You killed my Dad today you nasty prick.. —Mr. Meaty
This article appears in Jul 31 – Aug 6, 2014.
Fuck you cancer
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Geeze, Meaty, I’m sorry to hear that about your dad. That c*cks*cker cancer took my dad at the age of 61, a year older than I am now – you have my deepest sympathy going down that painful road.
i am so sad to hear this….so sorry bud
Oh Meaty, I’m so sorry to hear about your father. My thoughts are with you and your family. *hugs*
I’m terribly sorry Meaty. Cancer is one awful fucker.
Add my big sloppy Slavic condolences to everybody else’s, Mr. M. So sorry for your you and your family.
I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. M.
Meaty, I am so sorry that you lost your Dad. I hope it was gentle. You are in my heart today–your Dad is too. Much love to you and yours.
SheSang
I’m so sorry to hear about your father. Fucken cancer is like an epidemic now 🙁
Very sorry for your loss Meaty.
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
What kind of cancer was it?
My interest is not entirely academic as I have had Non-Hodgkins lymphoma since 2005. It sits there in the background like, well, like an elephant in the room.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Sorry to hear that, MM. I hope you are able to keep the beast at bay.
🙁
So sorry to hear Montreal Man–any illness sucks, but cancer is just the worst. hope you are doing ok.
“FOCUSES THE MIND MARVELOUSLY”
While debating the merits of capital punishment in the 18th. century, Lord North who was clearly in favour of the practice, memorably remarked: “The prospect of hanging focuses the mind marvelously.”
I can report now that having lymphoma does the same.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
MM, you’re such a douchecanoe. Only the resident narcissist could turn someones greif into a pity party for themselves.
Condolences
Condolences, Meaty, on the loss of your beloved Dad.
heh hehheh greif
RSVP
: Taint (08/02, 6:42PM)
“Only the resident narcissist could turn someones (sic) greif (sic) into a pity party for themselves. Condolences.”
My comments on cancer were never intended to turn someone’s grief into a pity party for myself. On the contrary, they were intended as an attempt, however briefly, to theoretically engage the diagnosis of cancer from the perspective of one who actually has it. But I know that you will never understand that. But what does it mean to theoretically engage the topic of cancer?
To theoretically engage the diagnosis of cancer involves reflecting, from one’s own perspective, on the reactions of those who have been afflicted. Such reactions appear to conform to Kubler-Ross’ psychological reactions on learning of one’s approaching death – first mind-numbing horror, then struggle (researching the variety of one’s cancer, writing diaries and so on), and finally the acceptance of one’s condition. In my own case my lymphoma is treatable but not curable and I have accepted that.
However, another common reaction is an awareness of the conceptual space between one’s body and one’s mind. Some go so far as thinking that their body has “betrayed” them but I find that a bit excessive. However, in my case, the diagnosis of lymphoma has given an impetus to my natural inclination to philosophize. One sees, or one tries to see, the bigger picture.
I hope your “condolences: were for Meaty and not for me. I have not joined the chorus of condolences since, on an anonymous site like Bitch where such identities are purposely concealed, I find offering condolences odd to say the least. In some cases there are those who one feels that one does know, as far as is possible, but for me Meaty is not one of them and so offering my condolences would seem not only superficial but hypocritical. I sympathize with Meaty – I also have first-hand experience of a father’s death – but such sympathy, at least for me, is to be kept private and not broadcast.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
I don’t think MM was intending to start a pity party for himself, Taint. I think he was just trying to show that he can relate to the situation.
Next summit, we’ll all have a drink and raise our glasses to your dear dad, Meaty. I hope you’ll join us!
Hey Meaty, I’ll hold cancer down and turn my head while you do whatever you want to the little prick.
Agreed with PK, 100%. Shared experience is shared empathy. I’m at a point in life where I know nobody who has not been touched in some form or another by the black death of our generation. Which is why I can send my sympathies to somebody that I know only on an anonymous board without it feeling fatuous or non-genuine.
doesn’t each of us use this forum in our own ways? it’s intensely personal for some, an engaging mind exercise for others, and for some it depends on the subject or one’s mood at the moment.
the experience changes with the one experiencing. I would imagine with someone like MM the subject of cancer and death, since he has the one and is facing the other, is an endless source of speculation on how the mind accommodates the constant threat. a posting by someone here about it would naturally trigger a sideline thought and because this is anonymous, he couldn’t ask the question in person. since he has known for 5 years and this is the first mention of it, doesn’t give much credibility to taint’s accusation.
(in case this isn’t clear, I am agreeing with what PK said)
anyone who knows they have a terminal illness knows they are going to die, I mean really knows. not like pre-diagnosis, where its just an intellectual acceptance. ‘yeah everyone, everything dies’. post diagnosis gets you in the guts. ‘oh god, I’m going to die’. and it’s not a torch that you can pass on to someone else to do in your place. it’s not an exam you can skip and do a make-up on later when you are better prepared for it. it’s the rock in the road you knew would be there eventually, but now it’s RIGHT THERE and you just can’t get around it.
Stephen king wrote well ( as he usually does) about this in the stand. frannies pregnancy. as she went about her normal business in the day the pregnancy kept coming to mind in thousands of tiny ways. I need to get that dress to the drycleaners (except I won’t be wearing it much longer because I am PREGNANT) I’m going to miss my bus if I don’t run for it ( but I won’t be able to run in a month because I am PREGNANT)
and cancer with a side helping of TERMINAL keeps intruding in life’s busy-ness as well. hey paper towels are on sale I should get 2 dozen (but will I live long enough to use them up?) setting your appointment manager reminder for next winter’s tire installation (will i still be driving by winter?) magazine subscriptions? should I buy new socks? should I burn those old love letters? throw out the veseys seed catalogues? all the minutiae that have to be held up and weighed against I WONT BE HERE ANYMORE.
it would drive me mad. and so grief. another rock that sits everywhere you look, anywhere you turn. GONE GONE GONE . I don’t know if we ever ‘accept ‘ that someone is gone, our minds just get exhausted from slamming against that fucking rock at every turn, and we start walking around it. until we get to that last rock of course.
meaty, i don’t know you, but i feel for you. cancer is a big fucking coward desease, it strikes when you least expect it.and it takes good ones, not the pieces of shit that should go, i believe you get my drift.
Sorry for your loss, Meaty. Fuck Cancer!
RSVP
: Good dog Molly (08/03, 8:21PM)
An interesting and reflective post Good dog but I’d like to add a couple of observations for what they’re worth.
It is true as you say that the experience changes with the one experiencing it but there is an asymmetrical relationship between the one experiencing it and one who has never experienced it at all. The former is a first-person experience which ranges over everything – war, love, cancer, etc. – while the latter is at best a vicarious or third-person, arm’s-length experience. While the latter cannot normally be translated into the terms of the former, the former can be put in terms of the latter. That is why the two kinds of experience are “asymmetrical.”
As a matter of fact it was my intent to do just that in my previous posts – to reflect on my own first-person experience of lymphoma from the third-person perspective of psychology and, more particularly, from the perspective of philosophy which happens to be the way I try to make sense of the world. In any case, it was never an attempt to convene some sort of “pity party” on my behalf, a comment which I found particularly stupid.
There is also an asymmetrical relationship between my lymphoma and “frannie’s” pregnancy. For obvious reasons I cannot enter into a first-person perspective to experience her condition at first hand (I cannot enter into a first-person perspective with Stephen King either but that is another matter) but there is a radical difference between the two kinds of experience since her pregnancy heralds the beginning of life while lymphoma (possibly) heralds its end.
Speaking of the end, the length of time elapsed between the diagnosis of lymphoma and the present (10 years, not 5) indicates one of two things. Either my time is running out or the cancer is in (complete?) remission. Being an optimist, I choose the second alternative. It has ceased being an “elephant in the room” (08/02, 8:49) or “the prospect of hanging” (2:43PM). It has become a sort of grey cloud which blots out the sun once and a while but not constantly and it never prevents me from buying a new pair of socks.
But you must cheer up! You write, “another rock that sits everywhere you look, anywhere you turn. GONE, GONE GONE.” Follow my lead and say, “Ah, to hell with the rocks!”
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Thank you all! You too MM… I wish you the best of health.
I’m not the sort who posts musical tributes on facebook, mostly because I’m not on facebook. But I heard this on Longmire a couple of weeks ago, and it’s triggered a whole tripwire of memories.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTavdFCuQhg
Hope you’re all having a great long weekend.
I’m jumping on the condolences train a bit late but sorry to hear about your Dad Mr. Meaty, cancer is a nasty thing. Hope you are doing relatively Ok, all things considered.
I actually have nothing sarcastic to say, which is rare for a douche like me. I’m sorry for your loss bud. Cancer took some of my favourite relatives from me.
I’m also late to the train, but condolences from my little corner as well Meaty.
I guess I really missed the boat this time, time to catch up after 3 week vaca. It was hard for me to read about your dad Meaty as it brought me back to the time when this F*^k^*g cancer took not only my dad but my mom when I was 20. I sympathize with you, but it’s really an understatement, as I feel your pain and loss for a loved one. Stay strong my friend, I’m here for you.