You don’t have to act like you’re in a porno when you’re in bed. Real life is not a porn. Everything in porn is fake. In my experience real sex is always better than beating off to porn, until the girl I’m sleeping with starts trying to “act” like the girls she sees in porn.
You screw up your face in a fake pout and stare unblinkingly at me in something you must think is an intense sexy stare, it’s really just creepy and awkward, in some awful cases it makes me think of Ben Stiller.
Then there’s the voice you do when talking dirty, it’s not your natural voice, it’s some fake ultra-girlish voice that makes you sound like a child, again, creepy. The voice is annoying as fuck already without you applying it to your moans as well, you end up sounding like a wounded animal, not a woman having sex.
That said, to all the ladies who do this, you are already sexy, you don’t have to act like that in bed. Your faces are already beautiful without mushing them into “sexy” pouts and stares. Your voice is already sexy without altering it so that it sounds high pitched and unnatural. Just be yourselves. —ADR
This article appears in Jun 17-23, 2010.
People will complain about anything these days.
jesus o.p., maybe she is fantasizing about moi. golly gee, maybe she knows the suckster, and has an orgasm just thinking about what it would be like, to be humped all day by moi. or just maybe, the fucking problem is you, maybe you are too dull and predictable in the sack. maybe she is sick of the same i cun, then maybe you cum shit. then the voice thing, maybe it is her real inner self, saying get the fuck out, you useless piece of shit. maybe i might be wrong, but trust me, those are most reasons, why people find other people to fuck. think on that for awhile.
It’s a fair bitch, O.P.
Guys and girls get too freaked out about sex and don’t know how to act. The guy thinks he has to change positions every 30 seconds and the girl acts like you said.
One of the great things about sex is making the connection between two people who love and care for each other. “Acting” in bed is annoying, I agree.
Sometimes a good SportFuck is in order though, with some meaningless hunk of meat. Read the reply above for an example of that.
Good luck finding someone who can be themselves in bed. It’s a beautiful thing.
And in a similar vein, why don’t drunken doxies flash bookstore dudes when they’re walking by? C’mon ladies let’s work together to revitalize the Barrington corridor.
i might drop by sometime in the next week comrade ivan. you can send place name to my email addy.
Great, I get to see Lifey’s zoomers.
NOT WHAT I MEANT, PEOPLE!.
Life Sucks Anthem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM…
wrong kim, i don’t even like that rap shit, although the song idea was cool. it isn’t the suckster.
Maybe you’re so bad at it they have to fake it.
Personally, I have little to no control over what face or noise I’m making if it’s good.
I agree 100% with wheeliep. You have to be really secure in your relationship, and when you find it – magic.
Thanks for my morning howl – the thought of these girls putting on the porn face made me laugh so hard, my tits got caught in the paper shredder.
Ha ha, TTFN – reminds me of one of my dad’s gems that he just spouts off once in a while:
“Jesus Christ, I haven’t had this much fun since Grandma got her tits stuck in the wringer”…
Another oldie but goodie from the same vein… “man, I haven’t had this much fun since the pigs ate my little brother!”
I fully intend to leave this earth as I came into it. Fat,loud, bald and totally obsessed with women’s breastesses.
Nothing wrong with a freak in the sheets. I enjoy a classy girl when we’re out but once we’re not…….
But if it is an act, thats essentially faking it dude, step your game up…
Girls all fake it. Better to be gay.
Sebastion I’m truely a lesbian at heart.
But I’m trapped in a male anatomy
So it’s still all good.
@ LS’s comment ” wrong kim, i don’t even like that Crap shit, although”….there ,all fixed!!
I can’t tell whether OP is actually pissed… or just trying to brag….
douche.
quit complaining and shut yer yap
Better to be gay? I doubt having a shit-smelling dick is better.