Hi – I`m “Susie” the other twin. So “Sarah” my twin called me at home that night to tell me of her run in with numb nuts – I was off work that day. I went into work the next day and was met at my desk by Mr. Numb nuts himself. This is what happened:
“So, nice joke yesterday – be honest that was really you in the park.”
“I have no idea what you`re talking about.” (hehehehe)
“Yeah ya do-you don`t have to be so god damn rude.”
“What?”
“You know, in the park, you made up some bullshit story about you having a twin.”
“I do have a twin.”
“Fuck off – no you don`t – stop being a little bitch about it.”
He went on and on and I finally walked away and into the bathroom and called my sister and asked her to meet me at my office for lunch. For the rest of the morning he was constantly bugging me and even brought some of our co workers into it. They all acknowledged that I did in fact have a twin. He got even more upset and accused me of calling our coworkers at home that night to get them in on it. Yeah I have nothing better to do with my life then find ways to fuck with yours. Finally “Sarah” shows up and we walk down to his desk together and stand in front of him. Does he offer an apology for his behaviour? No! What does he say but ” Um Wow like um holy fuck, um like are you guys into like sharing cause like a have a thing for twins.”
FUCK YOU!! You dirty little ditch pig!!!
At least my sister got to tell you to go fuck yourself – I didn’t`t because I didn’t`t want to give you anything to use against me after I was finished my complaint with HR about you. Considering your temper and other issues in the office I can not wait to see you gone.
You`d do well to believe someone the next time they tell you something you pathetic fuckshit.
—The other twin.
This article appears in Jun 25 – Jul 1, 2009.
Very creative writing there. But wasn’t “Mr. Numbnuts” a woman in the original bitch?
Why did you give this guy so much of your power…..then get mad at him because he wont apologize? I am truly curious…
Seems you went to an awful lot of trouble for a guy you claim you dislike…..
odd
What the hell are you talking about mcgayle?
Deja vu….
The Tale of the Twins – yeah, right. The one I want to hear again is the Tale of the Three Breasted Triplets and their Deadly Circle of Tits.
Bahahaha
How could you tell his nuts were numb anyway?
This makes sense if you had read the original one back in May – good for you for screwing with him….
You shouldn’t have given the idiot the time of day, twin. Assholes like that don’t deserve a second look.
TTFN… I know its early but I’m off today & tomorrow. So I’ve mixed a tall rum & coke, got a spliff ready & would love to hear the tale about the Three breasted triplets & their amazing titties !
Hopefully it is a better work of fiction than what I just read 😉
Deadly circle of Tits….like a tit conspiracy. Or a tit mafia. Fuck, forget keeping my eyes peeled for Uzi’s and Shanks, I better be on the lookout for loaded acid bags.
If you get enveloped by the Deadly Circle of Tits, you’ll be mutilated by their 4″ nipple daggers that squirt steaming beaver piss. One way or another, the tits or beaver will prevail.
Let me piece together my broken bones after finally taking the perilous fall from my tower.
why not take a couple more mattresses and place them on the sides?
Buy yourself a plastic slide.
Maybe an elevator instead.