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You were abusive – you didn’t hit me but you came close. Now you parade around town in your band like you did nothing and have the odacity to call me the crazy one.
I hope your come up in’s come up, SOON.
—Hurt
This article appears in Mar 5-11, 2009.
17 Comments
Only I get to use the “boring break up story” label, k?
And that one down below wasn’t.
I think the word you’re looking for is ‘comeuppance’.
Be glad he’s gone.
I wonder if the OP thinks breaking up a relationship qualifies as “abuse”. Is there a pretty way to tell someone you don’t love them and that they should hit the road? Is it really “abusive”? Tell us more OP, what brought this on?
Does chasing someone and confining them from leaving their home consitute “abuse”, does standing on a bed screaming at a person cowering in fear consitute “abuse”. Does hitting an object by their head consitute “abuse” Does demeaning verbally and emotionally them consitute “abuse”.
I hope you understand now that you have the facts. You tell me Kay.
Allowing him (enabling him?) to do it is self-deprecating and also abusive, no? Will you allow it to go on? What you’ve described is a series of illegal behaviors not just abusive… kidnapping, assault with a weapon (even if he missed). As for having to listen to demeaning crap, it’s not illegal for him to spew at the top of his lungs but you don’t have to hear it either. Leave, call 911… there are a lot of ways to get assistance protecting your rights, even after the fact.
I did leave. I am angry that he got away with it and parades around town bar after bar night after night like he isn’t a complete douche and I feel bad for the next, victim.
Thank you.
You left! Good for you! I’ll bet that was hard. Let him go now. You’re not responsible for his next “victim” since you don’t know (nor should care) if he’ll behave that way with another.
You did the hard thing. Don’t go letting him live rent-free in your head now. Take what you’ve learned (keep a phone close, diall 911 without hesitation) and live well! Good luck!
It’s hard not to care when I wasn’t the first “victim” (found out after the fact)and therefore deff will not be the last.
For every one that leaves, there are a dozen that stay. It does get worse, it rarely gets better and this is exactly how it begins.
Hurt, even if you had found out he was abusive in his last relationship you wouldn’t have done anything different. Back then you were “in love” and not interested in what other people thought of your chosen lover. I’m sure you, like his new lover might, would have accused the ex of being a jealous meddler. Take solace in the fact that there’s someone out there for everybody. It’s possible he falls in love, adores the girl and see’s the err of his ways. And if he doesn’t, it’s still not your problem.
Rent-free is a pretty good deal. Cut him off.
what is with these abuse stories? at least you were smarter than the other one and left while you could.
Life goes on, and you will find a guy who won’t treat you like garbage. We exist, trust me on this one. For now, take your time, recuperate, pull yourself together. If you rush this, you’ll attract the same type of guy who can pick up on the damage the last relationship caused.
i can’t believe I’m going to say this, but, I actually kinda agree with kay.
Shit.
PK— It’s okay to feel shamed. Just bury the feelings and move on… and let us never speak of this again.
…I also agree with kay…
what is going on
Maybe someone hacked her account? Cause srsly c’mon.
As has been mentioned, it’s actually spelled “comeuppance” but anyway…
I’m sorry for your loss, but if you were abused, whether physically or not, you’re better off without them.