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I am going to start carrying a bottle of Febreeze with me and spray it on the next fucking person who smells like patchouli.
That shit is nasty. It’s nauseating and the smell lingers forever. —I can’t breath when you’re around
This article appears in Sep 23-29, 2010.
37 Comments
haha a patchouli bitch, they’re almost as common as the bus/smoking/dogshit bitches. i don’t think the febreeze would help and my goodness the combo of the two…gack
Oh ya, covering up one stench with another is doubly disgusting. I would recommend a nose plug instead.
hippy chicks/granola maids/quinoa queens are required to douse themselves in patchouli oil on a daily basis to keep there union cards 🙂
Patchouli doesn’t so much mask, as accentuate the delicate pot pouri of hemp, sticky armpit hair, Hep-C and A.I.D.S. (NO – that stands for Avatar Induced Depressive State)
Finally, a BITCH that made me laugh. I never knew the word for that smell…..but those granolas….holy fuck, yes they stink.
The smell of febreeze is fucking nasty.
Febreeze is great for spraying swarmers.
the Moroccan scented one is pretty nice…
Is that because it smells like patchouli?
what the fuck is patchouli?
I mean, I know you can’t really describe smells….
but is there something that smells similarly pungent that I can grasp some sort of baseline?
Febreeze! I prefer the natural essential oil (plant derived) of patchouli over obnoxious chemical products anyday! That fabric freshening crap makes me physically ill. But when it comes to patchouli a little dab”ll do ya! Many people who wear scents tend to overdo it. whether natural aromas or chemical prodiucts like the dreaded axe stuff!
From Urban Dictionary & others
Hippie perfume … smells like forest, pot and snuggling (?)
Patchouli extract smells overall earthy, dark-cold, slightly sweet. But mainly earthy, think of a cold moist dark basement.
At it’s best I think it smells earthy, green, a bit sweet. At it’s worst it smells like body odor.
Weed and patchouli aren’t that different of a smell, so if you smell like weed all the time nobody knows if you’re high or just dirty.
sold
i’m with chickpeasis, i hate scented shite and to be perfectly honest i’d rather smell someone’s sweat then say charlie…anyone remember that gag-inducing spray? puke
OMG Charlie by Revlon????
My aunt used to use that shit. She visited last yr and I hid the bottle. Went out and bought her (and my nose) a new perfume gift. Also introduced her to the art of misting the body, not drenching it. Ughhhhhhh
You know … I don’t think I ever “un-hid” the bottle which means that devil scent is still in the house … somewhere.
haha that’s the stuff donkey dearest…a little goes along way when it comes to perfume. that stuff was definitely eau de turlet^^
Lol zZz.
What was the Rose sented body powder? That’s the smell I’ll always remember.
Thanks for asking the question zZz…I was hoping it would come up as I scrolled…lol.
I remember the rose sented body powder…
Jeez, I guess I’m the only one who disagrees OP. I once had a very fine FWB who wore a hint of patchouli (she’s a tree hugger, but one who bathes) and it never bothered me. The scent still gets my “attention” haha.
Ah, those were hot, hot nights…..
Just because something is “natural” doesn’t mean that it’s good for you or better than “evil” synthetic substances. Synthetic substances are nothing more than natural substances perfected or improved by science and technology. That’s why I find it irritating when so called hippies preach about naturopathy, and then when they really get sick it’s off to the hospital for some “evil” science based medicine.
off topic…
oops
enough to gag a fucking maggot, that shit is hella fucking stinky. give them an extra shot for the ole suckster too.
no worries about off topic snoop, have you ever met a bitch thread that stayed ON topic??
Meanwhile, I’m not a bit fan of scents – deodorant, and soap and shampoo, that’s about all I can handle.
Patchouli is an ok scent, the trouble is that most wearing it also stink like weed and sweat and dirty socks and last night’s curry – so it get a bad, raunchy rap.
Dirty Little Secret – I use AXE. Sparingly. I do it because of the commercials. Not because they’ve convinced me that I’ll pull if I smell like Tsunami. Nope. They are so audaciously, over the top, neanderthal sexist that I figure everytime one airs, a bitter little Femshevik Andrea Dworkin type buttplug’s head explodes, and I just gotta be a part of that. >; )
the boy uses the body wash general, as i recall he smelled nice *sigh* i loved the high karate ads…thanks for the larf^^
Anytime. How is the lad doing in the big stink?
he is excellent… right some smrt me lad is. the small bidness world is making my horns grow longer
LOL @ Ivan ^^^^
My friend in a neighbouring cubicle wanted to know what I was laughing at. You were just quoted. Thanks for the giggle – rawk!
Great about the lad. Screeeee! >: )
Sorry about the small bidness world. Roooooooo! >: (
Is it Fuckstick clientele or the minutiae of trying to provide a service in spite of the obstacles of government and bureaucracy?
Me fame spreads. >; ) Lashings of thanks Ralmny. If I can me Bitch mates a Steffi Graf, me work is done.
I call these hippy types Wookies. Hey Booer, did you used to curl up in your tree hugger’s arm pit hair?
it’s never the clientele…other stuff that i can’t really mention. ever onward and damn the torpedoes
I hears ya. “Don’t give up the ship” and “You may fire when ready, Gridley”
Screeeeeeee!
Yeah…much better to sniff hot sweaty armpit & wide open arsehole than a flowery, or musky scent !
Those of you who feel that way should look for new diggs near the sewage pumping stations.
You’ll get all the wonderful fecal scent & no flower in the world can hide it from you ~;p
well i guess if you greet people like a feckin dog would you might notice a smelly arse
The Countess loves my sweaty socks. And when I pat her, that furry little bum goes right up in the air. I know I’m supposed to take it as a compliment, but IT’S JUST DOWNRIGHT CREEPY >: 0
Disclaimer – The Countess is my cat. Sonofabitchova is my wife. She hates my socks.
our wee black beastie likes my stinky sandals
Nah, Broc.
Minus the hair on her head and her eyebrows she was smooth as silk haha. A treehugger in mind and attitude only (and ferocious lover as I recall).
Damn, gotta call her up….