I was so happy to have a coffee shop and bakery in my neighborhood and I am still glad that I can go read the paper and get a coffee without having to cross the bridge or go to a big chain, but I hate you all for making it impossible for me to step foot in there on Sundays any more.
You know who you are. The three dozen spandex wearing joggers who crowd around the door just inside the place stretching before you go for your run. Then you come back and are unbelievably rude to the incredibly patient staff. You sit down and scream and holler at each other. When you get up you leave half the cafe looking like it is the morning after a keg party.
Worst of all is that almost all of you get your coffee in paper cups even when offered ceramic mugs. You sit there talking about how you wish there were hook up stations so you could buy a hybrid or how you wish the grocery store had more affordable organic produce and yet you drink your giant 20 ounce warm milk drink in a wax lined paper cup instead of a reusable ceramic mug! If you were only there for five minutes (and oh how merciful that would be to the rest of the customers!) and needed to take it to go that would make sense, but you set up camp for two hours down the whole thing only to toss it in the trash on your way out. The guy who orders a two ounce espresso in a to go cup is the most absurd example of this.
I am amazed that none of the staff have thrown a hot cup of coffee in your faces or that none of the other customers have thrown a chair at you. It’s great that you want to catch up with friends and drink some coffee (I do too!) but please show other customers and the people who work there a little bit of basic respect!
I am just glad that you can only be bothered to go jogging once a week. —Caffeine Free Sundays For Me
This article appears in May 17-23, 2012.
The spandex is blocking oxygen to the brain …. nothing but camel-toe is able to breathe in them suckers!
OP. A time and place would be nice. This would be very entertaining to watch.
Be warned. This is what becomes of hipsters after age 40.
the problem with joggers is that they believe they are doing something very important. They push past disabled people and babies. They take over the whole sidewalk. And for what? Most of them don’t appear to be achieving the results they want (unless those results include major knee damage) They erroneously believe themselves to be athletes and treat the entire city like it’s the 400 m at the olympic games. The sidewalk belongs to THEM and WE’RE the assholes for daring to use their sidewalk.
As they run by, give them an encouraging pat on the back. It’s the perfect opportunity to plant a giant “I’m a douchebag, kick me!” sign square between their shoulders.
Sounds like a place for a Summit. Our noise would pound their noise into the ground.
I especially like the batman-esque utility belts that a lot of them wear. You know the ones….a holster for like 6 individual water bottles, each one holding about 4 oz of water…I can’t help but snicker whenever I see these.
OP is there some reason you can’t go at a different time?
Haha that would be swell TTFN! We should go really early, buy all of the scones and take up all of the chairs.
Ohhh, and we should all wear jogging outfits and just as they runners start filing in, just start randomly stretching, right there in the middle of the cafe. After a few minutes, I’ll ask the group: “Ok! Are we all ready?” Everyone will reply in unison: “READY!” I’ll say: “Alright. Here we go!”
and then everybody just sit down and start drinking your coffees and chatter. lol
um….
Or we could just do what Mel said.
if it’s the place I think it is…
it’s just a block or so away from our summit spot.
so, start something then, stop fucking whining on here about it. oif more people got some fucking spine, a lot of shit, would never happen.gyms, buses, and places and people, do fucking something to help rid yourself of the problems, why wait for someone else to get pissed off to do anything. and i hope you lead in the jump, you whiny little pussy.
i dunno zed, i wouldn’t consider that place a bakery. i’m thinking somewhere more *local*
i’ll bring the sock puppets so we can mock them in sock puppet voices bahahahaha
I don’t think it’s the Happy Mammal.
Wp
yeah wheelie it’s too small for all that stretching
Might be the place on the Darkside, named after a pallid Dennis Leary romcom
avast, I know when I was in the military, if any of us brought a water bottle on a three mile run, they’d have been called a pussy. Unless they’re doing a marathon, water is not needed during a short run or a walk.
Nothing would make me happier than driving a snowplow through PPP, plowing the ignorant jogging groups to the side of the trail where they won’t intimidate walkers. I was there once with my dogs (one on a leash), when oncoming joggers decided because there wasn’t enough room to go around, they would envelope me and my dogs. It was funny when dukie freaked out and tripped one of them, and another ran into the tripped one. I just said, “serves you right, ya douche”, then laughed.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XnBIVwhtK_8/TkGp…
bite me, crayon. I don’t wear spandex outdoors and neither do my hippy friends. Assholes come in all ages.
joggers are shitstains who are too fucking stupid to figure out how to ride a bike, so they’re as fucking annoying as cyclists minus the pedals.
Just because some obnoxious people wearing spandex were being an annoyance at a coffee shop doesn’t mean all joggers are jackasses. They should be commended for trying to maintain good health. I don’t what kind of people you have running around in Halifax but down here in the beautiful Annapolis Valley, joggers are courteous.
i suppose it’s because they run in packs, like wild ponies. driving your way tomorrow critter guy, wave if you see me^^
I travel to Dartmouth each day PG. I’ll wave to all the cars I pass, just to make sure.
good on ya…and speaking of waving, shout out to the guy/gal in the raccoon suit on young st. it’s a tough gig walking around in a furry suit
Haha PG! I was browsing through some bitches before falling asleep last night and read your comment about the raccoon suit, so there was a man in a raccoon suit in one of my dreams :D.
At least it wasn’t an anatomically accurate tanuki suit. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_racc…)
I used to do that all the time…
right when someone is falling asleep, say some random but weird thing 3 times in a row…
then ask them what they dreamed about in the morning.
works pretty consistently.
yellow snow, yellow snow, yellow snow
hmmmm….now where did that come from? I suddenly have this intense craving for some lemon sorbet. Huh! Weird.
I was also in a pick-up truck at the time.. I don’t remember much else. Likely for the best, there probably weren’t any seat belts.
Damn, Woman! You is stone cold evil. And I love it >: )
Sometimes when we’re out and about, we have a game called “Bottles”. The first person to spot a jogger gets a number of points based on the number of bottles strapped to their bodies. Groups make it interesting because sometimes in your haste you ‘spot’ the one with only a two-barreller.
It’s like this “Yellow Jacket”, then “4 bottles”…
Hey, you eating the crayons. Yeah you, I am a runner and I move for pedestrians for the simple face that I am moving faster than them and they deserve the right of way. It’s like when drivers rag on bikers, don’t lump them all together. Just because you don’t run or exercise, it’s not my problem.
Oh and Victor Mildew, you are an idiot, most people who run ride bikes. You people need to stare into the sun for a few hours more and then write a bitch about the unhealthy people polluting “your” air with smoke. Leave the people who don’t want to live a healthy lifestyle alone and live your shitty lives.