Happy almost spring everyone!
Ok, I don’t want to sound like an ignorant asshole…. I really don’t, but something has been bothering me and I would like to make a observation and then ask a few questions regarding Halifax’s blossoming Lesbian community.
I work at a retail store downtown Halifax, one that (not by my choice) sells rather drab, “frumpy” cloths etc. EVERY SINGLE DAY we get at least 3-4 Lesbian couples who peruse the store. So of course I make mental observations of people that come into the store, as I am sure that everyone does while in retail (and probably many other jobs) I notice that every lesbian couple, looks almost the same, not only do each couple look the same but in most cases the individuals within the couple look the same as their partner. Furthermore, as a male, the lesbian couples always treat me and my other male coworkers like scum… They glare, give ‘stink eye,’ get snappy, complain and are generally awful to deal with. (however, there are some really sweet couples out there too!…But sadly its a rarity)
They all look either like skinny versions of Ellen Degeneres or a combination of Peter Griffin from the family guy and the Penguin from Batman Returns. (sorry The coast for using Specific names!!!) The dead give-a-way is their hair cut; skinny or clown shaped they all have the same haircut….the obnoxious square “funky hip” glasses are optional but the other dead give-a-way is the constant scowl.
So my question is twofold
First; These people are so ugly, so unbearably ugly AND they are so sour (they even seem to hate each-other and everyone else in the world…) how ON EARTH could anyone ever be attracted to these people??!! …Have they been ridiculed all their lives for being so ugly and pathetic that they joined a club of like-people who accept them for who they are and they go along with dating etc. because it is better than being lonely? I just don’t understand it. They seem so unhappy, so fed up with life, they seem like they want to give society the big FUCK YOU… and yet they do this by being grumpy little conformists who look like cookie-cutters to the next…….
I feel like going up to them and giving them a HUGE Bugs-Bunny kiss on the lips and saying “Turn that frown upside down”, (maybe throw in some Jazz hands whilst I am at it!!) But alas, I would most likely be either thrown in jail, or beaten into oblivion.
Second; So I was thinking about these lesbians that frequent my shop…. for the most part they physically look the same, they definitely dress the same (in some cases they even wear matching outfits!) they have the same haircut, the same, the same jewelry, they have the same ‘fuck you’ body language, they have the same ‘fuck off’ attitude AND they have the same anatomy. (if-ya-know-what-I-mean!) Isn’t this a most acute and profound form of ego-mania?
Its amazing how your mind wonders when at work!
Anyway, I don’t mean to be insulting or an asshole…so 1000 apologies if I was insulting and if I was an ass! And I am not saying that ALL lesbians are like this…. just the couples that come into my store. so please don’t think of this as a rant on Lesbians in general, because it isn’t!
Anywhoo…..
XOXOXOX
This article appears in Mar 6-12, 2008.
Not all lesbians will look the same, you are probably helping some lesbians who you actually think are totally straight. However, all lesbians who decide to wear the “Lesbian Look Which You Describe” will look the same, because it is “A Look”. I feel the same way about Dal/Kings Students. Not ALL of them avoid showers and try to look poor, its just the owns who don’t shower and try to look poor who do that. No biggie.
there’s plenty of straight women who look like that, and put out the same “fuck off” attitude vibe…talk about sweeping generalizations…
maybe they just don’t like you
Maybe they’re all menopausal.
Princess, shut the fuck up. Your snide remarks on everyone’s Bitches are beyond boring.Do you sit in your room with a framed 12 inch ‘glossy’ of yourself (done at SEARS portraits ) in front of you and snap off “witty” remarks in the Coast in-between furious masturbation sessions where you stare into your own eyes and make kissing and lip-smacking gestures?Read the Bitches you fucking comment on for fuck sakes!!!!!!!Frump says that he and ALL the male workers get this treatment, not just him.Not only are you a total self-absorbed imbecile (love your picture by the way) but you have absolutely no sense of humor. Going up to some angry militant Lesbians, giving them a kiss on the lips, saying something absurd and throwing in some ‘jazz hands’ is some seriously funny stuff. Quick!!! hurry up and finish touching your lonely, crusty twat, you might just miss an episode of Frasier
Princess, your retort was hilarious! It had me in stitches. But I am a tad bit confused. You say that you won’t stoop to my level of insulting, that you “don’t go that low.” Are you saying that you won’t use obscenities? Because frankly, telling someone to tie a brick to their feet and jump off one of the bridges is pretty insulting, especially if that someone has had a very close friend commit suicide recently from one of those bridges. As far as having to change my hobbies and having too much time on my hands, I think this is ‘calling the kettle black.’ It is YOU that spends far too much time typing your mundane observations and comments in here…the fact that you even have two names with pictures for commenting reiterates this point.Furthermore, it is YOU, “honey,’ that takes the bitches too seriously. Previously I was merely calling you out for being boring and taking a funny post too seriously.Anyway, ‘darling,’ I can’t wait to hear your response to this, I am sure that it will be similar to all the yawn-fests you keep spewing out.ANDwhat the fuck is wrong with people who comment on these posts?….I mean, I don’t want to defend this fuckin idiot, Frump, but are people even reading the post?Jane D’oh, the person said that they are not saying that ALL LESBAINS ARE LIKE THIS. he is making an observation about the lesbian couples that look and dress the same. And frankly I think that it is an interesting question that he poses at the end, Do people in same-sex relationships, whose partners are almost mirror images of themselves, deep down just want to be in an intimate relationship with themselves? Its sad that no-one has even tried to address his two questions and have just ridiculed him on moot-points. Tsk tsk
“First; These people are so ugly, so unbearably ugly AND they are so sour (they even seem to hate each-other and everyone else in the world” that says it all!and if you read all the comments there not sitting here to ridicule him its mainly your feed back on other peoples comments.Also i think Princess ment when she said ” that she won’t stoop to your level of insulting” she doesnt want to sit here and argue with you over something stupid but who knows.
Janet, seems that you have too much time on your hands darling. I won’t stoop to your level of insulting, I don’t go that low. Unfortunately honey you take the coast bitches way too seriously you might wanna consider a different hobby? I hear chess is good, checkers both regular or chinese. Perhaps you just need a personality adjustment. Well whatever the case Janet you do need something may I suggest a cement brick, either bridge and yell Man over board!! as you drop. Someone might hear you.
Hey, what’s wrong with Frasier?
Yah… you are kind of an ass actually. As others pointed out… generalizations are evil and you actually have no idea who’s a lesbian and who’s not. Judge people by how they treat you… fine… but don’t transfer that to the entire group.
“First; These people are so ugly, so unbearably ugly AND they are so sour (they even seem to hate each-other and everyone else in the world”And you wonder why there hateful? its because people like yourself with their rude remarks and sterotyping tisk tiskFrumpy lady
How eloquent! English must have been your Major at university, Jane.”….and if you read all the comments there not sitting here to ridicule him its mainly your feed back on other peoples comments” What does that even mean? Are you saying that most people in here are NOT ridiculing Frumpy they are ridiculing my comments? Well, SHIT, maybe English AND Math were your majors. Snaps, maybe Logic (philosophy) was your Major too; saying that you will not stoop as low as someone, in this case by being insulting, and then turning around and insulting someone is hypocritical, no matter what she meant….At first I thought that you were just another manifestation of Princess (why does someone need two profiles AND with similar names? Is it because of multiple personality syndrome?) and that you were defending yourself by pretending that you were someone else. But even though Princess may read like a script from a bad slasher film…….The killer walks into the smoke filled gas station’s Diner and sits down slowly at the bar..OLD HAGGARD WAITRESS (princess):” What’ll it be, honey?”KILLER: “What ever is fucking good in this shit-hole”OLD HAGGARD WAITRESS (princess) “Listen, DARLING, perhaps you need a personality adjustment”…the killer then gets up calmly, walks over to his car, opens the hood, takes out the battery, walks back into the smokey cafe, rips the top off the battery and throws acid into the waitress’ face…KILLER: “Maybe you need a FACE adjustment!”etc etc.(sorry for that digression, yikes!)….So even though Princess reads like a script from a bad slasher film, at least, Jane, she can put together a few coherent sentences.Amazing.
“Anyway, ‘darling,’ I can’t wait to hear your response to this” janet you were asking for a big bitch rant to yourself right there!and by the way i like frasier (prob becaus ei didnt have cabel for a while)
Jane, you are a very weird and, dare I say, ‘slow’ woman.I hope that your strange responses are some sort of Jeff Foxworthy-eske dry-humor and not actual thoughts from your brian.Have a good night.
uuughhh, brain.
Janet, Princess has about 14 different names on this board, it looks like Jane is one of them – they’re easy to identify – at some point somewhere, they “agree with princess” (one of many, many tells.) Ignoring them is really the best way to deal with them – none of their posts make any sense, they’re cliche-ridden garbage, and indicative of either a pretty serious learning disablilty, or complete inability to function in society.
qwerty, those two ideas are not mutually exclusive 🙂
True 🙂