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Could you please take a minute to close your fucking mouth when you eat? Were you raised in a barn? I can avoid having to look at what’s in your mouth, but I cannot avoid listening to that disgusting slapping of your mouth as you chew your cud. Eating with you makes me feel sick.
—polite society
This article appears in Feb 12-18, 2009.
11 Comments
This I can generaly agree with!!. the worst is when people eat apples. I understand that it is a loud sounding food to eat, but sometimes it seems certain people (my best friend) exeed the normal limits of feeding decibels on purpose. popcorn too.
Eating quietly is a polite thing to do, but also a thing a person is raised to do.
i second that op. i can tolerate a great many things. open mouthed chewing and smacking are not among those things. both gross and boorish.
next time suggest to this person that its hard to enjoy your own food while seeing theirs go down the hatch.
dont you have anything better to do than complain over such trivial matters? maybe the problem you have is not with those who chew with their mouths open, but perhaps you have a deeprooted hatred toward “the other” stemming from an awful trauma you experienced in your childhood….?
“me”-all i have to do is respond with exactly what what you said except in your direction; “dont you have anything better to do than complain over such trivial matters? maybe the problem you have is not with those who chew with their mouths open, but perhaps you have a deeprooted hatred toward “the other” stemming from an awful trauma you experienced in your childhood….?”
Why dont you fuck off some place? you are bitching us out for complaining on a “BITCH” site. It really isnt trivial either, most of us eat with other people at least 2-3 times per day, it sucks when the people across the table like you eat like a oprah/cow hybrid, go fuck the chicken bones that you loudly sucked dry,.. cunt.
Yeah Me, for some of us, loud chewing isn’t a trivial matter. Do I want to hear your jiggly jowels working like a rusty old lawnmower engine being started up for the first time in 10 years, your thick old tongue slapping up and down and pushing all that spit through that slack-jawed gap of yours? No I don’t. And I really don’t want to hear you sucking the food out from between your teeth after the meal either. I have a friend with braces and 20 minutes after she’s done eating, she’s still chewing. I try my best not to offer her anything but beverages when she comes over
ahahaha thats friggin priceless squiggly…only beverages. you know if you got out your food processor and pureed everything you could really broaden your culinary horizons with miss braces.
and apparently “me” has little else to do but complain about complaining.
My father eats like this. It’s especially gross when he eats a sandwich and smacks his lips. But of course you can’t say anything to him because he flies off the fucking handle if you look at him sideways.
So I generally leave the vicinity when he’s eating. It’s either that or stab him with his fork.
I get jealous when people eat with their mouth open.
That’s food that I could have eaten instead. Unless its a salad then I don’t give a crap. You can’t mack hoes with salad anyways.
You don’t make friends with salad, you don’t make friends with salad … hey!
I’m going to throw cereal and chips on the most-hated list as well… very noisy when I can see it being all masticated in front of me. Shut yer yap so I can hear the tv/music/anything around me other than you eating.
Yes, i’d have to agree. My boss and i are on the same lunch hour, and his eating habbits make it seem like he was raised by a pack of wolves. Is it really THAT hard to chew a mouthful and not blab at the same time? Do you really need to stick your tounge all of the way out and envelop the entire spoon? No, i don’t want to hear about your weekend while you mow down on a bowl of chilli. Thanks for thinking of me, though…you’re too kind.