What. The. Eff. Can’t a guy and a girl JUST be friends? Am I totally stupid and naive in thinking so? Why does this always happen to me? I meet a guy, we get along, things are great, and as much as I HATE doing it, we have “The Talk” about “Just Being Friends” BUT SHIT STILL GETS MESSY. I get along better with guys! I just do! Faaaaaaack it would be SO nice if none of that “we should maybe sorta probably hook-up” B.S. got in the way. Clearly, I need more female friends. Help. —KeepItPlatonicPlease
This article appears in Feb 17-23, 2011.
..if your good looking ..no 🙂
Stop fucking your friends. It’s not as if you don’t have a choice here.
I have guy friends. The thing is that when I was single, we pretty much only hung out in groups. It makes it less awkward if they’re attracted to you or vice versa.
Who “has the talk about just being friends” with their friends? Seriously that’s kind of creepy and makes you sound like you think every guy wants to fuck you.
The only time you should have “the talk” is after he’s made it clear that he wants more and you don’t. That’s only happened to me three times and none of them ended with us being friends again after.
You’re obviously friends with the wrong type of guys, OP.
Shit, I made out with my best guy friend once and things remained completely platonic and not even awkward since.
You need more guy friends like that 😛
…..or gay ones. *shrug* When they tell you you’re pretty they’re not saying it because they want to fuck you — they’re say it because it’s true ^_^
As a dude I fall hopelessly in love with every girl that’s in my life. To the point I can’t be with one girl because I want to be with another as well. And I don’t do polygamy well.
It’s always a mixture of attraction to their body, their smile, and the way they “be”. I just know too many good looking girls with good heads on their shoulders.
I need to live under a rock for a couple years.
Aww, aliar 🙁
O.k…just for the record, it wasn’t me.
It`s possible….but in different situations. Too many to explain. Stop hanging out with guys that you know have crushes on you. You`re just feeding off the attention.
aliar is just that….
I think aliar’s comment was meant to be sarcastic…
Any reasonable adult should be able to keep his cock in his pants and deal with it. Anything less is just shitty… unless you’re a Hollywood Celeb and then you just go to sex rehab muwahahahaha
Yeah, sounds like an attention whore to me.
Here’s a tip: you’ll have more girlfriends if you stop macking on their boyfriends/husbands.
But yeah, sounds like you like it too much, eh?
I do think it is possible, but like someone said, you need the Perfect Storm kind of situation.
Maybe the under a rock bit was sarcastic, but I am confused by a multitude of gorgeousness, mind and body, and for the first time making advances is hard.
But at the same time I can see where only being around a few women would cause guys to try and hit on them hard.
In a verryy roundabout way – I can see where the dudes in OPs life think it’s needed to hit on their ladyfriends. It’s not common these days to show affection towards the opposite sex without sexual tension.
I have a lot of guy “just” friends. It definitely is possible… All I have to say is you need to think about it, what if you met a guy who you were “more-than-friends” interested in. Do you jump into a relationship right away, or start out as friends and get to know them better. Maybe, unfortunately you’re just a great catch and they just develop unwanted feelings. It sucks when feelings get hurt but you should be flattered.
I wouldn’t touch NGF with a 50 foot pole.
In “that” way, of course.
And I know the feeling is mutual.
So SURE, it’s definitely possible.
I had a therapist tell me once that male-female friendships have a tendency to “sibling-ize” after a while where you endup seeing your counterpart as more of a “brother” or “sister” where you cannot imagine ever doing anything sexual with them (because it would almost be like incest).
I have tons of guy friends, and sure, some of them are flirty guy friends and sure, while I wouldn’t actually sleep with any of them (I don’t fuck friends), there’s mild sexual tension and it’s fun, I’ll admit. However, most of my guy friends (the ones who I’ve known FOREVER) and i have a relationships where it WOULD feel incestious to go “there” with them….you know?
So I’m convinced it’s possible to be 110% platonic with the opposite sex.
I would sooner be 110% platonic with all my girl friends than 110% platonic with myself…… OUCH. Hey wait a sec…. that’s pretty much the way it is! PERIOD!
Family? well that’s a different story.
^^^ UHOHES.
I see what you did there.
Maybe you should pretend you’re a lesbian. We love lesbians, and I’ve never tried to sleep with one. Just make sure to specify you’re NOT bisexual.
kipp, no, i guess it can’t be. either that, or you sent out wrong signals.
oh and kipp, i don’t want to be a friend, just a “buddy”.
LS in Cape Breton they got a saying about buddies. Where if a buddy went downtown last nite & got 2 BJ’s he’d come home & give you one .
IS that what you meant ~:?
sounds like a Cape Breton saying…
Wow, why is everyone hating on her so much? I get what she is saying. I have had that problem. I make a new male friend and try to keep a distance at first for that reason, not wanting to give the wrong impression. As soon as I feel like they may want more I make a suggestion about them dating someone I know who is single and how they would be cute together.. just a way to throw it out there without having “the talk”. If they aren’t complete morons they should get the hint. Just because a guy falls for her doesn’t mean she has done anything wrong. These things happen and it is always good to get it out in the open sooner than later.
OP, I see what you’re saying here, but there are a couple of ways to look at it.
If you’re guy friends just want to be fuckbuddies, (lets face it, its in their nature to want it… especially if you are rather attractive) and thats not what you want, it is pretty easy to recover from… give it a week or two and act as if nothing happened. Simple. Been there, done that.
But, if these guy friends you are refering to actually want to be with you, and claim that they are ‘in love’ with you, then this is a completely different story. Because, if this is the case, then even if you say you don’t want anything with them, they’ll still be in love with you. (kinda flattering in a way, isn’t it?). And they will keep trying. Awwwwkward.
And to be honest, I really do think that in most of your cases, the situation is similar to option #1, rather than option #2 where they’re ‘in love’ with you. Its just more likely.
If you have a straight guy friend, there is no way that he hasn’t even thought of the possibility of hooking up with you. Thats just craziness — the human mind is curious.
Really? You have a talk? I wish that happened to me or often with girls and guys. Maybe you just need to give off a ‘don’t try fuck me’ vibe and turn down any flirting, then it’ll never come up.