If I apply to the C.R.T.C. for a specialty channel license can I call it Pawn Shop Television and run old war flicks all day? —Chumlee

This article appears in Nov 13-19, 2014.

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23 Comments

  1. WHAT IS HISTORY?

    : “history, n. – continuous methodological record of public events; study of growth of nations; whole train of events connected with nation, person, things, etc.” (The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Current English)

    Chumlee supposes that there is a contradiction between Pawn Stars and old war flicks such the latter but not the former correctly embodies what is to be understood by history but is this necessarily the case? The question drives to the heart of what, exactly, is to be understood by history.

    The first criterion is ambiguous in the sense that it is not clear what is to be understood by a “continuous methodological record.” To what does the term “methodological” refer? Is there some impartial or objective methodology to which all historians must subscribe? If this is so then what is it? Presumably it must be rational in the minimal sense that it entails the giving of reasons by way of explanation but beyond that what is its nature? Further, the term “record” is troubling. The historian does not simply “record” events but attempts to understand and explain them which, of course, is by no means the same thing.

    The second criterion, that of a whole train of events connected with nation, person, things, etc. must be ruled out immediately. To speak of any such “whole train of events” is to speak of a chronicle and a chronicle is not history. To be history necessarily entails interpretation and any interpretation necessarily resides in the mind of the historian who interprets it. In other words, as E.H. Carr has so clearly pointed out in his “What is History?” there is no such thing as the “historical fact” subsisting in some independent fashion outside of the mind of the historian who writes about it. This is to confound the “historical fact” with the “historical event” which provides the grist for the historian’s interpretive engagement with that event but which is not to be confused with it.

    On the basis of this brief analysis we can safely conclude that neither old war flicks nor Pawn Stars properly embodies the criteria of what constitutes history. Now Storage Wars, of course, is another story.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

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  5. Pawn Stars doesn’t impress me much – it’s scripted right down to Chumly’s last bowel rumble or the Old Man blinking at the camera like a demented lizard. Then, to have to suffer through the hundreds of nitwits who think they have their retirement fund in the form of some ridiculous object like a threaded cork butt plug used by Mark Twain or Robert E. Lee’s last pair of underwear soiled with a petrified coil of feces.

    I do agree with OB, however, the History Channel is pretty awful. As a life-long history fanatic, it’s a huge disappointment.

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  7. any purported ‘reality’ show that features those FUCKING dramatic pauses…. I used to like hgtv for the reno ideas and to throw shit at the screen at the spoiled brats looking for first house, but had to stop because everything features those FUCKING dramatic pauses.

    and people don’t seem to notice….someone tried to get me to watch master chef because I like cooking and swore there were no FUCKING dramatic pauses………

    yeah right. there, that’s a dramatic pause.

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  10. Yeah T.V. is mostly bullshit these days. Even if you have a DVR and can record programs to watch later and skip over the commercials. I cancelled my cable and went with netflix after about two years of procrastination. Best decision ever. I recommend Orange is the New Black to anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.

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  13. I confess to being addicted to the Border Security shows; we get the Aussie version on D-Tour.
    What is it with a certain ethnic demographic who refuse to declare the raw chicken in their luggage?

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  14. RSVPS

    : Bad dog Molly (11/15, 3:54PM)

    You must not be disturbed. I have never seen Storage Wars nor do I ever intend to. In addition to the idiocy of the programme itself and the naked, mindless avarice of the cast, it is their horribly low class which puts me off. My reference to it was meant only as, um, an attempt at humour.

    : Ivan Sonofabitch (4:03PM)

    For reasons indicated above I am not in a position to make a comparison of Storage Wars and Pawn Stars. However, while I actually do watch Pawn Stars if it is on when I watch TV – an activity which I tend to find mindless for the most part (I never watch daytime game shows or any evening serials at all) – I do find that the attempt to inject their banal humour into the discussion of the objects intended for pawning palls badly. I mute each and every one. Come to think of it, I also mute objects like Nintendo games. Mickey Mouse dolls and their equivalents when they crop up. However some objects, particularly those with a modicum of historical provenance, I find quite interesting.

    : TT Fonebone (5:55PM)

    I’m in total agreement with your general assessment of the History Channel except, of course, for MASH which I watch religiously. (A little joke there.)

    : Bad dog Molly (6:19PM)

    Just wondering how there could be a “dramatic pause” on the master chef cooking program (which of course I don’t watch). Does that involve the implied symbolism when the master chef, knife in hand, approaches a plump parsnip? Or a ripe egg plant?

    : Hoyst (6:59PM)

    What, if anything, is going on in your mind when you are watching “Orange is the New Black?”
    Have you detected any neurological activity?

    (AVATAR #77: EDWARD VI SHILLING)

    A pleasure as always,

    Cheerio!

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  16. No secret about it GDM.

    What is going on in my mind when I watch OITNB…mostly “aw, poor crazy eyes…wtf, crazy eyes, how could you? …oh, crazy eyes, you alright.” and also “boobies.”

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  17. LOL. SOBova and her girlfriends were big fans of “Oz” – for it’s superb ensemble cast and good , snappy writing. And not at all for the cawks. Nosirree!

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  18. RSVPS

    : Ivan Sonofabitch (11/16, 9:52AM)

    Unusually, since it was in reply to a comment of mine, I clicked on your attachment only to sit staring uncomprehendingly at two odd-looking birds with blue feet. What message were they intended to convey? What, if any, was their purpose? I concluded not only that the attachment was conceptually empty but, by way of confirming my opinion of attachments generally, that they constitute little more than a power move to intellectually colonize the viewer and reduce him to a state of idiocy. Am I correct?

    : Hoyst (10:08AM)

    Yes, I was correct. There was no neurological activity detected.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

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  21. RSVP

    : Hoyst (11/16, 6:31PM)

    Better yet, can you explain them both to me? I had to take a brief break to post my …

    AVATAR #78: THE PRINCE OF WALES!

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio

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  22. I like Pawn Stars, I think of it like Antiques Roadshow but different (stuff scouted out and researched in advance, etc). But otherwise agree with this bitch. Where’s the history, History Channel? And the women? Women are 50% of the population and historically have also done incredible things. Why don’t we ever talk about them? :/

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