We had a good thing going on for a while. It was hot. It got oily. But then it got greasy. When you kept making me traipse off to meet you in that secret spot after dark, it had to end. I am a lot younger than you, but I am still a grown woman. I know certain people might have something to say about it if we got together, but we’re both single adults – who cares? You act like I don’t exist until its time to squirrel me away like your dirty little secret… I wish I could stop thinking about you and those nights we spent together. And I wish you didn’t worry so much what other people think and take this chance to be with me. This isn’t turning into much of a bitch – I wish I could say you suck, but you’re really great. If you can ever stop being such a man-child and take me by the hand and walk me to your car; maybe we can try this again. I miss you. But I’m not stealing off into the night like a criminal! —You’d Be Happy If You Had a Mind To
This article appears in Jan 5-11, 2012.
Read the book, download the movie – he’s just not that into you!
Dude, you’re his fucktoy. Not his girlfriend. I don’t understand the confusion here. He doesn’t WANT to get together with you. He doesn’t WANT you for his girlfriend or his wife.
I’m willing to bet he already has someone filling that role.
And i think it’s really arrogant to say “Well clearly you don’t know how to be happy because you won’t be with me” Are you kidding dude? You’re an amusement at best. I should know. I’ve been in relationships like this. What makes you think that YOU are the one that could make him happy? Because he told you things you wanted to hear so you’d open your legs?? Don’t be so naive.
Op. Seriously. This will end badly. You’re going to get hurt no matter what you do because you refuse to see the reality of the situation. If someone came to you and said “I don’t get it.. the dude i’m sleeing with only wants me around when we have sex, insists on hiding away when we DO have sex and otherwise pretends i don’t exist” (which is exactly what you just said without the adjectives) what would YOU say to that person?
The writing’s on the wall honey. Either take it for what it is or have some dignity and leave. If you insist on having feelings for this guy, the latter option will hurt much less.
NOT gonna happ’n
Even fuck buddies/people who want sex only can treat you “nicely” and “relationshippy” when you’re together (cuddles after sex, pretending to care about you, touching you on the neck or putting their arms around your waist, etc…)… the key is to look at how he/she treats you when you’re not around (does he call you or email or text you just so say ‘hi’ and ask how your day is going or is the main topic of conversation when he contacts you is hooking up?) and how he/she treats you while you’re in the company of others. If you’re in a crowd and he doesn’t want to let on that you’re more than just friends, than he’s never going to want to be in an actual relationship about you, because, and I don’t mean to be crass or mean, but sometimes the truth is both of those things: he doesn’t like you, he likes your pussy.
So either move on, or keep sleeping with him (I mean if the sex is good), but either way, you’re not really on this guy’s radar.
Old blue eyes is likely married. Stop sneaking around with married men. This never ends well, for you or his wife.
Your Daddy issues make me sad.
just not that into you?
he already has been….
it sounds more like part of the movie ‘bridesmaids’…
It’s the porsche that got ya in the first place….
wasn’t it?
It does say that they’re both single adults, but if he’s hiding your little affair there’s got to be someone he’s hiding it from.
Or maybe he’s just got a few lady friends and doesn’t want to be seen out with anyone who might be mistaken for a wife or girlfriend.
It sucks to feel used, OP, and I wish I could tell you how to get that time you spent with that person off your mind, it’s a lot easier said than done.
Eh Fuck HIM! And his wrinkled old ass, OB. You sound like you really invested a lot in a jerk. Move on and fine someone who deserves you.
Sounds like an electrician I know… he has blue eyes, married with 5 kids and loves to meet women late at night for sex.
I thought you said your husband was a bus driver, Bon?
That’s probably what he tells her, PK.
Cool story, Bon.
The OB sounds like an easy fuck. Wow, do those people ever cease in Spryfield.
Sebastian, don’t be so cruel. The OB sounds like a girl in love.
HE’S MARRIED
***Sebastian, don’t be so cruel***
Being cruel is Seb’s LTWWB raison d’être
Had to Douche pile and get on with your life….
“kept making me traipse off to meet you in that secret spot after dark,”
… … … … … I bet you suck at the game Clue.
He’s not worth the headache.
i have blue eyes, but know you aren’t talking to me.
I’ll bet she’s really gross, that’s why…
OP, here’s my question: why do you value yourself so little as to put up with this shit? Punt this cunt to the curb or drop the rest of your self-esteem into the toilet – your choice.
Do you happen to have his home phone number, or just his cell?
Yup, you’re a side dish OB. The main course is elsewhere.
Dump him, he is not your soul mate.
Ya, find a man you don’t have to convince to take you into public. I know you are going on the fact that maybe he thinks the age difference is to much but really men don’t mind age differences. So move on and find someone else. Sounds like you deserve more and your looking for more.
EVeryone’s dissing you OB (nothing new for this site) but there are LOTS of possibilities not known from your info.
IF as you say he is single & somewhat/much older than you. Maybe he has children or family that he is concerned about. Perhaps he’s heard that often May – December romances very rarely last. He may be embarassed that he could be ridiculed by the age difference & is much more concerned about these “possibilities” than he is for your feelings. Or perhaps you just haven’t let him know in know uncertain terms you don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks, & just want the two of you to be a couple.
And of course it could be everyone else here is right & you should DTPOS !
Best of luck
Did you start out by meeting in public? If so, why the change? He’s obviously hiding something. You!
Sounds like a situation you should extricate yourself from. The “single” part may be an exaggeration.
Look, You’re probably better than this! Stop waiting for he douchebag to fall in love with you back. He doesn’t care about you. You probably tolled him, in a way, that you care more for him….and how does he respond? He calls you at 3 am in the morning on a week night asking, “What’s up?”. Turn your phone off becuase he’s is worthless. I was in a position like yourself and it never will change. The only way that you can get him to have one ounce of respect for you is ignoring his calls and texts and foreget his exsistance. Find that guy next door that cares about you and will go out of his way to make you happy. xo