I’m here to bitch about myself and how I let myself get back into the habit of going home with randoms from the bar. It’s so shallow to do it on such a regular basis, both people involved are only there to satisfy themselves. I miss that connection you feel when you’re with someone and there are feelings involved. Where does the average work-a-day world person meet people besides at bars in a drunken stupor?
—made my bed and now i’m laying in someone else’s
This article appears in Apr 2-8, 2009.
Online dating has worked for a few of my friends. Also if you are going home with these guys the 1st time you meet them they won’t want a relationship with you. They will think you are a slut and you are. You have admitted it to yourself through this bitch.
But the guy isn’t a slut, right, LadyS?
OP, I think if your social life consists mainly of getting drunk at the bar, maybe you need to expand your repertoire. Obviously it’s not working for you.
I don’t believe I said that. Also the OP didn’t say which gender he or she is. I assumed it was a woman. People shouldn’t assume. Also the term I like is man whore.
Or perhaps the OP is gay. Than it would be 2 slutty woman or 2 man whore men.
You got me LadyS, me and my assumptions.
That’s unfortunate. You’re succumbing to a self destructing lifestyle that in the end, will dissolve any chance of learning what love really is. Stop with this habit, and start a relationship where sex is the last thing to worry about.
Holy hopping herpes! I’d rather see you on-line than trolling around bars, looking for your prince or princess. Well, sweetheart, there is no prince or princess out there but there’s lots of nice people who don’t spend their nights in bars looking for another notch on the bedpost.
you meet people every day…
you just choose that it’s not in the context you want to meet them in… ie, hi,let’s get hammered and fuck kinda context.
elevators, walking, everywhere…. shed the idea that you can only meet viable partners in certain places and you may just discover the world is your oyster.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing that you’ve been taking home guys from bars, because it has brought you to the conclusion that you’re not satisfied with it anymore. At least you’re not just going out and waking up after blacking out with strangers. You could still find guys you’d like in bars, just give them your number instead of an escort home. Then leave before too late. If they call you, theres a better chance they weren’t just hoping to take you home and never see you again, and you can meet them later for coffee or a movie.
Can I get my socks back?
Haha Matthew, that’s cute! The same sort of thing happened to me. I’ve never picked up a stranger at a bar, but there have been several instances where I have woken up beside different friends after a night of drinking. The last time it happened was a wake up call. It was beside this guy who is an extreme “man-whore” and I wasn’t being any better than him. I didn’t remember any thing from the night before except for that I thought he looked really unattractive in pink. I haven’t been drunk enough to lose control of myself since then, and I actually found a loving faithful boyfriend. It sounds like you do the same thing I used to do, lose control of yourself then blame it on the alcohol. You should still go to bars if thats your thing, just don’t let yourself do anything you don’t want to do.
Sounds like bumping uglies with strangers isn’t your problem. If your a man whore, your doing what somes naturally, and if your a woman and a loose goose, then you again are doing what cums (sic) naturally. If you are going to settle for a quick romp, then that’s all you will ever get. Anybody, even the ugliest muthfucka could go down town and get laid, any night of the week, in any bar, if you set your sights low enough. How about rasing them standards just a tad to something more than a pulse (actually that may not even be in your criteria, judging by what you posted). Anything worth having in life is worth some effort. Think of yourself as the last of the great hunters out hunting the majestic Moose. What would you rather? Shoot the fucking thing in a pen that’s 20′ x 40′ which, for a true hunter holds about as much appeal as shooting one’s self in the foot, or stalking that beast for several days, then taking it down with that one in a million, 500 yd shot, just at sundown, on the last day of the season?
Seriously, sounds more like you want to brag, not bitch about the notches on the bedpost. If you are really interested in something more than a pickle tickle (that works for both guys and girls), put some time and effort into it! The old “any port in a storm” mentality is too easy to slip into, and even harder to get out of. Maximum effort equals maximum rewards, minimum effort equals a trip to the doctor for a shot to cure that nasty fucking drip and itch!
it sounds like when your going out you are looking for people to take home, why not just go out for fun hang out with your friends etc
Life is short- shag safe- I’ll be at the Seahorse- Thursdays.
People Are Stupid may actually be on to something.
I’ll second that advice.
I fuckin hear ya..
this lack luster drunk sex followed by a disgusting shame leaving me more empty then before just isnt cuttin it….
i attract everyone i hate and cant get anyone i desire..
what’s wrong with me?
I don’t know whether to feel bad for you are to call you a fucking idiot. Right now, I will be honest, I am leaning towards idiot. You don’t know where to meet people other than to get drunk downtown. How about mutual friends? How about your school or work? What about coffee shops, book stores, book stores that have coffee shops in them? The funny thing is, you can literally meet people that are not drunk and just want to fuck literally anywhere other than bars. To be fair, you most likely have self-esteem issues and that’s why you are doing what you are doing. That doesn’t excuse you by any means. You know better obviously or else you wouldn’t feel bad about it. You choose to do what you do because it serves as validation for you. You must get something out of it or else you wouldn’t do it. Pick up a hobby, stay in on Friday and Saturday nights, and force yourself to defy convention, or don’t. Just have some self-respect, and own your choices whether it is promiscuity, prudishness or somewhere in between.
Maybe youll find a partner/SO when you stop pining for one?
Focus on the stuff that makes you happy. If drunken bar sex makes you happy twice a week but not six times a week… then do it twice a week. If it doesnt make you happy at all, dont do it. And if searching for a partner is making you unhappy… dont do it. Just wait and enjoy yourself in the mean time.
People stress too much about sex and relationships… Mind you – it could be that youre too drunk to appreciate the stress relieving aspects of sex. So perhaps, go to the bars – get only slightly drunk – have sex with strangers. It might be your greater 🙂 Who knows.