Why the hell did I have to run over a racoon on the way to see Avatar! It just ran right in front of my car. This is just after reading about the repeat young offender in Dartmouth raping his cat. WTF? And earlier today I made the mistake of also reading the HRM’s violence and public safety report. Get it together Halifax, there’s enough accidental violence and cruelty in the world without having to add to it.
Peace and love Halifax, peace and love!
—Discouraged
This article appears in Jan 14-20, 2010.
Hey OP, it’s OK—an accident is not cruelty.
Sad for the raccoon (I hope he went quick), but you didn’t run over the poor little feller on purpose. No need to beat yourself up.
I know it’s disturbing when it happens, and everyone hates to see it, but sometimes it’s just the way the world goes.
I don’t think you need to go to the Nepalese monastary to atone—you sound like a pretty compassionate person already. I think you are on the right path.
Let the racoon go meet his maker, and/or start his next life maybe as something better.
sounds like you’re suffering from a case of post-Avatar depression – http://www.ajc.com/news/avatar-leading-to-…
You have saved several compost bins from being ravaged by reducing the racoon population so don’t feel too badly about that. However, anyone who would rape a cat deserves to be fucked up the ass with a fire hydrant.
I agree TTFN.
Accidents are the way of the world, but deliberate cruelty is more than I can bear.
Although, now that I think about it, from what I have seen, a youth who would engage in such a disturbing act has most likely been a victim of truly horrific violence himself.
I would hazard a guess that he has literally been raped a number of times already, most likely by a parent or parent’s partner, and possibly at an extremely young age. Very, very few 15-year-olds would do something like that just to be “bad.” In such a case, I would look to the family first to see what “lessons” they have been teaching their child. (That’s just a guess based on the cases I have seen in my past job.)
We see the resulting behavior, and are rightly outraged, but I always maintain we should also look at the cause.
And then, yes, I would recommend the “adults” involved should suffer the punishment you have prescribed.
Cats don’t seem to be the type of animal that would tolerate rape. I have a tough time putting my cat into a cat carrier without getting bitten and scratched…I just can’t get my head around how (let alone why) someone would/could rape a cat.
Miles,
You have place the most horrible, disturbing, yet strangely hilarious vision in my head, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Was it the kid’s mom that called the cops on him ? If so that is fucked up all in itself. To do something as messed up as that is pretty sick, but obviously the kid has problems. I guess the mom in this situation cared more about the family cat then her son. You would think the first person she would call is a shrink not the cops. But hey it might help explain why the kid is raping cats.
Never mind the why’s and wherefores as to why he would rape a cat, hang him now. He’s a repeat offender, strike 1, he raped a cat, strike 2 – no strike 3, do not collect $200, do not pass go, straight to the noose for this piece of shit.
Neuter the family because the gene pool has obviously been pissed in.
Not trying to excuse anything here, Basil—I think that what that kid did, if indeed he did it, is horrible and reprehensible.
Just pointing out that this kind of behaviour is usually a tragic sympton of stuff that’s much much worse going on in the background. (Makes me sick to even imagine.)
And I think it’s terrible that the “adults” always get away with creating these situations in the first place, and are happy throw their kids to the wolves when he gets caught doing what he was “trained” to do.
Again, I’m just speculating, as I don’t know any details of the case, but I have never met a normal person from a normal situation who would just out of the blue decide to do something like that.
I agree RJ. When 15 year olds do fucked up shit like that they are probably abused themselves and/or plain ol’ crazy. That doesn’t excuse the behaviour but might go a long way to preventing it again in the future. Locking the kid up won’t change him but locking him up and giving him therapy might. And if you can ID the parents or someone else as conducting the abuse you can lock them up and throw some therapy on them too.
RubyJane… I agree with pretty much everything you’re saying.Whatever your precious job was, I’m sure it’s one I want to be in. My goal (with my current Soc degree and hopefully future Social Work degree) is to work with young offenders.
You make valid points and didn’t attack right away… definitely commendable on your part.
Hi Ms. Lala,
Thanks for the comment.
I left social services/youth work a long time ago, but I should admit that it kind of scarred me for life. It takes a very good person to do that kind of work, and I am not that person.
You do meet some wonderful kids—and you find out that even kids who have done terrible things can still be wonderful kids—and you learn to live with that kind of strange contradiction. Once in a while, you even have a chance to make a difference for someone who has no other opportunity.
You also meet some horrible adults, not worthy at all of the title. I found I couldn’t take the fact that these monsters were allowed to walk around freely in the world, among us normal people, with no consequences for all the terrible ways they ruined the life potential of their children. People were so quick to tell me that the kids should be “locked up for life”—while the adults always somehow came off smelling like a rose.
You can’t see things like I have seen in those files and not be troubled by all the ways the actions of a few people ripple out into society.
I shouldn’t digress about it so much on here, but it is cathartic, and it helps exorcise a few lingering demons from that time.
If you are strong enough to do that kind of work, I wish you all the power in the world to do so.
All the best to you.
—Ruby Jane
RJ…the adults were probably kids with problems once too.
BTW…I have a friend who worked in a similar job and has had some serious psych problems from seeing those same files. Hard not to take your work home with you sometimes…even when you don’t want to.
Yes, absolutely, the adults were once kids themselves, and the kids grow up to become adults. And you hope that somewhere along the line the cycle of abuse is broken, and someone gets a real chance at life.
The people who do well working in the field have almost super-human levels of patience, acceptance, strength, fearlessness . . . and some kind of inner “joy” or something that lets them see the tiny sparks of goodness in a person even when all existing evidence would make one believe there isn’t one.
I met some amazing people in that job, and wish that I could do what they do. I am glad to see that there are still people “out there” who care enough about these things to give that career a try.
damn garbage eating coon deserved what he got!
somebody should tell the kids that puberty is what allows them to break any cycles. Come puberty you either reject or embrace the “values” imposed on you by your parents. That’s really the only natural possibility to not “become” your parents without years and years of hard therapy.
Uh..Kay…how is a kid who has been abused all their life going to be equipped with the skills necessary to break the cycle? While that does happen, it is certainly the exception rather than the rule. And what makes puberty the magic turn around point?
Yeah, Kay, I do understand what you are saying, but there can so much irreparable damage done—often physical brain damage due to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or repeated blows to the head as an infant or child, not to mention the very real psychological traumas—that the person often has little or no idea that “other” ways of living are possible or “allowed” for them.
Also, I did meet many kids who were conflicted over the issue of rejecting their parents ways . . . but even though they were at the “age of reason” (say 12 or 13) to “understand” this they were still very much under their parents’ control.
If they tried to escape, they became what we know as “runaways” with all that entails (usually no good comes of that), or they were returned to their parents custody or provincial “care”, which is where my role was. (By the time they were in a place were “I” was in their life, nothing short of a magic wand could fix or undo some of their problems.)
It seemed to me that at the very age they needed the most parenting, they were expected to parent themselves. And many of the kids literally WERE also “parents” themselves, thus compounding the problem further.
It’s all very complicated, and if I had any answers I might still be doing that work.
I am thankful that I do have the freedom—physical, emotional, social and intellectual—to make my own choices, and hopefully live a good, happy life.
But I tell you that when I see kids like those we are discussing here, and I see the “adults” they become, I know that it is only through a chance of birth that I am not living with the stuff they are living with.
Magic: tell an 8 year old to go clean their room during Saturday morning cartoons. Now try it with a 15 year old and see all the magical differences puberty makes. And you can’t stop it. Each human being must become independent from their parents and all those hormones makes it happen whether you like it or not… either they embrace or reject what’s been taught to them and they’ll spend the rest of their lives reinforcing those choices. YES, they’re choices. Given public education, what they see on television, what they observe within their community and/or church will either provide for the development of the coping skills required to break a cycle or will cater to the continuation of said cycle. Kids get to CHOOSE and they do.
What I see are a whole bunch of fucked up adults who made poor choices and continue to make those poor choices for their children. Enter puberty and all of that CAN change but it’s up to the kid to flex their own independence and use the resources presented to them… public resources ARE presented to ALL Canadian school children.
maybe it had just seen avatar,and had a death wish. you got lucky to help it along to where ever they go, when they become roadkill.
Don’t you people get tired of having your bullshit comments reported and removed? DER, try to be more pragmatic or even a little relevant in your approach and maybe this can be fun for everybody, eh? Too much to ask? When you don’t know it’s me posting none of this banter shows up so what does that tell you? SHEEP. Grow up. Break the cycle and GET THE FUCK OVER ME
Kay, what you describe works well for non-abused children. It’s more complicated and more difficult for abused kids. Tell a 15 year old who you’ve been beating up since they were 8 to go to their room and they might just do it to avoid another beating. All those other resources you mentioned CAN influence a kid to choose another path but those are not resources available or accessible to abused children. Abusers have ways of controlling the people they abuse and people are usually afraid to reach out for help. They believe it when Daddy says if you tell anyone I’ll hurt you, and your mother and little sister.
So, yes, at some point you are responsible for choosing your own path, but the reality is a lot of people are not equipped to do that. So what’s the best way to deal with or help those kids?
Kay, I met a teenager who literally had pieces missing from his brain due to drug use by the mom.
Outwardly, you wouldn’t guess that he had any kind of disability, because he had learned to mask it well. Intellectually, however, he would have serious trouble with a phrase like “Go and clean your room and when you’re done you can watch Saturday morning cartoons.” Too much information at once, and he would probably have some kind of meltdown. He would need to have someone TAKE him to the room and get him started and then check up on him every 5 minutes until it was done. And he was 15 years old!
And he wasn’t doing this to be “bad” or because he was just a “slacker”—he literally had a disability (an invisible one) caused by his mom’s alcohol abuse, coupled with malnutrition (near starvation) while a child. Not to mention complete lack of any kind of guidance or education along the way. (He couldn’t even talk until he was 4.) We are talking about an almost “feral” child here, and no amount of parenting “magic” that would work with normal kids will make this kid’s disability go away.
He has been an “adult” now for over 15 years, but last I heard he was in and out of jail for various crimes, like theft. I am not convinced that he has the same ability to make choices that you and I have. And he is just one of hundreds that I met who had almost identical stories.
So, while some people can and do choose something better for themselves than what their parents provided, not everyone has this ability. Some are so damaged and isolated that they don’t even know that other ways of doing things even exist.
In social service work, sometimes the best you can do is “demonstrate by example” an alternate way of living or problem-solving, and hope that it is remembered by the person somewhere down the road when they need to, or are capable of, making a change.
ms lala,i had a degree in child services myself a long time ago. let me tell you something,this is not a job you take lightly. there are some pretty fucked up things going on. like when a 2 week old baby comes to the iwk,with burns from(count them) 72 cigarettes over his little body. some as old as two weeks, see where i’m going here. believe me, when you see that kind of shit, you fucking lose it, like i did, and there goes your nice job, that you were either studying for, or working at. now that’s fucking cruelty to the max. and yes, both parents got dinged big time.5 years, and 7 years, respectfully.
NOW DO YOU PEOPLE SEE WHY LIFE(FUCKING) SUCKS. that still bothers me to this day,btw.
But “Life Sucks” . . . we still must go on and try to find good things to counterbalance the horrible ones.
We must. We have no other choice.
“Life Sucks”—the fact that you “lost it” when you saw what had been done to that baby is a CREDIT to your humanity. I would have lost it too, and I would probably be the one (still) in jail after the incident was over.
Never feel bad for reacting like you did. If MORE people expressed their revulsion at these situations then more of them might be prevented. Every person has their limits . . . and that would definitely be well beyond mine.
It takes courage to move beyond the “professional detachment” is supposedly the highest emotional state a “child protetion worker” can aspire to.
I do hope we haven’t scared Ms Lala away—but it is good for her to know how brave she will have to be if she persue’s this line of work.
Kay, none of my posts have been removed…do you want to know why? Because even the Coast moderators dislike you. Get over you? Get over yourself; you self important trash.
“Just tell the kid to break the cycle” So every abused person out there got a free pass at puberty? You are a moron.
Seriously Kay, you pretend to be what you are clearly not: smart or in anyway close to being wise.
I suspect that when you post under one of your fakes you use a slightly different persona. Sure you can’t totally hide the inflamatory andor stupid that oozes from your very being, but I bet you put some filters on what you are typing while posting as your fake…or you would immediately be noticed and called out.
Remember Ginger?
There is no hiding the fact that you are an idiot, simple, just as there is no hiding that I dislike you and I am going to be a total douche about it.
Please GDIAF Kay!
Mr. Hitler had a word for people like this “untermensch”
Basil…I think it even does a disservice to untermensch by including that freak as one of them.
That kid is going to be a major problem for our various governmental services for the rest of his life. Too bad we can’t just castrate him and put him on a road gang, chained to the other deviants and working to clear litter, dog poo and stray cats from our community!
Wait… someone raped a cat? Were they able to tell it was a rape because it meowed instead of purred?
go back to oozing your machismo… nothing to see here…
At 15 school children know how to dial 911. At 15 school children should know how to read the kids help phone number out of the phone book, off a milk carton or from the poster that hangs in their school. At 15 school children have access to a guidance councilor. At 15 most people are ready to stand up to their abusers one way or another with or without all of these resources.
Ruby, you speak of brain damaged children like they’ve never seen a doctor or been in an emergency room. The professionals there are trained to spot signs of abuse and report it. Yes, some will slip between the cracks and human beings will continue to behave like indecent animals to their progeny but the awareness bestowed on ALL Canadians is a move in the right direction. If only we could simply care for each other this would have been the behavior of a distant ape-like relative rather than modern man. We do what we can.
Kay, I’m not attacking you by any stretch, so don’t go all apey on me…
Based on the post above, you have ABSOLUTELY ZERO idea of what it is like to be abused, and you really should count yourself EXTREMELY LUCKY.
Sorry, that was based on the post above the post my post eneded up under, which, technically, will probably be removed, and therefore this post is moot, except for the fun of thinking about people trying to figure out what the &^$% I’m talking about, and the use of a convoluted run-on sentence. BWAHAHAHAHA!
methinks DerGidget fucked up her login.
Nein, mein Kay derMunchausen. Not atall, not atall. 😛
Afraid I’ll have to report that comment, Kay. You see, the C-bomb isn’t allowed on LTWWB, as I found out when I called you one. I think you were gleeful about it at the time.
that coon would run your ass over as soon as look at you if they had the chance; so kill or be killed i say:)
Kay, I dont use additional accounts unlike yourself, I am who I am and I present myself here as such. I may piss off the occaisonal person here with my…directness, but I hold no grudges other than my great dislike for you; there are even posts that you make that I agree with at times (and I do try and point out those to you when they happen) but you will always get the double barrels from me when you start to spew your trash (which I have actually mentioned to you on no less than 3 speparate occaisons over the past year and half).
I may seem abrasive to you kay but I am positive that others here will note that I can also discuss matters constructively…infact the only time I really pull out the double-barrelled douche guns is when you have droped something smelly.
Like your post above (not your mistaken assumption that I Gidget, the one above that) I agree with you partially…SOME kids do know the things you noted, some actually don’t get the opportunity to understand what we take for granted as fundamental knowledge. You assume that the majority of abused kids are picked upnoticed by the system from emergency room visits etc…I think that is false, frankly I know it is false; the majority of abused kids slip past the system we have in place unfortunately.
Even the ones that do get noticed and saved…even with counciling and help, they still face a horrible path of difficulty.
Many normally developed 15 years olds are willful enough to challenge their parents over their curfew, that’s normal. You are mistaken in applying that same experience to abused kids, many are terrified to challenge their abuser over anything..even over who finished the milk etc., many never get to the point of challenging them even well into adulthood. Some do though yes, when they are adults and out of the family home…you often see it the news that someone finally speaks out about their abuse, 30 years later. Such is the fear and shame (no matter how misplaced or incorrect) that they carry; many shoulder their burden for decades.
In closing: keep being an idiot and I will keep calling you on it in any way I see fit, post something of note and I will debate with you (or defend your position) but after repeated attempts of telling you this…I don’t have high hopes you will refrain from being an idiot.
You killed a raccoon OP…its not like you deliberately tortured it.
I hate cat’s have never had any use for them, but I have never tortured one either !
I’m not petending I’ve got psychic powers…but I believe we’ll be reading about this individual & even more fucked up behavior in the future .
I hope a child doesn’t get harmed.
You should have gifted the racoons carcass to Kay on behalf of abused children everywhere… Man your one f’d up (insert banned expletive here).
Why does every other thread turn into a vicious Kay-rant, Kay-bash cycle? It’s getting boring.
Bury the raccoon. Lock up the kid.
“Why the hell did I have to run over a racoon on the way to see Avatar!”
Because no-one wants their taxes to go up a few bucks in order to install animal fences along high animal traffic areas. Be glad it was just a raccoon, OP…I’ve hit 3 deer so far this fall/winter in my rig…the first two kinda ran into the side of my cab, one got diced and sliced by my front wheel lug nuts…
…but the last one, in NB, I hit dead on at 60 MPH, and to be sure it “flew through the air with the greatest of ease…”
All I saw was hooves and tail, hooves and tail…cost me 20$ for a new head light bulb too
;-(
LOL @ TheBadGuy…purrrrr!!!
Where’s the link to this supposed cat-rape?
I’m skeptical…as Miles said, it doesn’t sound like something a cat would take lying down, lol…
I can’t even run the dustbuster over mine without getting clawed…
Think of it as a metaphor, for pussy.
~~~ Purr~~~
Frosty…linkage here:
http://thechronicleherald.ca/Front/9014864…
I think this kid needs to be carefully watched!
What’s worse, the kid who rapes cats or the guy who wants to watch him Puss? You make me sick.
Hang on to your nickers there Miles…can’t take a joke? as I stated this kid needs to be watched. And to answer your friggen question, ones as bad as the other.
Yes, Kay, my student SHOULD have called the Kid’s Help Phone when was 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . and risked getting the shit beat out of him by his violent alcoholic schizophrenic mother. (Maybe he should have called from in utero, when the physical brain damage was being committed by the mother!)
Yes, he SHOULD have told his doctor, or a police officer, about the “gross” things the mom’s latest boyfriend of the week was making him do . . . but oh, his mom never had the notion to take him to a doctor, and besides she would have been quite enraged if he “made another boyfriend go away because of his lies.”
Oh, maybe he SHOULD have told his teacher, and yes he SHOULD have been getting special education suited for his disability, but he was so often conveniently “kept home from school” until the visible signs of abuse went away, so teachers didn’t really see it . . . and he was just conveniently moved around from school to school, back and forth between cities anyway, so it wasn’t like anyone really got a chance to notice that his behavior was “a little out of the ordinary.”
By the time he was in a Provincial institution he had 15 YEARS of neglect, abuse, malnutrition compounded by minimal education, minimal life skills and zero social connections to the wider world. He had NOT ONE relative he could call up, NOT ONE friend or even acquaintance or neighbor he could NAME, NOT ONE person in the entire world who would mourn—or even notice—if he died.
Yes, we all know that this is a terrible state of affairs, and we all know that this SHOULD have been spotted and remedied by responsible adults long before that point, but clearly it wasn’t in this case.
“The system” is a miserable, slow, imperfect, impersonal machine, and its convolutions can drive an adult around the bend. Imagine yourself a child lost in its arcane workings, and thank whatever deity you believe in that you or your children have never ended up as its “wards.”
People do have good intentions, but short of keeping kids in 24-hour state custody (not desirable), you simply cannot control what happens to children when parents are determined to be abusive—and many of the parents do manipulate the system because they WANT the child back soley for the purposes of abuse. And this story is pretty typical for many of the youth who end up in govenment care—it’s not a bizarre exception, I am very sad to say.
These things are so far out of the realm of ordinary experience that most people find it hard to believe that they go on every day. It’s easy for us to say that normal kids should know how to make any necessary improvements in their life, but some of them this is like asking them to build a working rocket ship to Mars—a truly impossible task.
I challenge you (and anyone else who may be skeptical) to work for a SINGLE DAY at the offices of community services and report back to us here on the skills and decision-making abilty of the various “clients” you will meet there.
Rubyjane .I’ve seen it plenty working with outreach programs in the inner city of Winnipeg many years back .I worked week ends with “Main Street Project” . In the course of taking drunks to the detox in -40 weather to prevent them from dying in the alleys – we have picked up kids ( young as about 6) in winter with no shoes , improperly dressed , moms/dads likely in the bar at 1 am and it goes on. We where required to ( and morally as well fuck legally) take custody of and relinquish custody of them to child protective services of Winnipeg . As much as it tries to help and the people that try to help – it’s still fucked . I seen the same little kids out at night weeks later . And when we toured the hooker stroll handing out condoms and needle exchange for them , thats another story . Easy to report the 12 year old child pimped out by mom around the corner .But that same kid is back again weeks later .I don’t have direct knowledge or dealings with CPS , but I can imagine by what I seen on the streets .So I can relate on that level with you.
As for the Kay bullshit I wrote – its just that – just jabbing at a retard .
I do know for a fact there is limited resources for kids in abusive and neglected situations. Pretty easy to see because of all we see NOT being done .And people think its “just that easy ” for a kid to pick up the phone and call someone . I know for a fact it isn’t “that easy ” when your fearing a shitkicking and pimpin by your asshole mom/dad and whatever the situation may be .
I was never abused . I never abused my daughters . They and I turned out pretty much good .But i think the ones that haven’t been abused or otherwise have no clue what the fuck its like .Half of all the places for the kids in CPS abuse them too . I can speak for fact in the case of what I did in winnipeg and what I saw . These kids we turned in during the course of our other duties – just turned right back up on the same damn street weeks later . And I’ve talked to a few ( our outreach dealt alot also with “hookers” , stroll workers and assorted drug addicts on the streets ) only to find theres no way they want a ride back to the group home because they don’t get feed or are being beat by the houseparents or other kids . It’s fucked – it opened my eyes – but its fucked either way !!!
So with that said . What a fuckin horror our system is . And I can only speak for the city of Winnipeg . But I can imagine its the same all over . It needs to be torn right apart and totally over funded and rebuilt .
PS – With this quantification – I reiterate Kay is still a retard by her post about kids . Asshat . She knows nothing and rubyjane – Someone like that wouldn’t understand your post . Oh she can spell right most times – thats about all she has. She can spell and convey her retard comments and lack of knowledge with perfect english . Douche.
Here’s the link to the city’s safety report:
http://www.halifax.ca/council/mayor/docume…
Wow, Weedhog, what an amazing story! I do find it fascinating to hear about the kinds of work people have done before their present careers.
The only reason I felt compelled to go into so much detail (and go so far off topic, I admit—apologies to anyone bored by my ramblings) is because one of the earlier posters, Ms Lala, mentioned that she is specifically planning to go into a career dealing with young offenders.
Can’t hurt to have some stories from people who’ve done it, and it also can’t hurt for her to see the kinds of attitudes she will encounter from people who don’t understand what it’s really like.
Have a great day!
Maybe we should start a thread where people throw their guesses in as to who logs on as more than one person…
I am not Der, nor am I anyone else but an occasionally anonymous bitcher…
I think kay has at least 2 other logins… one of which is Balls, and desi – the one who agrees with her, not the one who says he’s not her husband…
And to get back on topic, weedhog and RubyJane – kudos to both of you for lasting any amount of time in that line of work.
I have family who foster children, and some of the sotries I have heard secondhand are absolutely horrifying. Thank God for people like you (and my family) who at least ATTEMPT to make the world a safer place for children, if only for a short time.
Really, you think I’m Kay? Is anyone else that dumb?
I suspected Kay might have been the Halifax-hating “Bluenoser” who was posting here during the mini-vacation we had last week.
(The one who thought we were all living in trailer parks.)
Gidget, are you making that assumption because I have a link to her? Please explain to me why you’re stupid.
Ok… Kay, I honestly can’t even address the comments you’re making because they are clearly coming from someone with absolutely NO IDEA what she is talking about.
Life Sucks and RubyJane, you guys definitely did not scare me off. I know how hard a career in this field is, and have been volunteering with people in child protective care for a few years now. Although, I know volunteer work isn’t the same, but I do feel like this is the career for me. I am working hard on overcoming my natural reaction to want to strike out at a person committing such terrible thigns against a child, and I’m really hoping to be one of those people who can actually work at that career without burning out.
Thanks for all your suggestions and guidelines 🙂
Hi Ms Lala,
I think that is fantastic! The kids need more people like you. I can’t do the job, but I am sure glad to know that people like you are “out there” doing good work!
: )
—RubyJane
Actually, Balls, it’s just because kay has a rather large set.
That and the fact that you both jump to venomous statements immediately.
And considering how long she’s been here, and you’re the only one linked to her… you’re either a moron, related, or the same person.
And yes, I am in a pissy $&#@ing mood today.
I jump to venomous statements to those who do the same to her. Like yourself.
By one click I can find out where she has your panties in a knot. Don’t think that you are somehow better then her, you’re not. You’re right I have been here a long time. You are just as much a bitch as her, go fuck yourself, and have a shitty day!
Rubyjane
Thanks !
You have a nice day also !!! To be honest – I am actually glad I do what I do now , That job wore on my mind alot !!!
Balls! Wow. Thanks… I think.
Funny how Kay shows up right after Gidget just gushing and blushing haha !Take a bow Kay !!! Your alterego loves yourself!!
Weed, I know you have posted as kaavvy. Your grammar gives you away.
Good quess – but your wrong .
Oh sorry it’s “kayyy” not kaavvy No one else has the same problem as you, buy including dash’s everywhere and adding spaces before a period.
Funny, how I asked if anyone else was that dumb and theweedhog shows up.
Yep, let’s all hijack what had turned out to be a very interesting thread about work that tries to make the world a better place byt having someone come in and make uninformed statements of complete idiocy. Then have same person accuse people of having multiple logons, and when anyone attempts to defend themselves, ramp it up.
Balls, my apologies for taking your name in vain, but you’ve proven EXACTLY my point.
RJ, LL, and LS, and WH, my apologies for being part of the veering that went on here. Unfortunately I allowed my mood to get in the way. I’d like to hear more about your previous experiences in this area.
As would I. It was a very interesting thread for a while there. I’m curious what those with experience in the area think should be done to improve the situation and the accessibility of aid resources to those who are abused
Sometimes, parents can teach their children to do good in life, like mine have, but everyone has a mind of their own. My parents taught me how to be a good person and not do bad things, but reading Go Ask Alice changed that ;D. I think it’s supposed to deter people from doing bad but…didn’t work for me. Also, I had bad choices in friends. And Kay, it wasn’t because I got my period. This was 5 years after that…fuck I hate you.
What point was that Gidget?
gidget, RJ, LL, and LS, and WH… hop in your electric douche-mobile and fuck off…
It’s actually quite a boring thread and needed to be hijacked.
kids are idiots and, when they don’t get proper parenting, end up mental in some way or making more idiot kids.
Given the vitriol of Balls’ response, I’m inclined to believe that Gidget was correct in assuming it was kay. Most anyone else would have simply said, “Nope, mistaken identity” or something to that effect. Calling Gidget dumb and stupid as an opener to a simple posit is over the top.
zZz – I was talking about the place the thread started to go to, not where it originally started…
Three – thank you.
BTW, the cat raper has two previous sex offense charges against him if you read the entire article.
I don’t think his mom called the cops because she values the cat more than her kid (though I would be abhorred at that sort of abuse). It’s my guess that she knows it is the only way she can be assured of getting her kid the psychological help he needs before his actions and age result in person rape and jail.
Don’t assume the mom is an abuser; we don’t have the facts.
Apology unaccepted, bitch.
It’s insulting to be called kay.
I don’t need two handles to be vitriol I can do it all in one.
Hope you’re having a shitty day and an even shittier evening Gidget.
Well, I enjoy the digressions, riffing, and snarkiness as much as the next person, and I do come on here for a much-needed laugh as often as I can.
That said, Miles asked about how “The System” we are discussing should be improved.
Ah, if I only had answers. If only. If I had any real answers at all, I never would have left that career.
A few things I can think of off the top of my head:
1) I would like to see MUCH more information about EXACTLY what resources, funding, referrals, etc., are available to someone who is in need of support.
Something like: “If you are this age and you have this issue, you are eligible for this, this, and this but not that.”
Publicize exact dollar amounts, whenever possible. Print it in the most clear, basic language understandable, and have it widely circulated so that EVERYBODY knows exactly what is what. Make it part of “general knowledge” — like the Kid’s Help Phone!
My rationale is this: some people who really do want to learn how to change their lives, have no idea how to “navigate” the big scary system. Trust me, it is hard enough if you are a reasonably savvy person used to dealing with bureaucracies. (Just look at the Student Loan “system!”) Not so easy if you are a minimally-literate 14-year-old who has been kicked out of the house in the middle of the winter. Make everything that is available widely known, (along with what is not available, when that makes sense.)
Whether or not certain services “SHOULD” be provided is a separate matter, and should be debated in public, as always. In the meantime, everyone should at least have the opportunity to KNOW what is available, so they can ask for it by name, or tell someone about it, should the need arise.
In a public service, there should be nothing to hide, and no reason to be made to feel intimidated (or ashamed) for trying to access services that eligible citizens are rightly entitled to. (With the obvious caveat that people’s privacy is always respected. I’m not suggesting we “out” the people who use community services.)
I believe it would also keep some of the “fantasies” about social services in check—there would be fewer people of all backgrounds assuming that social services “can do everything for you” or that welfare (for example) must be “easy street.”
2) Everything should move much, much faster. A year is an enourmous span of time in the life of a child. The right support or intervention at age 3 CAN sometimes help undo damage caused by early abuse or neglect, but if the interevention doesn’t happen until age 4 or 5, it can be too late for some things (empathy, trust, and some aspects of language can be particularly fragile, and difficult to “build from scratch” after key points of development.)
Also, some parents manipulate the system to their advantage, for example staying away from drugs JUST the exact number of days required to pretend they are “clean”, in order to get their kids returned to the abusive situation. This goes on and on, and causes some kids to never get the help they need. People who are bullshitting the caseworkers need to be called on it.
People should also be assisted, encouraged, motivated and “incentivized” (if that is a word) to eventually transition OUT of the system within a reasonable time. Currently, there is a culture of dependency, where once you become a “client” you are always a client.
3) SCHOOLS: From the earliest grades, schools should focus on skill and achievement—in all areas. This means real life skills (cooking, driving) as well as real career skills (pre-trade, pre-business, and yes pre-“academic”). By “for real” I mean not just mentioned in passing once on the way to something “more important.” The skill stuff should be THE important stuff!
Too often, the very things that would help a person—ANY PERSON— actually survive in the world are treated as “filler” or just a joke. Since even the best parents can’t teach their kids everything, schools should fill the gap and MAKE SURE that no one leaves grade 12 without knowing CONFIDENTLY how to: write well, speak to a group, drive in the snow, apply for a job, understand a prescription label, change a tire, basic CERTIFIED first aid, manage money . . . . and hundreds of other things.
And they should do it “for real” —emphasizing how IMPORTANT these skills are—and a diploma would be a sign that you know—REALLY KNOW—how to do certain things.
Too often these skill things are presented as “playtime” or a break from the “real” (academic) classes.
I envision some kind of small-group “apprenticeship” style set-up. Make it challenging but do-able enough so the students would enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes from MASTERY of skills, (“I did it myself!”) not just empty praise for showing up and giving a half-assed “try.”
I know the issue of “streaming” teenagers is a sensitive one, but if a student is showing aptitude in one area over another, I see no harm in channelling their energy in that direction while they are young and enthusiastic enough to learn and benefit from it—let’s just use a trade like Welding for example. The attitude these days seems to be that it is better to DEPRIVE a student of something they really want to learn, so that they can “keep their options open.” We misuse the most important “learning years” of people’s lives because of fears of “streaming” them into the wrong area.
Just because someone takes a Welding class at 16 doesn’t mean they HAVE to work as a welder for the rest of their life, but they will sure know a lot more about that skill than I do, they would know whether they liked it OR NOT (just as important) and could start earning good money at a respectable job early on, giving them the freedom to do anything else, including other kinds of education, whenever and wherever they choose.
So, Miles, I know I am all over the map here. If I had more time, I could refine this more, but I thought I would throw it out there to see what people thought.
Any ideas or am I way off-base?
Thanks for the thoughts RJ. I always appreciate your perspective.
I have only tangential experience in these matters as I have several friends who work with addictions, psych patients and teen crisis centers, so the subject comes up over beer a lot. My thoughts are only informed from them, but I think your comments about incorporating life skills in the classroom is very important.
The only thing I would add is that one of the barriers to accessing help can be the absence of a support structure for the abused person…especially if the abuse if coming from family. If a child has no family or friends and a distrust of authority, they are unlikely to feel comfortable or trusting of the support being offered. I think the education/publicity tactics you mentioned could alleviate some of that. In addition, I think if there were some way to guarantee that an abused person would receive support (housing, counselling), and not be tossed back into the abusive environment, once they initiated the help process that might be incentive enough to reach out for help.
I’m really interested in the subject because so many of our social ills (unemployment, crime, addiction, abuse) seem to start with kids who grow up neglected or abused. Seems a good place to focus our efforts and our money.
(Ruby/miles, sorry) Gidget because two people cuss, they must be one in the same. That’s quite the generalization you’re claming, isn’t that something you get after kay for? Was that your EXACT point? Like I said you’re just as much a bitch as her. Go fuck yourself.
I don’t mean to bore anyone on here . . . sorry to anyone who thinks I’ve taken up too much air time.
I am at present thinking about applying for a job in something related to this kind of work after so many years away (in a different capacity!) , so the topic is very much on my mind these days.
Hearing other people’s comments and responses on this part of the thread has been immensely helpful in my thinking it over.
You know I can’t go into too much detail, but suffice it to say THANK YOU to those who took the time to engage in an actual conversation.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled bitchiness!
I’ve certainly been bored.
no way in hell are you going to get me to listen to kids problems and come up with productive solutions….
I have enough of my own to ignore…
(problems, not kids)
Gidget what was that your EXACT point?
ZZZ and balls are products of a fucked system . Nothing better to do but continually rag on about english prose and not one intelligent post about something relative to the conversation. If you want to look intelligent – post something about the subject . Because just posting about fucked english shows you know nothing of whats actually being conversed about . No sweat off my back – it just shows how really uninformed you really are . Carry on !!
Hey and ZZZ you look real intelligent with you dumbass post about kids and bad parenting . Your type of people is what makes the problem , not solve it . Your stupider then ii thought . I had some credit for ya – but alas – your an idiot by your own writing – correct english or not . Jump on your fucktard train and head to stick your head up your assville . What a loser .
Can I get a mug or something if my bitch tops 100 comments? Anyhoo, I see shaken babies from time to time and while I know it’s not related to the rehabilitation of youth that’s been greatly discussed, many of those parents should not be having children. Sadly, the adoption process these days is so long and convoluted that it can take years to get a child out of the hands of an abusive crack addict. Even then, they could clean up and still get back custody. That’s without getting into what’s been happening on Reserves out West. There are other times when you want to be angry but the mom seems normal and just had bad luck regarding her partner. I have a lawyer friend in Ontario, who was representing a family doctor whose seemingly normal grad student husband beat the crap out of their newborn every time she left the room. It took a little while for the wife to catch on, but even so, most of the charges had to be dropped as the guy’s Dad had a lot of money/clout. She had to be content with just getting custody, the child has permanent brain damage.
I know so many amazing people heading all over the world just to get a baby because the adoption process here is so unappealing. On the flip side, I recently met a marvelous older man who’d adopted 7 children after having a few of his own. The last, a former crack baby was just getting his license, as the man was losing his. The boy may not have been 100% normal, but was apparently dependable and polite from having grown up in such a loving home.
The crime report I mentioned talks about tough love for certain teens in HRM, whatever that means. They also mention revamping the Young offenders act, but I don’t think HRM can do much about that. Surprising (or perhaps not) how high a concern violence was in Halifax compared to Moncton and St. John.
I think the key is in identifying at risk families as early as possible and keeping a very close watch/giving as much assistance possible. It may cost more now but how much does incarceration/crime/violence cost later on? These cycles need to be broken some how.
Oh never mind, I just saw the adoption post ‘lead by example’ from today. (97)
Well, I’m not a grammar Nazi, but the spacing and dashes are very distinct. The probability of having different posters with this same habit is slim. Let alone that they have all show up after you. I’ve been around for awhile, if you stick around you’ll notice the noobs as well. But since I have no proof and you won’t man up, I’ll give it a rest.
Well doubtful, I’ll ask you a question so you can be 100. (I was already #69) Should I be more vitriol to distinguish myself from kay, or less? I already have to be proper at work; more of the same makes life pretty dull doesn’t it?
Honestly Balls I like to skip the whole Kay stuff and as much as both sides seem to relish the confrontations I can’t believe it hasn’t gotten old. I don’t know how long it’s been going on but it must be measured in years. I think if many of these bitches didn’t degenerate into the regular Kay/Kay bashing, maybe there’d be more constructive discussions and us noobs wouldn’t avoid the place. On the other hand the regulars and their Kay bashing banter may be what keeps the site alive. Hard to say. This is my own but 100th comment (although it stopped counting at 96) on my first but probably not last bitch, so here’s hoping for a mug:)
haha balls check your english in this post !
Oh sorry it’s “kayyy” not kaavvy No one else has the same problem as you, buy including dash’s everywhere and adding spaces before a period.
buy? did you mean by? dummy learn to write kay – seems you have the same problem .