There used to be a time when I could walk down Spring Garden Road and only have to contend with beggars and the inane ramblings of the Harbour Hopper tour guides, and that was fine. Now it seems there is a new problems on the streets though: Juggalos.
Yes, the face-painted followers of the Insane Clown Posse, are in the words of one of their hilarious songs “getting me pissed”. Every time I walk by a group (typically around Park Lane or the Public Gardens) they seem to be yelling nonsensically, cursing, smoking and in general looking ridiculous. Yes, no worse than any bar line-up on a given night, but I just don’t get their shtick. They all just look like a bunch of lost puppies that were abandoned by their owners for being too god-damn ugly.
Now besides my bigotry, my main point of this bitch is that they must be banned from congregating, in the name of public safety. Not that I think they will ever initiate any violence, but I fear one day myself or another like-minded Haligonian will walk by and keel over laughing at their ways. This may be enough to unleash the Juggalo fury, and the consequences will be dire. Until then, here’s hoping I don’t end up on a drunken tear and start asking them about miracles and how “fuckin magnets” work. —A Scientist
This article appears in Aug 5-11, 2010.
wow a juggalo, i googled it…well at least i learned something
I thought they were hanging out there to sell their “medicinal” pot?
Yup, something I did not need to know. Maybe we can promote an Extreme Octagon Deathmatch between them and the Hairy Fishnuts. Winners get to de-zombify City Hall. Losers get to swim back and forth across the harbor till they sink and become squid shit.
Put down the ethanol. That shit is the most potent narcotic known.
Do they actually have clown paint on?! I have to check this out and take some pictures. Or are they like vampires and don’t show up on film?
I saw some on SMU campus once digging in the ash trays for leftover butts.
scary clown paint mr. sodeypop, think sid haig
the only good jugaloo is a dead jugaloo 🙂
I hate clowns for reasons I won’t go into here, except to say that a man should never leave his wife alone when the circus comes to town.
I have three words for clown lovers: John Wayne Gacy.
FUCKIN’ MAGNETS, HOW DO THEY WORK?!
Jugga what?
MAGNETS!! how do they work??
Some people think clowns are funny but I think they are kind of scary. Maybe it all goes back to the time when I was 8 and we went to a circus and a clown murdered my parents.
your pants are on fire admiral^^^…i’m with mr. farmer, tho brian dennehy portrayed mr. gacy and did a damn fine albeit creepy job of it…scary rawk
I remember my first summer job as a clown at a playground. I remember how the children laughed and laughed. I vowed then and there that I would have my revenge.
And I did.
Right on both counts Painey. >: ) That must have been the first time in 15 years that Dennehy didn’t play a cop.
he was a meanie sheriff in silverado…methinks
During the 80’s he claimed to have been a decorated Viet Nam combat veteran. Someone filed an FOIA claim and discovered that while he did, indeed serve in the Marine Corps, in the early 60s, he never got closer to ‘nam than Okinawa and he was given a medical discharge after messing up his shoulder in a football game.
Dennis Franz, on the other hand, is a legitimate Nam vet.
Hopefully some useless war triv. will draw Z-man out of his Fortess of Solitude. His cheerfully absurdist take on the world would make a nice counterpoint to some of the wackiness of late.
wasn’t he in hill street blues…nono he was in that show with that caruso guy. the guy who acts with his sunglasses
He was in both.
thank you small officer in blue^^
A friend-of-a-friend thinks themselve a “juggalo”
He’s going to be a dad in a few months, and I can’t help but giggle at the ironic thought that his kid may have a phobia of clowns
Correct Bro. In fact, in HSB he played 2 characters. A dirty cop named Benedetto and few seasons later a detective named Buntz, which spawned a shortlived spinoff called “Beverly Hills Buntz: in which he co-starred with Peter Jurasic who played the alien with the Jurassic Park eyebrows in Babylon 5….Oh Jesus Christ, KILL ME NOW!
>: 0
you know when you’re old like me and think you’ve seen every form of insanityfuckeduppishness, guess what – you haven’t!!!
These folks are as stupid as Tom Kunts dog.
Is this even real? Jugga whatevers? I’ve never seen this.
i have yet to see one in 3-d donkey. only on the interweb
I’ll have to keep my peepers open when I’m on SGR on the morrow.
well they can’t look much scarier than your new avatar…evil colonel. screeee
>: ) Talking about gacy and Juggalos this week got me thinking about him. I always thought it would have made a good avatar for the Suckster, back before life began sucking a bit less. I think this is just going to be short term thing and then it’s back to something warm and fuzzy – like a Tiger Tank being driven by a kitten in a Rommel hat. Vorwarts! Rawk!
yes animals driving large machines. howabout a bull driving a tank over those torturers from espain *snort
If there’s anyway at all I can make it happen, my friend, I will. Crows with JDAMs will return to Guernica on bullfight day. Ole!.
Most of my friends are juggalos/juggalettes, and goths. I have no problem with anybody else, if they stare, let them, we didn’t do anything to them, so let us be! We’re just being ourselves, like everybody else is. If we all had to act like everybody else in the norm, we wouldn’t have such an interesting city! I never really liked Halifax, but after I met these amazing people, I don’t wanna leave! How would you like to be talked about like this, because of the way you look and dress. Maybe you, A Scientist, should get your face to the juggalos and juggalettes, tell them face to face that they’re a lost puppy ’cause they’re so ugly, I can’t wait to see your face when you see all of us tell you who’s ugly and who’s gonna hurt public safety with your ugliness :).
WHOOP WHOOP.
Yeah yeah, “haters make you famous” and “let your haters be your motivators” and other generic cliches.
What ways? Our ways of being individual? We don’t laugh at your ways, so why laugh at ours? …
yea ok so me and my buds aren’t cool or normal ok so what i chill around there with my face done up all the time, whats the problem no rights to look drees and act rthe way we want to?,, wow,, ok tell pupp3t that to his face see what he’d do,, ok,, like to see youh actually say this in public,, guess what,, WHOOP WHOOP MOTTHA FUCKA WHOOP WHOOP WICKED CLOWNZ NEVER DIE BITCH! fuck what the haters say,, live and act however youh want to.
The Person who wrote this, would you like to say it to the juggalos faces? 😀
WHOOP WHOOP
MCL
Except that they’re all dressing and acting in exactly the same way. They aren’t being themselves or individuals, they’re being what two morons who are famous for no reason whatsoever are telling them to be. Even if for argument’s sake that wasn’t the case, doing the whole ‘rah rah’ thing loses its effect/respectability when you start insinuating violence on others for not accepting it. Frankly you just make your clique sound even more moronic.
I don’t go downtown often so I have no idea who these jugga people are, what they do, or how they behave…. Are they there because of the buskers festival or are they always there just hanging out on Spring Garden?
You hear the whispers in the darkness.
The laughter echoes and enthralls
They’re taking bets you’ll never know
You Juggalette’s a Juggalo
THE BOULEVARD OF BROKEN BALLS.
And whose balls are they breaking?
Whose do you ya got?
Love the new Av, Newt. Not a self-portrait I hope. >; )
whoop whoop colonel squire…that was a good episode. nerd rawk
General, lovely Lady, retired. you may refer to me as the lonely Squire of Gothos.
One of my faves too. William Campbell even out-camped the great Shatner and also played Koloth, the feyest Klingon ever in “Trouble With Tribbles” He came out of retirment and ressurected the role along with Michael Ansara (Kang) and John Colicos (Kor) in the 3 Klingons episode of DS – 9.
So, I trump your nerd Rawk with a Weenie Full House, Screes over Snorts.
It finally came to me who Ivan of a thousand monikers reminds me of : a cooler/funnier more cutting edge Peter Ustinov 🙂
i didn’t watch ds 9 much…and i do remember the t with t episode, a fan fav. the city on the edge of forever is a good one, with the lovely young joan collins. and a piece of the action is awesome. (pav’s avatar) i concede to your higher *cough* nerd superiority. how goes the book schilling?
Oh Ivan, it is not a self-portrait. The self-portrait would be the creepy gnome queen. 😀 I am not skinny but I can still keep my meat inside my shirt. As for the balls, I could say that I have my husband’s balls but I have too much respect for him to say that. 🙂
By the way, you guys sound like you watch TV a lot…I have never bought a TV in my entire life so this is all so informative.
i miss the gnome newt…i used to watch more tv than i do now. mostly i enjoy useless/useful trivia “i shall do neither, i have killed my captain and my friend”
I had to google that quote too paingirl…I must be the only person in the world who knows nothing about any of the shows about the stars. I missed the shooting stars too…did you see them?
no, but my folks did…tres awesome^^
Back in BC I saw northern lights several times. They are breathtaking too. 😀
i really miss ontario thunderboomers…weather is fun. rooo
what part of BC you from NTH; going back to Vancouver in a week ; last place I lived was on Galiano Island
Eeeek. The Gnipple Gnome is back. For your edification Newt here is “Star Trek for Dummies” by Ivan Sonovabitch: These rules apply to all series in the franchise as well as the movies
1)Red shirts die because they deserve to.
2)No episode that featured Nazis was ever bad; no episode that featured Native Americans was ever good.
3) Original Star Trek hit the toilet after the first 2 seasons. Star Trek TNG got appreciably better after it’s first 2 seasons.
4) Star Trek: Voyager might just as well have been cast by Bob Rae’s Ontario Provincial Diversity Politburo. It got appreciably better after 7 of 9 made her appearrance. Rrrrrow.
5) The Bajorans are officially the biggest pain in the ass aliens in the entire franchise. Hezbollah of the Cosmos.
6) O’Brien is officially the coolest of the supporting cast members, especially the episode where he sings “the Minstrel Boy” with his former C.O. who’s declared his own private war on the Cardassians.
7) Say Cardassians like you were Sean Connery and wonder why you are now thinking about a clan of fat-butted publicity whores.
8) Harry Kim is officially the lamest of the supporting cast members. Back to physics class, Harry-san.
9)Benjamin Sisko would have been a much better Captain if Avery Brooks had played him like Hawk from “Spenser:For Hire.” A-FIRM-a-TIVE
10)Plotlines about Worf connecting with his Klingon heritage are sharper than The Batleth of Kahless. Plotlines about Worf as single-Klingon Dad suck the Gahkh out of a dead Tarhgh’s ass.
11) “Wrath of Khan” is not merely the best movie in the franchise; it is nothing less than the best movie ever made. There is no argument to this point.
Imagine me reading this list in Comic Book Guy Voice for full effect.
Well Painey, bookschilling is obviously pretty slow if i can crank out a War and Peace sized polemic all about Star Trek. I also *mouse ears* a good meteor shower and thunderboomer but haven’t experienced a good one of either in a while.
There are loons in my neck of the darkside ; the pinioned variety that is. One flew over the Dacha this A.M.
I for one welcome the return of our nipple sporting Satanic Ceramic Gnome overlord and pledge undying allegiance to her dark plans for humanity.
Peter Ustinov eh, Marty? Thats a new one for me. SOBova says I remind her of Tom Sizemore and I’m not talking Private Ryan/Blackhawk Down/Heat Sizemore – she means Celebrity Rehab/Sober House Sizemore. Lovin your new pic; you look like you are telling the Japanese camp guards that you have no intention of building a bridge over the River Kwai for them.
I love that movie; my second fave war movie (first is Guns of Navarone) 🙂
Great film; bad history. Alec Guinness was awesome. Check out “Tunes of Glory” his best performance IMO. Heading back to the Raincoast huh? Are you letting your Mom & Dad go back to no curfew and unlimted use of the car >: )
no they’ve lost all priviledges for life or 5 yrs. (whichever comes first:) ) and yea I’m chomping at the bit as this town has a nice beach and….. ummm did i mention the beach 🙂
“The Good Son” – does that make you Elijah or McCauley?
re FB post ; I met McCauley’s mother in Home Alone Catherine O’hara ; I worked with her brother Mike 🙂
Kule: I once sold $100.00 worth of clown books to Roseanna Arquette. She was bemused because she stepped into a rant session; myself, the lad I work with and a regular customer talking about an 8 year old demon child from Arizon who had been in earlier. Near as I can tell, she has never returned to N.S. so we must have impressed her as a pack of raving loonies.
we just had our second staff meeting of the year…a good night to all
you I actually liked Desperately… and Madonna was a babe in those daze 🙂
That pool scene is definitely filed away in the old Spank Bank >; )
And some meth daddy called my boss a fucking asshole tonite because he took him to task for allowing his little girl to climb on a stack of books like it was ajingle gym. Hope your boss is treated better by the clientele, Painey
I just woke up from a nap and had some dinner…lazy Saturday is wonderful. martym, I used to live in the northern part of it called Prince George. I’ve been to Vancouver many times but I can never get used to the busy-ness. Are you moving to Vancouver semi permanently martym?
Ivan, thanks for the Star Trek for Dummies presentation. I think I have seen an episode or two of Star Trek, probably the Voyage one. It is the one with a bunch of people with strangely decorated faces, yes?
By the way, this is for you Ivan:
http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2010/…
yea that’s a good way to put it semi-permanently; although I really was impressed with Victoria; but who knows in a year 🙂
I really like Victoria, at least to visit. Some parts can be very expensive to live in, but it is a beautiful city.
Thanks Newt. I *mouse ears* Kirk/Spock slash.
Juggalos look stupid. What are they going to do if someone tells them they’re a lost puppy and are ugly; try to fight the person? These jokes aren’t in the position to laugh at anyone else. Last I checked, I didn’t dress like shit and try to get desperate attention by painting my face like a never-was “musical” act like ICP.
Reminds me of the goth vs. vampires episode on South Park: lame. So lame.
HAHAHAHA.. how have i missed this? I usually only see those douche bags on halloween..
MIRACLES !! EVERYWHERE IN THIS BITCH!
After hearing how they treated Tila Tequila this weekend; I have to admit, I have a smidge more respect for them now.
http://visboo.com/the-juggalos-gathering-2…
Standard Saturday night at the Sportsplex terminal. Nuttin special.
All those Juggaslos and Sportsplexians are too sexy to resist. Ivan I don’t know how I hold myself back sometimes … …
To paraphrase “Apocalypse Now”:
“Never get out of the boat, er, bus. Absolutely goddam right. Not unless you’re prepared to go all the way.”
.
I was down with the original juggalo
http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/news/ex-w…