This is to the guy I watched get punched in the face for apparently no reason. I’m so sorry. I should’ve done something other than stand there and watch, but I was scared. I go to school with those guys, I see them in the halls, and they probably know my name. But that doesn’t feel like much of an excuse.
My friends who were with me keep reminding me that the only thing that would’ve happened is I’d have a black eye, but I still have this incredible sense of guilt. I am so sorry. I hope you’re okay.
—Bystander
This article appears in Sep 24-30, 2009.
Jeez bud, I wouldn’t feel that bad about it. I’m guessing you’re in high school. High school fights are a part of life: they’ve been happening for centuries, since the dawn of time, and they will likely happen forever. When I went to QEH back in the early 2000s, everyone always got so excited to see the latest fight over on the Commons after school. Prime time event I tell ya.
Anyway, I guess it may be a good sign you’ve felt bad enough to post something here, but I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. If you do, tell the guys who punched your friend to meet you at the bowl after school ’cause you’re gonna fuck them up.
Love the Way We Empathize ?
High school or not, it seems when you stand up for people in this town that makes you an even better enemy than who they were picking on in the first place. You did the right thing by staying out of it… if your social life is important to you that is, and it should be.
Don’t beat yourself up over this, OP – I must agree with the other posters that staying out of it is the best strategy – high school is notorious for this kind of shit and getting mixed up in it would only put a big ole bullseye on your back.
I abhor violence (of course). But, I have learned through the years that there is not much I can do about it. Generally, if two people are squaring off, I will watch to make sure that it doesn’t turn dirty (beating them once they are down or friends jumping in). But, outside of that, I accepted that the injuries from a fair fight will heal.
I just gotta put it out there… we have to keep our hands to ourselves and develop other problem solving techniques because to lay your uninvited hands on another is a CRIMINAL ACT. See the scrapper thrown in jail and there won’t be any more fist-fight problems, right? Right.
I agree with you wholeheartedly, Kay. And, I wish that it was that easy. Unfortunately, for it work, we would have to convince a good chunk of the population. As well, in spite of the efforts they do make, the police and judicial system don’t seem to be making much of an impact.
Instead of staying out of it…you all should have jumped into the fray.
Don’t listen to the rest of the whooses on here, they’ve been hiding from, & or been picked on all through their school terms. So what if you get a black eye, or a fat lip. Give as good as you get. Bully’s hate it when they get hurt & once they realise your never going to cower or back down, they’ll leave you alone. Because the fact is bullies are cowards.
So stand up & stop sniveling !
After all there’s no way you can be hurt accidentally if your actively involved, so grow a set & stand up for the underdog & yourself.
And screw the ‘criminal act’ BS that was posted, unless weapons are involved (the cowards way) you can’t get in much trouble for protecting yourself, trust me I was charged several times, all were dismissed. WHY you may ask ?
Because helping others or protecting yourself isn’t illegal .
OP you’re a wimp. You should have pounded them chumps like we used to back in the day. Shit never happens in high school.
Once you put your foot down with the bullies they won’t bother you. Why? Because they know you can stomp them. Been there and done it myself.
Why does everyone seem to be assuming that this person is a guy? They may be a girl. It they are, would that change some of your ideas?
And Bystander, I doubt there was anything you could’ve done. Don’t beat yourself up over it.