To all the people out there on crowded buses who sit in the aisle seat so that they can hog the entire thing to themselves: Who the fuck are you saving the window seat for? Your invisible friend? If people are standing in the aisles, scoot the fuck over. Next time I see someone doing it, I’m going for that window seat, and I’m cutting the nastiest fart you’ve ever experienced right in your face as I move in. Smell that? That’s street justice, bitch.
This article appears in Feb 14-20, 2008.
Oh God…. not the farting on the bus thing again…..:)
I am laughing sooooooo hard right now!I would pay admission to see that.
I wonder if he has IBS…?? hehe
like you never farted?
I get on the #58 to go to work in the morning and I always see Grizzly Adams hogging the aisle seat no matter how full the bus is. I shouldn’t have to say excuse me, mind if I have a seat. People should know better, but they don’t. Mindless, self-centered shitbags.
Ginger’s got the farts, man..proud of it too.
matt in this crazy and wild world and the struggle not to be ourselves but to be what everyone else wants us to be I choose to be myself. I don’t hold myself to public standards. If i wish to wear purple and orange together I will, if I fart accidentally I will apologize if people are around but not feel sorry as its natural. I am driven by the beat of my own drum. I have morals and standards but choose not to be ‘normal’ what is normal? normal is worth about $1.25 in my opinon. If we are all normal who is weird?
poop dude, this is exactly what i’ m talking about, people who go against the norm of society get chastized by freaks like you.
Its nice that you apologize if you fart around people, Ginger. On the part of individuality, I’m reading an interesting book by Hal Niedzviecki called “Hello, I’m Special: How Individuality is the New Conformity”. Its a neat read…
Dammit lynn….you just took the post right out of my mouth. 🙂 I’m definately gonna check out that book. There are no new ideas, just different ones. There are tons of rebels out there all marching to the beat of their same off-beat drum. I’m not talking about you specifically ginger, I don’t really know you, so I am just speaking about rebels in general. Societies “rules” and conformity are there so individuals know what to expect when they interact with one another. They were developed so that people with different beliefs and values and ideas can come together and be productive instead of destructive. Conformity is not a bad thing.
Ginger, you need to lighten the fuck up. Why don’t you march to the beat of a drum that can take a joke, princess?
thanks Lynn and Miles!! umm yes poop my hubby does consider me princess!! thanks for noticing
i sit on the aisle when i’m on the bus, because i’m claustrophic and i don’t like being wedged between the wall and another person.however i keep the seat beside me clear, and anyone who wants to sit in it, is welcome to. it’s not my fault if people prefer to stand and grumble, rather than sit down (i’m reading my book, i’m not paying attention). all they gotta do is ask me to move my feet, so they can squeeze past, and the seat is theirs. where does it say i have to move over to the wall to let someone take the more comfortable aisle seat? i was there first, right? first come first first served? you wanna sit down? just ask! don’t be so lazy and whiny about it.
Mortimer I couldn’t agree more! If you’re that shy that you can’t just ask to get into the seat that’s empty – your problem. Deal with it.
Why should I have to climb over your big ass feet and potentially trip in an already awkward situation just so you can be more comfortable?! If I’m standing because you’re too lazy to move over then the least you could do is over me the fucking seat, get up and let me in! I think most people do not want to ask for the inside seat because some people actually do think that they deserve both and asking for it would initiate a confrontion; like those fucking little hood rats that think they are so cool that they have to sit with their legs all sprawled out and slumped over like their hung like a elephant!
Mimi, that’s their problem, isn’t it? i’m not too lazy to move over, i’m claustrophobic. if you’re too lazy to ask for the seat, when someone is reading and doesn’t see you’re there, that’s your problem, not mine. i’ll let you in, i promise. again, why should i have to move over, and give up the comfortable seat i’m in for someone who got on the bus after me? first come, first served. the empty seat beside me is up for grabs, not my problem if you don’t want it and are too chicken-shit to ask for it.
You should move over because you’re not entitled to take up two seats, you fucking self important prick. I feel sorry for anyone who is too ‘chicken shit’ to speak up to a little shit like you.
I am inclined to agree with Mortimer here. There are a lot of reasons for not taking the inside seat that don’t make someone self important. Maybe they are claustrophobic like mortimer or they are unable to safely maneuver between the seats or maybe they are getting off soon and don’t want to have to climb over someone to get off. Most people on the outside for legitamate reasons would probably even stand up to let you in if asked. I do however think the polite thing to do is move over, and most people on the outside seat are probably the self-involved prick-types.
poop, when did i ever say i think i’m entitled to take up two seats?i said just the opposite, a buncha times: take the seat beside me, it’s empty. it’s right there, just take it. all i want is the seat i sat down in, when i got on the bus. why is this too much to ask?fyi, though nobody asked, i stand up and offer my seat, when there are no empties, to the elderly, or to people with small children, or to people with several bags of groceries, who could obviously use a chance to sit down. maybe somebody oughta talk about the selfish shits who don’t offer their seats to people who need them more, and stop obsessing over empty seats they’re obviously too scared to sit in. SJM and Miles, at least you guys get it, thanks for that.
“again, why should i have to move over, and give up the comfortable seat i’m in for someone who got on the bus after me?”Geeze, I dunno.
This is a hard one…When the bus is really full, it would be nice if people moved over just because its easier and obviously someone would like to sit. Although I’m not shy about asking, I guess some people are, which is pretty unfortunate. I can’t imagine being so shy I couldn’t ask for a seat. When its not so full though, who really cares. I’ve never understood the types who obviously get very upset about it but still don’t say anything… they just stand there with steam coming out of their ears, even if there are other seats. I’ve never understood those people who take 2 seats and put their feet on the side seat or the old men who sit with their chests all puffed up and their legs spread like a big old rooster (always on the side seats). The bus just seems like a pretty lame place to assert one’s masculinity- yeah, you’re legs are so spread we can all see the outline of your balls. Good for you!
The point is: I shouldn’t have to ASK for a seat that I paid $2 for! You are preventing me from sitting in said seat so MOVE!!! And Mortimer… why are “the elderly, or to people with small children, or to people with several bags of groceries” more deserving of that seat than anyone else? Who are you to dictate who can sit and who can’t?
mimi: wow. just wow. do you actually read these posts, or what? i said i give up my seat, that’s the one i’m sitting in, to other people.as for the empty seat beside me, help yourself. it’s yours if you want it.you paid $2 for a seat on the bus. the seat beside me is empty. sit in it, you stupid crotchety whiner. who’s preventing you? if what you’re really saying is you want my seat, the one on the aisle, and you expect me to move in and vacate my seat for you, well, then: fuck you. i was there first. as for dictating who gets to sit and who doesn’t, you must live a rich fantasy life, because i never said any such thing. if you think i did, well, then: fuck you.come to think of it, just fuck you.
Simply put, as I’m not going to get into a pissing war with you, I don’t want your seat (however I commend you for offering it to some…I misread your point and I apologize you arrogant prick) But I still do not feel that I should have to ask or climb over you or anyone else to obtain a seat.
I find it hard to believe that even though you may be reading a book, you fail to see all the people crammed next to you in the aisle on the bus. I’m fine with you keeping your aisle seat, most people prefer the inside anyways, but the least you can do is stop for a second, and ask if anyone would like to sit down. Also, to most of the people standing in the aisle on the bus hoping for one of the seats, try looking in the back, there are nearly always seats and in case you didn’t know, it’s not just for the lower class of society anymore.
lol @ Lynn, I think i just let a little pee out.
Hey Mortimer (Mr. I’m reading my book, I’m not paying attenton) How do you manage to notice, elderly & people with kids and bags, but you don’t notice people standing all around you???? What a crock….the least you could do is swing your legs out so that people wouldn’t have to climb over you and your book!
lol, J, we must have had the same thoughts, you just type a whole lot quicker than me!
I think our little princess here deserves his own bus that only travels on roads paved of gold. Either that, or we should roll out the red carpet and carry him on a bed of roses. Cause, y’know he’s all ‘clausterphobic’ and shit.
hey, lori, who said i don’t swing my legs and make room for people to get past me? somebody wants the empty seat beside me, i’ll swing my legs, stand up, give them all the room they need. also, who said i don’t notice people standing all around me? what i said was, i’m reading my book, and i’m not paying enough attention to see if someone who is standing is also grumbling because i’m not automatically making room for him (or her) to sit in the empty seat. in case you guys haven’t noticed, there are plenty of people who get on a bus with several empty seats, and who choose to stand up anyway (they’re often the ones blocking the back exit, and who won’t move out of the way to let people off the bus). am i supposed to take a poll and ask each of the standing people if they want this empty seat beside me? if you’re standing, i’m probably aware of you. but i’m not psychic. the seat is empty, and i’m happy to move out of the way so you can get to it. it’s kind of up to you to indicate you want it. when you guys are at the movies, and there’s an empty seat halfway down an aisle, do you expect everybody to stand up and scooch over to make room for you on the end of the aisle? or do you make your way down the aisle to the empty seat? it’s the same thing on public transport: the seat is empty, and it’s not the responsibility of the person next to it to move over for you.if you want the empty seat, it’s your responsibility to make that known.
Maybe Mortimer and his claustrophobia should be the one standing since he needs so much room! Or maybe he should seek some professional help in dealing with his fears.
So, let’s forget about mortimer for a minute. What is really wrong with sitting in whatever seat you want on the bus, for whatever reason? As long as the aisle-sitter will let you in, what’s the problem? I understand the frustration with people who only sit in the aisle seat to discourage others from sitting next to them, but just excuse yourself and get in there anyway. Are the people who want the guy to move to the inside seat not just as selfish as the person they are complaining about? It’s not all about YOUR comfort and convenience either. It’s just a busride across town, not a big deal.
glad to meetcha, Miles. and to Mimi, who still perists in misunderstanding me (I never said I need “so much room,” anybody can sit next to me, anytime they want, can’t you read?), a cheerful “fuck you.”
Because, when I get on a bus and someone is sitting in the aisle seat, blocking the only empty seat on the bus, it tells me that they think that they are too good to sit next to anyone else. That may not be the case, but what if it is? I’ve been on a bus when this happened and when I asked if I could sit, he actually did tell me no in his snotty little hoodrat attitude! It’s only a seat on a bus so I wasn’t prepared to make a big deal about it, and because a real gentlemen heard this and offered me his seat but still! Most times, I will ask to sit down. And I’ll make sure that they move so that I don’t have to climb over too! Bottom line is bus ettiquette. I don’t care if I have to sit in the aisle or the window, I just want to sit.
If you were to ask Mortimer for the inside seat and he refused then I think you’d have something to bitch about. Otherwise, lay off Mortimer. He’s paid his 2 bucks and if he wants to sit on the isle so be it… You’ve heard his reasoning and I think he has a valid point…
glad to meetcha, Ernie.