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Why is it that men tell me how great looking I am online and ask me out, but in person? Nada. Zero. Rien. Do men not do this anymore? Or am I just absolutely fucking hideous in person? —jigglybuttockslady
This article appears in Mar 6-12, 2014.
16 Comments
Probably because they can actually see your jiggly buttocks in person.
ONLINE REALITY
“Why is it that men tell me how great looking I am online and ask me out, but in person? Nada. Zero. Rien.” jigglybuttockslady
The poster has raised an interesting question. What is the relationship between online and real-world reality? More specifically, what is the relationship between one’s online “persona” and one’s real-world person? For jigglybuttockslady the disconnect between the two appears to be total but is this necessarily the case?
How is one to engage the question? There can be no across-the-board ruling as far as I am aware. The question can only be engaged by inspecting the contents of one’s own consciousness, a feat which I will now undertake.
The nature of my online persona is unambiguous. I am a warm, nurturing and caring individual who seeks only the well-being of his fellows. I avoid confrontational encounters, seeking rather to calm the troubled waters of heated debate. My writing is a model of brevity and simplicity. I avoid all orotund and tedious circumlocutions. In addition, I make no claim to intellectual superiority, seeing everyone rather as my philosophical peer. For example, I never say to myself, “My God, is this the level at which these people actually live?” My online persona has been rewarded by an increasingly wider circle of friends who hail my qualities and achievements without reservation.
The point is that my online persona is an accurate reflection of my real-world self. I possess all of the aforementioned qualities, and more, in abundance. For example, if I were to ask jigglybuttockslady out online she need have no misgivings about my real intentions. jigglybuttockslady, would you like to go out with me?
New Avatar Alert! Wartime Life Magazines (7): July 19, 1944
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
I believe it could stem from the difference that a 2-D picture doesn’t give a person important depth perception as 3-D reality does. The eyes and brain interpret objects differently under those 2 conditions.
There are parts of Dartmouth where a fat arse is a welcome sight. You just be playing in the wrong sandbox.
Vintage Warbird Alert! AT-11 Kansan of the U.S.A.A.F.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/comm…
A military version of the ubiquitous Beechcraft Model 18 configured for bombing and aerial gunnery training. No doubt, General Dwight David Eisenhower had opportunity to fly in the C-45 Expediter, the military transport version of this multipurpose airframe.
Sharp-eyed readers will remember that Montrealman passed on the opportunity to fly over Halifax in this type of aeroplane, as a young cadet. Fortunately he avoided the stigma of being branded L.M.F. -Lacking Moral Fibre.
bap! written by that idiot who was whining about mod not letting his ‘fat women on dating sites’ troll-posts through
Must have been all those beeps when you backed up, OP.
LACKING MORAL FIBRE
RSVP
: Ivan Sonofabitch (03/09, 10:30AM)
“Sharp-eyed readers will remember that Montrealman passed over the opportunity to fly over Halifax in this type of aeroplane, as a young cadet. Fortunately he avoided the stigma of being branded LMF- Lacking Moral Fibre.”
Ah yes, the incident with the Expediter. All true as I previously reported but – and this is important – was my passing over the opportunity to fly over Halifax in that Expediter as a young cadet a matter of “lacking moral fibre?” The question, of course, turned on of just what such moral fibre might consist, of just how it was to be conceptualized. I brought this matter up with the LAC – a braying Englishman of indeterminate but probably lower class – who was in charge of the venture. We met in his office.
“Look” I protested, “morality relates to the distinction between right and wrong, a distinction in respect to which my declining to fly over Halifax in the Expediter does not apply. It “floats free,” if you like, of morality itself. You have made what we in philosophy call a ‘category mistake’. Consequently, there can be no moral stigma attached to my decision.”
The LAC immediately saw the force of my reasoning. “You’re quite right,” he said. “There can be no grounds upon which any stigma relating to your lacking moral fibre might coherently be assigned. Dismissed!” I saluted and left.
“God, that was close,” I muttered to myself as I made my way back to the fetid classroom to join my cognitively- challenged classmates.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
My, my, montrealman, you have a way with words. In fact, I will have to read through your posts a few times to fully absorb them. I have great respect for anybody who has a way with words, online, or otherwise.
To all the others who jested regarding the size of my derriere, you have all made an assumption, which, as you all know, makes an ass out of you and me. (But hey, at least we’re all getting some ass.) Your assumption that I have a large behind is quite incorrect. In fact, I have caught a number of respectable men gawking at my butt. I run regularly. I workout at the gym. I’m just one of those women who will have a jiggly ass, no matter the effort. Again, I repeat, it is not large, it just bounces a lot. And no, this is not a put-down to large ladies. I used to be one, too, 120 pounds ago. Beauty comes in all sizes. And so do great asses. Wise up, grasshoppers!
I’d have to say being online makes ya waaaaay braver, I’m a buck fitty irl but on the net i’m a 250lb badass of badassitude simply cause people can’t immediately reach out and choke me.
Also maybe that jiggly buttock is so awesome that it blanks the minds of men out of total awe until you leave the room, they shake the cobwebs out and they’re all like “Damn shoulda asked that ass out!”
RSVP
: JudyPatten (03/09, 3:38PM)
Thank you my dear for your kind words. As you can imagine, it is not often that I receive a compliment on this site so, in addition to my regular practice of responding to the majority of comments – I exclude the overtly stupid and sub-literate as a matter of course – I now hasten to engage you in cordial yet intellectually penetrating dialogue.
Yes, as you say, it is true that I “have a way with words” but I think further conceptual analysis is required. As I have previously pointed out, as the face is commonly said to be the mirror of the soul, so language use, “mutatis mutandis” (as we say in Latin) is equally the mirror of the mind. This, of course, then raises the further question, “What is the nature of language use and what is its relationship with the mind?”
There is a common misconception, widespread on this site, which sees language as some sort of free-floating epiphenomenon (as we say in philosophy), simply as some kind of solitary, free-standing linguistic event. But, of course, language is nothing of the sort. Language is not some free-floating epiphenomenon but rather it is the bearer of meaning, the visible evidence of reflection. But what is reflection?
In a word, so to speak, reflection is the embodiment of thought which is itself the embodiment of ideas. So, to trace the conceptual roots of the phrase “to have a way with words” necessarily entails winnowing our way down to conceptual bedrock, to the idea(s) which engender language use. Put differently, there can be no coherent language use apart from its foundation in ideas. In still other words, language is crystallized thought.
Of course, as you no doubt have observed, on this site thought is in short supply. One reads the comments and, by imaginative projection, one hopes to encounter the mind behind them. Sadly, it is frequently the case that there is, in fact, no mind behind them, at least not one which embodies what might, even minimally, be called reflection. But such is life.
So what are you doing after work?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
You have way too much time on your hands, you should write a book MM. “How to english on the interwebz” or something. You can be the real guy in the “welcome to the internet, i’ll be your guide” picture meme’s!!” This is how i picture you being all you can be.
http://alligator-sunglasses.com/post/14373…
People are thirstier online, and probably braver. You can’t just go around approaching women on the street. Or maybe you take really good pictures? I’d take you out, I like jiggly butts.
“You can’t just go around approaching women on the street.”
Ain’t that the truth… glancing half a second too long and they’re already reaching for the rape whistle.
As soon as you bring up looks, they immediately think we’re trying to hit it and quit it.
I’m sure LOTS of people are cooler online than they are ftf.
Riddle: What’s the difference between a big ass woman and a woman with a big ass? (From the movie barbershop–look it up-I don’t remember the answer)
so a real person wrote this? cool. men are usually shy in person, nice men anyway.
and like several here have already said they are scared to approach a woman. worried it will be taken the wrong way (because assholes have no hesitation about approaching women and ruin it for the nice guys)
help them out by giving a really big smile to a guy who you like the looks of. it costs nothing, may help him get up his nerve. sometimes women have to make the first move.
(jiggley bums are sexy on women)