Gate crasher

To the little asshairs who kicked in the iron gate at a downtown bar: I really can’t understand what kind of drunken pleasure you got out of causing the senseless damage you caused. Obviously your dick is so small you have to prove what a tough guy you are by fucking up someone else’s property. Pointing out that you have a lot of growing up to do is pointless. You probably think you’re a man, but here’s a hint: Chimpanzees can drink, fuck and fight. It doesn’t make them men. MEN respect other people and other people’s property. They use courtesy and respect and as a result are respected by others. Your parents must be so proud they raised such a good person. Anyway, having said that, I hope when you eventually DO grow up, and have a house and property of your own, that somebody just like you comes along and fucks up something of yours to give you a good idea that karma is a bitch. Meanwhile, have a good laugh over my response to your idiocy. That’s what dumb-asses like you do best. —Grown up

This article appears in Mar 10-16, 2011.