I feel really lonely and empty
I feel really lonely and empty. I have a condition called avoidance personality disorder. Never knew what it was like to be in love….too afraid of rejection and intimacy. I’m 48 now and considering checking out (considering I say not actively planning so please don’t send the guys with the straight- jackets)….what the fuck is ther for me in this world anyways? Want to be loved but lack the courage to find it….go looking for it. Did the drinking thing and that didn’t help….have a gambling problem now. Like fucking sucks. I have no idea how to handle a realtionship or to start a relationship in a mature way. I know I’m not the only lonely person or the only one with this problem….just feels like I am.
— running on emptiness
This article appears in Aug 20-26, 2009.
Seriously, if you are feeling like doing harm to yourself you need to start talking to someone now, and not just online to the Bitch section. Call Metro Help line or one of the numbers on this list.
http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabi…
Mental Health Mobile Crisis Team
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Telephone: (902) 429-8167
Toll Free: 1-888-429-8167
Hours: Telephone response: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Mobile response: 1:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.
This, from Wiki:
Treatment of AvPD can employ various techniques, such as social skills training, cognitive therapy, exposure treatment to gradually increase social contacts, group therapy for practicing social skills, and sometimes drug therapy. A key issue in treatment is gaining and keeping the patient’s trust, since people with AvPD will often start to avoid treatment sessions if they distrust the therapist or fear rejection. The primary purpose of both individual therapy and social skills group training is for individuals with AvPD to begin challenging their exaggeratedly negative beliefs about themselves.
OP… please stay and hang out here with us. I know we’d all like to get to know you, and it’s anonymous, so you can say whatever you’re feeling.
did i just hear someone mention my name.are you a female? why do you think life for you sucks. have a bad time in a relationship,well a lot of us have. but we have to go on, just to piss the rest of the fucking world off. and i do that quite nicely, thank you very much. i don’t give a flying fuck if nobody likes me, or what i say, i am me, and just don’t give a shit. get an attitude dude/dudette, you will thank yourrself later on for it.look at me and know this one tiny thing, FUCK THE WORLD,IT IS JUST YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO CARE FOR FIRST.
And… the Missing the Point Entirely award goes to… Lifesucks!!!
>>
You really need professional help to guide you through your social anxiety, OP – therapy and the right meds could change your life. If you could do something like volunteering, it might help you come out of your shell and improve your social interactions with others.
Dear OP: I heartily recommend Cognitive Therapy (aka Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). The fact is, we think some pretty nasty things, and because we think them, we believe they are true. You’ve been spending a lot of lonely years believing all the negative things you believe, and it’s hard to change that, but not impossible. I went through “The Feeling Good Workbook” by David Burns, and it changed my entire way of thinking, permanently. It wasn’t easy, it was often painful (like tearing off a bandaid), and it took a lot of work, but do you have something better to do than to save your own life?
I took Effexor for a year, too, and had a couple of sessions with a therapist, but the book did the most good. If you decide to try it, take my advice, and don’t let yourself talk yourself out of it. The whole thing sounds too good to be true, and it’s easy to believe that it’s bullsh*t, but give it a serious try. What do you have to lose?
I realize that your issue isn’t the same as mine was, so you might need more specific help than one book can provide. However, if your problem includes not wanting to reach out to other humans, this is something you can do by yourself, for yourself, that might very well help you lose your fear of others enough to enable you to reach out.
If you need someone to talk to, you see how easy it is – just post a comment on here!
Uh… Life Sucks misses every point and fucking annoys me to no end with the false links usually because he/she/it doesn’t know where the god damn space bar is.
OP. If you are new to the city…. chill. People, and soon to be friends are out there.
it all takes time…. would you want to be best friends with someone you met last week?
would you hold trust in someone you’ve seen twice?
time will tell…. heal wounds….. and show true colours.
And fuck Spellcheck for highlighting colours.
If you are not new to the city…. and have a job…. they have a phone number you can call. All places do. call them as often as you like, let them know how you’re feeling.. and for logic’s sake, do not tell them how you are undressing.
there are pay lines for that.
When looking for a relationship, the best match for you is someone with a secure attachment personality. Contrary to what LIFE SUCKS says, don’t “find yourself an attitude dude/dudette”, you need someone who’s very comfortable and trusting, not ambivalent and insecure.
You guys slay me.
And I’ll tell you why.
Here we have an obviously false little emo whine, and you jump all over the “OP, no! Life’s worth living!!!!”
Post below, we have a mentally ill man on Spring Garden harassing people, and all of you are”I’d punch him in the mouth, I’m an internet tough guy” crap.
People do not make serious “I’m gonna do harm to myself” posts in random bitch treads.
And yes, I do know the psycho-pathology of suicide quite well thank you.
Oh do you Matthew? What, did you take a course in university and now feel you’re more informed than us, you pompous fuck? So the whole George Sodini incident was just completely irrelevant to you I assume.
Gee-whizz
Yes, being an MD makes me say “yes I am more informed than you”
To compare George Sodini to this, shows what a moron you are.
Really?
So you think that the OP is going to kill multiple other people?
dolt
I read it more as the op has thought of suicide Matt, not that they will actually pursue it.
Know wonder there are so many suicides in Halifax, MD’s don’t seem to care.
As long as you get pay ah Matt.
OP there is a board that you might be able to relate with.
http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/forum/avo…
No Matthew, I related it to George Sodini because they share a similar social problem, not because I thought the OP would kill people. And the fact that social problems such as this is what can lead to mass killings, not that it would happen in this case.
Not surprising that you couldn’t figure that out on your own, I don’t expect much from idiots such as yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZEuzxM3_Uk
OP – you need a hobby. I know a close friend who has this and a slew of other problems. She got into competitive road cycling with me and it has changed her life. You need something to live for and once you’ve found it your troubles will disappear. Cycling is great because it can be independent if you become anxious around others, and it releases Endorphines, Serotonin, Dopamine, and Nonadrenaline in your brain which naturally make you happy. After a healthy routine of excersise you might find you are able to slide into a group of people that enjoy similar hobbies, and make social interaction easier on your psyche. To the assholes here that are ignoring the fact that mental issues are almost impossible to subdue, and life destructive, fuck you. Hang in there OP, but I strongly recommend you take my advice.
Luthor you fucking troll… As an MD you should be ashamed of yourself spouting off like when you obviously have no idea WTF you are talking about…
Let me guess, you would write him up a scrip for prozac, effexor or whatever and send him on his way. You’re type really makes me puke…
OP hang in there bud… you are not really alone… Please dont let assholes like MLMD put you off of getting help…
Keep talking…
to the dude/dudette,like i said, to hell with what other people think. my replies to the comment i wrote you show just exactly what i mean. fuck them all. do what you are comfortable with. and never mind fucking nitpickers like qwerty, or zzz, they are just insecure little shit latches.you know, the clingons to your ass. seriously, get a tough skin and fuck them all.
Ahh Luthor..typical “I went to Med School and am now God” attitude. Makes me laugh.
I did and I guess I am, Bobby.
And no, I don’t want fries with that.
There is no fucking way that you are a doctor Luthor… No fucking way at all… You didn’t have much credibility to begin with and now you have none at all…
So your best bet is to try another persona, say maybe a lawyer, or accountant… Yeah that’s it everybody… This fucking troll Matthew is a CA, therefore whatever he says must be true… LOL…
Hahahahaha “shit latch”
Seriously though….I think despite all the bitching that goes on here, most of you guys are really sweet.
I don’t have any advice for the OP, other people seem to have covered it, except to take care of and be gentle to yourself, you have challenges and you should NOT expect everything to be as easy for you as it can be for others, and then beat yourself up over it. I do that sometimes and you need to just steer yourself away from that kind of thinking.
Coming from a wannabe bandie, your comments are too precious.
Sure thing, Floyd.
as Dino suggests, OB… leave your comfort zone, make a major change in your life, anything really, whatever it takes to get the juices flowing again. exercise is usually an effective & healthy place to start. physical exertion causes the release of certain neurochemicals that’ll help you ‘feel’ better, physically AND mentally… which will eventually lead to other positive changes in your life, assuming you maintain an exercise regimen. and because exercise is an activity you just DO, not something you have to ‘think’ about, it is often the easiest way to get yourself (and your mind) going again. and the effects of vigorous exercise are usually immediate, and cumulative (gets better over time).
although, if you are depressed (and it sounds like you are), then i understand it can be extremely difficult to take ANY (initial) steps, but you owe it to yourself… you must at least TRY. don’t think, just do.
also, TALK to your friends/family about how you’re feeling, there’s no shame in what you’re experiencing (and a lot more common than you may realize). go see your doctor too, get a referral to a psychologist (for cognitive/talk therapy) or a psychiatrist, who will probably prescribe medication. i consider medication to be the last resort, but it may be necessary to help bring about a ‘seismic shift’ in your thinking/perceptions, particularly if you’ve been feeling like this for a while. medications take at least a month (usually longer) before you’ll ‘notice’ changes in your thinking and perceptions of the world, and you’ll be on them for at least 6 months, likely longer.
btw, MOVING away can also be therapeutic for some people, since it shakes your life up a bit… you are forced to deal with new situations, people and places, which can stimulate the brain into action. basically, do something *different/anything*, except allow yourself to wallow in the rut you are presently in. the rabbit hole can be quite deep, so stop digging, and start climbing out of it, sooner the better.
your life does NOT have to suck, but only YOU can take steps to change it. you’re in a rut (which happens to most of us from time to time)… so get yourself out of it.
just reading over some of your comments, Luthor (here and elsewhere on LTWWB)… wow, you seem to really *enjoy* being an insensitive jerk. somehow, i get the impression that you are NOT an actual medical doctor. if you are… ouch, i feel sorry for your patients.
btw, SSM is legal in Vermont and Maine (starting next month), with more states following suit. maybe now would be a good time for you to consider moving your ‘practice’ to the US, where you “could make 10x what I do here.” i doubt anyone here is gonna miss you.
oh, and do you mind if i call you ‘Lex’, instead of Matthew?
Not at as precious as you, you fucking troll… Go play doctor (with yourself) you pathetic loser… You’re not even funny… Just sad.. asshole very very sad…
What’s sad is how this so called bitch board gets all fuzzy wuzzy when a “Gonna kill myself” troll posts.
Internet White Knights to your steads!
I deal with the truly mentally ill all day, usually 7 days a week.
Guess what? They don’t want your pity, and they sure as hell don’t post here.
And Floyd…..use…..more…..periods……
That’s a speech inpediment you asshole… I thought they would have taught you in med school not to make fun of other people’s disabilities…
Oh yeah that’s right you never went to MED school… LOL… Make all the fun you want…
Speech impediment, when you’re typing?
All is forgiven Floyd, I think I love you.
F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-uck offf-ffffff Lu-fffer…. BTW… I don’t think your work here as a bitcher/troll, actually qualifies as “working with the truly mentally ill…” Its close mind you… Very Very close…
OP here -“I’m 48 now and “”considering”” checking out (considering I say not actively planning so please don’t send the guys with the straight- jackets)….”
I was once told that this thought is a very “normal” thought that many people have….and that it does not necessarily make them suicidal. All I want is to be able to love and be loved.
I am getting help and have experienced some growth since quitting the booze. The emptiness is what gets to me. Maybe is more spiritual than just needing love. Maybe it’s existential angst (whatever that is). Can another person make me whole or complete? Probably not. Anyone wanna have coffee with me? email me (junk email addy.) @ ian.paul.freely@gmail.com (yes ip freely)
NGF will.
Before you all rush off to help him, check his posts here
http://dianagrayministries.net/vizbook/viz…
Why is someone from Reno posting here?
Luv ya Floyd!
Woah, WTF?
oh for fucksake… we’ve been had.
ok OB, the joke’s on us,
but please… feel free to ‘check-out’ anywayz, ok
Oh, I get it…the whole thing was a scam by some “christian” ministry?
Jésus X. Christo, en el popsicle sticko… they’re everywhere!
God’s always broke, Frost!
Indeed.
Although it’s hard to believe, innit?
I have a pic, from my travels, of a sign outside a ‘Baptist’ church that says:
“”Remember, at collection time – God don’t want the stuff that tinkles, he want the stuff that crinkles!””
Hallelulah!
This is too funny! I thought the post suspect, so I didn’t respond. I mean, anyone who is familiar with the Coast bitch section would never open themselves up in such a way. But, I thought it was posted to mock the influx of lovelorn type contributions being made lately. I must admit though, I doubted my original feeling once Andy responded as he did. So, I just left it.
Regardless, it was very heartening (and revealing, in a good way) to see everyone squash their usual cynical responses in order to sensitively handle a plea for help. I was very impressed.
And, as well, this is too sad. It may be that one day there is a genuine plea for help, but because of the trickery used by this ‘church’, they may not get it, because having been deceived the Coast readers will not want to risk being made fools.
I think I will visit that site after all.
Okay, I misunderstood…it wasn’t a ploy of the church itself.
I doubt Reno is his true location, just as I doubt his name:
I.P. Freely?
I’ll just take the oppurtunity to say that Reno is TRASH!
Well Luthor we may have been had, but you are still the fucking troll, or should I say DR Troll… Love you too bud… See you at 9.15AM for my proctical exam..
PS I’m bringing something for you…. Coffee and “Timbits”… LOL…
Here he is again on the same day:
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/m…
Here is the first response (offered by Satan Servant):
“let come here satan love you
just forget god for god’s ignorance”
And again, I’m right.
Learn to listen to me next time.