Whoever invented the idea of saying grace at a meal time is fucked in the head. I am not going to let my meal get cold by saying grace or let a loud mouth say it before my mashed taters gets ice cold. So for all of you out there the next time I put something else in my mouth I will say grace just for spite. Meat is meat skin is skin open your mouth and shove it in! —Sick of letting my food get cold for nonsense
This article appears in Jan 6-12, 2011.
Usually grace doesn’t take that long. FFS, OP, take a chill pill.
Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin’ there in your ghost manger, just lookin’ at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin’ me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.
Rub a dub-dub… thanks for the grub… yaaaaaaay God!
That’s how me pa says it, if necessary 😀
lol I’ve always preferred “Good food, good meat, good God, let’s eat!”
An excellent alternative!
Jesus, what’s the big deal? It takes less than a minute to say grace… although I don’t know many people who say grace anymore anyway. Just hold on to your horses, your food isn’t going anywhere.
Aunt Bethany saying grace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZcZVugtF6w
….now, let’s eat.
I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.
Grace takes all of 30secs anyway. Calm down. If you have even an ounce of manners you’ll wait until everyone is seated before digging in, so what does it matter if you have to wait an extra few seconds.
This has got to be a fake bitch anyway. It was a cozy tradition when people used to be very thankful for their food – and they needed to recognize the hard work and sacrifice that went into making a meal.
Now, the majority of people like OB here, are too busy cramming their face full of high fat/sodium garbage produced at the cost of rain forests or slave wages being paid to indigenous workers that they can’t take a few fucking seconds to honour the wishes of the (probably) elderly people who want to say grace. They put you fucking lazy good for nothing impatient ass on this earth, prick. Take a deep breath, and wait.
But. I stand by my original assessment. FAKE BITCH.
It’s highly likely.
my nana’s name was grace. on a side note i just met rosie and monty…simply loverly
God is good, God is great, thank you for this food we are about to eat. Amen.
This year my sis got carried away into tears during grace thanking God for our health and family and the bun in my oven. It was nice….but I like mushy stuff.
Very cool, PG. Rawk! 🙂
Good bread, good meat, good Gawd, let’s eat!
Aw…. mushy is good. Unless it’s bananas. but then it’s still ok if you’re making banana bread. So I guess mushy is always good :’)
I like the name Grace, actually – good name for a little girl bun!
….matron, it was always “good food ,good seat ,good….” in our family
Must have come from before my time when there wasn’t enough chairs & some ate standing ~;)
But my brother when we were young, our grandmother asked someone to say the blessing at supper & he said . I can do it nanny.
He then bowed his head & said ” grace – amen “
Miss Ralmn!!!! Why do you always have to mention food!!! it’s killing me. Yesterday I thought about pasta all afternoon…..and I just lost my banana bread craving only for you to mention it. I’m hungry now. frig!
(I do like Grace too – but I have my girls named picked out – it’s the boys Im a little stuck on).
I have/had a great-aunt named Grace.
Umm… oops. Please don’t go read the love page then RC.
Yikes! 1st rule: never mess with hungry mama bear!
🙂
Well… The banana brad at startbux isn’t too shabby if there’s one near by??
Awesome Painey! Did Monty say “Woof, Woof”?
there was much woofery from all the lovely dogs, i had a cuddle with monty and rosie got some rockets and a couple of tootsie poops. rosie is my kinda gal^^
Been to the love page Ralmn. I now have a meal plan worked out for the next month! I’m trying not to eat out, except once a week. I’ve packed my lunch every day since I’ve been back – so no SB – I will bake a banana bread this weekend though…or possibly go to that beautiful market on Saturday….my step mom had this bread/roll thing last week that looked like a braid…tasted amazing…sort of a really soft diner roll / croissant. .. I need to get one.
I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life’s journey.
it might have been egg bread rc sometimes called challah
OB, if you were the host, and it was your table everyone was eating from, then this is a valid bitch. It would be very poor manners indeed for a guest to say/suggest grace without the hosts prior permission.
If it was not your table, and you did not pay. STFU and be grateful that you have something to eat.
Here’s a question OP…. do you believe in God? And by the way, do you generally eat your food outside or in an igloo? Because that is the only way your food would lose any of its hotness during the course of a 15-second prayer. IMO, if people want to thank a pretend puppet master for the food they are eating…. so be it. If it allows them to feel like the food is earned or will taste better.. sure I’ll ridicule that in my head, but hey- to each their own.
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I’m here to party.
I like to think of Jesus with, like, big eagle’s wings, singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like, an angel band, and I’m in the front row, and I’m hammered drunk.
Thanks Z. I will never pray again without that mental picture in my head.
Getting close there 195.
Jesus woud have been a biker 😉
http://scotteriology.files.wordpress.com/2…
http://icantwatchisitoveryet.files.wordpre…
Fo’ shizzle. I can just imagine him cruisin’ around jerusalem on a hawg.
excellent research 195.
now if we could only get that avatar changed….
I think mine’s due for an update too.
not quite the holiday season anymore
Ain’t nowt wrong with Maiden. 😛
If you’re referring to a BJ, if you start saying grace befprehand, it will only give dude an ego. Just sayin.
Who gives BJs and worries about potatoes getting cold – Rawr, you’re comprehension skillz are a wee bit lacking. Ha ha.
LMAO
A relative of mine was trying to force us to start when they are over. I told her that I didn’t care if her kids sang the Tibetan national anthem before eating, but that forcing my kids to to it was unacceptable. After several tries, she relented.
Giving thanks for your food (to god or Mom) only takes a moment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Swf_dYyhyaM
(and rawr, I though OP was talking about a BJ as well = )
the great flying speghetti monster does not require that inane shit. you dig in and pig the fuck out.ah yes, the god of gourge.
>blushgiggletee hee< (and THAT was Monty!) Tootsie pops and rockets, no PG, you're MY kinda gal. So that's 2 now. Sorry I missed Sir Hugo yesterday. And: “Sister Grace, love your face,
Love you in your nightie,
When the moonlight flits across your tits–
Jesus Christ Almighty!” — London Bobby
i coulda stayed there all day but i didn’t want to get you in dutch. i had lots of cover stories given my situation…you are welcome at the shop avec the cheins anytime, i am not always there with the ma visitations and such. all the dogs were gorgeous, i really wanted some play time with the big shepherd^^
“Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.” – Bart Simpson
You were totally on it PG! My boss can be a bit testy at times, so it’s hard to judge. Monty and I will very well take you up on that offer so we can chat right proper (since Ivan has totally failed at Bitcher’s Summit Redux). FAIL! 😀
Judas Priest! All these pokes at Jesus. He must be rolling in his grave. And now…I’m going to Hell. See Ya!
Have fun Senor, I’ll be right with ya!
Senor … Haven’t you ever heard the story how Jesus ‘rose from the dead’ & when they went to check on him he was gone !
Which isn’t all that hard to do with an imaginary person.
this one’s good for a larf http://www.whatmormonsbelieve.org/images/f…
having already met with rosie, i can tell anyone out there that she is a sweetie. and if i could, i would love to have her as a mate, but some here know the true story of the suckster, right ivan. and yes, i have also met our comrade ivan, who is a very astute chap. and quite knowlegable in the book world that he surrounds himself with. and soon comrade, we must partake of some more idle chit chat f.t.f., and maybe have a few others join in the fun.
I don’t care if people want to say Grace, as long as they don’t expect me to take part in the process. I’ll start my dinner while they are doing their thing and happily ignore them if they’ll happily ignore me.
Pavillion…. while I don’t believe in saying grace before meals IMO what you are saying is disrespectful if it’s in the context of eating in said person’s home. I mean, if you have THEM over, by all means…. My parents say grace before their meals and if they come to my place or if we are out at a restaurant I will just start eating. If I am at their place, however, I would never dream of going ahead and starting until they have finished their little ritual.
I agree jonno. Just because you don’t have a preacher telling you that your bad doesn’t mean courtesy, respect and tolerance should be thrown out with the bible.
If you go to a strange country, you wouldn’t think of insulting or mocking the local peoples’ customs.
Bow your head and mentally write a to do list, if need be.
Nothing wrong with Grace:)
That’s right, Grace is Amazing.
Speaking of which….. Bro Tim and the rest of the gang…. perhaps you can all help me out with a bit of a moral dilemma I’ll be facing in the coming few years….
My grandfather is quite close to seeing the end of his years…. I happen to be ‘a little gifted’ on the musical front and have discussed his funeral with my Mom. She’d love it if I’d play and sing Amazing Grace at his funeral. Although I am a firm-standing atheist, I also feel that I should honor my grandfather (as well as my mother’s feelings) as best I possibly can. Any thoughts? Obviously I won’t be meaning the words I sing, but it is a tribute rather than a display of faith, no???
IMO jonnoman, funerals are for the living not the dead. If that’s what your mom has requested I say do it for her.
When I sing ‘I am the Walrus’ at the top of my lungs I don’t mean the words either, the dogs just like it.
(I’ve also sung Amazing Grace not because I’m religious in any way, I just like the way it sounds) Again, just my opinion. 🙂
Hahaha… true, but on the other hand there does not exist a large number of people in this world who day in and day out follow the belief that they are, indeed, the walrus…..
My thoughts were pretty much as you’ve confirmed. Just wanted to get some unbiased opinions.
It’s the first song that popped into my head… I hang my head in shame. If your Grandfather has a sense of humor (preferably a bawdy one) you can always rip into a dirty ditty after the last note of AG has disappeared into the air.
I also don’t think that Freddie Mercury believed that Fat Bottomed Girls really do make this rockin’ world go ’round… Fat Bottomed Boys, maybe… you get my drift 😉
though, somehow, I do believe sir mixalot.
Bahahaha….. my grandfather in his present state would likely appreciate such a thing. The rest of the funeral attendees, however………. let’s just say I’d be staying close to Grampie…. 😉
And actually BR, you need not hang your head in shame. Oasis performed a really cool cover of “I Am The Walrus” and released it on the Wonderwall single. It’s actually pretty good, although I am a pretty big Oasis fan.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/lolrus/
LMFAO Brendon. SOBova and I luvs da walrus an his bukkit.
jonno: it matters not what you believe, it is a sign of respect. my dad’s dad had that song played on bagpipes at his funeral. makes me weep when i hear it. do what your ma wants, it doesn’t change who you are^^
Nothing I can add to Painey & Rosie’s beautiful thoughts. It’s a lovely song and when you hear it, you won’t think of William Wilberforce, or The Royal Scots Greys or God; you’ll think of your Grandad.
we’re just a couple of old softies admiral xox
You guys are the best. It only solidifies the decision that was all but made in my mind.
Anyway, back to the original bitch… whatever the hell it was…. Wait a sec, I don’t think we even care anymore do we?
So- how are things?
All this talk of Amazing Grace takes me back to the early 70’s when the regimental pipe band of the Royal Scots Greys had an A.M. radio hit with their version of it, at least in the Edmonton area. My Dad took my little mono record player and put it next to his stereo console and tried to sync up the pipes with Judy Collins version. Not totally successful but you could argue that the old man was the Original Dee-Jay, Grand Master Warrant Officer and the Cranky 5 >: ) Sqwak
I played Miss Patsy Cline, Walking after midnight at my mom’s funeral…cause we always sang it together.
It should have been a no brainer Jonno…yes mom of course I will!
Z…thanks on the sir mix a lot comment….now please go change your picture…that wreath is depressing me.
I hope everyone is having a good morning and enjoying the beautiful snow outside. (2 hours drive home yesterday!
i love that song rc, it’s on my women only playlist. i want to meet your dad ivan! back to the ob…when we ate at my nana’s house we not only had to wait til grace was finished, we didn’t eat until she began her meal. she was quite the lady and we weren’t bothered a bit. we loved and respected her and it was all part of the experience
This combination of fog and snow up here in the woods behind Dunder-Mifflin is strangely beautiful. Reminds me of the seige of Bastogne episodes of Band of Brothers. I half expect to see an SS Panzer Division come blitzing out of the trees.
I want to but I also want brendon to get rid of the maiden av.
leverage is not easy to come by on anonymous boards.
What do you have against Maiden? 😛
i am having a mh day…our backyard is very pretty and the crows on the snow are beautiful but no donkey yet…heehaw http://www.wunderground.com/data/wximagene…
Rawkin that pic Painey – good on yer for standing up to your martinet of a boss >; )
People who have seen me and me Old Man together have been known to use the word “clones?” He has less hair but otherwise… Funny thing is he only started to resemble me when he hit his 60’s WTF up wit dat?
It’s personal and I’d likely be flamed for attempting to draw sympathy…
of which I want nor need none.
Do whatever the hell you want, but we’re not friends until you change it….
so screw you, I’m going home.
LOL Ivan. I love when kids look like their parents…it cute to see genetics in action.
zZz…I know what Brendon looks like and he’s usually around my area…Also I can get PurpleFire to give me his details…I will track him down and beat the crap out of him if you change the pic! I think that’s a pretty good deal….a pregnant woman beating on a 21 year old skinny kid. And yes I will post pictures for proof. How’s that for leverage?
lol It seems RC is wilier than I thought (no offense intended).
okay, why don’t you both change your avatars…tho i would like details about this “maiden” thing http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/c…
It has been changed. 😛
jeez louise 195 don’t do that, my power levels are out of whack^^^
Jono, it’s not going to hurt anything and will be a comfort to your mother. I think you’ll make the right decision.
What was Bredon going to do? I missed something.
I just changed my avatar is all. Though I did it while PG was typing her usual peace-making post.
i cannae help myself. i hope that song post didn’t upset you rc…in retrospect it probably made you weepy. sorryroo
I already cried once this morning..lol. I’m good for awhile. Also the song made me smile.
Nothing wrong with Grace even our cat and dog does it 🙂
Dogs saying grace (note one dog feels the same as OP and since the owner knows his limitations, she rushes to finish up = )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmVLa0rGqEM
too saweet…love those bernese mountain dogs^^st. francis would be pleased
http://humanityhealing.net/wp-content/uplo…
Hilarious! Can’t decide on a Bernese or a Newfoundland for my third dog… >sigh< Hey PG, we forgot to exchange emails... tee hee!
well you can always email me at the shop…may i suggest a longhound for the third doggie^^http://www.stanley.mydogpages.net/artists/…
Love them too! Reach me at: the_blackrose@live.ca! we’ll talk puppies and flash mobs and tootsie pops!
done and done…how bout one of these
http://dandelionmama.files.wordpress.com/2…
Love it! I would totally take it! I swear if I worked at home I would have 15 dogs… at least!
i like these http://writergurl868.edublogs.org/files/20…
Talk about go big or go home! Love the wolfhounds… I like the gigantic breeds… don’t know why, but they fascinate me! If I had the money I’d love to start a rescue called ‘Team Big Dog’ and deal will all of the huge puppies that can’t find homes. Motto: ‘Never Argue With the Big Dog, the Big Dog’s Always Right’ (yes, cribbed from Tommy Lee Jones in ‘The Fugitive’)
love tommy…for the wee breeds i like these guys and basenji’s. both very aloof
http://runningonempty.us/wp-content/upload…
I can’t stand Airedales. I know it’s totally unreasonable, but my dislike has remained since I had a run-in with one when I was about 10 years old. It was my own fault, of course–I cut through the backyard where it was out getting some air. I caught sight of it when I was about halfway through the yard and fear quickly replaced any guilt I felt for trespassing. Time froze for a moment as we stared at each other, each of us, I assume, considering our options. The option of bolting and trying to beat him to the fence seemed the most viable to me. I got within 10 feet of my objective before he reached me. Only instead of sinking his teeth into me, as I expected, he tackled me. Regaining my feet, I didn’t get a chance to take another step before he was on me. Literally. The little horndog, who was almost my height standing on his back legs, wrapped his front paws around my waist and started humping. Yep, the intent stare I saw as we appraised each other before the chase began was not filled with the hostility I imagined.
Ohhhh… well Kim, at least he believed in the old adage ‘Make Love, Not War’. Could have been a lot worse!
hahaha, the perfect size for the humping. they get that glazed look in their eyes
and then… there’s Toby:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej8nO7rLm9U