Ok, Like Peter Finch said…”I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Every god damn morning trying to get into work, I have to take Hollis Street, and every god damn morning there are multitudes of morons who decide to turn the left lane of Hollis, you know…the one with signs all over it that not only say “No Parking” but “No Stopping” into a long, thin parking lot! You first run into it outside of the 1801 Hollis building, then Founder’s Square, then in front of the hotel and finally the Ralston building, essentially turning Hollis, a main traffic artery, into a single lane! This causes all kinds of swerving and other dangerous behaviour putting motorists, and those sainted and danger loving bicyclists in real peril. That’s like saying “Sure, I know what I’m doing is making life dangerous for you…but what do you expect? Me to be slightly inconvenienced by finding a real parking space? Out of the question!”
But you can help. I urge you to very carefully, spit on their friggen windshields! That’s what I’m going to do. If you’re stuck in a jam and you’re right next to one of these idiots, roll down the friggen window and loogie right on their windows! They won’t find it too convenient if, when they come back from their lawyers office from meeting about their latest nonsense lawsuit, they find their car’s covered in green hawker! Power to the people! —Loogie God
This article appears in Jul 19-25, 2012.
Using expectoration as a “revolutionary act” says more about the spitter than it does about the target. None of it good. Keep your lung butter to yourself and stick to writing a cunty note to put on the windshield, assuming you can form a coherent sentence. And if this is our resident “anarcho-primitivist” who once bragged about hogging on the front seat of a Porsche – go take a flying suck off of Chomsky’s left teste.
Now that the race is on for a new slate of the same old deadbeats, erm I mean a fresh crop of outstanding candidates running for a reduced council – a call to the councillor that looks after that area might work wonders. I’ve called HRM’s finest in the past where scofflaws were doing things to piss me off and they came out and ticketed and towed.
Parking a big green gilbert on the hood of a Saturn is hardly in the same league as Nelson Mandela is it?
But, those no parking signs only apply to other people, you know, people who are going to be gone more than “five minutes”. Fuckem, call parking authority and have them towed. When they have to cab it to Goodwood and pay 250 bucks to get their car back, they may learn a valuable lesson.
OB…while I agree with your wish for immediate satisfaction, so spit , shit or throwing up on the illegally parked vehicle will give you that instant zing you are craving…. I gotta agree with the other poster who said, call & complain. You may not get that instant feeling of physically doing something about it. But it’s going to cost the asshole a lot more to pay the fine & or go retrieve the vehicle from an impound, than a drive through car wash.
silly string works good too. and it’s a bitch to get off on a really hot day. even more so if it has been sitting on the glass baking for awhile. but driving by is good too. makes a real fucking big smear, all over the glass when they turn on wipers.
they’re always there… not just mornings.
I’ve pretty much given in to the fact that hollis is a 1 laner and is still the quickest way to traverse downtown.
A lot of the spaces on that left side of Hollis are taken up by service people such as the copier guy, couriers or others. There just aren’t parking spaces in downtown Halifax to compliment the demands made by all the businesses and government departments there. Particularly in the case of the couriers where time means everything and the difference between making a living or not are razor thin.
spark plug on a bungee cord…enough said.