So, I’ll set the scene. It’s 5:45am in the morning, last Saturday. I had gotten off work at 5:30am, so I was looking forward to relaxing and enjoying my day. I was walking up the left side of the Bridge Terminal and a “gentleman” was walking toward me on the right side of the sidewalk. I gave him some berth as I hate getting too close to people, but the next thing I knew BAM! He cold-clocked me in the face. Stunned and pretty damn surprised, he grabbed onto me and said “Give me your fucking backpack now.” No way I’m giving up anything to some shitbag. All I could say was “WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK,” still in shock. He then re-phrased his demand into “Give me your fucking bag now or I’ll slit your fucking throat, I have a knife.” Nope, not happening. I had to scream bloody murder for a good 10-15 seconds before he managed to get me on my ass, but I was a bit more agile, and I rolled him backwards off of me. By this time the Terminal security came out and the “gentleman” took off running. The only thing I thought to yell was “RUN YOU FUCKING PUSSY RUN!”, with blood drooling out of my face. He got into a Nissan and left with his lights off.
Hey asshole, if you can read this, you need to seriously learn how to rob people. You didn’t even get anything! Who the fuck say “Give me your backpack”? Wanna know what was in it? 1x can of Monster, 1x stick of deodorant, 1x phone charger, and a jacket. Oh yeah, the empty NSLC bags too. I hope you feel like an idiot. Can’t even take a backpack from someone? What a failure… —Red Concrete
This article appears in Nov 29 – Dec 5, 2012.
Item: BACKPACK
+1 Agility
+1 Anti-theft
+3 Post confrontation courage
-2 Hand to Hand combat
Seriously tho, that sucks OB. That’s the second Beating Bitch this week.
You win LTWWB with that comment Cpt. Well played, sir.
Shitty OP. Take comfort that he failed at the last resort of a failure.
nice one, almost getting stabbed to death on the bride over an empty backpack!
That’s fucked up OP, but really?! You wanted to die over some deodorant or was it just (straight) male bravado? And now the next time that guy wants someone’s backpack, they get knifed – no warning…
I do what I can, Styles… I do what I can
So now I’m left with the impression that you have taught him how to properly rob someone. I will now carry an empty backpack at all times in preparation for a succesful mugging.
so many dislikes figure I’d come in again,
If someone threatens you with a knife, give them whatever they want. Life isnt a kung fu movie, and OP has proven he is not much of a fighter by his getting “sucker punched” head on. Not sure why anyone would risk thier life over trivial material posessions.
Consider yourself lucky OB. It could have turned out differently and for what? 1 x can of Monster, 1x stick of deodorant, 1x phone charger, and a jacket. Oh yeah, the empty NSLC bags too. That’s real smart.
lowcoaster – I know what you’re saying and I agree, it’s not worth dying over a thing. Things can be replaced, lives can’t.
Then there’s people (like the OB, and me at times) who don’t act, they react, no thought, just instinct. You know, the ‘ole fight-flight-freeze thing.
OB – next time, give the asshole your fucking back-pack, then scream and call the cops.
daniel, is that you again? i thought we already went thru this bitch the other day?
Empty threats from a puss jacker… I also hand over nothing to anyone.
Having a death wish justifies this.
We’re a rare breed…especially given our tendencies.
i’ve never been jumped, i don’t know what i’d do. probably poo/pee in my pants or kill someone, so don’t try to rob me, cause either way it will get messy
BM
No it’s not me. What happened to me did happen and I’ve got the cop you can call if you want. You can just say you’re a concerned family member and are wondering how the case is going.
What’s with all the fucking cowardly hipsters in the bitch section anway? Always sucking the cops ass’ anytime someone bitches about police mistreatment? Always blaming the bitter. You know what OB, good on you for not giving this lowlife your shit just because they threatened you. I wouldn’t have either, even if it was only a stick of deoderant. you little pussies need to grow a fucking spine.
bitcher*
Tell us how, using punching. Also, I would so kick your ass bro. IRL. Straight up. It’s a fact. Knuckle sandwich time. The ol’ one two. Just kidding, Internet McHardasfug. I don’t even have arms.
Ploopy
Tall words. I’ve been in fights before where I’ve lost, and I’ve been in fights before where I’ve won.
That shot of adrenaline is fight or flight. I’m not sure what the poster of this thread felt at that time, but that man Sunday morning was dumb enough to do something really stupid.
Tall words from you.
I ask you:
Do you always imagine yourself when you talk?
and don’t worry, I’m not a hipster.
If anyone came at me like that, I would do all the things I have never done before like a knee cap to the nose or a thumb in the eye, elbow in the windpipe. Try this on the bridge, and you are going over the railing. Don’t expect me to stand toe to toe and box with you like a sportsman.
Did the offender have a hot girlfriend driving the getaway car?
What’s with these violent early risers? Daniel gets attacked at 5 A.M. OP gets sucker-punched at 5:45 A.M.
I’ve never been mugged so I really don’t know how I would react, I could voluntarily give up my belongings or I could try and kill the mofo, hopefully the former.
BTW Daniel, were you at the Akerley Blvd Burnside Tim Horton’s at around 8:30 Thursday evening?
tf
Couldn’t have been me I was at work at that time. Us thick eyebrow people have look a likes everywhere lol.
I would like to attend the next summit though, since I have been on this site quite a bit lately.
Daniel, maybe to you they are tall words because you ware a whiney little shit. Next time get curb stomped.
IRL bro. 4 realzies.
i think the comments in this post may help explain why war will always be with us.
OMG I can’t believe this! At that hour in the morning? I used to do my walk at around that hour. I guess I will wait till daylight in future. Yes give the asshole the backpack. Is it worth your life? There are a lot of idiots out there nowadays, the snakes used to crawl at night. No more. Anytime of day is a good time for them to rob people. Wouldn’t you love to have a nice little revolver in your pocket. Then you could give them what they really need. This post makes me absolutely sick. What is this world coming to?
First let me state that I’ve never been robbed or the victim of a random act of violence, so I have no idea how I’d react. Probably like what Painey said. But it seems to me that this wasn’t about deodorant. It was about power. As in, we have so little in our lives. We work. We come home. We deal with asshole bosses, arrogant bus drivers, indifferent sales clerks, useless bureaucrats and so on. We pay taxes. We pay for our food, shelter, warmth. And we try to sandwich in a moderately decent life on what’s left in the face of seemingly endless passive aggression. And then out of the blue comes a gutless subhuman who has made the conscious decision that he is a predator and we are prey. Nothing more, nothing less. And the OP decides to take a stand. No fucking more. And makes him run like the craven piece of waste he is. Imagine the atavistic joy of getting the thug to the ground and pounding his face to pulp before the police arrive. Of making this one malignant throwback the focal point of every wrong, every humiliation, every mistreatment you’ve ever experienced.
I know, there’s a hundred and one reasons, both ethical and logical, why it’s wrong to think this way. And there’s a thousand and one ways it could have gone terribly wrong for the O.P.
But for one brief shining moment he had some real power in his life. And I salute him for that.
yes! i could not add anything to what you have said, i am just filled with the accuracy of it.
i shall listen to dire straits and think.
Knopfler Rawks! And for those who think there haven’t been enough songs about famous surveyors:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrLdKYRBOEE
The Journal Of Ploopy, entry 12857 2:40am
Well journal, I just had my tenth beer and the have been using the penis pump on my shriveled, angry member for an hour now. I think I am ready to respond to those losers on the bitch blog like only Ploopy can. There has never been, nor will there ever be an internet tough guy like me! “Daniel, maybe to you…”
Yes! I did it, journal! I am SO money! Sweeeeet, Entourage is on!
This man- crush just got Bromantical, Vinnie Chase. Ploopy out.
What goes on at these summits? If you tell me, will you have to kill me? Lol! I keep seeing talk about them & I’m curious
Email Pretty Kitty, Daniel,. She is the authority on everything Bitch Summit related
A bunch of us regulars meet for lunch. Tasty food, plentiful libations , lots of loud, raucous laughter, embarrassed looks from significant others who have come along (Sorry, SOBova).
They’ve been going on for nearly 2 years now. It’s an amazingly diverse group in age and occupation but we all have one big thing in common. We like to laugh. All are welcome.
And it usually ends in a blood orgy. *Kidding, Kidding>: )
Email Pretty Kitty, Nurse. I promise, there’s no threat to your life from the disclosure of this confidential information. In fact, if anyone tries to kill you, I promise to get VERY upset. Honestly, there could be tears!
We also like to show photos of our cats
You Know Depeche Mel ….I gotta thank you for making the above posat.
I was almost ….almost feeling the slightest hint of curiosity about attending a summit …then I read about the cat photo’s !
I’ll definately take a pass … I’d rather watch Justin Beaver vid’s than go through that ! Any of you know what’s tougher to do after a Justin vid …scoop yer eyeballs out with a spoon to help erase the visuals …or shoving the pointed narrow object into yer eardrums to erase any chance of ever hearing him again !
THe eyeballs is probably messier, but both would need to be done !
Ok Cap’n, with you by my side, I fear NOTHING!!
It sounds like good times…I wouldn’t mind meeting some of you crazy bastids! LOL
A bloody orgy sounds fun…minus the blood…and the orgy lol
i don’t think they put real blood in their bloody caesars. some of us have dog pictures, mr more
I think people with differing, even colliding ideologies should be able to sit around a table and enjoy bacon together. Even those in the dog/cat camps. If that can’t happen, all hope is lost.
“i refuse to join any club that would have me as a member” hope is all we have fs
You don’t have to look a the animals, More. You can show us pictures of your truck or the forest around your home.
Mmmmmmmmm….bacon.
Yes, Furiously masturbating, I generally am drunk when I comment on these forums. But right now, I’m sober and I still think you’re pretty lame. I really do enjoy your rage at my opinions that are critical of you, any time of day, though. Please keep it coming. Just don’t kid yourself into thinking that I give any more than zero fucks. 🙂
Yes. Rage. No, dearest Ploopy, this is the first time I have seen your handle on this forum. Are you critical of me, Ploopy? That is encouraging, given my experience with you thus far. Are tou aware there are twoish of me? What can I do to improve? Stomp some fuckin pussies? The fuck outta here. You are dissapointing.
I would have dazzled him with my footwork.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
…or philosophied the hell out of him @ MM! Before anyone says philosophied isn’t a word, I just made it one 🙂
*philosophized* is a real word^^
Thanks Painey! I knew I was warm! Lol
Now the dog photo’s would be nice to see. & bacon ….how can anyone refuse bacon !
Anyone else ever have chocolate covered bacon ?
The first time I seen/tried it was in New Orleans about 6 or 7 years ago … Now I make it for an xmas treat for company, many have expressed doubt and even a bit of dismay when they first see it.
I have never yet, had any left overs !
ploopy
You remind me of that guy everybody remembers from high school, but can’t really remember why they remember him.
i’ve noticed lots of cookie recipes with bacon, maybe next year
🙂 Daniel, you remind me of some balding middle aged guy that reads poetry and eyeballs young women until they are uncomfortable and have to leave the coffee shop.
Furious Masturbator…I don’t know how many there are of you. One is really too much. You could improve by maybe killing yourself I guess? I dunno. Maybe you can’t improve. But hey, you can always try, right?
Well, I’d love to stay and chat with you rejects but…well, no I wouldn’t.
Peace.
I will try my damndest, poopy. Good thing you don’t care though. A quick glance at your profile reveals you are only here to cruise zZz anyway. I am sure you have other strangers to drunkenly suggest getting curb stomped, so don’t let me keep you. If you could be more specific in what your problem is with me, maybe I could accomadate you. Y’know, since 10 percent of your total posts reference me in some way. Now go shotgun a beer and then cry, Poopy. The rejects have rejected you.
The rejects can reject me until Jesus Christ returns from the mothership to send you all to hell, I’m still gonna troll you until I am finished crying into my cheap beer that I probably pan-handled to buy or something clever like that. Maybe even after that. Daniel needs a good curb stompin’, everyone can see it, only I, Ploopy (make sure it’s a capitol P) have the magnificent balls to say it. You sensitive types are really annoying and your moms don’t even like you. That’s right, I said it. Yo mama. See you in hell Furious masturbator. (from heaven)
Sincerely,
Ploopy
P.S. I love you. Sexually.
Ploopy
Why don’t you even show your face if you’re so tough.
I’ve been jumped before, bunch of chicks who didn’t like me. Not a nice experience, but at least two of them lost teeth, of which I am proud.
That wasn’t a threat by the way. Just making a point.
That’s okay Daniel, I wasn’t there either.
Cruise zZz? Wtf does that mean? I certainly don’t feel like I’m being cruised…..
It’s not anything dirty, is it?
Read Poopy’s comments. He wants the zZz flange, you dark and complicated creature you 😉
WHAT IS A WORD?
: NurseHezz (12/01, 4:16PM)
“Before anyone says philosophied isn’t a word, I just made it.”
Paingirl (4:36PM)
“‘philosophized’ is a real word.”
Here we have the classic philosophical debate as to the nature of words in particular and that of language in general. For NH a word is a word by virtue of the use which the speaker/writer intends. For NH “philosophied” is a legitimate word.
On the other hand, for PG, “philosophized” is a “real word” because it denoted a specific activity by virtue of which it acquires its legitimacy. People can think about many things – science, literature, politics and so on – but they are not engaging in the activity of philosophizing. “Philosophizing” has distinctive features by virtue of which it is an activity of a particular sort.
For NH, PG’s answer to the question “What is a word?” is overly restrictive, constraining its meaning to accepted usage. For NH, PG’s view of the word “philosophized” as being a “real word” places illegitimate restrictions on what, after all, is a generalized activity, often equated with the word “thinking” itself. NH has, intellectually speaking, a liberal position.
For PG, on the other hand, NH’s free-wheeling coining of words erases their proper denotative reference and ultimately reduces words in particular and language in general to an unruly chaos. It destroys meaning, properly conceived. It is, intellectually speaking, a conservative position.
So who is right? In a sense they both are. Language, which consists of words, is a living thing and cannot be artificially constrained. But language, which consists of words, must have delimited meaning. Otherwise coherent language becomes an impossibility.
So there you are. I’m glad to have been of help in resolving the philosophical dilemma relating to the legitimacy of the usage of “philosophied” vs.”philosophizing.”
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Daniel, I don’t show my face cause it’s too ugly, people would have horrible dreams and I don’t want that on my conscience do you? Also, I never said I was tough, that’s what you said. And thank you, I suppose my stubble is pretty sand-paper like and my arms that of iron beams and my penis that of a two-headed anaconda.
Wow, Ploopy you are a better troll then me. You must have alot more experience not having a real life. Furious Styles you have made me laugh for the first time on this thread. Because of that, if you make me laugh again I will assume another identity. If this happens, then I reserve the right at anytime to take over your screen name and picture if you resort to childish insults again.
And Ploopy, you do pretend to be a tough guy. No one buys it because “yo mama” pays your internet bill.
GV, I’d love to see you get someone over the railing of the MacDonald Bridge. Most people who try to play hero usually wind up getting badly hurt. If you don’t know how to defend yourself, give up the damn bag. BTW watching wrestling or anything else on TV doesn’t make you a fighter. Even trained one has to be careful, especially if the assailant brings out a weapon. Internet toughness is one thing, real life quite another.
Bro Tim, well put again. I missed the over the railing part of Great Value’s rant, those are pretty high railings to knock someone over, lol.
Wow, Painey! I believe we have just been philosophicated!! (Taken from Hezzie’s New World Dictionary) Lol!
Thank you for your analysis, MM. It has been a pleasure, as always. 😉
in the bitch vortex all words are real and “all bets are off”
And “all gloves come off”! 🙂
Oh, and…chocolate covered bacon…mmmmmmmmmm
Hey Ploopy… 1987 called and wants it’s “yo mama” jokes back! Even the shitty ones you use.
Hey Oprah, South Park called and want their joke back.
Actually my mother died when I was 3, thanks for bringing back all the painful memories, guys. Wow, I can’t believe how heartless and cold you are. Making fun of someone’s dead mother – must make you feel like big men. With tall, tall words. Big tough, tall word-speaking internet goons and nothing more.
But seriously, no my mom’s doin’ good. It’s kind of funny, though, that you all assume I couldn’t actually be a tough-looking guy who doesn’t get fucked with and doesn’t know how to fight…or that if someone tried to jump me I wouldn’t fight back. You have no idea where I am from or what things I may have done/had done to me…really, you just base this on the fact that I’m commenting on an internet forum, so I MUST be a wimpy hipster-coward leaching off of their parents. Makes sense when you see the people posting on here. But I do think you’re projecting your own inadequacies on to me which is all good in and around the hood. I have fun pissing you losers off.
Hey Oprah, yo mama so dumb she puts lipstick on her forehead just to make-up here mind!
Sincerely
P. Loopy
he can’t read it.
Does anyone else think The Captain would make an excellent Mal Reynolds? (He is already a captain, after all. :P)
he walks the walk!
Damn Straight, 195!. I’d follow him anywhere…except maybe a vegan resto, but that’s just the way Uncle Vanya rolls.
Henceforth, the Keptin’s fixie shall be known to all and sundry as “Serenity”
Wow, I don’t think you could have paid me a higher compliment! Mal? Really? I don’t know if I can fill those shoes, but it’s reassuring to know I’ve got an impromptu crew if the need arises and the world needs saving.
We’ve got the right people with the right skill sets, here on LTWWB, to man this crazy ship.
i call shotgun
i want these guys along too
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=f309f…
gorgeous creatures, so smart
I had to google Mal Reynolds. I know that guy as Castle.
http://www.ctv.ca/Castle.aspx
“More like..Sexspionage”
He also appeared in the last episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He SandyDuncaned that whiny little bitch Xander real good!
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb2011…