A couple of days ago I went to a local grocery retailer to purchase some already cooked lobsters. All I asked was for the older woman working in the seafood department to cut my lobsters in half. Never been a big deal before but… well she gave me a rude look, a huffy sigh and started to tell me her life story about having arthritis. What the fuck!! I told her I wasn’t interested in her story only getting my lobster. Then she tried to switch the focus over to not having the proper knife to cut them. WTF?? I’ve had fully cooked lobster cut length-wise many a times with no fuss. Sorry lady but your whole “fake pity me” attitude was easy to see though. Are you this rude to all your customers? —I’m gonna shop somewhere else next time….
This article appears in Dec 30, 2010 – Jan 5, 2011.
WTF, you can’t cut your own fucking lobsters. Now if they were cut in half you’d probably bitch about them not being full lobsters.
Bro makes a good point OP. Why exactly can’t you bisect your own lobsters? Arthritis or lack of a good knife?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iSssOpLTPM
Wow – I would have thrown you an eye dagger myself, you lazy fuck.
Would someone clear up ….Why would you want a lobster cut lengthwise in two ?
I mean the damn things were designed for ease of entry !
Break off tail from body.
Tear off large claws & front legs
pull ‘walking’ leg section away from top carapace.
You can get anywhere you need to extract meat now…all you need is a small paring knife, or knuckle cracker & your done !
sounds like they’re prepping it ala
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msDAgokhPJA
my ex couldn’t eat a lobster if he saw it whole – had to do with seeing the animal. Couldn’t eat turkey if he saw it before it was carved either. weird I grant you but perhaps the OP has the same phobia?
Good Morning Cinco.
Did my post get deleted because I told the OB what to do?
Morning again Ivan, I suggested that the OB was clumsy with knives, and that arthritis hurts.
More, you cut in two to make lobster thermidor (a waste), or surf & turf for two.
In a weird twist, the LTTWB Crew is pouncing on the poster/customer who is complaining about not receiving the service asked for, regardless of whether or not it is the right thing or not. A sad beginning to a new year.
As an aside, I long for the days of butcher shops and fish sellers that existed independent of grocery stores.
Hugo…thanks for that, but at the $5.00 price tag for lobster its not a stretch to think you could afford 2 ~;)
I often ask the fish guy to take the skins off of salmon for me, and sometimes I get weird looks, sometimes not. I need to buy myself a fillet knife.
Anyway, still, they should be able to help you, they’re there to give you a good shopping experience, aren’t they? Stick to places where you find it. And don’t bother going back to the places where they’re rude or unwilling ot serve you. You’ll make everyone happy.
Cranky, Christmas is over, so I don’t have to be nice anymore ;P
Rethinking the bitch, yes…the counter person should have gone & got someone who could have cut the lobster. Regardless, arthritis limits what you can do, and, why even buy cooked in the shell lobster, only to have it cut open ffs.
Might as well just go for the cooked meat.
It all just came across as local “you don’t know ‘ow ta eat a lobstah right do ya bai’ bullshit.
I got my x-mas eve lobstah from my cousint on the coast, within sight of the Atlantic, and even I wouldn’t think of commenting on how my inlaws from Cape Breton eat their lobster compared to how I eat mine.
ralmn… you could always *ghasp!!!!* cook it with the skin on….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSrR0CsbGWs
marinated in maple syrup beforehand… can’t be beat.
Sebastian will probably encourage the OP to call the lobster union or the stores’ head offices to complain. Or the media since news networks LOVE these stories.
when i was an apprentice, someone bet the saucier he couldn’t bite the head off a live lobster. for fifty bucks he did…he was very odd^^
was this the before picture?
http://lacult.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/…
haha, i posted that picture in the love many moons ago. he drank the ontario cellar cask brandy off the line but he was a good cook
If the lady in the fish dept has arthritis in her hands, why is she working in a position where she has to use her hands? I mean, it’s not the customer’s fault she can’t do her job and I don’t blame OP for not wanting to hear her life story.
On the other side of the coin — why couldn’t you cut the lobster yourself, OP?
OP is probably one of those people who think it’s the job of the cashier to remove items from the carts/baskets too, PK.
oh me, oh my, but aren’t we the pissy little bitcher here today. wow, the fucking earth just stopped spinning cause you could get your fucking old lobster cut. fuck’s sake fool, don’t they allow you to use knives at whatever mental ward you got a pass from. or i it just because you are a dumb ass that would probly cut your throat with a knife, even tho you were cutting something 5 feet away from it. get stuffed,ey.
i remember the first time my sister-in-law was given a whole cooked lobster. she was a trooper, but i looked through her eyes and all i saw was a giant red cockroach. we always ate lobsters outside to lessen the splatter^^
you should have seen…. the big yellow lobster…..
http://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail?pid=…
Hard to believe that lobster in the 1930s was considered poor man’s food. Other than the claws dipped in garlic butter, the rest of the beastie is wasted on me. A buddy of mine won’t eat it because she can’t stand the thought of breaking off its claws and legs with these two little beady eyes power staring up at her from the plate. I suggested a tiny skull patterned blindfold which she didn’t think was particularly funny.
Hey, zZz, a buddy of mine from Yarmouth is a good friend of one of them – heard them several years ago on an album Two Lobster and a Hotdog – pretty funny shit.
yeah, I’ve seen them.
they used to play the y’ark and small gigs… until they were (either threatened to be or actually) sued…. by nickleback I do believe.
ever weird al still asks permission…
Who buys cooked lobster anyway? Me ma always says “always buy live lobsters”…probably why I never buy lobster…that and I don’t really care for anything other than the claws like TTFN. *shrug*
Do you have to cook lobster while it is still alive? I think I read that somewhere.
That’s the best part. I love it when the water inside the ecoskeleton steams and hisses out. For some reason people think it’s screaming, especially PETAs.
PETA believes crustaceans have vocal chords and voice boxes?
Lobsters do not have to be cooked alive.
http://www.ehow.com/about_4569417_why-lobs…
I guess it is safer if you cook them alive.
I’ve had lobsters killed at the store with the swift blow of a knife blade. Cooked immediately at home, no one ever got sick from them.
I guess it is okay as long as you cook them right after they die. Come to think of it, my distant relative used to send us crabs but they were all cooked and frozen, never frozen uncooked.
NGF, PETA think all animals are cute and sentient and should be allowed to take over. Me, I’ll just eat the tasty fucks.
PETA probably think that gingers have souls and can feel pain. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous^^
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_GZayci9gGE0/STQU…
Buy your lobsters from a local fisherman, never the grocery store, and then cook them at home….at least then you know they are fresh and not refrigerated leftovers from last week.
Lobster is a nice sounding word, but when you say CRUSTACEAN the old gag reflex kicks in.
Same effect when you realise Darrell has 3 more years to go……and Peter Kelly is re-offering.
Agreed Baz. “Crustacean” sounds like what you might find in Madonna’s twozzer ; “shellfish” has that delightfully archaic JaneAusten/Merchant Ivory feel – like “aspic” or “jugged hare”. ^^
Seafood = gross. I just can’t get past the stench.
“Jugged hare”, you say? http://www.geekologie.com/2008/04/23/jessi…
Bwa-Ha-Ha-Ha. Not quite what the Brits had in mind but, by God, she’ll do! >; )
she certainly looks better than the actual dish
http://www.foodloversbritain.com/cms/cms_i…
The first time I had lobster, I was 12. I was curious after reading about it, so I bought a canner with my babysitting money. I didn’t know what to do with it and the adults I was staying with had never had it before either. In fact, they accused me of stealing it as they thought it beyond the means of a kid. So, after the grocery recipe confirmed lobster was attainable for all, we decided baking that little red lobster on 350 for an hour was probably the way to go. Needless to say, the first time I was offered lobster after I moved to Nova Scotia I declined it = ).
Good Morning to all you wage slaves 🙂
meltric – if your seafood smell like fish; it’s not fresh. If it’s the smell of cooked shells that bothers you, try cooked & shelled (no muss no fuss), but hey, if it’s not for you…..give it to me ☺.
Visual clues…barnicles and such on a lobster are an indication of lots of meat, a clean shell means a fresh molt and little meat.
Cooking – put your lobster on it’s head and stroke its back till it stops moving, then drive a sharp sturdy knife through its head, right between the eyes.
Instant death, ready for cooking. A lobster is cooked when a light but firm tug, pulls off an antenna.
Now I’m envisioning my New Years brunch – prime rib steak, lobster, bacon wrapped scallops, eggs over easy, fresh bread – ummmm yum yum.
Yikes!. careful Kimmie – in this post-wikileaks world you may just have confessed to the PETA equivalent of a war crime. >; )
hey i’m not a wage slave. i’m in the wpp^^^this is the best way to enjoy lobbies
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/40/79041078…
Thanks for the tip, Ivan. Now I’m glad I didn’t share the story I was told by a NS farmer’s wife about the traditional method of managing the barn cat population (let’s just say that once heard, people wouldn’t be so quick to dump their cats off at the end of the farmer’s lane).
Good Morning Hugo. Are you going some place for NY Brunch or preparing your own?
Ohh Painey – That picture looks good enought to eat^^
aah, it’s the smell of the sea that draws this bitch…one of my fondest memories is digging clams in parrsboro, put them in a bucket with cornmeal and water then boil them on the beach. no plates no utensils…nirvana
Summer of 79, my Aunt, Uncle ,cousins and I did the same up near Tata….Good Times, good times.
what charmed lives we’ve led eh commander?
Wouldn’t trade it for the world. Rawk! You doing anything fun tonight?
You just described my Mom and Dad’s honeymoon, paingirl (they had no money).
I’ll make my own brunch Ivan, lol – that meal would probably cost $80.00ea. I also have a bottle of ’95 Pol Roger, Cuvee Sir Winston Churchill, if I can find someone to share 😉
paingirl, what does the cornmeal do? Sounds interesting.
Kim – I made the mistake once of BBQing lobster, the legs were ruined and nothing special about the taste, beach boiling/steaming is best.
*gharlfarlflarflarl* I think I need to go to wherever Hugo’s going for New Year’s brunch.
nope, probably closing the shop early. ma is doing much better and that makes my day. a few libations and watching the walking dead, a kind friend burned the first season for us…zombies, the best way to ring in 2011. how bout you and my bff?
hugo-they eat the cornmeal and it cleans the sand out
I had an unexpected year-end windfall from Dunder-Mifflin so we are treating ourselves to the New Year’s meal at a certain social house on Ochterloney. I’ll probably be asleep by 10:00.
Sounds delicious Hugo. Enjoy.
excellent…the bear usually wakes me up when the bell toils midnight xox
Not sure if I posted this before 🙂
http://www.flickr.com/photos/payntonm/2232…
i don’t remember that one…thank you muchly
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestor…
Thanks Hugo, for the delightful end of year double entendre:) Here’s to clean clams everywhere! Cin Cin!
I ‘heart’ TRHPS sis. My first time was at The Roxy on the Danny complete with all the acoutrements necessaire:)
FYI
If you toss a 1/4 to 1/2 a box of baking soda into the salt water you brought your clams home in (make sure your clams are suspended up off the bottom of the bucket/container) they will open & when they get a ‘taste’ of the baking soda, they spurt it right back out & it helps rid them of sand, & they’re persistant they’ll keep slurpin’ & spittin. you can even do it right on the beach before you cook ’em. works like a charm. But making sure they are up off the bottom of the pail bye’s …keeps ’em from getting more sand back in side.
i saw it at the bloor cinema (long gone now) along with eraserhead-wtf
http://mutantreviewers.files.wordpress.com…
What burns my burgers is that all of a sudden clams&chips cost more than scallops&chips these days. WTF, people, WTF indeed.
eraserhead … that’s a twisted flick … maybe surpassed by ….hmmm Blue Velvet perhaps 🙂
yes mr. lynch is a strange fellow…wtf cranky, i loves me the clams
http://www.blogcdn.com/blog.moviefone.com/…
Fuck heinenken! PABST BLUE RIBBON!
hey, maybe that’s why the admiral likes pbr. got a thing for isabella or just the brew?^^^
I’ve never seen Eraserhead, sis, just wikipeded it, probably not gonna make it to the bucket list. Sounds like a wicked acid-trip, strange dude.
i am not a big fan, i prefer mr. burton or mike leigh
I just figured out Cranky’s problem. He’s drinking American horse piss.
Happy New Years, all.
http://www.fredmckinnon.com/myblog/wp-cont…
Happy New Year to you too Puss and to all my Bitch Buds in BitchLand. PBR rules and “The Straight Story” is the one David Lynch film to see before you die. Screeee!
Propeller Stout and IPA tonight, the choice of the Atlantic Hipster Douche.
Happy New Year bitchers!
Happy Keiths Beer, Bitches – best in 2011 – holy shit, another year closer to a dirt nap.
Watching a Marx Brothers marathon – man, those dudes were hilarious, more so than the Stanfields on ASN’s bash.
yeah all, happy fucking new year, hope this one turns out better than last year. but wait a sec., there’s major fucking tax hikes and utility hikes planned for the first part of the year. holy fuck batman, we are all just about screwed, again.
2010 was a bust for moi, a reality check-in-a-half., the stark realization of the mortal coil. Hoping 2011 is a little calmer – serenity now – GODDAMN IT, SERENITY, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO???? WALTZING OFF WITH THAT FUCKING FESTIVUS TREE??
it’s wayyyy too early to be up doing this…
this evening’s goal… watch
http://www.spike.com/video/sharktopus/3434…
hey zZz that flick looks interesting^^
I didn’t even realize it was a remake…
might need a double-feature.
Might I suggest “Women of Cell Block 9” directed by Jess Franco, whom Joe-Bob Briggs considers to be “The Spanish Lee Harvey Oswald”. Taught narrative and a good snappy script raise this one above the standard “Women in a Jungle Prison” genre. Plus, it features the only all-nude prison breakout in film history.^^
Morning Painey. >: ) Happy New Year Rawk.
Good Morniong and Happy New Year all, may this year be better than last.
mornin commander…off to visit the parental units. the bear is going on about some outdoor game played with a puck^^^i have a new nat geo and the mop and pail to read. tell my bff that king’s new book of short stories is very readable…mmm…words
Can break most of the lobster with my bare hands and the claws with a big knife . Not rocket science
What might be the title of said King book, sis? I loves me some King short stories:)
BTW: Happy New Year to all my LTWWB buddies! May 2011 be nothing but health, happiness and hilarity.
hands are the best tools… if you have lemon it helps the nicks heal and reduces the scent
“full dark no stars” the best adaptations from word to screen have been from his short stories
Agreed. I’m a gonna have to check it out soon. Thanks:)
I guess ‘soon’ does not apply to library loans. I just reserved it. Over 100 people in line ahead of me. It will become available to me 21-12-12! Hahahaha! I’ll have read it by then!
@ Oceanchick-” MAY 2011 be nothing but health, happin….”
What about the other 11 months ~;)
Happy christmas all…or is it Merry New Years ????
you can borrow my copy when i’m finished oceanchickpeasis
LOL @ Mr More!
That is a mighty fine offer pain-sis-girl! We will have to work out logistics.
bro tim: that’s irrelevant.