Goddamn you fuckers, flying hellions with your acute sense of vision. I was biking along at a lovely 17km/h when all of a sudden, a giant whatchamacallit bug flies directly into my left eye. Good thing I pulled on the brakes quickly enough before I almost ran into a tree. I spent almost twenty minutes plucking the dead bloody thing out of my upper eyelid and probably contracted some disease in the process…and now have a swelled up meatball for my interview tomorrow. Thanks for nothing you festering, pointless little creatures from HELL.
— dino (or was)
This article appears in Apr 30 – May 6, 2009.
sunglasses
…or flight goggles. Yes, that would be cooler.
I hope the Coast has a strong insectile readership and they see this bitch and take heed to stay away this summer. I’m with you dino. Let’s start the war on bugs! Starship trooper style!
put on an eye patch and pretend to be a pirate, I hear its a popular thing to be these days LOL
seriously i hope it gets better fast Dino good luck tomorrow
Hmm, how about a pair of Nite Owl II’s really cool goggles.
insects have the right to share the road with bikers and automobile drivers. and even with atv drivers in the woods.
maybe you should have looked out for the mosquito yourself!
just be grateful it wasn’t a “friendly” bee.
I think you need to check rules of the road NGF. Insects are clearly classified as pedestrians, not vehicles, and have no business being on the roadway. They should be on the sidewalks with the pedestrians where they belong.
The flying hellion did get the worse end of the deal in this situation. I’d count yourself lucky.
Definitely wear sunglasses. I learned that lesson early on (and much the same way). If it’s foggy, or not super bright out, get some clear ones, or lighter ones. You can get them fairly cheap at places like walmart if you can’t afford the “biking” ones.
Ah, same thing happened to me when I was about 8. I was running top speed, and SPLAT! a huge bug exploded right in my eye.. Definitely gross, thankfully my eye didn’t swell up and I didn’t have an interview the next day, but I’ll never forget picking the bug legs out of my eye..
June bug? Oh those are cute! Fuzzy bellies.
OK that’s it I starting a protest against the cruelty to insects. What right did you have to kill that poor creature. It has as much right to live as you and you didn’t even eat it or use its carcass. What a waste of life.
If it were not for the insects, right now you would be sitting on top of a pile of dead bodys three kilometers thick. I would love to see you ride your bike then….
You may have a puffy eye, but that poor bug is dead now thanks to you. You should be ashamed!
June bugs are not cute! they are scary little things
And they get stuck in your hair.
Cyclops bitching isn’t nearly as easy as I thought it would be.