Those fucking idiots on the crispy chicken sandwich commercial: Nobody holds a fucking chicken sandwich like that. And it doesn’t crunch like that, it’s a fucking soundtrack. And they aren’t even eating it. It’s all done by food artists. You never get a fucking sandwich that looks like that. Bunch of arseholes. -PK’s Mom
This article appears in Apr 3-9, 2014.
haha, they use people with small hands to make the burgers look bigger
Coolest.Mom. Ever. ♥
True Story.
The gene pool just gets more diluted with each passing day.
Why don’t they ever show fatasses scarfing that shit down?
I’m glad I have no idea what this is…
commercials are so 1990.
i agree op! that constipated manner of holding is in burger commercials too.
It’s called advertisement, ALL companies do that with their products. Have you forgotten (or not old enough) K-Tel and Ronco?
http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.6079921173…
Who watches commercials? DVR?
The ads have to look like that to sucker the buying public into spending their dollars on their product. If they showed what they look like in real life, would anybody actually buy them? My sentiments too Ivan about PK’s mom. COOL.
It’s not even a sandwich, it’s a burger. If it comes in a bun, it’s a burger. The bun distinguishes it FROM a sandwich!!!
Why do they always have us English fellas selling crap like Oxy Clean, is it because you coolies still think us white devils are more trustworthy, or you’re more gullible?
And at the end of the ad it’s always, but wait, if you call within the next ten minutes we’ll double your order.
As for the crispy chicken thingy, the crunch is the dead, scaly parts of the late, great Colonel Sanders sprinkled on top.
AN INCOHERENT BITCH
“It’s all done by food artists.” PK’s Mom
To protest that commercial advertisements are misleading constructs designed to attract gullible consumers is to misconceive the nature of current reality. Today such commercial advertisements are not to be conceived as misleading constructs but rather constitute our reality, our modern ontology if you like. To protest that they are misleading constructs is therefore incoherent.
New Avatar Alert! Five Reichsmarks, 1942
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
What makes a burger?
If tuna salad is served on a bun does it then lose its standing as a sandwich and become a burger? Cold cuts on a hogie bun; mufalatta, filled gougere, pulled pork & cole slaw on a bun, etc. None of these would be sandwiches.
What if hamburgers/cheeseburgers were served on sliced bread? Would they then become sandwiches?
I need a philosopher’s take on this……
Havew any of you ever actually worked to make a food commercial ?
I’ve done a few over the years, that xmas ‘happy holidays one’ that is shown by our Family owned NS grocery chain ….After we made that I couldn’t eat or look at a turkey for about 6 years ! we used shellac to make the turkey look shiny & delicious …and as the camera panned by there was that little dribble of moisture to make the turkey look juicy & nice …it was a syringe , attached to a tube with a big F’in horse doctors needle pushed up out of shot into the turkey & Dan squirted crisco oil (can you say that ) from the syringe on cue !
they spray waxed the veggies & fruits , I remember the bins of food we threw out afterwards …. Beer commercials , particularly the ‘pour’ will make you cry if I described it & how its done & how much is wasted & you are a beer drinker !
Cola drinks, fresh fruit & veggie’s, fish etc …what we throw away afterwards (because its toxic even to rats when we’re done)
I remember watching a sandwich artist , put sesame seeds as per an architect drawing on a bun with tweezers & a type of glue that wouldn’t glare under the lighting. of putting styrofoam on the out of shot part of the sandwich/burger so that the exact amount of filling could be used ….but all of it placed forward into the shot, makes the burger look huge & awesome & really isn’t lying, you see they use the same amount as you actually get 7 the styrofoam it just to keep the bun at the adjusted height ~;)
, they just don’t spread it out as they would irl !
Working as a tech in filming Food commercials , gives you nightmares afterwards .
THE PROBLEM OF DENOTATIVE REFERENCE
RSVP
: Nukka (04/04, 9:41AM)
“I need a philosopher’s take on this.”
The problem before us is what does, or what does not, make a burger? In philosophy this is called “the problem of denotative reference.” What does that mean?
What it means is that whether or not we call something a “burger” depends upon definitional criteria which must be met in order for the demand of such denotative reference to be fulfilled. Presupposed, of course, is whether or not such denotative criteria exist in the first place. This is problematic.
The first step is to determine the ontological nature of the burger. Does it appear in nature or is it a man-made construct? Clearly, the burger does not appear as such in extra-linguistic reality. It is not like, say, a stone or a tree. In other words, the burger is a man-made construct. But what does this mean?
What this means is that we must leave the realm of denotative reference and rise to the level of connotative reference. In other words, the meaning of a burger is relative to the one who calls a particular object “a burger.” The important point is that there are no definitive criteria which might apply across the range of individual connotative reference. We have entered the realm of meaning, not of simple pointing. Put differently, for one the object might be a burger but for another it might be a sandwich. In other words, there are no supervenient criteria which might work to adjudicate the dilemma.
I am sure you will agree with my analysis.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Not sure where any of y’all went to school but
they taught what ‘more’ described in grade 7…
Right down to the fake back to push all the toppings up front.
Does anyone else remember their basic schooling???
A buddy of mine from many years back, Monty Charness, did some acting bits for fast food advertisers in Toronto. One experience, in particular, grossed him totally out – he was posed to look like he was about to devour a tuna salad filled sub sandwich for one of the big chains. The tuna, however, was replaced with cat food because it withstood the hot lights better than the tuna. He said the odor was simply revolting and he did everything in his power to keep from gagging into a foot long bun.
nukka nailed the nitty gritty.
a bun cannot automatically mean burger or my egg salad on bun would be a burger and that just doesn’t compute.
Hey MM,
I’m going to plagiarize the shit out of what you wrote.
Thanks
Zed: I know someone who was on street cents that did a ‘beef’ for mcdonalds and fast food commercials and they went over the shit more-on posted.
And that was a show for kids, so….
was that before or after jonovision?
Why do Americans call it Tuna Fish instead of Tuna, has Neil Degrasse Tyson discovered a new type of walking Tuna on Cosmos to piss of the Creationists?
It was 1996, I believe.
You can serve steak between two slices of bread and it’s a steak “sandwich” but, if you put it on a bun, it’s a steak “burger”. If you serve a burger between two slices of bread and smother it in gravy, it DOES lose its “burger” status and becomes a sandwich.
If you take a sandwich and swap the bread for a bun, you have some sort of hybrid. Not really a “sandwich”, and not really a “burger” because the bun is only a substitute for bread. It’s all about expectations. Would it be ok for McDonalds to start serving their burgers between two slices of bread? Would you not take it back or, at the very least, find it strange?
Saying that a burger bun is universal for both sandwiches and burgers is just stupid, it makes the medium it is served on irrelevant. If I stuffed egg salad between two crushed volkswagons, would it still be a sandwich?
A burger is a type of sandwich and the distinguishing factor would be the bun. Just like a turkey sandwich has all the same ingredients as a turkey “sub” or a turkey “wrap” but, add a long bun or pita bread and it is magically transformed into a “sub” or a “wrap”. Same goes for wraps, you can’t just flatten out some regular-ass bread, roll your sandwich ingredients up in it and call it a wrap because it’s got “flat bread”. The way I see it, the ONLY thing separating the wrap, the sandwich and, the burger, IS the type of bread used!!!!!
Hell, out here in Alberta restaurants and people seem to think a steak sandwich is a steak on top of a single piece of garlic toast. I shit you not.
Burger Philosophy 101: I make homemade bread all the time. Sometimes I form some of the bread dough into buns. It’s all the same bread.
It is the meat patty that makes it a burger, not the bun. If I put egg salad on the bun instead of a meat patty it is not an egg salad burger. A burger is just a fancy name for a meat patty sandwich.
But really, who gives a fuck about what it’s called? How it tastes is what really matters.
Re: Sammich-burger debate. Ya’ll gotz too much time on yo hands.
TT fonebone: I call bullshit. Catfood doesn’t even look like Tuna fish.
No Fool
When (for example ) anyone puts peanut butter on a piece of toast & another slice of toast on top …its called a toasted peanut butter sandwich in my house. If you put peanut butter on 2 slices of toast “without” putting the piece on top …its called peanut butter on toast ….I do not know why.
Its always been that way as far back as I can remember. But in thinking about it now, It must be that the two must be jammed together with a top & bottom layer of bread ….that constitutes a ‘sandwich’
Now what’s really troubling is what constitutes a manwich ….& who came up with that ?!? ~;)
Hey no-fool maybe the kind of tuna cat food you buy doesn’t …the kind my ex used to get for her cat certainly did !
This happened in the 1970s – canned cat food mixed with mayo looked very similar to tuna salad, no_fool. You do realize that you don’t have the monopoly on food art stories, jizzhead.
I’ll betcha you feed your kitty that hard processed crunchy crap that destroys their kidneys within a decade.
Yeah, flaked light tuna is the shit of the shit as far as tuna’s concerned.
Solid white albacore is where it’s at, but it’s more expensive so whenever you go to a restaurant or flubway you can only get the light crap, which tastes DISGUSTING. blech.
I give my cat pure chicken of the sea. She’s 14 years old. I have never seen any cat food that looked like tuna. Your friend is lying fone bone, he prolly never had an acting job before.
Having read all this, I’m hungry.