To the lady who stared at me the entire time we were waiting for the number 18 to show up in Clayton Park, and then proceeded to push me out of the way to get on the bus and only mumble “Sorry”, Learn some manners.
It is people like you that I’m looking at leaving the city, despite everyone telling me it’s “Nice and accepting and why would you want to leave?”. I’m sick of all this BS. Maritimers need ot learn some manners, especially for those of us who don’t conform to society’s standards of Gender. Just because i wear female clothing and have facial hair (Which I cannot get rid of because I’m currently doing Laser Hair Removal and my face hurts), does not give you the right to treat me like dirt. I am expressing myself the only way I know how.
I am sick of people treating me like shit because I look different and I’m not what you consider “normal”. What is normal anyways? And for all of you people out there who think Halifax is wonderful, I implore you to open your eyes and look around.
As soon as I pay off the five grand I owe, I’m out of here.
—Sick of Halifax
This article appears in Mar 12-18, 2009.
Some people are disgusting human beings, OP, and the lacewood terminal has no shortage of ’em, lemme tell ya.
These people feed off of treating others who are “different” like shit because it makes them feel better about their sorry sad little lives. You’re probably 100x the person this asshole is, so remember that.
I seriously don’t know how people can justify treating anyone, let alone strangers, like shit. I suppose people can chalk it up to the fact that they probably won’t ever see them again. Friend of mine got into it with this person once on the bus. Went to a job interview for a job they really wanted about a week later and turned out the one doing the hiring was the one she got into it with on the bus. She didn’t get the job.
Although I don’t believe in the “karma will come around to bite you in the ass” bit, these people will get theirs someday.
Maybe you’re jumping to conclusions here. Based upon what you’ve wrote OP, you feel they’re barging in front of you because you feel you’re not “normal”. Ever stop and think that they’re just being dicks? It sounds like you’re making this bigger than it is. Just a thought, based upon what you’ve wrote.
I’m pretty sure it’s possible for someone to just “be a dick” and also “be a dick to someone because they’re different” at the same time. After all this IS Nova Scotia 😛
Wierd story PK.
Suck it up Pretty Kitty!!! it’s not about you. Stop crying over shit that has nothing to do with you. Assholes live everywhere. You met one. It was rude. Congratulations….now suck it up princess and get on with your life!
I treat people the way they treat me. If they’re shitty, I go out of my way to be shittier. Most people can’t take being challenged and will back down if you persist. It takes the steam out of their venting. Many people can’t do the confrontational but, believe me, it comes in handy when dealing with difficult assholes. The first rule is that you don’t lose your cool.
WTF, AlterEgo? All I said was that some people suck and are mean to others because it makes them feel better about themselves and that if the asshole who was a dick to the OP will probably get theirs in the end and cited an example of this happening.
I really don’t see why you’re such a raging cunt over my post, AlterEgo and I really don’t see why my post makes this bitch “all about [me]” when all I was doing is supporting the OP. Who the fuck pissed in your cornflakes this morning?
Anyone who says they don’t stare at someone unusual, and seeing someone dressed as a female with facial hair (whether male or female) would qualify, as would pink mohawks, etc, are liars. Just like people who rubberneck through accident scens. It’s unusual. To stare is a normal human reaction, As for butting in? It happens all over the place regardless what one looks like. The OP didn’t say the person made rude remarks or anything.
Ya, because when you’re a dude with facial hair dressed in female clothing Halifax is the only place where people will stare at you.
I’m not saying it’s right, but, if you expect to be treated differently elsewhere you most likely are going to be extremely disappointed.
the sad part is some people take the second and third glances to see how comfortable the person is… at least I do.
Ok, I may not be SOME people but I’m assuming there are more like me who look maybe that one extra second longer than we likely should because we’re trying to determine something about their characteristics. Not thinking they’re a freak.
I wish I had the panache to wear what I want and look how I want every day wherever I go. I see those that dye their hair odd colors and I’m usually thinking… wonder where they found that vibrant an orange… or see tats and piercing and wonder where they were done because surely the place must be good if they’ve gone back that many times.
As for this scenario, just know that not everyone that peeks that extra time or two has “oober judgemental hoser” written on their face. Some people are curious about the unknown… some simply resort to fearing it.
I’m glad you brought this point up, zzz. I’m just like you in that way. I often find myself looking at unconventional people for longer than is really polite, but it’s more likely with interest and appreciation rather than judgement and disapproval. I look pretty mainstream now, but I didn’t always. I’m too old to pull off that kind of look with any dignity now. But I can still appreciate it.
You like to dress as a female. I’ve no problem with that.But I do have a question…if your going for the female look , why not shave ?
I’m not sure where everyone lives at who posts here…but around here the number of women with really noticiable facial hair is, well it’s zero.
I’m with Raoul. This poor chick is going to be sorely disappointed when she gets to Toronto and finds that people there will stare at a girl with a 5-o-clock-shadow just as much as people here will.
The thing is she’ll probably move to the gay ghetto, get a job in the gay ghetto, and socialize exclusively in the gay ghetto, never leaving Church St. and feeling more accepted, thereby confirming in her mind that Halifax is the problem, forgetting entirely that feeling the need to hide in any ghetto means that the broader city she lives in must be no more accepting that the one she ran away from.
Wow, long sentence.
And OP, no offense if you don’t in fact prefer to be referred to as “she”. I’ve assumed you’re working on transitioning since you mentioned laser hair removal…
The OP writes, “…those of us who don’t conform to society’s standards of Gender…”
Is that like opposing “society’s standards” of separating the sexes into, for example, men’s washrooms vs women’s washrooms? Is it like clothing made to fit the frame of a man versus those made to fit a woman? Are these the kind of “societal standards” you’re referring to, OP, and why would you ever think such “standards” should be relaxed? Are we, all of a sudden, to observe the trans/gay community, like shoes for girls versus shoes for guys versus the special cut for those in between? Or update health education to say that male is a boy, except for when he’s not a boy… er, whatever. How, exactly, is society supposed to conform to those who don’t and why do you expect it here, there, anywhere?
You should expect the staring, OP. It’s rude, yes. Is it disrespectful? Maybe. It’s a normal human reaction to the SHOCK VALUE you portray and WISH to affect on others (receiving acknowledgment “expressing yourself”).
If you were an egg and saw a sperm walking by dressed up like an egg, pretending to be a real-for-real egg actually competing with you for the attention of other sperm, you too would look twice if not have yourself a little giggle over a futile and obvious rouse. You may even become competitive since you’re “the real deal” and everything.
Did you consider the girl at the bus stop was treating you like another girl by showing her feminine superiority? (these girls are called bitches and they’ll steal your boyfriend’s heart if you’re not careful) Maybe you offended her by trying to compete. Maybe you should give yourself a pat on the back instead of bitching. You very well may have accomplished your idiot mission.
You are seriously twisted Kay. Does this shit go thru your head all the time?
“If you were an egg and saw a sperm walking by dressed up like an egg, pretending to be a real-for-real egg actually competing with you for the attention of other sperm, you too would look twice if not have yourself a little giggle over a futile and obvious rouse. You may even become competitive since you’re “the real deal” and everything.”
Um, that’s just fucked.
OP, sometimes you get just what you expect from people. Stop concerning yourself with what’s in others heads, as we can all see from Kay’s last comment here, you don’t always want to know what’s in there…
Also, others can only treat you as you allow them to. People here are scared of their own shadows and that’s why they act so weird around different people. It’s not necessarily malicious…
I thought my post was pretty cool, BSB. I even conceded that the OP was successful at “expressing himself” evident by the girl’s poor treatment of him which is typical of how competing females treat each other. What more do you want from “society”?
“If you were an egg and saw a sperm walking by dressed up like an egg, pretending to be a real-for-real egg actually competing with you for the attention of other sperm, you too would look twice if not have yourself a little giggle.”
Love it! Don’t necessarily agree with the moral of the story, but love it anyway…
I really, really, really, really want to see someone with Flash media authoring skills whip us up a little cartoon of this scenario. That would fucking rock.
LOL I think I missed you Jammie. Welcome back.
ok people, I got this one…
I’ve figured it out with Kay…
Splurge on that one extra toke and you MAY understand….
P1. reciting portion of the OP bitch.
P2. I don’t understand people who do not completely conform to sociological standards.
P3. People are uptight.
P4. I do not like halloween.
P5. Women be CRAZY sometimes.
You’re welcome.
I think you’re jumping to conclusions too.
Think, she could have been blind…
Aren’t you recommended to shave when you’re undergoing laser hair removal therapy?
True, even though that contradicts the whole point.
By the way zZz, you completely hit the nail on the head.
Dino and zZz… perhaps the next time you consider posting here you’ll do so with something relevant to the OP. Your “kay rants” are quite boring and contribute nothing useful especially when they say “what” but never “why”. At least try and justify your opinions here, bitches.
Clayton Park is definitely not the most friendly spot for people who don’t necessarily confine to societal standards. I was on a bus a couple of months ago, and a transgirl I know was standing at a bus stop on Willett. The driver completely drove past the girl, even though she was at the stop, on time, waving her arms for him to stop. Some people are pricks.
It’s easy for people to say that you are being paranoid, or that some people are just jerks, but shitty things seem to happen to people who don’t look “normal” a hell of a lot more than to people who do.
Hey little Marmalade Kitten without a handle, I don’t think you can blame any one part of the city as being more rude or ignorant, i.e. Clayton Park, it is everywhere.
OP I don’t think you should paint all Maritimers with the rude/ignorant brush. I am a Maritimer and I am not like that, I am neither rude nor ignorant. When I see someone who looks different, my only reasons for staring a few “seconds” longer than is deemed appropriate is because I am checking out your fashion, your bravery to be who you are and that perhaps it would be interesting to get to know you. Meat and potatoes can get a little boring. So please don’t look down on all of us, we need to be given a chance too. Yes it appears that Ms. Shovey has an etiquette problem and maybe she actually didn’t see you and didn’t mean to shove you and you are being over sensitive due to past treatments or….maybe she really was just being a dick. I lived in TO for 4 years, believe me there is all kinds of rudeness and ignorance waitin’ there. Even if you sequester yourself in the Church Street area, you will find rudeness and ignorance there too. I wish you all the best. :o)
Oh I guess you do have a handle LMK, hi Lindsay, your handle wasn’t showing up when I made my post, tee hee.
I just want to add something else. I wish people would stop using the word ignorant to mean the word rude. Ignorance means not having knowledge of something and rude means lacking refinement or delicacy and offensive in manner or action. K! LOL
And another thing upon further contemplation, it appears Ms. Shovey might suffer from both and in my opinion, most people who are rude probably suffer from ignorance as well…and in the words of Forrest Gump “that’s all I got to say about that”.