your mother tell you that doing that would make you go blind?
Odd. I haven’t seen a pop-up or questionable program running on my computer in years.
My answer: stop using a PC!
(although even when I used my PC for internet, I didn’t get all that stuff. You’re not going to the wrong site. Or the so-called “The Man” is out to get you.)
Adblock plus + AVG antivirus + Ad-Aware = clean fast computer. And those programs are all FREE