To those of you who pour out of the bar at closing time, especially you Tuesday night amateurs: you are drunker than you think and you are louder than you think. Veteran drunkards stagger quietly home. If you’re going to invade their watering hole, at least learn from the experts. You like the fact that the bar is a neighbourhood place? Then respect the neighbourhood it’s in, for pete’s sake, and stop waking me up with your loud, inane chatter about who’s sleeping with who, or how drunk you are or whatever the hell else. You may know how to silkscreen, eat soyanaise and ride a bike with a milk-crate strapped to it, but at closing time you’re no different from a shit-faced jock hollering his way home from the liquordome.
—Sleepless on Maynard
This article appears in Jul 16-22, 2009.
Most likely messed up on some crappy local brewed hemp beer … even worse when they get their menstral cups kinked up…
Keep a couple of water balloons handy! Harmless vengeance ….
Harmless but considered assault nonetheless according to the law. And what the fuck is soyonnaise? Just the thought of that makes me a little ill!
It sucks, agreed. So can we stop posting these? It feels like the fifth one I’ve read in a month.
Fuck the water balloon – try a garden hose at full blast.
Hipsters are the absolute worst drunks.
drunken hipsters? YIKES
Do they make fair-trade, organic beer ? I must not have heard of it, just like their music..
i sprayed drunks with a hose before
THEY DO! make organic beer and get this one
Organic water LOL