I am getting Married! I know, you’re all absolutely delighted to hear about the complete stranger on The Coast page is getting married.
We really wanted to have a tiny little wedding. My parents, his parents, and my brother, sister in law and my nephews. but nope. Someone put it on Facebook. Well they didn’t put it on Facebook “hey my friend ______ ________ is getting married, congratulations.” But it was a little half assed, off the cuff, she’s secretly 13 years old Facebook update “So A Certain cousin of mine is getting hitched, apparently no one is good enough to go to this wedding, but don’t tell anyone because no one is privileged enough to be invited”
From the outside looking in, it looks like I am a selfish twat who wants all the celebration to myself. And it looks like I am embarrassed to have my family at social events. Well, yup. This is the family who does not posses indoor voices and everyone in the restaurant gets to hear about how the dog got the runs after eating garlic bread. So my new in laws, who are wonderful people are encouraging me to have a larger wedding so everyone can celebrate together. We have a 1000$ budget.
So my extended family is insulted. And this is after 4 years of living together, and in those years, I have received zero birthday cards, zero Christmas cards. and zero thank you’s for the countless birthday and baby shower gifts I have sent out. So my family is now in world war three because after so long of not acknowledging me, They believe they are entitled to a huge party in their honour but on my dime. “weddings are a time for family celebrating” yeah, so was my college graduation that no one could be bothered to attend. And my 30th birthday that everyone had other plans for. The miscarriage and job loss I fought through alone. So what the hell are they entitled to?
So it was a 66 comment battle royale on my cousins facebook page on team me and team her. (Which I didn’t not indulge in) and my phone has not stopped ringing. for the record: 86 texts about how selfish I am and 2 people saying congratulations _____ is a great guy, I’m happy for you.
What the hell do I owe these people? They are my family and I love them. I like being with my cousins, we are all adults now, I think the youngest cousin is out of high school now. But the cousin who started the fight is in her 40’s.
My first wedding was a little bigger and these are the same “family” who were making bets on how long it would last. And when it ended and I was miserable watching his new girlfriend help him move his stuff out, I get a msn message (I know, msn) inviting me out as that friend won the bet, and wanted to buy me a drink.
All I know is that I love my fiance and he makes me very happy and I feel loved. That is really all I need. I shouldn’t have to justify my decision to my family, they should accept my decision.
and even if they feel that they should be hurt or insulted, why not just come to me, instead of making it seem like I am doing something wrong by not throwing a huge over the top tacky wedding for people who have proven time and time again that they couldn’t care less.
I am not indulging them, I am having my wedding and, so far: My budget of 1000 is seeming quite adequate as the license and Justice of the Peace are only 250 total. the cost for resizing an heirloom ring is less than 100. And I am going to be barefoot in a dress I made. So the difference is going to be donated to the IWK. Which my fiances aunt has agreed to match dollar for dollar. And I told the very few supporting family members the same, if they want to celebrate, they can make a donation as well to the IWK.
If I can’t help my family see how love helps. Maybe another family can benefit instead. —Blushing Bride
This article appears in Jul 25-31, 2013.
Well done
Your Family are fools but you, thankfully, are becoming less of one. Don’t let your family drag you down just because you were unlucky enough to be related to them.
Its silly to think that family/elders/authority figures DESERVE respect and recognition just because they’re related/old/employed. People EARN the PRIVILEGE of eating at your table OB.
I strongly suggest going all Harvey Keitel BadLieutenant on their asses and tell them to get fucked.
“All I know is that I love my fiance and he makes me very happy and I feel loved. That is really all I need.”
Enough said. Congrats on not caving.
WRT to the Facebook nonsense, I suggest blocking posts to your wall/timeline for the time being, provided you don’t want it to become a family gossip forum.
Op do what we want to do. Have a destination wedding somewhere far away. Send invitations and explain that they’ll have to foot their own airfare.
Problem solved. Most people just want to know you want them included. Ask them to rearrange their lives and they probably aren’t likely to come.
Of course the downside to this is that some of the people you REALLY want there may not be able to make it. If you have the means you can help them out but if not, it’s a bit of wedding roulette.
I like what Cranky said, stick to your guns and do it your way OB.
The other option is to do exactly what you’re doing. Explain to them that it is supposed to be small and if you invite everyone you want to, it won’t be small anymore. You can’t AFFORD a huge wedding (that one is a great reason!)
You’re not doing a damn thing wrong. It’s YOUR special day. Yes, it’s your family’s special day too but ultimately this is all about you and your fiance. How many times in your life does this happen? Don’t compromise in a way that ruins it for you or your wallet.
Oh tell them all to piss off, OB! Congrats on your engagement and props for doing things your way.
My cousin is getting married on NYE and is having her parents, his parents and her brother there. And our family couldn’t be happier for her.
Your extended family needs to grow the hell up!
congratulations and you are completely in the right. Ive already told my family we are getting married were going south to do it, if you want to come you can stay at a different resort and you are paying for everything to do with your trip. it VERY quickly weeded out the people who wanted to come
So after you’ve been ignored through everything, they still expect to be included. What a bunch of ignorant, self-important cunts. I can’t stand takers like that. They wont give anything but if they found out that they missed out on some free food, watch out because you just murdered Oprah with the intestines of Dr.Oz.
You owe them nothing, OP.
We got married last summer and had a guest list of about 80 people. We had to leave out numerous (mostly extended) family members, but these were also people who aren’t really part of our lives and i’m sure some of them were offended, but guess what? Too fucking bad.
They’ll have no choice but to get over it OP. This is about you and your future husband and noone else. It’s selfish and unfair of these people to try and make this about themselves, but that’s family for you. I would continue to ignore them just as you’ve been doing and enjoy your engagement. Congratulations 🙂
we got married in our backyard, i catered it. so simple no drama and cheap
I say Cave in to their demands, on your (my) terms.
Since they’re pretty much cowards by confronting you on impersonal message systems, post in kind.
Set up an Event to an out-of-the-way, but not too out of the way to not be worth it, location. Complete with a common time and date most would be able to attend.
Don’t show up. Why would you, you’re someplace else having your real celebration.
When they all start chomping at the bit about WTF happened just say you don’t know what happened. Tell them plainly that all the information on the FB event looks correct, you did have to edit it at one point to change some of the event information….. maybe something happened with the upate O.o oh well eh, done is done.
The sweetest revenge is one well planned. (insert maniacle laugh)
Or if they can’t respect your budget, why not ask them to throw you a party after…. an informal reception, pot luck and byob.
Speaking of Harvey, just a little off kilter……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir8Y4iFrWk8
Have the smallest, cheapest wedding possible and give ’em something to be really pissed about. Don’t waste another moment on people who don’t have your best interests at heart. Family or not, it’s your wishes for this occasion that should be respected. And don’t forget to kick your guilt to the curb – your family isn’t worth it.
what miserable cretins. stick to your guns. people who go into debt to throw lavish weddings have small penises and large vaginas. all of them.
tap water for all our guests, no ice. cheers
Link this bitch to Facebook and they should understand why they shouldn’t be invited.
Ah, the ol’ subliminal Facebook status, a.k.a. coward’s communication technique. Don’t yas just love reading these pathetic digs on your timeline? Don’t you just feel like writing “Grow a set” in the comments section?
With that said, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, OB. Remember, you’re marrying that wonderful man, not those asshoops.
Oh, Good Dog Molly, that made me laugh! I had never heard large vagina used as an insult before. But it is very apropos. Why should we only diss men’s equipment?
unfriend the… what was it, asshoops? (niiiiice) …
life sucks bad enough already without people like that to deal with.
Who wants a constant reminder of asshoopery?
definitely adding ‘asshoops’ to my favourite words list.
And leave it to Zed to add a little flavour to it… Asshoopery haha! Priceless!
A wedding is about the following: two people who love one another making a life long commitment in a way that suits them.
That’s it.
Have YOUR wedding, and the heck with everyone else.
Congratulations to you and your fiance!