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I just bought some of your bagels yesterday, took them home for a bagel session, opened the package, split the first bagel and lost it. The top half was wafer thin, leaving the bottom so thick that I couldn’t fit it in the damn toaster. Is this your idea of a joke? Not funny. Ruined my evening. —Breadlover6000
This article appears in Nov 4-10, 2010.
35 Comments
it RUINED your evening? hmmm.. and i thought I had no life 🙂
that’s why they make extra wide toaster jobs. holy fuck, is that your bitch, man that is fucking lame-o, just like you, i guess.
Get an oven toaster?
I just bought one of those wide toasters to deal with this sort of travesty. Or when I didn’t have my new lovely toaster, I would just smoosh the bagel down. Don’t worry, you’re just going to chew it anyway. Smooshing bread doesn’t make it poison, despite popular belief
Did the bagel come pre-cut? I don’t get how this is the beagle makers problem if you can’t cut a beagle in 2 equal half’s. And if it did come pre split – shave off a little of the extra thick side and suck it up….it’s only bagel.
http://modculture.typepad.com/photos/uncat…
if it was cut razor thin then you could easily cut the larger size in half, yes? Or you could just let someone so minor ruin your evening, whatevs..
This is a bitch?????? Sounds more like a nasally whine to me.
Buy the http://www.kathmcguire.co.uk/srilanka/imag… and slice your own bagels.
Uh…buy bagels that aren’t pre cut and cut them yourself?
I wish all I had to worry about are too-thin bagels.
I actually love it when I get mistakes in my mass produced food/items. It makes my day! Once I got a two headed peep. It was the best thing ever.
or the ‘infinity’ fruit loops…
knew it was going to be a good day with one of those.
I had an entire loaf of bread that was sliced twice…I couldn’t even eat it…it was like the slicer cut the whole bread half way through wrong and on an angle, then re-cut it. It didn’t ruin my day though.
yummy candy
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vmk7t6U1H8U/Sts3…
Ha ha, that’s hilarious, painey. If only they were Christmas stocking appropriate… excellent holiday treat!
I like buying the fresh bread from the grocery store and having them slice it for me. I can never slice my bread properly from a loaf. English muffins and bagels are fine, but homemade bread? Not quite. I bought a bread maker and the slices have been turning out quite tragically when I slice them…and the loaves tend to be huge…I might go back to making my own bread in da oven so I can stop getting massive loaves.
I want to make my own bread in the oven PK…any good recipes…I’m really not good at baking…I can cook…but I can’t bake at all.
RC, yes a shaved beagle is easier to toast. LOL.
OB you call this a bitch? The closest thing to a bitch here may be RC’s beagle.
I’m a great cook, RC, but I haven’t invested too much into baking except for cupcakes (I seem to be good at that) and I make an orgasmic carrot cake. I haven’t made oven bread in YEARS so I’d have to go through my recipe collection and my mom/grandmothers’ recipe collection and find something good 🙂
here’s an easy trick to slicing bread : throw it in the freezer for like a half hour , it’ll slice way easier and less crumbs(works with meat too) 🙂
http://www.instructables.com/community/Myt…
Yum.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_r5YW1Oy9n7Y/S_OL…
PK. I’m a great cook too, but never bake. To me recipes are just suggestions☺
I feel OB’s bitch. It’s sucky to have one half of your bagel burn and the other side gooey in the middle ’cause they’re diff widths. I love the NY ones , but some of the pre sliced ones do come all fecked up. Best o cut it yourself! Speaking of meat, marty, I bought a large package of prosciutto – which I ADORE – and it was all stuck together, the little plastic papers separating the slices weren’t in the right places, making a shredded unholy mess when I tried to pry them apart. Didn’t ruin my night but I was a cursin’ like a sailor.
i haven’t made my own bagels in a few years. they are yummy but take a while in my wee kitchen. that looks tasty hugo. take the shitty cured meat back ralmn
I suppose the simple way to solve this problem is to buy a bagel holder like they have at Timmie’s when they slice their bagels.
The best spreads for bagels are cream cheese and lox, thanks HF, just don’t forget the capers. Goes especially well with beer> Hic.
I’ve said this before; LA HAVE Bakery have the best bagels – if you accidentally slit your wrist slicing them, count your blessings.
Grace I’ve tried and tried, but olives and capers, bleah 🙁
No olives, bleah……. just a couple of capers.
Ok, you eat it your way, I’ll smoke it my way.
Cheers!
> Hic <
LMAO Bro Tim….Thanks for picking that up and making me laugh tea out my nose!
After reading your comment PK I spent hours on line looking up recipes for bread and rolls and now I’ll be on the search for carrot cake!…..but I think I’ll just hit a local bakery in the morning and put on 10lbs in carbs this weekend.
Eeeeexcellent. Did you make it to the market last week?? great place to hit up if you’re lookin’ for extra carbs 🙂
Wasn’t worth the hassle to bringing it back to NB, painey ^^^
I didn’t! I was in the city at my office working too… but I was feeling really under the weather and didn’t want to be in a crowd. Halloween party the night before so I was up way past my usual bedtime. lol.
I think I’m going to try Julien’s Pastry Shop in the Hydrostone….never been there before.
Oh, it’s loverly too… Cozy spot for tea and a sweet. Yum, yum. The bread is awesomeness cubed.
Oooh martym — you’re right! I hate slicing meat that’s 100% thawed out. MUCH easier to slice when it’s half frozen. Especially if you want really thin slices of beef.
Fucking bagel makers – how do they work?