I am an 18 year old woman and spend a fair amount downtown Halifax, usually in the afternoon, early evening. I am sick and tired of greasy 50 year old men hitting on me in every possible way, it’s fucking disgusting. I am a modest girl and I don’t seek any attention but I always seem to attract all the creeps around here, sometimes when I’m with a crowd of people waiting for the bus, these creeps just seem to pick me out and talk to me, but nobody else! These creeps need to fuck off, I don’t feel safe anymore.
—tall lady
This article appears in Apr 30 – May 6, 2009.
You must be relatively attractive if you’re getting singled out in crowds.
I hate to say it, but this is just life. Get used to being oogled by men — yes some of them will be “creepy”….but, let me ask you this: would you have such a problem if the men “bothering” you were in their 20s/attractive? Betcha it wouldn’t.
Look at it this way: if you had fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down no one would probably bother with you…wouldn’t THAT be worse? Ask an hard looking woman and she’d probably switch places with you like that. So, I guess there’s SOME positivity in all this?
Watch your body language, do you know what your vibe says? Predator types and creeps watch body language to select their targets. Be aware of your public presentation. If someone approaches you and you’re not comfortable, ask them to please leave you alone. If they don’t leave after a polite ask tell them to piss off.
I fully understand this bitch. The men in Nova Scotia are UNUSUALLY aggressive.
Kay: Please don’t say “The men in NS are …aggressive”, but perhaps SOME or even MOST, but not all. I promise!
Holy crap, if we’re considered UNUSUALLY aggressive please avoid certain other countries that I won’t name for fear of the interneted flame action…
Russia?
Shit, you’d get your ass slapped over there without a second thought. Men in NS are NOT aggressive.
I wonder if the OP is just terrified of communicating face-to-face with other people. Maybe if the old dudes sent a ‘txt’ with a smiley face it would be all cool!
You know how lazy and afraid the Internet has made kids today.
I feel your pain OP. It often makes me ashamed to be a female, being objectified as such. I’ve resorted to dressing very plainly, but even that doesn’t help.
Having gone to a certain private school which involved wearing a kilt everyday, I feel your pain. Those creeps are so disgusting.
Im not sure why you dont feel safe OP. They are only speaking to you!.
Hm… I have a feeling that this would happen anywhere OP. Go to any large city and you’ll find just as many guys, or more doing the same thing. Please don’t think all of us are a bunch of creeps.
Kitty— As someone of Russian heritage, I can say a Russian man would never hit a woman. They’re usually too drunk. It’s hard to hit someone when you can’t see straight.
uhh…creepy guy’s suck..but TRUST me when I say it could be worse…I use to have offers made to my dad all the time, goat for you daughter?….That’s not even that bad actually, How about getting flashed by nearly every man you walk by, at 13…so yeah, it could be worse. I am usually a nice person, who doesn’t like confrontation, but when guy’s approach me with their womanizing creepy BS, I turn into bitchmode, and I suggest you do the same, cause being nice to creeps isn’t going to get them to fuck off.
I agree, I posted a bitch “keep your comments to yourself” about a week ago, stating the same thing, go read my story. people bitched me out for wearing low shirts and being scandelous, when i aswell am a very modest person and 18 years old. kreepy men SHOULD FUCK OFF.
holy crap on a salteen…
if it’s not them complaining guys are jerks for breaking up with them… it’s because they’re jerks before even talking to them. Yeah, they’re creeps because you’re out of their league (and generation I suppose) but I do recall Anna Nicole grave-robbing… and she’s not alone. If they don’t try, they’ll never know. I do find that a little tough to believe but on another note….
how the fuck are there so many people in this world already when the women get so fucking offended by everything every day. Throw on some tunes and ignore people for crying out loud… you’re wearing what you’re wearing because you like it… presumably.
Three offered some solid advice. This used to happen to me all the time. I was a creep magnet, they would always pick me out of a group and they all wanted to talk to me. It stopped after I started to conduct myself with a little more confidence. Keep your head up, don’t hunch your shoulders. Don’t worry about coming across as rude and never talk to them just to be polite. If someone is making you uncomfortable don’t let it show just tell them to get lost and remove yourself from the situation.
wow…get over yourself…
Up until recently I was a single make for several years. And every female friend I have told me to just be more confident, talk to women ’cause you just never know, blah, blah, blah. Now everyone’s saying this is the wrong thing to do?
I think Pretty Kitty had it right about it only being offensive because the guys talking to you aren’t attractive. If they were hot young guys hitting on you, I bet you wouldn’t mind so much.
Creepiness is a tricky thing. Sometimes traditionally attractive 20 year olds can be just as creepy as smelly old men. Sometimes old men aren’t creepy at all. It comes down to giving a girl personal space, don’t hit on strangers, but you can talk to them about every day things without being creepy, generally. But some people just have a creepy vibe to them, maybe it’s desperation. And if you try to talk to a girl, and she is obviously trying to avoid talking to you, you’re being creepy if you keep trying. Walk away and don’t stare. Compliment her on her shoes if anything, that will give the idea you haen’t been staring at her boobs or ass.
Listen up, sweetheart, next time this happens, you take a deep breath, look the old tool right in the eye and say very calmly: ‘If you don’t get the fuck away from me, I’ll rip off your head and shit in your neck.’
didnt lostmore post almost the same bitch last week and it was concluded much to what nevermind just said…if the dude is younger(and attractive) its not creepy?
it seems it is very hard to be an attractive woman these days, what with not being able to speak and say, “sorry, not interested sir.” the art of communication is lost on anyone under 25 these days.
i liked NGF’s comment about “txtn” it. if dude had an iphone hed be cool shit. however, OP hanging around downtown youre going to encounter men of the polite and not so nice variety. if you find yourself not interested “just say no”. simple.
It’s the way in which the guy approaches you. I don’t give a shit how hot a guy is, if he comes up all hey babying me he is in for a surprise( Perhaps commenting along the lines of what TTFN mentioned). If a guy is 60 years old and approaching me in a respectable manner I’ll talk to him for as long as I’m there. It’s respect, plain and simple.
lool the funny thing is when a lady responds politely with : no sir not interested. the Creeps usually respond with : Playing hard to get, ooooh I like that.
Hence my approach…you get nice the first time, fuck off if I have to say it again.
1fallingangels1, what was “goat for you daughter?”? That sounds crazy!
Oh, and on-topic…more support for the two (or more) -tier solution. Give a nice “Sorry…I’m busy.” or something before ramping up to “Seriously…Are you retarded? I am not comfortable here. Please fuck off right now.”.
OP, kitty’s right. Its life. just know its nothing “wrong” with you or nasty that’s making the men look ( unless you’re wearing some xxxtra scandalous outfit). They look at all the pretty girls. Just keep ur head up.
LOL, just as it seems, I use to live over seas and it is appropriate conduct in the culture. The whole arranged marriage thing…livestock being a very valuable resource, being that it is a continuous food source. Therefore very valuable.