So, I was out shopping the other day, browsing around at some little shops in the Darkside. I had just finished a large double double with the full fat cream and a smoke, when I felt something brewing bad. REAL bad. My irritable bowel had been triggered and I knew if I didn’t hit a public bathroom pronto to drop the kids at the pool, there was gonna be a massive explosion in my spandex… I went into like five different shops and none of those bitches would let me in to drop a quick deuce. You fuckin arseholes! I know you all have shitters in there, because where else do you and your employees do your business? What is the fuckin problem with letting someone use your bathroom for two seconds? The last lady was very rude, just said “Um, no” and turned away, even when I said it was an emergency. I almost shit myself, bitch! On my way in one of the places, I saw a couple of things I would have bought too. But since you have no common courtesy for shoppers, now I wouldn’t shop there if they were GIVING stuff away! I think there should be a policy or regulation in place for all store owners that if you want to open a business and are allowing the public into your retail environment then you should be made to provide general necessary fucking amenities (ie a first aid kit, a safe environment and a damn crapper). Or at least throw some johnny on the spots in the parking lot for desperate times. DAYUM! —Should Have Turned Your Fitting Room into a Shitting Room
This article appears in Jul 5-11, 2012.
1) More than enough tree swingers out there cannot tell the difference between a fitting room and a shitting room if some of the stories we’ve heard are are to be believed.
2)Think of the markup on your lycra stirrup pants with 500 lb weight limit, if the store staff had to clean up toilets after you , Miranda, Carrie and Donatello (?) were done shopping.
3)Large Delta Delta with cream? Why didn’t you backtrack to where you purchased it. They DO have latrines for CUSTOMERS.
4)No foolin’, you jess gonna have to do yo 5 finga discount shoppin’ elsewhere, now ainchu?
There is a one word answer to why they won’t let you. That word is…crackheads!
If you’ve had IBS for any length of time, you should know that coffee and cream can trigger a sudden loose bowel movement. If you didn’t know that, I guess you do now. Also, as an IBS sufferer, you should also try and make sure you know where you can run to drop your deuce should you need to do so in 15 seconds or less. Take some responsibility for crying out loud.
Not sure irritable bowl and spandex is a good combo..
Fo’ shizzle, that was a baaad day. Prairie-doggin’ sucks yo.
Testify, sistah. Especially when bus-bound. Thank Jehovah for that free newspaper and the field next to the Kwik-E-Mart in Highfield. >: (
I think there’s an app for that. If not there’s at least this website. http://www.cantwait.ca/
we have two washrooms at our shoppe, customers are welcome to use. with the rest of the unwashed, it’s a judgement call, please flush
…and we have an awesome first aid kit and a nurse is on duty at all times^^
Two words – colostomy bag.
this happened to me a long time ago. i was about 17 or so, the place was a retail store. i won’t say which one, but if someone here worked there, they will know who i am. anyway, had to go in the worst possible way, no public bathroom, asked if i could use the staff room, nope. okay, ley me try on this pair of pants then. fitting room at back, door closed, ahhhh, took off pants, put mine back on, and left store. mission acomplished.
so..where you fling that mud anywho? 🙂
I don’t want strangers shitting in my toilet bowl; that’s what public bathrooms are for. As long as my business isn’t a restaurant or cafe, which it isnt, your bowels are not my problem! Sorry, but some people are fucking rude, undignified slobs and I’m not cleaning their shit spatters from all over my toilet! I’ve seen what some of you filthy apes as capable of; I allowed it once and wiped smears off the fucking WALL afterwards, nevermind the fucking toilet, and threw my garbage can in the trash…..after I allowed a respectable, tidy looking, 30 something adult male to use the bathroom. NEVER again!!
Not to mention most people who claim their bathroom needs are an “emergency” are probably more likely to let it all out ALL over your bathroom.
I’ve been witness to the horrors that can come out of another human’s ass and it’s one of the reasons why I don’t go through Pearson when I go to Toronto.
*shudder*
My sympathies, Lucyfer.
Usually the employee washrooms are located somewhere where customers aren’t allowed to go, usually where other employees may keep their purses, backpacks and other valuables. I certainly wouldn’t let someone with an “emergency” plug up the toilet and splatter their shit everywhere while the staff has to wait and can’t use it themselves (staff usually can’t leave the store unattended, hence why STAFF washrooms exist.). I once worked at a fast food place where we had customer washrooms and someone informed me the male toilet was plugged. Well I went in there, saw the pile of stew in the toilet and stuck an “out of order” sign on the door. FUCK THAT SHIT. Do you want the lady making your sandwich unclogging a shitty toilet? There isn’t enough soap in the world to make my hands feel clean if I had to unclog that.
Cate, interesting map, but also funny they list the Subway on Portland Street, since it is under lock and key and requires a purchase to use.
ok, I can understand that the stores don’t want people abusing the facilities, but what ever happened to a little bit of common courtesy? If the woman looks like a productive member of society and she is in an emergency state…..let her use the crapper.
Lucyfer, stop cleaning other people’s shit with the wrong tools. Get yourself a long handled brush and a bottle of toilet cleaner.
A number of years ago, I had a summer job involving janitorial work in a big airport. Smears on the walls? Try all three walls and door _covered_ from floor to ceiling as if the occupant had exploded. Floor wasn’t in any better shape, save for the footprints. Still haven’t figured out how someone could splatter shit on a 8′ ceiling.
Saying that people are gross is such an understatement that it would require a new word altogether to fully describe the ludicrous filth some individuals are capable of.
GreatValue, a long handled brush won’t cut it. Past a certain point, it becomes quite justified to consider a hazmat suit and a pressure washer loaded with bleach.
Let’s not even start with the needles and other interesting discoveries.
I would absolutely love it if it was possible to retrofit ‘customer facilities’ with the kind of fully-enclosed stainless self-cleaning public toilets i’ve seen a few times in Europe. Person goes in futuristic oversized porta-potty, does their business, person walks out, door locks and a combination of high-pressure sprays and hot air blowers restore it to pristine condition within 30-90 seconds.
I agree with GV. What happened to common courtesy? If somebody is in discomfort and they need to use the facilities, let them. Don’t subject them to more pain or the humiliation of eliminating in their trousers. You’re not supposed to hold that stuff, it’s not good for you. It’s not your crapper anyway, it belongs to the owner of the business.