Playing the necessary game, I’ll begin with stating that I am a young person who identifies as male, and recently, I was required to buy PlanB for my partner of almost-a-year. I don’t want to give credence to the stereotypical snickers from the pharmacist, which in my state, I might have projected. Rather, I want to bitch about the stale patriarchal reality that is woman’s products. Mediating the officialized space between myself and the white-coated pharmacists, a space between error and exoneration, which is ultimately bridged by a payment of $50, I asked for the infamous two pills. After the transaction, I shook the box, understanding from the delayed rattle that the two little pills sit somewhere within a box much too large for the sole purpose of housing the pills; or, of providing enough space for what we might consider to be the bible – pun intended – that is the intake instructions. No, in fact, one gets the (Roland) Barthesian idea that if we see PlanB for how it really is, the box and the little pills almost give the impression of conception itself: a womb pregnant with its minuscule seed, conspicuous in size like a rounded belly. Insemination…no, SEX, in all of its deviations, what is most private, must be made obvious in a culture that maintains anachronistic and tired beliefs regarding the equivocal relationship between “life” and promiscuity. “Men should be fertile and virile – woman should control their hormones and fertility”. Our sexual and gender theory revolution stops somewhere along aisle 3, where pregnancy tests that are $60 can be found like the diamond in the multicoloured rough that is the cosmetics and hair domain. Pregnancy-shaming is a disgrace that needs to be deconstructed. In light of recent news, what I’m really trying to say is: fuck Texas. —Concerned condom-less hypocrite.
This article appears in Oct 2-8, 2014.
Oh Moses, smell the roses. There ought to be a law that King’s J-School creative writing assignments be destroyed after being graded.
Texas hates you too, you verbose fucking spermaphrodite!
ummm yaaaa.
Q. How do you keep a man from getting you pregnant?
A. Each of you stand on a bucket while you fuckin… Den as soon as he’s about to cum, kick the bucket out from under him.
So, are you indeed a boy?
Is this about being transexual?
Or is it transsexual?
Jesus this was poorly written.
what on EARTH is this about? I thought I had a stroke or something.
Welcome to The Coast.
Mo’ Fool – a tragic case of one donkey punch too many
BARTHES & SEMIOTICS
“No, in fact one gets the (Roland) Barthesian idea that if we see Plan B for how it really is, etc. etc.” Concerned condomless hypocrite
The question, of course, is within the conceptual framework of semiotics, can anyone – including Barthes – ever see anything for how it really is. Presupposed is the nature of semiotics itself. What is it?
Semiotics is the view that all reality is reducible to signs but the question then arises, “What is a sign?” Originating with the 19th. century American philosopher Charles Sanders Pierce, semiotics maintains that a sign can be anything that stands for something else which, as the object of the sign in which it stands in relation, then generates another sign called its “interpretant.” It is the interpretant that creates meaning for the sign, that which provides human experience with value. In other words, in the semiotic framework, meaning is not reduced to a direct and unmediated relation between sign and object but rather is the product of a triadic relation between sign, object and the interpretant.
However, two difficulties arise in respect to the semiotic framework: (a) What is the ontological status of the “interpretant?” Is it a person and, if so, does not the semiotic framework itseld reduce to the platitudinous observation that people create their own meanings? and (b) If this is the case, then is the semiotic framework itself just another sign to which any meaning at all can be ascribed leading, of course, to complete relativism and incoherence?
How would Barthes navigate the shoals of platitude and incoherence? Put differenltly, on what grounds would Barthes claim that he saw reality as it really is? Write back soon.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
If your partner had’ve gotten a prescription for plan b, the price would’ve gone down by half, FYI.
True story. OTC price is like $40 and prescription price is like $20, and if you have health insurance, it’s usually covered with prescription.
OP. What were you smoking/sniffing when you wrote this?
Wait, they let you buy it? I was always told it was not sold to males. Fake bitch?
We have yet to determine the actual sex of the OB.
And is it really not sold to men? Really? Why?AAnyone?
I get the feeling that, in addition to listening to far too much Leonard Cohen, the OB is still trying to determine its sex.
What works at your weekly poetry slam, doesn’t always translate well to LTWWB.
plan b @ Lawtons = 29.99 🙂 fyi for you to avoid a future baby-mama
Or condoms cost 5.99 and won’t make your girlfiend puke for 2 days.
Pettykitty: I’m pretty sure plan b needs to be used the morning after & most people can’t get in to see their doctor in time for the prescription….
OP should stop being so flip about the situation -he got jokes like some toolbar philosopher. He’s the only one treating pregnancy as the problem; hense why his ass is on fire to terminate it. Big deal you gotta shell out a couple bucks for 2 damn pills. Imagine if you had to buy birth control every single month, tampons, pads, midol, nair. You gotta do one thing – put a rubber on your chubber, an you can’t even do that!
Plan b works within 72 hours. You can visit a walk in clinic and get the prescription.
Alternatively, you can take an OD of some birth control pills. I’d advise asking your pharmacist, though and having some gravol on hand.
Also: sometimes condoms DO break.
http://www.mindskin.com/p/297/donkey.jpg
Ivan dis bitch doesn’t concern you. Luckily, you can’t get your hand pregnant.
Although execrably written, this bitch involves an ability to read at slightly higher than a Grade 2 level, but nobody’s telling you to butt out. Knock off the apartheid shit you moorish motormouth.
Oooh big words … too bad you don’t know how to put them in proper context.
My moorish (defined: Spanish Architecture) motormouth.
Ivan, when did you get your lobotomy?
RSVP ginge-minge.
For proper contex re: moorish, try googling the “Geneology of Sicilians” monologue from “True Romance” , you nubian numbnuts.
De pinka de ginja; de sharpa de tang.
Next time consult your thesaurus before stealing lines from movies, during battles of wit. Put your pointy pink crayon back in da box.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlVDRHlBBr…
If this is a battle of wits then you obviously qualify for Conscientious Objector status. This is the point where you make “like a feminist do” and demand the Mod level the playing field and make this site a safe place for wimmin by banning me. Then you can thump your sagging dugs and bray about your “easy win” to the rest of the gals down at the hair salon.
Dem big words again… sagging “dugs” (udders) and “bray” (donkey’s cry). You must have a fascination with donkeys or did you take my advice and finally acquaint yourself with a thesaurus?
You still ain’t the sharpest pink crayon in da box. Maybe I should say burnt sienna. What odds, anyway here are a few more vocabulary-building words for you to look up:
Grandiloquent
Sesquipedalian
Spermologos
I look forward to a full report.
Basically… no-fool is impressed by your in-depth and stylized approach to expressing you wealth of general knowledge…
It’s all a question of perspective Captain. We, as human beings view the world and it’s interactions in different ways, based upon experience, education, economic background, and yes, even gender.
For instance individuals will often view the same image in a different manner and see what their brains have been hard-wired to perceive. Here’s a basic test. Look at the following simple images
Do you see:
A vase,
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v408/…
or, two faces?
An old Russian crone,
http://s2.hubimg.com/u/2012693_f260.jpg
or, a coquettish fin de siecle courtesan in a saucy hat?
Beloved music producer Suge Knight smoking a White Owl,
http://cdn.hiphopdx.com//images/news/1-sug…
or, beloved LTWWB contributor No Fool taking a shit.
Perspective. It’s what’s for dinner.
A pleasure as always.
Moor is a racial slur! We did Othello in grade 12 at good old dirty high. I am not what I am and all that jazz.
Hell, I’m still wondering why the Mod deleted my picture of a gangsta’d up Homer the Blob from Treehouse of Horror XVII, but left up “Donkey Punch” (see above)
*sigh* I’ll just never understand the Political Correctness >: (
These days, Othello would probably be banned for being islamophobic, for that line where he describes killing a Turk – “I took him by the throat, the circumsized dog, and smote him, thus” Either that or some Justin Trudeau-type drama teacher would adapt the play by setting it in the Gaza Strip and changing all the Turkish references to Israel.