Dear “Oooh, a free camera”. To the sticky fingered shit who swiped the camera from the Duncan’s Cove parking lot. I was gone for less than the equivalent of one Beatles record. I asked the other hikers. I asked your neighbors. I left my number. I’ll find you. Hide. Hide. Hide. Here’s hoping a venereal disease renders you impotent.
This article appears in Jul 3-9, 2008.