I still have a crush on an older guy, but I dunno how to ask him to hang out because it’s probably inappropriate in some weird way. I message you but it wasn’t so great, but I dunno how to say what I really want to say. If you think you know who this is, do you want to hang out with me? lol —From Young Girl, But Not That Young
This article appears in Nov 1-7, 2012.
Hey OP, I think you should ask this guy to have coffee….suggest a place to meet that is not too noisy, but interesting….maybe art gallery first, then coffee…be yourself, hang out, chat, listen…resist the urge to run if you are nervous, unless you are nervous for your safety, resist the urge to bring up past boyfriends, resist the urge to doubt yourself…EMBRACE the adventure!!! You aren’t staring at the Temple of Doom here, or looking into the Crystal Skull…if he was cool with exchanging contact info, then he is probably interested, but feeling nervous, much like you perhaps…text him and ask him for coffee and some hang time in a space both of you enjoy (park, paint ball, art gallery, the movies [like a one-night-only thing–sometimes they have them on Thurs/Fri at Bayer’s Lake, and at the Oxford], beach walk…whatever)…putting yourself out there can make life a fun adventure…when we decide to hold back, we often miss out on a lot of cool times….and i think the regret of not trying may last longer than your current anxiety…believe in yourself and go for it, and never be sorry that you did!
Sage advice SheSang.
Thanks Troodon:)
If this person is unattached, then go for it because you’re getting all stalkery. It’s ok. I was stalkery for a much older man myself last year.
If this person is attached, back off. For your own sake as well as everyone else involved. If you go after someone attached, you will not be important to this person. You will be something to be used.
Also maturate your communication skills. And know when you’re beaten. If all signs point to no, don’t pursue it because the person isn’t interested.
But if there isn’t anything in your way, it doesn’t hurt to put yourself out there, provided this person doesn’t employ you. You’re no worse off if they say no. If you ask, the worst case scenario is that nothing changes except how you feel. and that’s no big deal. That shit is temporary.
and if he doesn’t bite, try me, i’m always up for grabs.
and crayons, i still love you too. let’s get together, soon.