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I bet you have no idea what you have done, what you took away from me on that day, what you continue to take away from me. I wish I could face you today. I wish I could make you feel as ashamed and scared and broken as you made me. I wish I could look you dead in the eyes and demand the tiniest shred of remorse that I have so desperately wished you would feel for all these years.
To this day the word hate is reserved only for you. And for myself. Because your actions continue to define who I am in my thoughts, in my words, in my actions. You haunt every waking moment of my days and every dreadful dream of my nights. You make me feel weak. You make me feel broken. You make me feel unlovable.
But you have not won. Because my story is not over yet. I’m still fighting and working and trying and LIVING and one of these days, I’ll face you again. They say that success is the best revenge, and I can’t wait to show you how true they are. I can’t wait to show you that although you think you have one, the game is not over. I can’t wait to show you that despite your actions, I am a successful and happy person and I have a life worth living. I can’t wait to look you in the eye as you’re charged for the crimes you’ve committed. I can’t wait to watch you get sentenced in court.
I’m coming for you, you son of a bitch. —Your worst nightmare
This article appears in Jan 22-28, 2015.
Why is this person in your mind? Only you are in control of your mind and actions. If you focus on doing better for yourself then you need to erase all thoughts or this other person or it will continue to eat away and prevent you from the joy of reinventing this new you.
AVOIDING SELF-CONTRADICTION
“To this day the word hate is reserved for you. And for myself. Because your actions continue to define what I am in my thoughts, in my words, in my actions… I can’t wait to show you that despite your actions, I am a happy and successful person and I have a life worth living.” Your worst nightmare
Do you detect, if not outright contradiction then at least major inconsistency, in those two assertions? In other words, how can you be a happy and successful person on the one hand and hate yourself on the other? If his actions have defined what you are in your thoughts, your words and your actions it does seem illusory at best to claim that you are a happy and successful person who has a life worth living. Egress from the dilemma might involve the study of philosophy, particularly that branch relating to the logical entailment of assertions. One must avoid self-contradiction at all costs.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
op, please talk to someone, a professional if possible. and take their advice to cast off the hold this person still has on you. this is what you have control over. keeping that person as part of your goal or your incentive is letting that person still have control over you.
do this for YOU, not them. the ‘best revenge’ is not dependant on the look in their eyes. the best revenge is for them to see they had no impact on you at all. no power, no influence and what they did does NOT define you for the rest of your life. take the power AWAY from that person.
Would you please explain that to Dal and their bevy of “victims”? As a penis-human, my very same words often fall on deafened ears/closed minds.
uh huh, but I didn’t say the original harm was a harmless prank or ‘just guys being guys’
(and I have no idea what this court case is for, or the genders of the people involved)
the harm has been done and must be addressed legally. however, I am advising the OP to not make recovery all about the perpetrator and ‘showing them’ because that is remaining attached to the perpetrator.
so much of aggression and harm is about exerting power over someone else, but the victim of that, refusing to shoulder a lifetime of shame, anxiety and pain does NOT absolve the perpetrator of what they did.
personally, I would never do a victim impact statement. no fucking way I would let some asshole glory in yet again seeing me in pain. victim impact statements presuppose assholes are capable of remorse.
Your Worst Nightmare: stop being a bloody, self-pitying twit. Work on yourself FOR yourself instead of wasting brain sparks on a person who, in the big scheme of things, will be nothing but a wet fart on your timeline.
You may have become a success, which is good, but you do not truly sound happy as you are still allowing this other person to fester in your thoughts. You truly need to release them from your mind then you may find real happiness.
That may be simplistic but may help in the long run. You think you are their worst nightmare when in fact they likely do not even dream about you, or think of you at all. Let go of revenge and if you get a chance let them know that in the end you won’t think of them either.
Agreed with GDM about the Victim Impact Statement. There’s no fucking way I’d give some scumbag something to jerk off over while doing his/her time.
Closure comes when you’re dead.
Hard to comment when you don’t know the transgression involved. It’s major in all likelihood as there is a court case. I tend to give OP some slack as the bitch may be cathartic for them. GDM is right in the sense that OP should seek some counsel.
Sounds like this person has you in the palm of their hand. Even your motivation to get revenge through success is instigated by the ominous shadow this person casts. They are all consuming, psychologically omnipotent.
Even when you ‘succeed’ they will continue to haunt your memories, a permanent stain on your spirit. They’re coursing through your veins, plaguing your dreams, contaminating your perceptions. To be candid, such rather sounds as though there’s some sick decrepit kind of appeal in this person that you hate yourself for being drawn to ever so helplessly.
Also, because they are the seed motivating the growth of this New Garden you wrongly call success, all such growth will have within it the core-germ of putrid decay, doomed to inevitable failure and collapse, contaminated with negativity, a pervasive rot that will also spread like gangrene, spiritually, to every single limb of your life.
Sounds like the embittered scornful venom-spitting of a soul already damned, a defeated combatant ravaged with the insane pain of loss.
Sounds like they’ve already won and your Fate is sealed.
^^ such a cheerful little buttercup you are
This about sums it up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKaYRUPbA1Q
My two bits OB:
– stop torturing and re-punishing yourself. Get on with your life. Let go of whatever happened. Push it out of your mind whenever it pops up. Think about something good or make plans for your future.
– consider forgiving the person for whatever happened – not for their sake but for your own – to release you from your self-made purgatory.
Time heals all wounds!
Well said Yippee, cause once they’ve taken your focus and your happiness, they’ve more than won, they’ve completely dominated. The best ‘revenge’ is to regard none at all, thereby lessening the potency of their inconvenient personality. Sure, you can ‘punish’, ‘get even’ or some other savage-attack, but really, in a way, you are FEEDING their Presence. Like a parasite, they are slowly draining your Life-Energy while you crystalize and harden into a mirror image of the negativity you were attacking, joining the Staggering Lines of The Undoubtedly Damned….
Evil hates being ignored. Even worse, it grows furious when you can manage to smile, laugh and, even better, ENJOY LIVING! It will watch from the shadows and fester in its own filth, growing sicker and less potent by virtue of its own miscalculation.
Forgiveness? That is just another way of saying ‘seeing it for what it is’: Unconscious Behavior, like someone Sleepwalking, though they appear fully There day to day. If the person did something so irrevocably heinous that its turned you into the present lunatic you’ve clearly become, really, the best course of action is to leave them as they are.
Cruel People are Their Own Punishment. Vengeful Are Even Worse.
Adios!
Sending warm wishes your way! I am so so sorry for what you experienced. What you wrote is a testament to your personal strength and to what you are capable of. Your post makes me think that you are a strong, real person. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a cliche for a reason. You are resilient but, you are only going to get stronger with time. Keep working toward that strength. Don’t listen to the mean-spirited commenters on here, they are just a bunch of internet trolls who have no idea. They are probably hanging out online all of the time putting other people down because they have no life. The fact that you wrote this post and that you had the courage to challenging this person in court just goes to show that this person couldn’t break you down. You are holding your own. Keep going! In time and with some work, you will have even more strength than you did before that person was in your life. You will eventually be able to use that to your advantage, toward living a better life, and also you will be able to better understand other people and to help them too. Surround yourself with people who help you to feel strong, and loved, keep seeking positive experiences. If you get really badly down at some point, and feel like a burden on your loved ones (you shouldn’t!), go see a counsellor too. They might be able to help you to fast-track healing. I also recommend spending time in beautiful places (like at the beach) noticing how beautiful the world is, and taking up a sport (like running or swimming!). Reclaim things that you used to love and find new things that you love too. You will make it. You can do this. I don’t know you but I’m sending friend-love your way!!!!