It makes me absolutely furious how many gay teens and university students have made the news for committing suicide because they were bullied or chastised for being gay.
I am so infuriated, reading yet another story – this time about a university student who was secretly taped with another man and then it was broadcasted across the net. The student jumped off a bridge and killed himself.
How many suicides have to happen before the bullies F*CK the F*CK off!!
If you’re gay, you’re born that way, its not a choice. Why can’t others open their minds and live and let live?
Thank goodness initiatives like Dan Savage’s “it gets better” have popped up. Hopefully the messages start to reach these people who are being tormented, and show them that it really does get better.
It Gets Better —Tired of homophobia
This article appears in Sep 30 – Oct 6, 2010.
It’s sickening and truly quite horrifying to know that someone SO young would think that their life is so terrible, that they’re so unloved, that they would choose to end their own life.
I feel… bad. Guilty, almost. I am gay. But, to be quite honest, I never really endured any hardship for it. My family still loves me and I was never bullied in school, and to this day I have never really been the victim of any gay bashing, although I know some who have. I only feel bad because I feel like I don’t have much of a right to tell them that it gets better when, really, I didn’t have much to improve off of.
If I could, I would speak to any teenager individually who is suffering from this kind of bullying and tell them that it’s not worth it to kill themselves, that… it DOES get better. I may not have been bullied for being gay, but I was bullied. It does get much better when you’re an adult… I wish I could tell kids that personally.
Even if it WAS people’s choice to be gay, lesbian, etc., that should not be a reason why people bully you. And nothing is a good reason for bullying. Bullying simply isn’t justifiable. But in many ways, bullies are the victims themselves, for their lack of qualities that the rest of the society hold dear, like empathy, acceptance, understanding, and in many cases…intelligence.
I was bullied once (well, for 5 years) and the root cause was that the bully was jealous of the fact that my parents were slightly more well off than her parents. The only thing that got me through it was my parents words: “we are on your side no matter what”. There are people out there who will be on your side no matter what.
I think this is a devastating crisis going on in our society today. I really find it hard to understand how people can be so cruel and hurt someone else intentionally for ANY reason at all. But, especially when it comes to something like a persons sexual orientation.
What is wrong with our society that makes something like bullying or gay bashing so prevelant? Is it the way kids are raised? I would love to speak with these bullies and their parents face to face.
It really makes me sick to my stomach, and I cried when I read this bitch. No one ever has the right to make someone else feel less than they are for any reason… whether it be they’re gay, black, poor, fat or anything else people feel the need to bully people over.
I love that Dan Savage started this campaign and I think this is an important cause for people, gay and straight, to get involved with.
Not to belittle those who kill themselves because of sexuality, but people are killing themselves for lots of reasons. Reasons in their minds which make death seem like a perferable alternative to continueing to live the way they do.
Sad , absolutely.
THere are resources available to help these people through a tough situation… IMO part of the problem is that no matter what reason(s) a person has or thinks they have, the bottom line is depression & hopelessness & the feelings associated with being trapped & alone.
This isn’t a gaylesbiantransgenderedqueer problem, its bigger than that.
Not that I have a problem with suicide, if that’s what you want, go for it.
I just believe there should be much more in your face type advertising ? or information out there that there is help availalbe, so those who feel they have no one to turn to, at least know about that.
yes, and life is full of rainbows and everyone is holding hands, smiling, and sharing all the fucking time.
growing up sucks… you’re basically forced to be in close contact with other retard people constantly over the course of preteen-teen years.
Many are morons with deadbeat parents who just don’t give a fuck.
as you get older, you realize you don’t have to be around them anymore if you don’t want to, but that doesn’t wipe them off the face of the planet. they’re still out there being idiots day in and day out affecting other stupid people’s lives.
you’re going to run into them….
it’s inevitable.
either learn to deal… or go ‘jump off a bridge’ …
The dude who killed himself after his roommate posted the sex video online probably would have killed himself regardless at some point soon. Possibly the video was the final straw, but if it hadn’t been something else would have been. Sounds like the poor dude was all messed up from hiding his sexuality for so long.
Yeah, that doesn’t mean the roommate should go about posting sex videos of him online, but I’m saying that people who commit suicide would have probably done it anyway.
Not to belittle the plight of LGBT individuals, but I’ve found that life for pretty much everybody gets better after high school/college (especially high school).
The main thing in my opinion, is that bullying for any reason is wrong. It could have been a woman the young man was having sex with, but that doesn’t change the fact that his privacy was violated and the two individuals responsible should have to pay for what they did.
I agree with what More was saying. It is a bigger problem than just LGBT issues, but at the same time, I’m sure LGBT must have higher rates of being bullied. The world is not an accepting palce sometimes and teenagers especially need to know that there are palces and people for them to turn to.
I also agree with what brendon195 says about how life does pretty much get better for everybody after high school.
I have a very very close friend who is gay, and several other old friends and aquaintences who are. I don’t remember any of them being bullied, but I do remember one friend in particular whose parents had an extremely hard time understanding it. They live in a small town, they didn’t know any gay people, they thought it could be fixed and that it was like a mental disability. Now that they understand and know that he can be successful in life just like anyone else, his life has gotten so much better. Living in fear was horrible for him, thinking they would disown him. It does get better.
I always found this comic to be rather poignant (though it doesn’t exactly apply in this situation): http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/10/…
Move to Tehran?
I do not understand folks who are homophobic, racist, anti/pro (choice) abortion, etc., etc. etc., etc. Why the fuck can’t these people see that deep down we are ALL human. We ALL bleed red blood, we ALL have emotions in one way or another, we ALL breathe oxygen, we ALL live on this fucking planet (etc., etc., etc.)! Why can’t we ALL just get along?!!? If you are anti this or that, what’s your fucking problem? Do you believe these people are going to harm you? Are you going to die because little Johnny or Janie is gay or lesbian?? If a person/couple decides whether or not to keep their baby do you think you, or they, are going to ignite and burn to the ground? Not gonna happen!
What’s your fucking problem? Leave them all alone. Let them be who they are. Whether they made a good decision or not in your pea-sized mind how is it going to directly affect you? Statistics say IT WON’T!! THEY are the ones who are going to be affected due to the decisions THEY make. N-O-T Y-O-U, asshole! Some of you are no better than the snot-nosed, shitty-assed swarmers.
I NEED ANOTHER COFFEE… CRRROOAAKKK!!
This makes me so mad too! I can’t stand it! My best friend is gay and he was always made fun in school and he didn’t even think he was gay then which made it worse. Now that he’s done with silly public school, he came out and feels much better. Although his parents are kind of stuck in the fifties or something…his idiotic father BLAMES his mother for their son being gay. And his mother said she doesn’t like the fact he’s gay because she doesn’t like the “gay lifestyle”. Could someone please enlighten me to what exactly the “gay lifestyle” is? What is this way of living that all gay people are doing? It’s so ignorant. And even my boyfriend can be ignorant sometimes…I told him my friend’s boyfriend was cheating on him and the first thing he said was “That’s so gay!” and then I snapped back with “You cheated on your ex-girlfriend, does that make you gay!?” and he said “Well…uh…no…I was just saying….” Frig. Get with the times people! Hopefully a lot of these homophobic people will die off soon anyway.
I think McNasty needs a different type of beverage. 😉
The case of 18 year old Tyler Clementi at Rutgers University is tragic. I don’t agree with the comment that he would have eventually committed suicide anyway for some other reason. We all pass through periods in our journey through life when our problems threaten to overwhelm us. The teen years are especially challenging for many.
But it does get better, whether we’re talking about the challenges faced by gays and lesbians or the issues faced by straight teens as they try to figure out their place in the world.
As far as the reason for all of the homophobia in the world, one doesn’t have to look very far to find the source: religious believers of various stripes whose ‘god’ tells them homosexuality is wrong, and politicians who capitalize on these beliefs to increase their own popularity among these types of voters. It happens all over the world, from Tehran to Ottawa.
Good to see someone actually make a point in this discussion.
“one doesn’t have to look very far to find the source: religious believers of various stripes whose ‘god’ tells them homosexuality is wrong, and politicians who capitalize on these beliefs to increase their own popularity among these types of voters”
Homophobia needs to die, or be killed, however we as human beings can make it happen. We may not be able to affect the entire planet, but we can start in our homes, our families, our schools and not give up til it happens.
This poor kid just didn’t have the strength to get through. Without facing homophobia, potentially his entire life, perhaps he may have had the confidence and strength to realize that this to would pass and life would carry on for him.
Homophobia is wrong, no excuses! I don’t care what your reasons are or who taught you to believe it or what your experiences have been, it’s wrong. What gets me is the religious leaders telling their parishoners it’s a sin, while their counterparts rape little boys. Parents teaching their children it’s wrong instead of letting them have their own mind, it’s the only thing they own for God sakes. Politicians leaning with the majority with not an ounce of integrity in their being.
When are people gonna just worry bout themselves……it would be so easy……
PEOPLE HATING ON GAYS? SINCE WHEN?
Oh and what about straight people that commit suicide? Not a big deal I guess…
GF, no one is saying straight people who commit suicide don’t matter. However, gays committing suicide is something that I am convinced can be prevented. Both Loco and Commandante Esposito make really good points, especially about our leaders using the gay issue as something to make them more popular. It starts with small-minded people and eventually others are sucked into it. It blows my mind how some seemingly otherwise really good people can be so anti-gay. It’s just not right.
GF, piss off.
I hate it that whenever someone has to point out a specific group of people and how sad it is that something like suicide happened amongst them, some asshat needs to chime in and be like, “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE [insert regular non-minority here]?! I don’t see why I should feel bad for x anymore than y!”
Why? WHY? Why do people need to go there? This isn’t about how much more tragic it is that a gay kid chose to kill himself over a straight kid that chose to kill himself. This is about how fucking unfortunate it is that someone felt that their life was so worthless, so hopeless over something so trivial that they had to end their life.
The apathetic attitude of “oh this has always happened to ___, so whatever” or “well he/she probably would have killed himself eventually anyway” is just some of the bullshit that perpetuates this kind of tragedy. People think no one should bother to do anything about it, so they don’t.
For the record, I’m not less sympathetic to anyone who kills themselves for any reason over the other, but I do think it’s pretty damn awful when something like this happens.
When I get suicidal, I try and think of the suicidal bunny.
http://www.jimmyr.com/blog/Bunny_Suicide_C…
Not to everyone’s taste I’m sure, but it taught me to not take myself too seriously to the point that I had to contemplate ending my life.
mod.4.0, honey chile, why was my comment deleted, there wasn’t nothing bad in it at all.if you are going to keep deleting pertinent comments, then i fear the coast will becomme like the horrid,very soon. either that, or a ghost town, with no one here.
Kids are CRUEL. When I was in junior high my best friend at the time came out as bi sexual and *I* got harassed too just because I was her friend. People wrote me nasty notes and said some pretty brutal stuff to me and the school I went to did absolutely NOTHING about it. Someone stole my agenda once and wrote AWFUL things in it and put it in a place that I would find it. When friends urged me to bring it to the office, the vice principal and principal just tore the pages out and gave me the agenda back. Not a word was spoken about the incident.
It was awful and I wasn’t even dealing with the fact that I was GLBT. I can’t IMAGINE what kids who *are* GLBT must feel — being told they’re “wrong” for something they can’t control.
Someone once asked me when in my life I ‘decided’ I was gay.. I told them it was right around the time that they ‘decided’ they were straight.