This is to the girl who only went on one date with me.
I met you through a mutual friend and I was attracted to you immediately. On a scale of 1-10 for good looks, I’d rate you about a 7 maybe even 8. I, on the other hand, might be a 5. But I took a chance and asked you out to dinner. You said yes! I was so happy. We went to one of my favorite resteraunts. Things went great, we seemed to have a lot in common…then came time to pay the bill. All I asked was that you pay for YOUR part of the meal, not for the whole fucking thing. Looking at me in utter disgust (when I said the words, so you’ll pay for your part?), you made it pretty fucking obvious that you didn’t want to pay for anything, told me that the date was MY idea and the place we went to was also MY idea therefore I should pay. Yeah, it was my idea, so what’s your fucking point? Self-entitlement much? Think that I will be walked all over? Uh uh! Then you told me you didn’t want to see me again. Well, I don’t wanna see YOUR pretty yet psycho ass ever again either! Jeesh, some women…………
—Still single and still wanna mingle
This article appears in Jun 4-10, 2009.
Still single and you shall be mingling alone….for quite a while.
You asked her out. Thou who asks, pays the shot.
Although, if it had been mem i would not have said anything. I would have brought enough money (Plan B when dating unexpected cheapskates), paid my share, then just never contacted you again.
You asked her. You should have paid. Next time she may have asked you and paid.
I think you blew a good opportunity based on your assumption of how the bill should be paid.
Keep in mind, I personally don’t have a problem splitting the bill with someone.
But since you asked her out (and the date was going well), why choose to increase the risk of not getting a second date by saying “pay for your part?” You might have phrased it in a more open way, and given her the chance to suggest her paying a portion of it.
Just a thought….I mean was keeping the $20-30 bucks really worth it ?
Good luck
Holy fuck, your dumbassery escapes me. When YOU ask someone on a date, YOU PAY FOR IT twinkle-dick. You don’t obligate the person you asked out to fork over money on something that was YOUR IDEA, especially not on a first date. Never, on a first date.
She’s better off without you because you’re obviously a bitter, sour idiot. Okay, so you made a mistake for pulling a George Costanza, but then you come on here and bitch about it like your shit doesn’t stink and have the audacity to call HER self-entitled? Grow up, OP you’re just embarrassing yourself.
Pathetic. No wonder you’re single. They say chivalry is dead and assholes like you killed it. You asked her out, you picked the spot, you should have been man enough to pay the bill. So shut the fuck up and quit your whining. You’re a sad little boy who needs to learn how to treat a lady. Thanks for making it harder for the rest of us, asshole.
every since the inception of the boring break-up story tag..i swear theres been like, 5x the number of boring break up stories….
You took her on the date, jackass with no mention of going dutch before you ate. Way to be a cheap bastard! Have fun getting busy with your palm instead of her.
Holy fuck is this guy even for real??? A 5 on a date with a 7 whoa….and you blew it. You probably won’t get another chance with a 7, you’ll only be gettin 4.5 maybe a 4.75 at best.
That was a pretty idiotic thing to do, Mister. Everybody knows (except for you) that the gentleman always pays for the dinner. *Especially* on the first date. Marriage is when the bill splitting comes in. Where the hell are your manners?
I don’t think the guy should always pay, in fact I usually even offer to at least pay the tip if nothing else. However, it should be a rule of thumb that if you offer to go out to dinner, you should be expecting to pay for the whole kit & kaboodle. It’s more attractive anyway.
Aw, ya cheap cocksucker – you asked – you pay for the pleasure of her company. I’d dump your sorry ass too!
Its fine to split the bill on any date if the person who was asked on the date offers to split it. It was definitely rude of you to expect her to pay half the bill on a venture you initiated. You can be hopeful, but you can’t expect it. You can leave the bill on the table long enough that she might go for it, and hope she won’t mind, but you probably wont be getting a second date.
It’s kinda crazy that you were so happy to go and with how it was going but not enough to pay for her meal.
Interesting. I expected this whole thread to be nothing but “what’d I say, bitchez only want ur moneyyyy!!!11”
When me & the other one started going out, we alternated paying for dates. I can’t remember who paid for the first one. I agree with most people, should’ve forked out some dough for the first date, and if she continued to insist you pay for everything on further dates, you’d kick her to the kerb. Oh well, too late, so sad.
If you ask anyone to anything, unless said otherwise, you are responsible to pay, especially a first fucking date.
I wonder if this douche would have ponied up, if she asked him out. I highly doubt it
personally, I think the worst part of it was not figuring things out beforehand…so you don’t look like a tool right in the middle of the date.
when it’s on the spot and you’re trying to make a first impression…. you’ve blown it.
should have sucked this one up unless you were trying to cut your losses… in which this bitch would have read quite differently.
Live and learn.
I agree re: everyone’s comments that if the OP asked the 7 out, than he should “assume” that he will pay. Then again, we all know where “assume” gets us….I do want to comment on the chick’s reaction though. I, as a single woman, would not expect him to pay! I think she definitely should have automatically put up 1/2 – what a twit! Who gives a shit if she didn’t like his company – poor princess! She was asked out by him, she agreed and suck it up! She should be flattered! K, so, end-all-be-all, he should have “assumed” paying, but, the princess should have not been so drama and should have put up some $$! Or, as Flyingbrick says it so nicely, “live and learn”…
From a girls perspective I wouldnt count on you to pay, maybe offer.
I prefer alternating between the daters who pays. One date one person pays, the next date the other person pays. That way it still seems like a treat, but you come out even in the end.
I will say, that even though I usually offer or try to pay on the first date, especially if it was my idea, the guy gets bonus points for insisting on paying.
Being the independent stag that I am (just kidding), I alllways offer to pay half on the first date…I just feel really rude if I don’t ask. However, If my date ASKS me to pay half…well then…rejected. It’s all about perspective my friends.
OP, what you did was rude and tactless. You don’t treat a person who has graciously accepted your invitation by demanding they pay for a dinner that they wouldn’t be having otherwise. You show your appreciation for their company by having some class and paying for their food on the first date!
Class is HOT! You don’t have an ounce of it.
Fizz, YOU are HOT! 😉
OP, are you looking to IMPRESS this girl or NOT? Obviously NOT
MAJOR difference in asking a lady out to dinner as a date and asking a gal pal if she’d like to go grab a bite to eat.
And the tripe about “On a scale from 1-10, I’d say 7 but maybe even 5” – whatever makes you feel good about yourself, dude. My guess is you’re probably a -6.
If you really wanted to impress the lady and save some cash, you could have invited her over and attempted to prepare something yourself. Its not hard to bake up a nice lasagna and make a salad.
I still remember the 1st meal my boyfriend cooked for me and the 1st meal I cooked for him! Men who can cook are hot!
What did he make, L5? 😀
Can’t leave us hanging after that now lol
Fizz agrees. Men who can cook ARE hot!
Ironically one of the first meals one of my boyfriends made for me was Kraft Dinner with ketchup sauce…
He was still hot though, because he played guitar. Men with instruments are twice as hot as they are without them. So if anyone wants to double their hotness… may I suggest the tenor sax?
Oh gawd Fizz I completely agree with you.
Dino, you sexy devil.
*blush*
whats with the number ratings i really think its weird..maybe we should all wear numbers i want to be 3 cubed…and yeah goof boy shoulda paid
If I were a number I would be 1.6180339887.
If I were a number, I’d be number 1!!!!!!!!!
PS: Fizz…telephone number?! LOL!!
My dream man is someone who dresses well, is tall, good taste in music, plays the sax or guitar or piano, cooks, fishes, surfs, and is a damn good kisser. Preferably Russian or Irish. Like I’ll ever find that! SIGH.
I think everyone pretty much covered my thought’s on the matter. On first dates if I ask, I pay, if you ask YOU pay. What if she didn’t have the money to pay? Maybe you killed her pride and that’s why she got on the defensive.
I was a cook/chef for almost 10 years but my cooking skills don’t come into play until the third date. First date I take them out to a nice restaurant and I pay. It’s called chivalry and it’s not completely dead. Second date is usually something fun and easy going like mini-golf and icecream or bowling and hot chocolate (depends on the season), which I try to make dutch. I will pay if she doesn’t offer, but I won’t say no if she offers to pay. If she doesn’t offer to pay though, she won’t make it to a third date. There seems to be this lingering double standard that men should pay for everything, I don’t buy into that (pun intended). Third date is usually dinner and a movie, meaning a special dinner, cooked by me and a DVD at my place, which I pay for of course. I don’t expect my dates to always pay some or all of the bill, but I do expect them to some of the time.
Am I the only one that thinks it incredibly awkward going out to dinner on a first date with someone you just met. If you click great, but if you don’t have anything in common then you get to sit there and awkwardly look around the restaurant and comment on the decoration’s whilst trying to think of something to talk about. I’d rather do the mini golf thing first. At least that way if it sucks, you can at least still have fun playing mini golf.
He made a pork dish in a mushroom sauce with rice and it was excellent! And I made chicken breast with roasted potatoes and snow peas. Yummm!
I also just asked my bf about this and he agrees. The guy should have paid. He asked her. If she had asked him she should pay.
I agree, men who can cook at on fire. My SO makes 98% of our meals and I love him long time for that. His meals are so delish that we generally only go out for specialty food.
OP should have paid for the first one, kay’s right. And a ratings scale? So junior high.
ah fizz…. haven’t come across that one in a while.
Nothing ever seems golden these days.
fizz: You’re the Golden Rectangle? I’m more of an elipse myself.
Dino, try on a sax player… they’re great kissers!
Neverwrong, “If she doesn’t offer to pay though, she won’t make it to a third date”… at least we know what you want in a girl. You’re still single, aren’t ya?
Angel, order something you really enjoy eating and enjoy yourself if not your date.
Happy dating everyone!
YOU asked her out = YOU should pay = plain and simple dude.
LIVE AND LEARN!!!
PS PLUS don’t ask anyone out again unless you have the cash bozo
I have never in my whole life assumed that the guy would be paying for a date, even when he asked me out. I’ve always offered to pay my half and if he says he wants to pay I will at least offer to tip. What decade are the rest of you living in?
A decade where there are PLENTY of fish in the sea
I think enough said on OP’s situation. But I have learned that I should bust out the ol tenor sax for the SO. I dont think she has heard my former Jazz band skills! haha Hopefully I still have em…