My bitch is an odd one as a single woman in her 30’s.
I have a great dating life and am not looking to settle down with anyone just yet.
My bitch is about the men I seem to be attracting or finding. After 3 dates they think they are my signifigant other and want to talk about the “next step”.
WHAT THE HELL…I’m not projecting I want a proposal, I’m not putting out, I am very honest and to the point, that I am in no way near ready to commit.
I pay my own way and sometimes even pay for them if I’ve done the inviting….WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG??
Do men in this city not believe in casual dating??
And why am I the B**CH or C**T when I turn them down about getting serious???
This article appears in Oct 16-22, 2008.
No sex… AND.. no commitment? wow. You offer nothing.You are a dead-end. No wonder you’re single at 30. lmao!
The no commitment part sounds like a dream come true…but no putting out? Blah.
BAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAA Single by choice Butta…and ohhhh I know honesty I have too much going on to settle my arse down…but thanks for the insight…Shows you REALLY read my bitch!!
99% of women piss and moan about guys being dogs and players…this one complains of guys wanting serious relationships…do women know what the fuck they want?too much going on…what are you the head of an international conglomerate? too busy to settle down…youll be the same woman five years from now bitching that the guys only want the younger tail. and no it doesnt make u a bitch…just a waste of time for anyone looking for anything than whats between your legs.
99% of women piss and moan about guys being dogs and players…this one complains of guys wanting serious relationships…do women know what the fuck they want?too much going on…what are you the head of an international conglomerate? too busy to settle down…youll be the same woman five years from now bitching that the guys only want the younger tail. and no it doesnt make u a bitch…just a waste of time for anyone looking for anything than whats between your legs.
Well John the too much going on…work, friends, kids, some baggage from an old realtionship 4 months ago…And that’s just it looking between my legs HAHAHA sounds a little bitter John, I’m not looking to get laid or married I’ve proven I can do BOTH and guys moan and groan when girls aint putting out and ya moan and groan when they do!!
well jenn. all that baggage you mention…tis life. its not pretty sometimes. and yes…and tonight i am a little bitter…good call. maybe the reason why these guys get all clingy right off the bat is because you are who you are and possess some thing(s) they want more of…and not specifically between said legs.
I bet Jenn has a hairy bushlol
Why do I find myself laughing at Butta’s comments?
Even I know the answer to this one, and I’m female.You date, want nothing serious (understandable in this city), and you don’t have sex. It’s the last point. They figure if they get some sort of committment from you, that’ll usher in the poon. Even if you DO make it clear that all your looking for is a pal, they’re still going to take it badly.
In all seriousness though… it’s like this..there is a fork in the road. You have to choose either left or right. Jenn is basically saying “yeah well… in MY one way road, when u reach the fork.. you can’t go left.. and you cant go right.. and you can’t go straight and there’s no stalling on the road.. sorry i didn’t post a sign mentioning that 2 miles back on the highway but its how it goes”No sex.. no commitment. What else is left? Sounds like you just want a ‘friend’.. so why don’t you advertise that instead of dating them? when you make it a ‘date’ you are misleading people. make it a ‘hang-out’ session instead of a ‘date’. Just say “oh btw, this is NOT a date because it won’t go anywhere.. just thought you should know that sir!” Maybe then you won’t keep making the same mistake over and over again… and your frustration will be rightfully earned.btw i like hairy bushes. especially the ones that look like yard shrubs seperating the lawn from the sidewalk. If jenn is one of those types of girls, i’d take her on a tim hortons date no doubt.
Maybe you should have three catagories for encounters with men. The first one being just a hangout session for coffee or whatever. The second one might be just a straight up booty call or fuck buddy go at it, and the third might be for potential long term relationships. Just slot the next guy into one of those three catagories, and give the poor bugger the head’s up before you begin. Jesus, are we supposed to be fucking mind readers or what.
Jenn doesn’t know what she wants, thats the point. No woman anywhere at anytime in any place knows what she wants. But don’t be fooled guys, she will swear up and down that she knows exactly what she wants, but when she finally gets it, she’ll bitch and moan about it – never happy. Just Jenns comments serve only to confuse, upset, obsfucate and disarm males. Her “self-criticisms” are thinly veiled attacks at men – covertly aggressive she waits on her dates to “slip-up”, then she withdraws; her overly high expectations and men’s failure to meet them justify her outrage and self-pity.Note to Just Jenn: Butta and Burning Man are right. First, what you are going on is NOT dates, its just “hanging-out”; second, when you go out with a new guy tell him that you’re a wishy-washy broad, don’t try and trick him until he finds out on his own.
Ok I think perhaps the first or second dates, are more of a hang out, that’s true, but the no sex, no commitment…that’s not even really the point after THREE DATES/HANG OUTS…seriously spending 3 days with someone does NOT make me wanna f**k them or marry them!So the question was why am I the b**ch after 3 hang outs…if I don’t agree to commit to anything more then a 4th date/hang out??I am far from wishy washy or a broad for that matter, I have a lot going on and can’t committ to 5 or 6 nights a week hanging out with a man, I have a busy schedule. But as a single woman I think 1 or 2 nights a week is a good balance to date/hangout with the opposite sex.And lastly…No Jenn does not have a hairy bush 😛 She’s quite on the side of neat is better!
Maybe you can’t commit to men because you are a lesbian. Maybe you should explore lesbianism, you know… eat at the Baby Gap a few times…see how that turns your crank. If that doesn’t work, then I dunno… start collecting cats or something.
If you pay your own way, don’t have sex, like to “hang out”, and you don’t want a commitment you need to get real about what you want.What you described is called a friendship; to call it dating is misleading.
I’m a girl and I don’t understand what she’s after either.You don’t want to get married, ok, but are you looking for a boyfriend? If you’re after casual dating, what do you want from these dates? Are you planning on dating a guy 8 times before you sleep with him? Because that’s hardly casual to a male. Are you trying to feel out a couple of different guys that you can date for awhile and then have as casual sex partners? Because if you are, be upfront about it, if a guy knows that going in, he’ll be more likely to stick around if he knows he’ll be getting no strings attached sex later on a regular basis.Or are you as it seems to everyone else here, just looking for some new friends? Because if you’re expecting a guy to wait until the 8/9th date for sex, he’s gonna expect that after that date, you’re gonna be giving it to him on a regular basis because you’re essentially committed to each other as bf/gf (if it goes well the first time). If you just want new friends, join a group or something.
So there the standard seems to be set that 8 or 9 dates, you sleep with or have already slept with your potential mate…..Good to know, maybe that’s the gauge I’ll have to start using.And perhaps that’s the answer…friendship is all I am looking for. Maybe the baggage I have or my potential fear of coming out of the closet leads me to just want to be friends!!Awwwww
im not sure which world all of you people live in but women and men are not meant to be strictly friends…evolutionarily speaking. we are hard wired to screw each others brains out. its called propogation of the species. and for u women who say that im incorrect and you have lots of male friends….every one of them would fuck you if they had a chance. and for those guys who would protest…shut up you lying fools, you know youu would. ladies having trouble finding guys not interested in “hanging out” only? go figure…
It’s not necessarily a standard, but if you’re looking for casual dating partners, that’s like 8 or 9 weeks of dating. Not many people are gonna stick around for 2 months without sex if they’re looking for a casual relationship.
Well John I do actually have a lot of male friends and when I read your comment I LOL’ed if you will because there are a few of them who swear up and down they NEVER wanna sleep with me and I swear up and down they are lying…we’re still friends none the less
Stop calling it dates then.DATE implies that you are attracted and want to persue some kind of more than plutonic relationship with the person. You trip over yourself with doubletalk and are now trying to backpedal later. There is nothing wrong with hanging out with friends. However, if you dress up, go out in the evening and call it a date then you are fucking wasting their time and are in fact a bitch who doesn’t know what she wants. You want to hang out, fine, say you want to hang out and tell them you arn’t interested in them sexually so they can persue someone who actually wants them. Or are you into the ego boost that somes with having guys fawn all over you while you knowing you will crush them later?
Date: a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person: to go out on a date on Saturday night.
I don’t know anyone that would stay interested for that long even if they did think they would get some action in two months! It would be a hectic two months. Sleeping with someone after 8 or 9 date isn’t unreasonable, but there HAS to be something before that. Anything. And even if you decided to go the lesbian route, I don’t know a single lesbo who would wait that long either.Have you thought of joining a cult? It might fulfil your sense of belonging while maintaining a larger sense of seperateness from society that you seem to have. Maybe a life at sea is the life for you?I think you should start thinking alternatives, rather than wasting your time doing what everyone else does, especially if you aren’t happy by it.
guys can “swear up and down” that they dont want to sleep with a female friend(s)…ive said the same things. you women have to know deep down that its not true….jenn. there are few basic truths in life but this is one of them…a man will sleep with a willing woman. period. but its nice that we can all still be “friends”.
I can say I have friends I wouldn’t. My friends fiance was jealous and thought she was cheating with me. I made her made when I told her to tell him not to worry, I picture her with Brillo Pad Legs. (Truth!)
So john, are you attracted to all humans that are female? Or are you that desperate that you would fuck anything willing and breathing???? Not all guys will fuck anything…..
“lori”well i suppose thats the reason you get fucked…guys who have low standards like me. i imagine most of your “romantic” interludes begin with your paramour shotgunning a six pack and chugging from a forty while plowing you with his eyes closed.because i tell the truth that all others choose to deny, that means ill fuck anything…please lori…get smart.
I’m not sure if John is being sarcastic or not…
TBG…allow me to clear things up for you. lori is not smart. Nor is she able to comment on anything related to who i am as a person. thats all that matters.
DO NOT abbreviate The Bad Guy’s name, each letter is as important as the one that preceded it. Maybe more important! No, as important.
OK TBG
I think some of you people need to go back and reread the actual bitch. This person is complaining that after 3 dates, she’s being pressured for some sort of commitment. Is that normal? Come on guys, put the shoe on the other foot for a minute. You meet a girl, ask her to go to a movie. A few days later, you go see a live band together. The following weekend, you go out for dinner. During dinner, the girl starts dropping hints that you should give her a key to your apartment. Tell me you wouldn’t run screaming. Particularly if there has been no sex. And btw, is one expected to have sex by the third date? Who made that rule, Sarah Jessica Parker?
You need a gay friend. Stop dating.
Problem is, Jenn, if you’re continually going out on dates with the same guy, you might as well call it a friendship.I’m confused about what exactly you’re looking for from these casual dates.
Sarah Jessica Parker is horrible. Appalling.The impression I got was that this is a frequent occurrence for our poor Jenn… I have been on many dates and only a few have turned out to be psychotic. And I duly split when I realise this. I had them pegged after the first or second date and they never got another chance to ask for even a third date, much less ask for a key. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.What Jenn is doing is projecting her insecurities on others to justify her suffering. She is ashamed at her failure to find a connection with someone, its tantamount to rejection in her eyes, but she masks it with anger and rhetorical posturing. “What the hell am I doing wrong??” comes her exasperated cry, “Oh dear, dear Jenn…*you* are doing nothing wrong. Its the dozens of *men* who are doing you wrong.” is the reply she wants. But unfortunately nobody gives her that response, so she tells it to herself instead.Thusly she creates an impenetrable bubble around herself; sad and smug in the certainty that no one will ever meet her entrance requirements.
I wouldn’t say it’s “normal” to expect a commitment after three dates, no. And of course, there is no “standard” requiring sexual intimacy after X number of dates.Having said that, Jenn, I think you should rethink the dating arrangement, or at least, consider what it really means to you. Are you not looking for a relationship, but open to the idea? If so, I’d say you’re on the right track, and you’ll have to deal with some guys who have unfair expectations of you. Are you completely disinterested in a relationship of any kind right now? If so, I’d avoid dating entirely were I you, because you’re probably going to mislead some decent guys at some point, and nobody wants to be treated like that.
Woa…..settle down johnny boy! Didn’t realize I was hitting on such a touchy subject. All the fun always happens after I go home for the day!!! Fuckin late afternoon/night Trolls!
I can say I have had the same problem, a chain of girls who have wound up wanting a commitment. At one point I was told I crushed a girl after one coffee date, then going to a bar after which we slept together, one to two booty calls. All the while saying I am not looking for a commitment yet.I think people tend to find the same type of mate, not purposefully. A lot of girls I’ve been with I’ve noticed I am very similar to their fathers. I would suspect Jenn keeps barking up the same type of tree. Not on purpose, there’s a quality she sub-consciously picks up on from guys.
WOw, this bubble sure feels good today…thanks Prime!! Days like today with all my smugness around me, I sure am lucky to have my little bubble of my there…there dears!!