This bitch is dedicated to whistle-happy honk-happy men everywhere,
You suck.
Today, I heard a catcall/whistle from a balcony above. I didn’t respond and continued to walk. “Bitch,” I heard, again from above. From a balcony full of your typical university gentlemen. Yeah right.
Did you expect me to turn, bat my lashes and say, “Thanks, handsome.”
That’s not going to happen. You have no right to expect that. The only way you can call me a bitch for a neutral response is if you anticipated I would call you out in LTWWB. Somehow I doubt your ape brain is telepathic, so shut your sasquatch mouth.
The second part of this bitch is for the pair of idiots who walked into a certain coffee house and lined up behind me. “Man, you rate girls too?” one grunted. “Yeah,” the other responded enthusiastically. “Everywhere I go. But when there’s a crowd of them it’s like five, five, eight, seven, three, four.”
Then, when a girl walked in front of you, you had the nerve to laugh and loudly say, “Five!”
I’m sure she heard your snorts and grunts, you dirty pigs.
The third and final chapter of this bitch is dedicated to the girl you called a “five”. Maybe you were rating her personality. She would have deserved that.
Miss “five”, you sat near me by the window and proceeded to yell at your mother on your cell phone, “NO MOM, JUST LISTEN, IT’S NOT THAT HARD, DON’T INTERRUPT ME, NO LISTEN.” You continued in your loud, patronizing voice, until you finally hung up, turned to your friend and said, “MY MOM IS SO STUPID.”
Are you seven years old? Go to your room! You have no right to talk to your poor mother like that. From what I can tell, you were trying to explain to her how to opt out of the Dal insurance plan. I know students who have also had trouble doing that. Where will you be when your mother decides enough is enough?
In summary: be nice, assholes. Your actions certainly aren’t getting you any positive attention.
Also, to the honk-happy girls out there, my boyfriend doesn’t appreciate your attention either. It’s not a double-standard.
—Next time you’ll HEAR me bitch
This article appears in Apr 16-22, 2009.
I hear ya there OP, It drives me fucking NUTS. I’m not usually a sassy person, and usually (besides here) keep my negative comments to myself, however when it comes to this kind of “asshole” I have no problem giving them a piece of my mind.
Unfortunately, the douchebags that rate women will predictably come up with a “you’re just jealous you’re a three” or some such lame garbage when you call them out on it.
And it always amazes me how the guys who are the biggest assholes when it comes to treating women like shit are the ugliest, grossest, dumbest fuckers out there.
But I will agree that the bitch who got a five deserved it…I would NEVER talk to my mother like that, and man she can piss me the fuck off sometimes…I hate to say it, but too bad this bitch’s mother didn’t consider abortion.
What a miserable day you had, poor baby. I recommend a bowl of chicken soup to calm those nerves. After many years in the city, i’m not surprised at ANYTHING anymore. As for the douches – easiest way to end all is to spin back around and rate the offenders yourself. 3-5 is a valid shot to the ego that does the trick.
PS: Avoid anything under 3 or they’ll be liable for suicide.
lovinglfe respects the ladies. he also, for some reason has been refering to himself in third person all day. Lovinglife is starting to think others are geting irriated with this.
Pretty Kitty, I would never yell at a women from my car unless it was something constructive and helpful like, ” MAKE GOOD LIFE CHOICES!!” or
” WHEN LIFTING HEAVY LOADS BE SURE TO BEND AT THE KNEES SO TO NOT STAIN YOUR BACK”
ok, I would having to be stopped at a light for that last one.
Lovinglife always brightens my day 😀
LL, let’s get married.
(on the internet, of course ;))
Hmm…I’ll jump in on the lovinglife love fest with this:
Gotta love that name on a board about everything negative.
OP, something tells me a balcony full of university guys hollering during the nearing end of exams isn’t quite the norm. Yeah, they’re shmucks who were probably drinking and carrying on but they were young, happy, and potentially loaded. PS, those are the same guys at the clubs picking up tail like it’s raining pussy.
The rating guy…. ok, that’s just sad. Like he has nothing better to do than judge others on his own biased opinion…. ugh.
My point is, how many guys did you run into that day?
and how many were jerks?
and who did you happen to remember more?
I certainly didn’t read the last paragraph of “thanks to all the guys today who didn’t treat me like meat or objectify me and let me go about my business….”.
pretty kitty – i accept! meet me over at sears.ca so we can pick out some new kitchen stuff for our make believe house.
Thanks for the love everyone !!
The OP would go out with one of these douchebags if they approached her in a bar or at a party, and probably scoffs at the nice guys, because they’re just like a brother. Therein lies the issue. I’m with zzz on this one. She only remembers the dicks, but not the guys who went out of their way to be nice to her.
Thanks Fever… I dig the guinea pig.
us nice guys gotta stick together ’cause it’s the hotdogs of society that are fucking us over.
You can tell if he’s a hotdog because he’s all lip and asshole.
Um, I don’t know about the OP, but I don’t tend to thank people for “letting me go about my business” aka acting like acual grown-ups. Do you thank every person who passes you on the street for not mugging you?
People can have a good and as drunken a time as they want, but that doesn’t give them the right to try and belittle me for kicks.
Newsflash: Some women (and men, imagine) just don’t like being harassed in the street. Some people don’t like insults hurled at them while they run errands.
PS:Nice guys don’t bitch about being so nice and not being rewarded for it with sex. Those guys are douchebags too, they just have less confidence than the guys who yell.
No, I typically don’t explicitly thank people for not mugging me, but I certainly appreciate it. And if I was writing a bitch about assholes, I might show my appreciation for the non-assholes by thanking them. zZz’s comment was fair.
Also, nice guys are not necessarily less confident or undersexed.
why was my original comment deleted?
because you’re fat? (ok don’t flame me, fsckers, I know NFG IRL)
Also LL: I want a red stove and matching kitchen aid mixer. 😛
PK – email me
lovinglife3489@hotmail.com
done, LL *wink*
Look at that. A LTWWB match up!
ok i feel a move to love the way we love coming on for those two lol
Well let me be the first to congratulate Pretty Kitty and lovinglife on their virtual engagement.
Congrats you two!
Will you hyphenate your names? Pretty Kitty-lovinglife?
Thanks for the well wishes, guys!
We’re registered at sears, as you can see from LL’s post above. Please buy us copious amounts of pretty things to fill our make believe house. 🙂
wow!! you guys have this one covered..
LOVE LIFE!
oh behave people 🙂
It’s amusing how quickly how a bitch about douchebaggy guys devolves into a fake wedding…
I think with Mosley’s comment that he or she had meant that REAL nice guys don’t bitch about that kind of stuff. There ARE loads of the REAL nice guys out there…you just have to look.
Though I do get a bit sick of “Nice tits bitch” being yelled at me from fast red trucks. Seriously, I would never yell that at some guy 😉
‘cuz guys don’t have tits?
HA, here’s an amusing story, I knew a guy like that (not a fan of him) any way, he use to not only yell at girls, but make random noises and any poor sucker he passed by. Anyhow, when i heard this story I fucking diiieed laughing: He was being his usual douchbag self, saw a guy standing at an intersection waiting to cross the road and decided he would yell some nonsense to him, but in the process of yelling at him didn’t notice the car ahead of him and rear ended it, no one was hurt obviously or I wouldn’t have said it was funny…but fuck I wish i was that guy that was getting yelled at, I would have been immobilized with laughter
i can always tell when the comments have gone off topic.
oh my goodness, OP, the same thing happened to my gf.
Parked her car downtown and walked to work along a construction site. All of a sudden she hears this scream “GOOD MORNING!!”, all rough and intentionally sounding to intimidate her. She doesn’t reply. Next thing was “Bitch”.
Next day same thing happened. She didn’t act on it.
Third day, a piece of plywood flies her way landing just near her followed by laughter. No wonder it’s hard to get laid in this city. Men here are pigs. You think other countries are bad.
We have not once been bothered in Florida or Dubai!
Miles, some guys DO have tits…
Shit, some have bigger racks than *I* do.
Randomness, I would definitely be calling up a manager of that site over that one. especially if she has to walk this way to get to work. If going to the manager doesn’t change anything then go above his/her head. That definitely at least breaks some OHS rules, and public safety. That’s some serious bullshit man…..not cool
ha, the guy’s that have tits, i probably wouldn’t want to yell at them either….
Pfft, bitch tits are HOT, FA. You have bad taste in men if you can’t appreciate a great set of moobs. LOL 😛
Could the lack of bitch tits be a deal breaker for PK and LL? Or are manzieres on the gift registry at sears.ca? Stay tuned…
the plot thickens…..
sorry lads, no bitch tits, but i do enoy donairs so we will see what the future holds.
Forgive me girls. Sometimes I say things like Hi, or good morning, nice day or something witty at the time- just being friendly. But judging by your response, I may as well have been slagging you. If I ignore you, you go nuts. If I am friendly, you run cold. Is it all about timing?
But girls, come on, lighten up and don’t believe the hype. Perhaps you have been watching too much ET news and Pussy Cat Dolls? And boys give the girls a break- being a gentleman seems to working fine for me. All I know is I live in a small town and my intentions are good.
Get it J-Rock and you’ll get it.
MK, I would never ignore someone who said hi or good morning, and always notice good intentions like that, especially when someone offers to help me with something I’m carrying, I don’t usually accept, but always really appreciate it and as bad as my facial recognition abilities are, tend to remember those people as well. I would hope that you would never have to apologize for that, and if the person made you feel as if you should apologize, then they aren’t worth your kind words. However saying “good morning” is definitely different then “Hey baby how U doin” or “Nice Ass”. And I have absolutely no patients for guy’s thinking that just because I’m at a bar I must be looking to score so it’s ok to cope a feel of my ass, I never have, and never would pick up someone from a bar.
PK & lovinglife – cutest internet couple EVAHHH!! I’ll bring the TUPPERWARES!
So nice that this has turned from how NOT to get laid into how to get laid (on the internet) 😉 Congrats to PK and LL on your internet marriage.
Michael, It’s really all about the delivery mode. As long as it’s nice and not abrasive they smile and respond.
fallingangels, luckily she managed to get an indoor parking spot where she works so no longer have to deal with that crap. I agree with you, she never got any of that information about the company and I was upset about that. Anyway no harm done.
I think women ignore men here mostly because they think they’re just trying to sleep with them. While this is somewhat true (someone was hitting on a girl while I was with her which ended in a fight), the nice guys don’t usually frequent the same location the douches do.
Halifax is full of douches let me tell ya!:)
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why was my original comment deleted?
Posted by Nice Goin’ Fat on April 21, 2009 at 12:29 PM
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Gee… I wonder?
Like maybe you opened your mouth and more child abuse and incest talk came out of it?
Why anyone finds that endearing and not sick and scary I’ll never understand.