Learn how to drive. Brake, signal, etc, etc.
Stop putting food in your face. You’re gross.
Build something, for fuck’s sake. A park, a building, anything.
Stop striving for the title of being Canada’s Detroit. Jobless, criminal fuckers.
Import some foreign women and start breeding out the shuffling, cookie-cutter, fat-ass, barely female women you’ve already got.
Send all puka shell necklaces back to their home in the ocean, and send the men wearing them along with. All other man-jewelry should go straight up its owner’s ass.
Stop building shopping malls. How many fucking Suzy Shiers do you need?
Get dressed and wash your hair before you go outside.
Get off your cocksucking cellphone. You live in Halifax. You are not important. Your friends are not important.
Don’t ever leave Halifax. Please stay right here. Go to the Dome. Do a shot. I don’t care.
Thank you. Piss off.
—Bill Brasky
This article appears in May 21-27, 2009.
Must be from Vancouver…
I vote Upper Canadian, or American…
I vote Upper Canadian, or American…
One thing for sure, I would love to know what scary-ass clowns came to his b’day party! I will also hazzard a guess…dangerously homophobic, possible cross dresser, and has clearly never been to Detroit. Most likely crack addicted as well. And I am suprised he finds SNL even slightly amusing. Mommie issues, and ekes out a megre existance as an embalmers assistant….which would explain his criminal record as a necropheliac….did I miss anything?
I love these people, they bitch about Halifax, yet they stay. So who really is the idiot?
“barely female women” fucking classic OP, but once I took you moms skid marked thong off she was a helluva bang and a great gal, that I might call back one day. Have a good one future step child.
bahahahahahahaha! Dino i think i love you
Despite the fact that Bill is clearly a self-important scrotum, he does have a point about the Suzy Shiers. Gotta give him that one.
The worst thing about Halifax are you people that think Halifax is so fabulous there is nothing to complain about. Write off someone who dislikes the city as an American or an Upper Canadian. Please. You are the reason that Halifax continues to suck. Change cannot occur in a city full of overly defensive, ultimately insecure people with their heads shoved entirely up their asses.
expat –
I think Halifax has changed for the better a lot over the years (anyone remember the big mountains of trash under the Mackay Bridge in the 70s). Personally I prefer it for the semi-shithole town it is as it discourages overdevelopment / inflated real estate costs and the yuppies that come with it. Stay in Toronto.
Expat…exactly which other cities that you have lived in, are you comparing Halifax to? and it begs the question, why live here?
I like Halifax, but I hate certain things about it, and want other things to change. But it doesn’t matter where you live, what city, town, village, or where ever, there are going to be pros and cons. There are bound to be things that you like and things you dislike. There are going to be people you meet that you will dispise, others you will adore. If it is really that bad, than I’d leave. I went out Calgary a couple of times in the last few years, once last summer. Not that great. And aside from the mountainous view, not as beautiful as most of Halifax. But I saw a guy chase down a hobo that had dropped a 10 dollar bill. I have never seen that here. Toronto, been there frequently. If you like hustle and bustle and partying, it’s great. And access to a lot of things. But a very dirty city and quite scary in some spots as well. Vancouver. Dirty and full of junkies. Edmonton..getting close. Winnipeg…most of manitoba is wrote off. Moncton…boring, although they have come aways, and are continuing that trend, for now. Cape Breton…blahhhh, but a beautiful little island. Friendly people for the most part as well. It doesn’t matter where you are, there’s going to be soemthing you hate, I am just thankful there are sites like the coast where we can bitch about it!
Flying Brick, I do not live there. I work in the international community. Because I was smart enough to realize my student loan would never be paid off in a call center there. BUT, Halifax is still my home. It is the permanent address that I must return to every year so that my Resident Visas can be renewed.
I am not comparing Halifax to the 100s of cities I’ve visited around the world. I just know that, eventually, it will be my home again…and I don’t want it to be the shithole that I left.
expat –
We’ll get right on transforming Halifax into some sort of utopia without your tax dollars so you can retire in style.
Ah HA! Typical Haligonian! What makes you think I’m not paying tax? I guarantee I am paying more tax than your call center, honey!
I work internationally too, dipshit. Now I only do it for 6 months a year, but I used to live full time abroad – anyone who establishes a residence in another country and still pays tax here in Canada is a fool.
Ohhh…please. Sad. You don’t know who my employer is. You don’t know where I am or what i do. But you want to make some stupid comment like I suck because I don’t pay taxes and now I somehow suck because i do. Sorry to insult you with the call center comment. You obviously have NO job. Good luck with that.
You’re still pretty stupid if you’re only back here once a year for some paperwork and you still pay taxes. Do yourself a favor and declare non-residency.
Yeah, I’m not really sure why you’d be paying taxes here either man
I own property there you silly plonkers. Unreal. You, to quote Murder Junkie, “dipshits”, have just reinforced my original point. Anyone looking for land in a crap ass town full of closed minded, uneducated “dipshits”? I’m seriously thinking of selling…
Is it near a call center?
It IS in Halifax…so most likely
Not surprising since you yourself said that was the best job you were capable of holding down here.
I’ve actually never worked in a call center. Hope I never have to. But come on…you LIVE in Halifax. You have to know that people come out of a 4 to 6 year (overpriced) university program there and this is the best Halifax has to offer them. And then they will throw a press conference congratulating themselves on luring some shit organization there tax free. It is wrong.
If you have a good, solid career, I’m glad for you. But this is not the case for many who live there. I was lucky to get out.
Hey, Halifax is not Canada’s Detroit. That dubious honour goes to Hamilton.
So expat, you’re one of those hostel-dwelling, self important douchebags that travels around the world? Or do you simply teach English in Asia? Wow, you’re important.
I actually agree that Halifax outputs far more professionals than the place is capable of sustaining. I don’t work there either. I think where we disagree is on the shit-hole town point. I accept and actually like Halifax for what it is and always has been, whereas you’d like/expect to see it transformed into idealistic “super-city”. Don’t hold your breath.
Naw. that’s not true. I don’t want a supercity. Just one that has a useful city hall and pays as much attention to the population under 40 as it does the one over 60. We probably agree a lot more then we disagree. I’m just tired of these “Halifax-is-great!” militants. Its not…accept it and move towards improving it.
Yeah, Dr Fever. Never lived in a hostile…and never taught english. Sorry to disappoint.
I use my overpriced education to do consulting jobs in countries at war. Now you can kiss my self important ass. Watch out for the fucking landmine…
I hope expat was typing what he was thinking and just blew up on a landmine… If so, the world is a better place…