So, your union was blessed with issue and you’ve had a baby. Great. I wish only the best that the world has to offer for you and your child.
So, you’re shopping at the mall and your infant needs a diaper change so you go out to your car to perform this act of mercy. Brilliant. You’re doing all the right things as a new parent.
So, you then toss the steaming nappy out the door into the parking lot and fuck off? What the fuck are you thinking, you pig-ignorant, knuckle-dragging, bottom-feeding fish-ape! I can goddamnedguarantee you that the cure for cancer, a free energy source, or a previously unknown Mozart concerto is NOT going to be found in your kid’s shit-hammock so why in the name of all that’s holy do you think it should be shared with the general populace at large. Or do you take that whole “It take a en-tire village to raise a child” malarkey to an absurd extreme and just assume that the rest of us have willingly signed on for janitorial duties. I see this every fucking Sunday morning, and I’m just a passerby, not the poor bastard who has to don the HazMat suit and dispose of this toxic waste. —We’ll Never Solve First World Problems by Sinking to Third World Standards
This article appears in Nov 17-23, 2011.
Dirty pig fucker, it’s too bad she left. If I saw that and she stayed she would be challenging her wipers to clean said dirty diaper, stuck to her window by the poo held inside, from her windshield.
Zurvivor strikes again!
This bitch is probably the type who does nothing but talk about her kid like the world gives a fuck. I have friends like this. I blocked their feeds on facebook because I couldn’t STAND the perpetual “sitting in the kitchen drinkin some juice with little johnny who’s the best and cutest and most wonderfulest baby in the worldddd” and “little johnny slept 4 hours last night!” or “little johnny’s sitting on the floor playing with a block! he’s so smart!” status updates.
If I become one of these parents, someone PLEASE shoot my ass.
you’d stick the diaper to her car Harper?
I took you for more of a
“I’d climb on her hood and shat the beer shits from mirror to mirror”
kinda guy.
Bonus points cause she’s in the car watching from a horrific perspective…
staring up as the man on the moon dumps green cheese on ‘er.
going for a non-lethal shot there kitty?
OB, carry a pair of tongs with you so when the next self-entitled twat does it, you can use the tongs to pick up the dirty diaper and biff it at their windshield.
No. lethal shot, zed.
Because if I end up with mushy cheese for brains, my once sane existence would wanna have me put outta my misery.
I can’t imagine anything worse.
Nah zzz, beers not my thing, alcohols not really my thing. But thanks for the mental image, if it was an oldschool minivan, I don’t think it’s possible.
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestor…
I think I know which parking lot OB is talking about. It used to have litter barrels but it doesn’t anymore.
Still no excuse though. It is not that difficult to keep a diaper pail or plastic baggies in trunk of a vehicle.
This happens repeatedly? I like Bro Tim’s idea – Tongs!
kitty…
it’d take a A-SQUARE Hannibal 577 Tyrannosaur rifle to kill you from an ass shot.
😉
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Harper… you’d have to stand on the roof… and let it smear down.
classy….
Yeah, I thought it was weird that OB sees this happen every Sunday morning and hasn’t said/done anything yet… also why every Sunday morning? What’s going on every Sunday that you need to change your kid in a parking lot?
If you don’t see it happening, how do you know that it is a woman, much less the mother, who is doing this? Couldn’t it be a father? brother? baby sitter?
[SET]tle, meet Pot…
To clarify, Bird. I’ve never actually seen it happen, (or I’d be playing the part of Internet Tough Guy and totally crowing about how I told off the dumb cooze>; ).
All I see is the spoor, along with Ttimmie’s cups, plastic drink bottles, Kentuckyucky boxes, pop cans, scratch’nwins, and all the other assorted floorboard detritus that gets swept out of the back seat and into the parking lot on the assumption that “Someone” will clean it up. All of which is unpleasant, objectionable and needless, but the diapers put it beyond the pale of acceptable conduct.
I assume it was a woman, because, any self respecting man would speed home, tell his wife “The kid needs changing” crack open a Coors Lite and see what Grisham movie is playing on History Channel. (Yeah, that’s mostly sarcasm)
XOXO
you know, i hate profiling you, but i had my suspicions that it might be one of the chosen^^i was thinking thomas
Good thing he’s up in Patti Labelle Province or I’d owe him royalties for the whole S.E.T. thing. >; )
Made me think of this scene 😉
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0ze5YGpOc
That’s nasty. How hard is it to put it in a plastic bag and pull up to a garbage can somewhere and whip it in? Like seriously.
………..What does S.E.T stand for?
Self Entitled Twat. It was our very own Tommyjules who launched that acronym and it caught on like wildfire.
that’s right yo….
he let the acro DROP,
and it’s been blazin’ hot ever since.
wiki wiki word to yo’ mother.
Way ta ignore me on the bus this morning, Fuckface 🙁
I’ve never felt more snubbed in my LIFE.
:*(
Now you know how I feel when you totally ignored me when you were getting off the bus about a week or so ago. 😛
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Z6OyJfBKnXk/THRJ…
WHAT? WHEN, ‘GASMATRON???
Awwwwwww! I’m soooooo sorry, I totally didn’t see you!!! You know me — I would’ve said hi and stuff if I had’ve seen you!!
🙁
It was the Thursday before Remembrance Day at Lacewood. I made a post on your fb wall about it, but then I deleted it a few days later because I felt bad for semi-publicly calling you a stupid jerk (jokingly). ^^;
OOOOOOOH
That’s what that posting was about!
You should’ve SAID SOMETHING to me! I believe I was waiting for the bus for a while. I was totally oblivious!!!!!! 🙁
I tend to be oblivious when I’m at bus stops/terminals. 🙁
BUT NOT WHILE ON THE BUS.
Zed is SUCH a fuckface.
I did say something. >.> I even waved.
What? OH NO.
Now I really do feel like a chump! I’m sorry 🙁 I honestly didn’t see/hear you.
Seriously, I’m an oblivitron. 🙁
I’m sorry 🙁
Haha it’s ok, I won’t hold it against you. IIRC, you were exiting a bus I was about to get on, so it’s NBD.
Ha. you taste your own vile medicine.
god damn I hate that bus in the morning.
stuffy, packed, and full of people rambling along….
showing off their iphones with purple cases…
Fuck you, fuckface. I see what you did there, and my iphone case is blue, not purple, and my mom and I were discussing medic alert bracelets and which one she should buy me so you stfu about that.
Want me to save you a seat tomorrow so I can show you my iphone and all the awesome stuff it does? 😉
sure, I’ll bring a glass of water and we’ll see if it has an app for being waterproof.
I admit I couldn’t remember what color it was.
I took a stab.
I kept thinking of my neighbors phone…
so that was the mother you’ve told us about.
she DOES exist…
though by now you’ve had time to build a robot so I can’t be 100% certain.
“I’ll bring a glass of water and we’ll see if it has an app for being waterproof.”
And I’ll bring a set of brass knuckles to see if your balls are punch-proof.
zedman, don’t speak of the robot moms shhhhh
you’ll need those brass knucks if you’re trying to save a seat on that frakkin bus.
seriously… when the sweat runs down your back and through your ass crack,
you know that bus is packed to the gills.
It wasn’t so crowded today and FFS you wear a LEATHER jacket.
Try wearing something cooler. 😉
it sure looks like it’s leather eh?
and I still undid it when I got on…
so I wasn’t all huffing and puffing like some people detest.
and it wasn’t packed to you cause you were sitting on your ass out of the way.
getting poked by purses and people’s feet and knees…. it was packed.
actually at one point I counted and we were less than 5 people off the official capacity of a bus.
“No motor carrier shall permit a driver of a public passenger vehicle that provides a general service, route service or regular service to carry more than 50% more passengers than the seating capacity of the vehicle.”
There were 40 seats and close to 20 people standing.
fuckface.
🙂
her feet don’t touch the floor, do they^^
Oh c’mon, it’s usually waaay more packed than this morning you wimp.
Want my seat tomorrow, Princess? You can chat my mom up, ya big baby. 😉
And PG– I’m on a bus now and my toes BARELY touch the floor 😛
OB, collect the diaper, seal it in a ziplock bag, and since you see this every weekend, wait until you see said-mom again and smear it all over her windshield. Or jam the diaper in the exhaust of her car.
I read this and shook my head but then as some of you point out others litter so why not…..Ivan I think you are right that fathers would race home so I think it is a female too… maybe a babysitter though….. but every Sunday….a religious thing then.. lol ….squatters rights?…..
I like the suggestion that you bring tongs and biff it at the car. if you are not comfy confronting the litterbug…..and if it is a mother, poopoo on you…..
I’m pretty sure it happens all week long. I just see them mostly on Sundays when I’m making my weekly trip to Chapters/BarStux.