This bitch goes out to the group of immature and hateful assholes who drove past me and my friend on Spring Garden Road at lunch hour and yelled “You look fat in that dress” and “Lose some weight cause you ain’t hot” – What the fuck? As my friend was male, I can only assume your insults were aimed at me – I’m 5’5″, a healthy weight, and was wearing a dress that was entirely appropriate and fitted. I can take a jab to my ego. I can handle being startled and embarrassed. What really aggravated the shit out of me was how hurt your next victim might be. What if they are struggling with an eating disorder? What if they are new to city life and scared shitless by your angry outburst? You were four adult males driving and verbally abusing young women. What the fuck? Fun times? Totally impressive? Jesus christ – grow a brain and a conscience. I would like to hope that you may one day regret your hateful words, but I doubt your intellect would allow for such reflection – so I’ll just say how dare you? and FUCK you, you fucking assholes. —Wish You Weren’t Driving So Fast (Slow Down You Reckless Idiot) So I Could Rip Into You
This article appears in Dec 15-21, 2011.
Why can’t people do drive by compliments?
Had a friend once shout to a lady in her garden “those tuplips are beautiful” … the look on her face said WTF … then she laughed.
Ahhh … it’s ok OP.
That would be too civilized Donk…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8zNsUTWsOc
But yeah, drive by yellers are cowards, and hate themselves.
One of the more disgusting things I’ve read lately.
When I was 12 years old someone drove by me and yelled “SLUT!!” at me.
I don’t really see how a 12 year old in jeans and a t-shirt can look like a prostitute, but okay.. feel free to scar people for life.
Anything shouted out of the window of a moving car that was not provoked is for shock value. You have already given that incident too much effort, douchebags like that don’t deserve pause for thought.
The fact that they did this from a fast moving vehicle just shows that, besides them being immature, they are also cowards. I’m with SHITD on this, you’ve already given them too much attention.
I knew a guy who used to always honk and wave at people. Startled some of them but most people smiled and waved back.
one girl yelled, “gimme pizza” as they went by…
I lifted the pizza over my head as the only signal I could think of…
they stopped and came back for a slice.
damn, does weird shit ever happen here.
What does one call a group of assholes?
A pile of assholes? (piles is the plural of hemorrhoid)
A sphincter of assholes?
hmmm…got to be a word…
I think some time ago we decided that “clyster” was the multiple for douchebag.
“a clyster of douchebags”
It sings.
Right, Bean, but I wouldn’t want to be accused of not knowing my arsehole from a hose bag…
I bet it was a red Subaru right OP?!!? Some douche drove past me on Spring Garden this Sunday, honking and yelling and had some very inappropriate decals all over his windows, of a large primate anally penetrating a little reptile!!
I once told a colostomy patient that he didn’t know his arse from a hole in his side .
Yeah, I’m going to hell. >: (
So were these assclowns female??
I ask OP, because last summer i was wearing a gorgeous summer dress that I really think looked great on me and a random car goes by. Both girl and boy are looking at me. Girl yells “You’re a whore”
Why?
Because she was buttfuck ugly. AND her boyfriend was checking me out. The car cruised by going about 4 clicks and the entire tableau was laid out very depressingly.
This is what jealous, miserable women do. Try to make confident women feel like shit.
Donk I totally do the drive by complement. It’s so fun to see the expressions on people’s faces when you announce their win for all to hear.
Okay OP i’m clearly having a moron moment. You’re saying GUYS did this?
Fuck.. cowards. I’d like to see them insult someone with a penis.
Heh Heh Heh – Everybody see what Mel did there?
HotDamn – it’s gonna be a good week >: )
Okay.. one last comment on this (because i really want you to feel better OP..) Want to know why guys do this kind of shit to women?
So they’re 4 men all alone in a car. Sort of a wee bit homoerotic in a funny sort of way.. And there’s nothing wrong with that but they’re painfully aware that they have no action. No woman wants them. They probably smell like vinegar and dead skin cells and their parents are alcoholic welfare rangers.
Okay so we’ve set the scene.. Now take you, or, more importantly, take the guys you’re with. They see you, probably looking VERY FUCKING HOT and not giving a shit about their existence. And now these blue-balled dimwits get angry. “Why don’t women pay attention to us?” “why do we have to cruise in circles day after day with only other blue-balled dimwits to keep us company?” “Why are we so useless?”
CERTAIN men have this weird habit of abusing women that show them absolutely no attention whatsoever. It’s weird OP.. But I’d almost take it as a bizarre sort of complement because guaranteed if you DID look boring and dumpy, they wouldn’t have noticed you to begin with.
Wow, Mel. That is so weird. I had the exact same thing happen to me too!
Red Subaru Imprezza….if ever there was a car that screamed overcompensation for a …*ahem*…”shortcoming”, that would be it. 😛 heehee
Drive by compliments are creepy as well .
Can anyone think of something that broadcasts L O S E R, clearer than the actions of this car load of assholes ?
usually you can’t hear them anyway, depending on how fast they’re going. if someone yells one of my names i will react, otherwise i find waving like the queen is soothing
a daisy chain of assholes
a SPAM® of assholes
Well.. I never.
SOMEONE won’t ever get a smile and a wave from me again.. OR a Christmas card!
HUMPH!
A “rictus” of assholes.
Many moons ago some friends and I were exiting Garbagetown after a night on the tiles and a trio of steroid jockeys were passing by and one of them loudly said “Look, 3 dudes coming out of Cabbagetown together. Must be fags” Well, there was the usual puffing and posturing as the 3 of us confronted them and since the odds were even it didn’t escalate, not even when I pointed out – “Well, there’s 3 of you walking down Spring Garden together so that’s real PhD logic on your part, isn’t it?”
We walked on about 20 feet, turned around simultaneously, yelled “FAGGOTS” and ran like fuck.
Hay the 80’s were a much more innocent time>; )
LOL @ Mel!
I asscone you guise.
Also: my dad’ll randomly honk and wave to people. If you ask him if he knows whomever he’s waving to he’ll be all “no, but now they’ll be spending the rest of the day trying to figure out who I am.”
ahaha
Alsox2: in the little assfuck community my mom’s family’s from in CB, people just… wave to you as they drive by. Everyone does it. Mind you, info on who’s who spreads like herpes down south during spring break, but still. Even if you don’t know who the fuck they are, they still wave.
it depends on the car horn, there’s the angry one and then the toot toot. i find good brakes are more useful than a horn
Mel made me do it, TJ. I swear. It’s all her fault. 😛
In all honesty, I’m just jealous of your sweet ride. It was a pleasure to meet you this past weekend.
May I humbly submit for Xeno’s approval:
A Flatulence of Assholes
(You could also just make it easy and use the term “City Council” to refer to a collection of assholes. Just a thought)
was that you o.p.? seb thought you were his mother, and her girl friend. oh well, you can’t win them all.
Or, for brevity’s sake:
A flat of assholes.
Wp
Wheelie, how about a fart of assholes?
prediction op..these peeps have a tough life ahead of them ..like really tough
Tim, that’s good, but too singular. Vastie’s flatulence is more encompassing (in a purely non-literal way) Or, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing: a noxious cloud of assholes…
rictus and clyster are awfully good, too…
…and ‘asscone’ PK? That’s bloody brilliant-can’t wait to tell Aesop (but I bet he’s already seen it—he always has)
<3 mouse ears ass cone less than three love
hahaha-
Aesop’s contribution: A stink of assholes
A pucker of assholes
A Pucker of Assholes?
“ever there was a car that screamed overcompensation” – OMG, I’m thinking of trading down to an Impreza. What does that mean?
@ bitchinlocal – My Ex did that once to some kid, from the back of my bike. She thought it was funny, the rest of the day didn’t go well, at all.
Frig, 1 minute too late 🙁
OK, how about a Clench of Assholes.
Someone once drove by me and yelled “nice shorts!” Although it may have been sarcastic of them I yelled back “thanks for the compliment!”
NSoccupy: a thinktank of assholes.
OP accept my appology on behalf of the losers of the world. Sorry you had to experience assholes being assholes. Just remember things like this happen to every type of person in some form or another. When it happens to you it feels like you are alone but you are not alone.
I liked I Kramer’s comment above. I liked that he sincerely wanted to make you feel better.
***
I liked I Kramer’s comment above. I liked that he sincerely wanted to make you feel better.
***
and I bet he looked yummy in that sundress, too.
I wouldn’t worry about it OP, the collective IQ in that car was about the same as your shoe-size.
Oh man, I’m friggin dyin over here.
Hugo, you see the new Imprezas? They just got em in, I was at the dealership to get a tune up yesterday. The sedan’s pretty cool lookin but I like my style of hatchback better. The new one’s kinda boxy.
Avast, the pleasure was all mine buddy, maybe next time we can cruise the city for chicks or somethin.
Hmm let’s see we’ve got some good ones..
I guess I’d probably use the word cluster. A cluster of assholes or an asscluster. I liked rictus.
“Clench of Assholes” I vote that one.
That one’s good too
Hay guys, I was too busy sleeping in to read the comments since my comment — can someone summarize?
http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/8430/D…
Also: can i come crusin’ for chicks too? I like chicks!
http://candson.com/Chick04
Marshmallow chicks aka peeps. Cruisin the Lawtons for peeps. YUM.
What the deuce!. I was all prepared to depart for my bunk when I clicked on the link.
Blast!
lol I think we’d have to leave the city to look for those kinds of chicks, but sure PK, if you got gas money.. if not we can maybe work something out.. 😛
Darling, they try to kill su fags so get oveer the drive-by insult, eh? And find a better drerss ’cause you look fat in it and need to lose some weight cause you ain’t hot (three snaps up)!!!
OP: here’s one that happened to me:
I was out for a walk, in my new yoga pants and hoodie, thought I looked real cute. When I got to the lights, I had to wait to cross the street. A car load full of guys drive past, and the driver yells “Daaaaamn girl you’re ….FAT!” The bad part was I stared to smile, cuz I thought he was gonna say “Daaaaamn girl, you’re FINE!” but no. That smile froze like a mafucka on my face lol. Wut a coward, made sure he yelled it after the light had changed and he was going thru the intersection. Was too stunned to give him the finger or yell he had a small penis. Instead I had to stand there and keep waiting at the lights embarrassed cuz it was summer time and every other car had their window open and heard! Wow, that sucked. Would have been worse if I was on a date though. I might start walking with a big rock in my pocket in case some dick tries this again. His back window will be smashed and he’ll be lookin at my fat ass in the rear view mirror……RUNNIN!
Oh that sucks! OP here’s one for ya:
Back in the summer I was out for a walk in my tight yoga pants & hoodie…I was thinkin I looked real cute. When I was standing at a traffic light waiting to cross, a carload full of young guys drove by and the driver yelled “Daaaamn girl, you’re…..FAT!” The worst part is, I started to smile, cuz I thought he was gonna say, “Daaaamn girl, you’re ….FINE!” but no lol. That smile froze like a mafucka on my face. That little bitch caught me offguard, I couldn’t give him the finger or yell that he had a tiny dick cuz he cowardly waited till the light changed and he was into the intersection before cowardly making his comment. Next time, I’ll have a big rock in my hoodie pocket for the next lil bitch that got too much to say. His rear view window will be gone so he’ll have a clear view of my fat ass RUNNIN in the opposite direction. And then go ahead and try to charge me bitch. I will counter sue for mental cruelty and harrassment! And ya’ll wanna take matters into your own hands and chase me? I say, fuck it I’ll fight ya bitch ass…I got a lot of fat girl aggression pent up in me from years of dieting. COME AT ME, BRO!!!
oops I posted that twice cuz I didn’t think it went through the first time. lol sorry that bitch got me a bit worked up!